How to heal whats never been whole
by FionaRhiannon
Summary: She never thought she could feel this way about somebody. Not after Edward. And yet, here she was. All Human. Dark fic. Contains abuse, strong language and sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

**How to heal what's never been whole**

Disclaimer :- All recognizable characters, setting etc are property of their respective owners. The original plot is property of me, the author and i am in no way associated with the owners or creators of any media franchise. No Copyright infringement is intended. (I only wish i owned Carlisle ;) )

**_A/N: _**So im venturing out with my first Bella/Carlsile story. I hope you enjoy the story and please, feel free to review - it makes me feel good about the story and i'll want to write more. I also want to make sure people are enjoying it!

A special shoutout goes to my Beta, Kale.1987

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**Chapter 1: The way things are**

_I was sure to hear about this when I got home_

I sat in the ER nervously biting on what I had left of my nails. "I have your results – No concussion, I think that you'll be just fine" he smiled. I returned his smile weakly. "Can I leave now please? I really have to get home"

"Certainly" he nodded and he left the room. I got up off the bed and began to pull my gown off, slowly sliding it down my shoulder. The door clicked open and I quickly spun around.

The Doctor stood there, his eyes fixed on where my back had been. He quickly composed himself and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I left something in here"

I nodded and stepped back as he came across the room and retrieved his light. "Forgive me for intruding, but did you hurt your back?"

I froze and sucked in a big breath. He approached me cautiously and alarm bells rang inside my head but I already knew it was too late and that the damage had been done. The panic I had felt earlier had now tripled as I slowly turned around to face him. My mind was in two places right now and I wasn't sure which side to listen to, so I let him make the first move.

"I just want to make sure your okay before you go home, is that okay with you?" he asked me gently. I steadied myself with another big breath and turned around nodding. I lowered the gown a little more and gasped when his cool fingers lightly traced over my back. "Can I ask how you received these?"

They were old and I knew from the moment he spotted them he knew they were not from today.

"I was doing the laundry, some fell from the basket, my feet got caught and I fell"

_EURGH! It sounded so rehearsed_

I smiled again in the hope this explanation would satisfy his curiosity. His brows were creased to the centre, but his face smoothed out and he nodded, accepting.

"Is that all Dr Cullen?" I asked and he nodded, smiling and exhaling. "Your free to go" he told me, and he collected his things before leaving.

I made my way across the icy car park rushing a little to get home. In my hurry I lost my footing on a patch of ice. I braced myself for the pain that would follow once I hit the ground – but it never came. Instead I found myself wrapped in a pair of strong arms. But as quickly as they came - they were gone again. I turned to see Dr Cullen. "Sorry, thank you" I mumbled, not making eye contact with him. "your welcome" he replied, just a silver car pulled up at the side of us and the door swung open causing my breath to hitch in my chest. I gave another small smile of thanks as I excused myself and got in the car, shutting the door and doing up my belt.

It was only a short ride home and I fiddled nervously with the strap. My driver was silent the whole way, which had me all kinds of nervous.

When we pulled up in the drive I quickly got out, lightly jumping the three steps up to the porch and unlocking the door. He was quickly on my heels and as he slammed the door shut he grabbed me by my tied back hair and pulled. Pushing me through the arch to the living area I fell and scrambled across the wood flooring.

"YOU CRASHED THE CAR" he bellowed before kicking me in the stomach. I crushed my lips together, willing myself not to scream out. He enjoyed that more and I wouldn't make this that pleasurable for him.

He wasn't wholly bothered id crashed the car – after all it wasn't my fault and the insurance would cover it. What he wanted was an excuse and this was a brilliant one.

My hands formed a protective cage around my head, even though I knew he would never harm me anywhere where evidence was visible to a passerby.

"And who was that you were talking to? He asked.

"The – the Doctor" I stammered as I shook with fear. "I hope you didn't say anything" he spat and I shook my head violently. "not that anyone would believe you" he laughed.

He bent down and picked me up slightly so our faces were level. His eyes were dark and full of malice – so different from the ones I had once adored and trusted – and they bore into mine and he softly yet threateningly spoke.

"You will never see that Doctor again, so you understand me"

I nodded quickly before he continued. "He doesn't want some stupid, ugly pathetic excuse for a woman bothering him. He doesn't like you, he was just doing his job – so you make sure you don't make yourself an annoyance and stay away"

I fought back the tears as I nodded. I knew he was right – nobody had ever paid any attention to me, so why would they start now?

He let go of me and stood up, making his way over to the sofa, switching on the television as he sat down. He glanced over at me from his position on the sofa and said "Stop feeling sorry for yourself – its pathetic. Just do something useful. Get my dinner ready – I'm starving"

I quickly got to my feet ignoring the pain my stomach and went into the kitchen.

As I gathered the ingredients from the fridge I felt the tears roll down my cheek as I finally allowed myself to cry.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer - I dont own Twilight etc, but this story is mine!

A/N: Thank you all so much for all the story reviews, alerts etc - Made me smile alot! Im so glad your enjoying so far!

I can be quite quick with my updates alot of the time, and this chapter might have been ready earlier if it wasn't for the fact that i got totally sidetracked when a certain _Mr. Peter Facinelli _Tweeted me, _ME_, **TWICE **in one evening. Heck, it was about with in the hour!

So yeah, its safe to say i was quite happy about that :)

But now im back to it, so on with the story!

And another big shoutout to my Beta, Kale1987. Cupcake, your my inspiration :)

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**Chapter 2**

I took the punishment he gave me. I deserved this.

But there was a part of my brain that begged for someone to hear him, to save me from this – but no one ever did. Besides, who would I be without him – who would want me? I would have nothing and no one. Edward always said I was worthless and that nobody would put up with me and my clumsiness like he did.

"Don't you pay attention?" he shouted. I knew it was rhetorical, but I mumbled another apology.

I took a tentative step towards him, my arms half outstretched, but he knocked me back, his fist making contact with my face before I fell to the floor, a glass smashing seconds before I collided with the cold stone..

I cowered against the cupboard, shaking as he looked down at me, then at the glass shards scattered across the kitchen. "Now look what you've done!" he shouted, but something about it was off – he seemed withdrawn – like for once he wasn't enjoying my degradation.

He left the kitchen with a simple "clean up" and I listened to his footsteps disappearing as he went upstairs. This was confusing – the smashed glass, yet more proof of my incompetence would have usually sent him into a frenzy.

I shook my head and ignored the throbbing feeling as I crawled across the floor to the cupboard and got out the dustpan and brush and began to clean up the mess id made.

After I finished in the kitchen I made my way into the hall to begin the other housework tasks.. As I walked past the huge mirror that hung in the hall, I caught a glimpse of myself. I did a double take and stepped back one foot so I could take a proper look at myself.

For the first time, he had made a mistake.

My face was sore and as I inspected my reflection I could see a bruise forming around my eye. I was tentative as I inspected the area with my fingertips.

"Don't go out the house until its gone"

I jumped when I saw his reflection behind my shoulder. I simply nodded.

I could tell he knew his mistake – he had a glowing reputation in this town and the last thing he needed was it being tainted by this.

"I'm going out with the boys, make sure it's clean around here when I get back" and with that, he left.

The phone rang, stirring me from my thoughts.

"Hi stranger, how are you?" the friendly voice greeted.

I smiled. "Peachy. How are you?"

"Oh you know the usual" she chimed. I gave a short laugh. "Common then, tell all Alice. Got a new handbag?" I joked.

"I did actually. In Paris, it was Lovely"

"Ah yes, Paris. So, how was it?"

"Oh it was wonderful! Jasper took me shopping, we went to restaurants….."

I sighed and wished maybe one day Edward would do that for me again. He had been so romantic…..

"I got engaged, I did more shopping….."

"Hold on! You got engaged?"

If it were possible, I could hear her smile. "Cozy little French café. It was beautiful. So poetic" she gushed.

"Jasper….. really" I smirked. I knew she could tell.

"So anyway, we're having an engagement party soon. Consider yourself and Edward invited" she said, choosing to ignore me.

"Erm, sure, thanks" I mumbled, not sure if Edward would allow me that opportunity.

"So anyway, a coffee house talk is needed" she stated.

"How does next week sound, I'm really busy" I lied, knowing that by the time next week came, my bruise would have disappeared, or I could at least cover it up with some make up.

"Sounds fantastic, I'll ring you next week. See you later!"

I sighed and smiled as I replaced the receiver. Alice was my only friend, someone I could count on to make me smile. She was the only person who knew me.

Well, the only thing she didn't know was about Edward. She was his friend too, and had the same impression of him as the rest of the town. That was one of the reasons Edward allowed my friendship with her.

I looked up at the clock and realized that Edward would soon be home and I best make a start on dinner. I headed to the fridge, but scanning through it, I realized I was a few ingredients short. I looked at the clock and did the mental math – if I was quick, I had just enough time to change my top, making my appearance casual so not to embarrass Edward should someone mention to him they saw me, drive to the store 15 minutes away, quickly grab my items and be back in time to start preparing, and his dinner would still be on time.

So I quickly dashed to my closet and pulled out a jumper, pulling it over as I went down the stairs. Dangerous, I know, given my clumsiness. I pulled my boots on and grabbed my keys, swiftly headed out.

When I pulled up I quickly jumped out, leaving my sunglasses on, and jogged in. I snatched up a basket and headed to the veggies.

I grabbed up what I need and whipped round, rushing as I always was. My basket crashed against another, the sound quite loud causing me to drop mine and the contents to spill.

I ducked down quickly, repeatedly mumbling an apology. As I gathered my few items I saw a shinny pair of black leather shoes not far from my face. But then the owner's knees were almost in my face as they bent down, and I saw a pale hand outstretch to a far off item, collecting it for me.

I took the item from him – I could tell it was a male by the look of his big, thin hands – and thanked him for his help.

"No problem Miss Swan" he said in a voice that was familiar to me, if just a little.

I decided to face my helper.

"Good evening Dr Cullen" I smiled politely. He smiled back but I could see him studying…..

My eye! Id completely forgotten!

I had my sunglasses on, but some was still visible to the top at my brow and to the side.

I guessed that after my visit to the ER and now what he obviously saw with his trained eye, he had come to his own conclusions, and he would be correct.

I cleared my throat and ruffled my hair so some fell over my hair.

"How are you keeping?" he asked, folding his now empty hands across his front.

"I'm well, thank you. How are you?"

I sounded so formal, but my parents – and Edward – had always told me to be polite.

"I am very well thank you" he smiled. As he said this I looked over his shoulder at the large clock on the back wall. I was wasting time. And Edward's words rattled my ears

"_Don't make yourself an annoyance and stay away"_

I stiffened a little. "I'm sorry Dr. Cullen, but I must hurry. Dinner won't cook itself".

I tried to make it sound like a joke, but I was imagining Edwards reaction if dinner wasn't ready.

He chuckled lightly. "I'll let the chef get on then" and with a quick goodbye I dashed to the checkout.

As I got in my car I noticed him leaving the store with his bags in his arms. I watched him as he went over to his black Mercedes (Model numbers meant nothing to me) and placed his bags in the boot. As he shut the boot he turned in my general direction and smiled.

I quickly dipped my head down and started the engine, getting home as fast as I could.

Please review x


	3. Chapter 3

_Hola!_

Again a big thank you to everyone who has reviewed, set it to faves etc. You've made me very happy!

Still cant believe so many people are interested in my story!

As requested, i'm going to clear up two things.

1 Carlisle suspects what is going on, but he cant really do anything unless Bella will Admit whats happening. And Bella's in no position to do that right now. Carlisle will, and i quote, "Grow a pair" :)

2 Nobody is related.

Carlisle is the only Cullen. I'm going back to the names they had before, so Edward is Masen, Alice is Brandon, Jasper is Whitlock etc...

If anyone has any more questions, i'll be happy to answer providing it doesnt give anything away!

So, here's Chapter 3! Enjoy!

Lots of Love to my Beta, Pumpkin (Kale.1987)

She too writes some good Carlisle/Bella stories - she inspires me! So check her out and her stories, especially Lead us not into temptation!

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**Chapter 3**

For the past week, Edward had barely touched me.

It was my fault he had hurt me. I had backed him into a corner – he had to retaliate.

I had spent the past week trying to make amends with him over the incident and so far it seemed to be working.

I flopped onto the couch, tired.

I saw out the corner of my eye as Edward watched me. The way he stared at me like that made me feel uncomfortable sometimes. I knew what he wanted.

"Come sit here" he suggested, patting the seat next to him. I looked at him for a second, but his request seemed genuine so I scooted down to him.

"Terrible day at work" he said, still looking at the television as he spoke.

"Do you… want to talk about it?" I asked shyly.

The corners of his mouth pulled up into a wicked smile. "No I don't. I want you to make me feel better"

I wasn't quite sure how he wanted me to do this. Whenever he requested I make him 'feel better', what I did to try and achieve this depended on his mood.

I decided I would start with a back massage, to see if I could relieve some stress.

I got up and moved around the sofa, then timidly turned his body so his back was to me, and he could still watch the news.

I began to gently rub his fingers with my finger tips. He rolled his neck around and groaned slightly, so I took this as permission to continue.

I worked up and down his back with my fingers. Pretty soon though it was apparent he was bored of this and that he obviously had something else in mind.

I worked back up to his shoulders then glided my hands to the front of his chest.

I slowly undid the buttons of his shirt and worked my hands under them.

"Isabella…" he said in a stern tone, and I knew he was asking me to hurry.

I moved from behind him and pushed him back a little.

Crouching down in front of him, I unzipped his trousers.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine anything but what I was doing to him.

I was shy when it came to sex. I was a virgin before I met Edward. I had always been shy during sex, and pretty much just followed Edward's lead. He showed me how to make him feel good, and that was all there was to it.

I also knew that by satisfying him, he would be in a better mood with me as long as I didn't screw up.

I could hear his groans, his mumbles and I knew I was doing it right.

Soon he pulled me up and I moved so he could stand behind me.

I crawled on my hands and knees to lean over the couch and Edward told me to take my clothes off as he stroked himself.

When I had, he thrust into me hard.

"Fuck yes! That's good isn't it" he grunted. I nodded, even though it didn't – not to me anyway.

It was rough and it hurt.

Soon enough he was finished and he zipped himself up. He threw my pants at me and told me to 'clean myself up' whilst he took a shower.

That night we went to bed with no arguments, so, as we lay there, I decided to bring up my meeting with Alice.

"Why does she want to meet you?" he asked.

"We haven't spoken in so long Edward. She wants to catch up" I whispered.

He sighed and agreed. "you can tell her we will be going to this engagement party, so take my card and get yourself something nice to wear. Don't make an embarrassment out of me and make sure you pass along my congratulations"

"Thank you" I whispered before he turned onto his side and away from me.

Alice had texted me with a meeting place, and as usual, she was running famously late.

I sat in the window seat of the coffee house and kept a look out for her.

I only turned away when I heard some body clear their throat.

I turned and looked up to see Dr. Cullen. _Again_.

He seemed to be everywhere I went!

"Well hello Miss Swan. Sorry to disturb you, but do you mind if I sit here and wait for my drink? Its been a long shift"

I nodded and watched him as he lowered himself into the seat. He really did look tired. He must have been working nights. The hospital wasn't far from here.

I returned to gazing out the window, but he struck up conversation.

"How have you been then?"

his smile was friendly. It was like he wasn't asking me as a doctor, but as someone who was interested in my wellbeing on a personal level.

I nodded. "Very well thank you. How are you keeping?"

He smiled. "As I say, long shift! No more accidents then?" he asked, his eyes watching for how I would deliver my response, I forced out a laugh.

"I am amazed at myself"

He too laughed and I felt myself ease slightly.

"Sorry, are you waiting for someone?" he asked as I glanced out the window and checked my phone.

"Yes. And she's late as usual!"

He chuckled before jumping up with a "Well this is me"

He sat back down and took a sip before his next question.

"So, are you shopping today?"

It confused me as to why he was taking an interest in MY day.

Nobody but Edward had ever taken an interest in me like that. Not even back in the day….

"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry" he said, taking my silence the wrong way.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so rude. Urm – shopping. Yes. My friends Alice and Jasper just got engaged, and I need something for the party" I said, smiling.

Just then, Alice shot through the door and hurried over to our table. "Sorry I'm late!" she said as she unwrapped her scarf while taking the time to give my table companion a once over.

"My apologies, I don't think I've had the pleasure of being introduced to you" she smiled as she looked at him.

I rolled my eyes. She was such a flirt. He stood up and offered her his hand. "I'm Carlisle Cullen, Dr" he introduced.

"Alice" she replied.

He chuckled slightly and picked his drink up, clearing the way for Alice. "Well ladies, I shall leave you to your day. Take care" he said, looking towards me at the end.

"Thank you" myself and Alice said in unison.

When he was safely out of the building, Alice turned to look at me with her eyebrow raised.

"you kept him quiet" she said, laughing.

"Alice! He's my Doctor, that's all!" I mumbled.

"Hm, well, we'll talk about that later. Lets get shopping!" she said, taking my hand and dragging me outside.

Review please x


	4. Chapter 4

Discaimer: I dont own Twilight, sometimes i wish i did though...

A/N: Thank you all for your reviews and alerts etc. Makes me feel warm inside :)

I should start updating more often, but i had some writers block, so me and my lovely beta, Kale1987 had a 'meeting'.

im now refreshed with idea's so i'll get onto it!

Thank you all again :)

And please just bare with me, the story will all start to reveal soon

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Chapter 4

Alice had really shopped me until I almost dropped. Whilst we caught up, she had also questioned me about Dr. Cullen. I don't know what she expected me to say to her – he was my Dr – that's about as far as it went. I didn't even know anything about him personally. Judging by the look on Alice's face – she wore her "Well I know" kind of smirk – she had been listening to the gossip again.

Alice didn't gossip about others, but she knew everything. She was… a listener.

"He and his wife moved here from Seattle. Nobody really knows why. He had a job just as good and a nice house, very well respected. Then one day, they just left and moved here. Nobody has really spoken to her, but they gather she plays perfect house wife. No children" she added, wiggling her eye brows at me.

I felt a little uncomfortable talking about him like this. But I was also intrigued. I wanted to know more about him. Alice couldn't provide that information though.

And so I was left wondering about him. And also left wondering _why_ I was wondering about him.

I was being silly. It was none of my business.

When I got home Edward was just parking up in the drive. He grabbed his suit jacket from the passenger seat and hit the fob locking the car on his way towards me. "Here, let me help" he said, taking one of the grocery bags from me. I stood still for a moment, before following him into the house.

Edward had gone straight upstairs and I could hear him showering as I unpacked the bags.

He wasn't in for long though, before he soon came down in a fresh shirt and pants, his hair still a little wet. I smiled at him and he smiled back…. I hadn't seen that smile for some time. It knocked me back a little.

"Why don't you leave dinner tonight. We'll go out"

"Really?" I whispered. Me and Edward hadn't had a 'date night' since we had moved in together.

"Yes. Go get ready, and be quick, it's getting late" he said, and I hurried up the stairs.

I slipped into a black dress that went past my knee and some dark blue heels. Edward nodded his approval of my outfit and we headed out to the car.

Edward had brought us to a new Mexican restaurant just outside of town. I wondered if maybe he was trying to be romantic, remembering our holiday to Mexico when we first met.

I smiled as he led me inside.

It was busy, but we didn't have a problem getting a table. When we were seated we ordered some drinks and looked at the menu. We both ended up ordering the Enchilada's.

As we were waiting we barely spoke. Edward asked me about my day, but he was looking at his phone. I told him about the new dress hanging up in the wardrobe at home and all I really got was a mumble.

I shook it off and looked round the restaurant at the décor. My eyes passed over a familiar face as I looked round and I sighed.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, using a bit of a harsh tone.

"Nothing" I mumbled shyly. Just then Edward spotted the same person I did and he smiled. "Look Isabella, its Rosalie and Emmett" and he nodded toward them as Rosalie smiled at him. Soon Emmett was gesturing him over, and he left me at the table alone.

I watched them talking for a few minutes before I started to scan the room again.

About two tables away from us, I spotted the Doctor again.

He too spotted me because he smiled that new, warm smile. I figured even though he was out of work and didn't really have to bother, he was being polite, so I smiled back.

As I continued to watch, he lowered his head and took a bite of his Fajita, and as he did, some of the juices ran onto his bottom lip and down his chin slightly. I watched as he swept his tongue across his lip to try catch some of the juices before using a napkin.

I watched him as he turned to his wife, and she said something, her hands gesturing in my general direction. He said something softly to her before sitting back and rubbing his forehead. Not wanting to be rude, I looked away.

"Like him do you?" Edward asked, making me jump.

"No" I mumbled quickly. He shook his head and sat down again as the waiter placed dinner in front of us.

After that we were quiet. Out the corner of my eye I could see him looking round the room then back down to his food.

I was waiting by the door for Edward as he paid our bill and talked to the restaurant owner.

"Evening" I heard a voice say from behind me, and I span round.

"Good evening" I smiled, but I nervously glanced at Edward. Thankfully he wasn't watching.

"What's wrong?" Dr Cullen asked. I shook my head, but as I looked up into his eyes, I could see – concern?

"Edward's not keen on me talking to other people"

Dr. Cullen's eyebrow raised and I wanted to cover my mouth and take back what id said.

"What I meant was, he gets – jealous, of me talking to other men. You know what it s like" I smiled, hoping I'd convinced him.

"Really? And what does Edward do if you talk to other 'men?'" he asked.

His question was gentle, but I could still hear the accusation.

I glanced round again as I wrapped my arms tightly across my chest, and my breathing quickened at the sight of Edward now walking over, his eyes on Dr. Cullen.

"Please, I didn't…" I whispered, but I trailed off as I heard Edward's footsteps behind me.

"Good evening, you must be Isabella's…." Dr Cullen started, extending a hand for Edward to shake. I turned my head to look at Edward. At first he hesitated, but then he smiled and took his hand, shaking it hard.

"Fiancé" Edward filled in, and I watched Dr Cullen nod.

"Come on then Isabella, its time we were going" Edward said, taking my hand.

I nodded and began to follow.

"I'll check up on you soon" Dr Cullen said, and Edward stopped still.

I thought he would shout at him, start something. But then I remembered Edward's reputation. He was in a busy restaurant. He wouldn't do anything.

_Here anyway_

His lips twitched into a wicked smile before he continued out the door, now pulling me along the car park.

The journey home was quiet. I knew what this meant for me.

I begged him to stop as he kicked me hard in the rib cage one final time.

I was struggling to breathe as he spat in my face.

"What did I tell you about talking to that Doctor? Now look what you've done! If I hear you've been in that hospital or anywhere near him, so help me….." he shouted as he left the room.

I crawled to the corner using one arm to support me as the other snaked round my ribs.

I sat in a corner as I heard him come down the stairs. I willed the tears to stay back, and when one slipped, I furiously wiped it away before he could see.

He came back into the living area and looked up. He laughed as he did his cufflinks on his shirt. "Bloody things. It's like shagging a mouse" he said before his eyes rested on me.

"Look at you – you're pathetic."

I could feel myself shaking and I had to close my eyes so he could see the pool that was forming in my eyes.

"I'm going out. Don't bother waiting up" he said as he left.

I don't know how long I sat there, but the light was just coming up outside when Edward came home. He didn't look in to see me; he just went upstairs, had a shower and came back down again. I heard him grab his case and some keys, take the phone charger and leave again.

I was still sat with my knees held to my chest by my tightly wrapped arms around them, shaking as I had been all night as the tears silently fell.

I heard my phone ring, and it brought me out my coma like state. I crawled to where it was and answered it.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Alice asked me in a panic.

"I erm, fell down the stairs" I lied.

"Are you ok? I'm coming over" she said, before I could answer and she hung up.

Alice was soon at the door, and she let herself in.

She ran over and helped me up, automatically leading me to her car. We sat in silence for the drive but I could see her making quick glances my way.

Alice didn't ask any more questions and I appreciated that.

"I'll go get you something to drink" she smiled as she left the room.

I waited for my Doctor to come and my head turned to the door every time I heard footsteps. Finally the door creaked open. Doctor Cullen stepped inside and smiled.

"Good morning miss swan, what can I do for you today?"

I smiled back shyly. "I tripped. I think I've hurt my ribs" I told him.

He looked over at me and nodded slightly.

"Is it okay if I look?" he asked and I nodded, lying myself back. He lifted up my shirt and carefully looked. I turned my head away from his direction and looked at the wall.

"I want to get you into x ray have a look, but I think you might have broken some. Someone will take you down shortly and I'll see you with the results soon" he stood back, wrote something on my notes and turned.

I was just pulling my top down when he turned back around.

I watched as his eyes scanned over my body, focusing on the bruising that had formed.

Just then the door opened again and Alice entered holding two cups.

"Oh I'm sorry, should I come back?" she asked, wavering at the door.

Dr Cullen smiled and turned to her saying that it was fine, he was leaving and sorting out my xray. "Nice. Dr dishy today then" she said with a smirk after he closed the door behind himself. I held my hand out and she laughed as she gave me my drink.

When Dr Cullen returned as he promised a while later, Alice slipped out of the room with a smirk leaving me alone with him.

"Well, you have two broken ribs. There aren't any splinters from the break so I'll just get you taped up and you can be on your way" he said with a smile. I nodded and lied back for him again, lifting up my top.

"I hope I didn't upset Edward last night" he said as he worked.

He looked up when I didn't respond. I tried to smile, but I guessed he saw through it.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" he asked. He had stopped working now and was staring deeply into my eyes.

_Yes_

"No" I answered quietly. He let out a loud breath and continued with his work.

"So, how are things for you?" he asked.

I had this overwhelming urge to tell him everything. But I knew better than to speak out of turn.

"Okay I suppose" I said in that same quiet voice.

"Well, I'm always available for you to talk to, at any time if you need me" he told me.

I found myself smiling, feeling warm.

"Thank you Dr. Cullen" I said to him as I sat up carefully and pulled my top down.

He smiled warmly at me as our eyes met.

I couldn't describe it, but I felt….. _safe._

"Right then, you need to take it softly. No strenuous work. I don't want to see you in here for a long time!" he chuckled.

I smiled and got up, heading to the door.

I quickly turned around and he looked up to me.

"Dr Cullen, could i…. ask something of you?" I asked him cautiously.

I wasn't sure how to approach somebody I barely knew to ask a favor of them. But he smiled and nodded. "Certainly" he said, now paying more attention to me.

"Could you not mention my visit here? It's just, if Edward found out…." I trailed off, sensing I was saying too much.

But that warm smile was still in place. "If you wish me not to, then I will respect that request" he replied.

"Thank you" I whispered before I quickly left, grabbing Alice on the way.

As we sat in the car, I thought about the time I had just spent with Dr Cullen.

It was hard for me to come to terms with the fact that he was willing to do that for me. Surely people only did that for people they liked?

As much I didn't believe it would be true, I couldn't help but feel that he was genuinely concerned. I felt he knew my secret, and he was doing me a favor keeping it a secret. He was somebody I could….. trust And that was a big deal for me. I only ever had Edward and Alice, and nobody else was to be trusted.

For the first time in years, i felt inspiration. And I knew just what I could do with that.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight or the characters etc...

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews and alerts etc. Im so amazed so many people actually like my story!

Im sorry to those that Dont like my abusive Edward, but i wanted to explore a dark Edward. So here he is!

Things are going to start getting more interesting now, so stay tuned and watch this space!

Again, thank you so much!

Oh and if you want to hear me moan alot and talk alot about Peter Facinelli and Jackson Rathbone, you can follow me on Twitter - fionarhiannon

Just let me know who you are in an and i'll follow back!

* * *

Chapter 5

My fingers worked quickly over the keys of the laptop I had open in front of me. The words were coming easily to me, better than they had done for years, and I paused only to take a quick sip of my coffee.

It had been years since I had last wrote anything like this, and it felt good.

Just then there was a knock at the door and it made me jump slightly.

As I walked out of the kitchen and down the hall I wondered if it was the same rep from earlier still trying to sell me something. But as I opened the door Dr Cullen looked up and smiled.

I took in a sharp breath and found myself checking the street.

When I saw all seemed to be clear I smiled at him. "Good afternoon Dr Cullen, and to what do I owe this pleasure?"

He smiled this now familiar, warm smile at me and greeted me. "Good afternoon Miss Swan. I was just passing and thought I would check on you"

I frowned for a second, wondering why he would possibly want to check up on me. I knew which part of town he lived in, and this was not on his way.

The expression he wore told me he was worried about what he just said, so I resumed my smile.

"I'm sorry, where are my manners. Please, do come in" I invited. He smiled and dipped his head, stepping inside. Once he was behind me I quickly scanned the street again before closing the door and turning to him, motioning for him to go through the arch and into the living room.

He took his black jacket off and I took it from him, hanging it up on the end of the banister at the foot of the stairs.

"So, you're doing well then Miss Swan?" he asked as I took a seat on one of the arm chairs. He had turned his body to face me. "Yes thank you. I've been resting well" I assured him.

"Very good" he said smiling slightly.

We sat in silence for a moment. If that was all he wanted, why was he still here I wondered.

I watched his body language and the way his eyes looked round the room. He clearly had something else he wanted to say.

I glanced at the clock and he began his next sentence.

"So, how do you occupy yourself?" he asked pleasantly.

Nobody ever asked me personal questions like this, they were never interested – except Alice, but even then she had her limits.

I wasn't sure if to just be truthful.

I looked at him, sitting there and waiting for my reply patiently.

Dr Cullen had not once broken the trust I had put into him. He had always been kind and inviting, and I felt I owed him some respect.

"Well Dr Cullen…"

"Please, Call me Carlisle" he interrupted with a smile.

I nodded and continued. "Well, Carlisle, I'm…. a writer" I confessed.

I hadn't said I was a writer for years. Well, I had been out of work, so declaring myself as a writer seemed wrong.

"Really? And what kind of books do you write?" he asked.

I looked at him again, this time paying particular attention on his eyes.

His dark green eyes glittered with interest.

"Well….. I write romance novels" I admitted.

His mouth pulled up at the corner into a smirk and he chuckled slightly. This made me fall back slightly.

Did he find the concept of me writing a romance novel some what humorous?

I could probably deal with critics that hated what I did, but some body I had just put my trust into? It stung.

And I was trying to figure out why it would hurt so much to get this reaction from Carlisle when in truth - it was what I had originally expected.

But he must have sensed my feelings, because he smiled again. "Nothing I would have read then"

I laughed slightly. "No, I suppose not"

Had I over reacted? He was asking questions about my writing again and I noticed him glance at the book shelf.

Taking a big breath and every ounce of confidence I had, I got up and walked over, pulling my three books off the bottom shelf.

I walked over to him and handed them over, trying not to make eye contact.

As he took the books, our fingers touched briefly, and I couldn't help but gasp slightly

.

His fingers were so smooth, and I hated to admit to myself that I had liked that.

He looked at me for a second before placing the books in his lap and opening the top one, scanning through the pages.

"Can i… offer you a drink?" I asked him and he looked up.

"If it's no trouble"

"Not at all. Coffee?" I asked and he nodded. "Black, no sugar" he said as he turned back to the book.

I wandered into the kitchen and flicked the machine on. As the coffee brewed I lent against the counter and breathed heavily.

I was being silly. I hadn't felt anything. I was just shocked by the sudden contact. He had touched me many times before in the ER and I hadn't reacted the same way.

I shook my head and poured our drinks, ignoring my thought – just chalking my reaction to up to nervousness – it had been a long time since I had touched anyone but Edward.

When I went back into the living room he was intently reading a page of my second book.

I placed his drink on the table and sat down.

"Thank you" he smiled before turning the book towards me.

"This is good" he said as I glanced over at the book. I knew it by heart, after all, it was how I felt.

"I think you could turn me" he smirked.

I laughed and nodded. "I don't think I'm that good" I said into my drink before taking a sip.

"Why does the character suddenly change her mind about him?" he asked before sipping his own drink.

"Anyone can declare their love for someone by saying that they'll buy them all the diamonds in the world, catch them the moon or take them to some fancy love island. But the truth is it's not something girls can realistically expect.

He's promising her he'll do the little things that really mean something to her. It's not about grand gestures. It's about knowing he'll be there for her no matter what. It's not about saying you're going to do something; it's about actually doing it. And since an island isn't on the cards unless you're dating Johnny Depp, it's the little things that will make her happy"

Carlisle smiled at me, a bigger smile than I had ever seen, and I returned it.

I was beginning to feel comfortable in his presence. At ease. Myself.

He closed the book and looked at the back.

"These were published a while ago. Are you writing again?"

I shook my head then nodded too. He chuckled as I spoke. "I've had a severe case of what is known as 'writers block'. I haven't been able to take anything for it, so I've just had to wait it out, nurse it and hope it goes away soon like a bad cold."

He laughed again and our eyes met for a second before I coughed lightly and looked away. This was a new experience for me - I hadn't made anyone besides Alice laugh in quite some time and Edward and I never spent time together like this.

"So, tell me about yourself" Carlisle requested.

I let out a loud breath. "Well, I was born and raised mostly in Phoenix, but when my parents passed away after a car accident, I moved here to live with Alice. She was all I had left, and we've been best friends since we were babies."

"I'm sorry to hear about your parents. How long ago was that?"

"About 8 years ago"

There was a short silence before he continued.

"So, you moved here to be near Alice?"

I nodded. "She moved here when she and Jasper got serious. And since she's the only other person I had, I moved here"

"Is that when you met Edward?"

I nodded again. "He was friends with Alice and Jasper. We were at the Christmas Ball the town holds every year. He was a good dancer."

I didn't feel comfortable talking about Edward to him and I think he understood that because he didn't ask anything else about him.

After a while I wondered if I could be cheeky enough to ask Carlisle some questions.

"Do you mind…. Me asking about you?"

He smiled. "There isn't much to tell. My mother passed away giving birth to me, and I was raised by my father. I studied lots of different subjects before settling on Medicine"

"What made you settle with medicine?" I interrupted.

"I like helping people. It makes me happy"

I nodded and he continued.

"Then I met Esme, my wife. Since then things stayed pretty much the same until around a year ago"

I didn't want to ask the question, but I think he could tell what I wanted to know

.

"Esme….. had an affair. To be fair, I hadn't been much of a husband. We couldn't have children, and as a distraction I threw myself into work, doing as many hours at the hospital as I possibly could. I neglected her… needs, and she found somebody who offered her what I couldn't" he shrugged.

"We moved here for a fresh start, but I don't think its working. I'm almost sure she's still seeing him" he added.

I realized I was staring at him and I looked down at my mug before I looked up again.

"I'm sorry to hear that" I mumbled. How could somebody do that to someone as warm and kind as Carlisle?

He smiled and finished off his drink before glancing at his watch.

"Well, I must be off. I'm glad to see your doing well"

"Thank you. This afternoon was… nice" I told him hesitantly

I couldn't believe I just admitted that to him, but it was true. It was nice to talk to somebody.

I walked with him to the front door and as he stepped outside he turned back to me.

"Can I ask a favor of you?"

I nodded my head, frowning as I wondered what I could possibly do for him.

"Keep writing." He simply said and he took off down the steps and towards his car.

I closed the door slowly as I thought over his request.

Sitting back down at my laptop, I smiled at the encouragement.

With the smile still in place, I started typing again.

That night when Edward got home from work he was in a good mood.

"How about I help you with the food shop tonight?" he asked me when I mentioned popping to the store.

I nodded my head – surprised at his offer before quickly grabbing my jacket and following him out the door.

On the drive to the store he talked mostly about work, me just throwing the odd response in.

"You seem brighter recently" he surprised me with, and I quickly looked at him.

"I do?"

"Yeah. You're glowing. Are you pregnant?" he asked. I snorted. "I doubt it"

"Why? Why shouldn't we have a baby?" he asked.

I felt like I was being tricked into something. I had to answer carefully.

"I just…. Haven't missed. That's not to say…" I trailed off when he smiled.

"You'll have my child"

It sounded…. More like a threat, than the loving gesture I imagined it should be. But he was still smiling so I shrugged it off.

As we shopped I noticed him looking round, but I ignored it when I noticed somebody approaching us.

"Edward!" Emmett's voice boomed over to us. He shook Edwards hand before turning to me and smiling. "Isabella" he said with a slight nod of the head. I smiled back and continued to pick the vegetables whilst they talked.

"So, where's your wife?" Edward asked him as I placed them in the cart

.

"Oh she's somewhere in here" Emmett replied with a grin. They carried on for a while whilst I grabbed the fruit, before Edward dashed off around the corner.

"Hey, I was sorry to hear you couldn't make it to the office party the other week" Emmett said as he picked his own fruit.

I looked up confused.

"Partners weren't allowed" I answered.

"Well, I was there…" he said, slowly trailing off, his face going slightly red.

"But Edward said…"

Something just wasn't right. I shook my head and was about to reply when Edward came back with Rosalie next to him, laughing about something.

I didn't say anything – I didn't dare. But something wasn't right. Was Edward so ashamed of me that he wouldn't take me with him – did I care?

On the way home we barely spoke as Edward listened to the news on the radio.

Why would he not want me there – was he hiding something from me? And why did I keep thinking about Carlisle and our conversation earlier?

'_It's because you like the fact that for one you actually had a conversation about you'_ my mind whispered. And that was true – I wondered if I asked him he could give me some advice about Edward and his hiding things from me?

But if I did that I would also be risking him finding out about other things I didn't want him to know and what happened if Edward found out I had been talking about him?

I had to decide if I was willing to risk paying the price of having a friend in Carlisle or if it was just too much for me.

Reviews are like Peter Facinelli's smile... amazing and beautiful :)


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: i don't own Twilight or the Characters - All credit goes to SM. Apart from the story line. I take credit for that

A/N : Hello readers!

Sorry its been a little while - apparently my Beta has a life... I'm joking, i Love you Princess! You are part of my creative inspiration!

*Round of applause for Kale.1987* (You should check her out - she has some brilliant stories)

Anyway... Thank you all so much for your reveiws! It keeps me going and makes me feel this was all worth it - i was abit nervous about writing a B/C, but its been recieved well, so Many many thanks!

I hope you enjoy this chapter. Im currently about half way through Chapter 7, and although i've been writing it the old fashioned way, i believe i may get it typed up either tonight or Tomorrow, then off to the Beta... so you might not have to wait so long!

So, normal proceedure applies - Read, please enjoy, and review if you like!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Over the next week I was doing as Carlisle had requested, and I was writing again.

It seemed I had my creative flair back, but I was worried Edward would find out. I wondered what he'd do if he found it and read it.

I had also been busy helping Alice with her up coming engagement party, and tonight was finally the night.

If this party was anything to go by, the wedding would be something to perhaps rival celebrities. Alice had a way with making it just about Family and close friends, yet still so elegant and grand – it was to be mini but mighty.

As Edward and I got ready, it was like a frigid dance around the bedroom. The way we moved and organized things meant we were never in each others way.

I was ready by 6.30pm – Wearing the new dress Edward had requested I buy. It was my usual black and had a very low v neck that ended in-between my breast. The skirt stopped just above the knee and I wore the same dark blue shoes from before. Just the way Edward liked it.

I grabbed my clutch and filled it with what I would need – phone, lip balm, gum…. And headed downstairs where Edward waited for me.

He smiled slightly as I grabbed my shawl and we headed out the door.

Once again the drive consisted of topics like work and I threw in responses.

I guess there wasn't really anything I could talk about without giving myself away to him, so I stayed quiet.

The party was buzzing, and most of the town that Alice and Jasper knew had turned out.

She had hired a local bar for the evening and done wonders with the decoration. She kept it simple and pretty – white ribbon and table cloths, her favorite flowers scattered around the room, little twinkle lights hanging from the ceiling. It was beautiful.

Alice and Jasper stood together, his arm wrapped round her waist, as they greeted their guests. As Edward and I stood waiting for our turn he had lightly placed his hand to rest on the top of my back, and was looking around the room.

I tried to follow his eyes but found nothing.

I hugged Alice as Jasper and Edward shook hands before we swapped – me hugging Jasper and Edward hugging Alice as we offered our congratulations. We chatted for a brief moment before Alice promised to find me first and we moved on.

Edward left me at a table as he went to get us drinks and soon Alice joined me.

"Are you ok?" she asked as I looked around the room again.

"Hm, yeah I'm fine" I mumbled. I saw Alice smirk.

"The handsome Doctor is here. He was the last one I greeted"

I turned to look at her – why was I - happy - about this?

"Oh. I was actually looking for Edward" I said, still not able to find him.

"He's there" Alice said, and she nodded behind me. I turned around to look and sure enough Edward was strolling over with two drinks.

I suddenly felt awful. I'd suspected him, and it was nothing.

Jasper joined us then with a drink for him and Alice, we all chatted and it felt like old times again. It had been a while since we had all been together like this. I couldn't help but look round and wonder where the years had gone. Everything had changed so much, and nobody seemed to have noticed.

There was a polite interrupting cough and we turned to find Rosalie Hale standing there.

"Sorry to bother you, I was just wondering if anyone had seen Emmett." She asked.

We shook our heads and she glanced around the room.

"Ok thank you. Sorry, but do you mind if I borrow Edward? Something didn't get finished at the office and it'll be my head on the chopping board if it's not done!" she said.

Everyone smiled and nodded, including myself and they left out the front door together.

"Bella are you sure your ok? You've been quiet" Alice said frowning towards me. I sighed.

"Honestly I'm fine! Stop worrying about me and go… dance with jasper!" I laughed. Alice gave me one more glare until I nodded my approval and she and Jasper disappeared onto the already busy dance floor.

"Have you been writing much?" I heard Carlisle say from behind me, and I spun around to find him standing there with his hands in his pockets, smiling at me.

"I have actually" I replied and he moved around the table to sit down.

I found myself relaxing into the chair as we struck up conversation, and it flowed naturally between us as we laughed and spoke about the party.

"So. Will I get to see some of this new material Miss Swan?"

It made me blush slightly that he kept calling me Miss Swan.

"Please Carlisle, Call me Bella"

He nodded and smiled. "I don't know. Maybe you will" I smiled.

Just then someone stood behind Carlisle, her hand running up his arm and resting on his shoulder.

"Carlisle, I think I'm going to head home" She smiled. Carlisle began to stand but she waved him off. "I'll catch a lift, you stay and…. Socialize" she said, her eyes resting on me.

I felt uncomfortable now, and was suddenly very aware Edward could be watching us. Watching _This_.

"Esme Cullen, Carlisle's Wife" she introduced kindly, leaning over the table with her hand outstretched. She was a very petite woman with golden brown hair and a pretty face.

"Bella Swan" I replied, shaking it.

Esme looked back to Carlisle and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"I'll see you later" she told him and she was gone.

Carlisle sighed and turned back to me.

"Are you ok?" I asked him.

He seemed to hesitate, so I continued

"Carlisle, it can work both ways. If you need to talk…."

I was leaning over the table towards him. He smiled.

"I over heard her on the phone to him the other night. She's still having an affair" he told me quietly.

"Carlisle I'm sorry. How could someone do that to you?"

I quickly covered my mouth. _Did I really just say that out loud?_

I had let my guard down. What was it about Carlisle that made me feel so comfortable, and yet in some ways so vulnerable?

He was smiling at me, so I smiled back. "I'm sorry" I mumbled, but he waved it off.

I could feel my cheeks burning, so I took a sip of my drink and looked around the room.

That was when I saw them.

I watched as Edward held his hand out for her and she took it, him leading her into the room, supporting her as she trotted in on her very high heels.

They were smiling and talking, very close to one another, their body language screaming at me.

They were more than just friends.

I felt betrayed. I wasn't good enough for him – I was never good enough, no matter how hard I tried. _Bastard_.

"Bella? What's wrong?" Carlisle was asking me, his hand lightly placed on where mine rested on the table. I didn't say anything and out the corner of my eye I saw him follow my gaze.

Then he spotted them, and understanding spread across his face.

He gave my hand one light squeeze and got up coming to stand behind me.

He dug around his pocket for a moment before lowering his lips to my ear.

"Here's my number if you need me for _ANYTHING_" he whispered, emphasizing the last word.

I just nodded numbly and he left, leaving me feeling more alone than I'd ever felt.

I continued to watch them as Edward danced with her, spinning her around playfully.

I fought back the tears as I watched their very public display of affection. But nobody could see it but me apparently. They were too wrapped up in their own partners and some of the elder's of the town assumed they were just being friendly. But I now knew exactly what they were.

When the song finished Edward pulled her close and placed a tender kiss on her cheek, before letting go of her hand. She walked off, and Edward stared lovingly after her.

_Lovingly__.._

He straightened up when she was out of sight and turned towards the table. I quickly looked away and blinked back the tears that threatened to spill.

Edward sat down at the table.

"What's wrong with you?" he sighed and he took a sip of his drink.

"I er… I don't feel well" I lied.

He eyed me suspiciously, and then leaned over the table.

"Are you sure your not pregnant?" he asked, placing a hand on my flat empty stomach.

Now I really did feel sick.

Edward had done many things to me, and I understood why he did them. But this…. This – repulsed me.

"Edward I'm sure. Please, can I just get a cab and go home?" I asked.

He moved back and glared at me. "And what about Alice's party? Bella you're her maid of honor, and your skipping out on her party?"

He was trying to make me feel guilty, but it wouldn't work. He wouldn't talk me down this time.

"Edward please, I don't want to ruin the party by being ill"

He thought about this and seemed to process that I could embarrass him. "Fine, go home. Here" he bit, pulling his wallet out and handing me some money. "Go explain to Alice, and you make sure you apologize" he snapped before picking up his drink and leaving me.

I wove my way through the crowd until I found Alice and Jasper, dancing together and talking.

"Bella!" Alice said, pulling away from him a little.

"Alice I'm sorry, but I've got to bail. I'm not feeling well and I don't want to ruin your night"

Just then Edward came up behind her, his face plastered with a dark grin.

"Edward are you taking her home?" Alice asked.

"Oh no, I'll be fine. I want Edward to stay and enjoy himself" I said, faking a smile.

"Are you sure you'll be ok?" Alice asked me.

"Alice I'll be fine. I'll call you tomorrow ok. Congratulations" I said, hugging her tightly.

She had no idea, but I really needed that hug.

I turned to Jasper and smiled. "Congratulations Jazz" I said, hugging him too, before whispering a small goodbye. As I turned to leave, Edward asked Alice for a dance so Jasper offered to walk me outside and wait until I got a cab.

We stood in silence for a little while.

Jasper was not a man of very many words. Which I suppose is why he and Alice worked well, because she could be a woman of lots.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He asked me and I nodded. I didn't dare speak incase my voice gave me away. Just then a Black Mercedes pulled up in front of us and the window rolled down.

"Are you going home Bella?" Carlisle asked. I nodded

"I could give you a lift if you want to?" he offered.

"She's not feeling well, maybe that's best" Jasper said, smiling.

Jasper opened the car door and hugged me one last time. "Get well soon Bella" he said sweetly and I got in the car, jasper shutting the door after me.

As we pulled away I felt the tears forming again.

Carlisle seemed to know what was really my problem. Cautiously raising his hand, he placed it on top of mine

We didn't speak, but he comforted me. Right then, I realized I was willing to risk it to be friends with Carlisle.

I had cried so hard that night I thought I was going to cough my heart up. Eventually I had fallen asleep, and I heard Edward come in at the very early hours of the morning.

But today was a new day, and I had a lot to be getting on with.

I left the house when Edward was still asleep and I drove into town. I pulled the list out of my bag again, checking what items I needed so I could time my way around the shops.

When I looked back in my bag I spotted my mobile phone. I picked it out, leaving the list in my bag and just looked at it for some time.

I had decided to risk it all to be friends with Carlisle, and, as a friend, he said I could call on him when I needed him. But was it fair to do so when he had similar problems to me?

Tapping my phone lightly on my hand I thought about it. Maybe, having a similar problem, we could both help each other through it.

My thumbs worked the key pad as I hovered over his number. Finally I hit the 'call' button and waited as it rang. I was about to give up when he answered.

"Hello?"

"Carlisle? It's…. Bella. Swan." I said, nervously biting down on my lip.

"Bella. How are you?"

"I …. I'm sorry if I bothered you, I just wondered if I could perhaps – talk to you?"

"You haven't bothered me. Of course you can. Do you want to meet?" he asked.

"Please" I whispered

"Ok, give me twenty minutes and I'll meet you in the café off main street" he said. I thanked him and hung up.

I threw my phone in my bag, grabbed the keys and got out the car.

Hitting the fob to lock it I wandered off into the first store.

I got my items and had about five minutes until I had to meet him, so I made my way to the café early, and grabbed us a good table.

When he came in, he didn't sit, instead going over to us order us a drink and then brought them over to the table and sat down smiling.

He pushed the coffee towards me and I thanked him before taking a sip.

"Thank you – for meeting me, and well, for last night"

"Its my pleasure. What would you like to talk about?" he asked, sipping his own drink.

"I just – it seems to silly, but…. Edward. Last night"

He nodded and sighed. "Have you had a chance to ask him about it? Maybe it was innocent?"

I shook my head. "He was asleep when I left. Carlisle, I know what I saw. I …."

Then it dawned on me.

All the nights he went out. The nights he wasn't back until the early hours. The office party I didn't attend. Edward had been having an affair –and for a long time.

Tears ran silently down my cheek again and Carlisle reached out to touch me.

"Its no mistake. He's been doing this for a while" I sniffed.

We sat in silence for a while before I wiped at the tears. "I'm sorry" I mumbled, taking a tissue out of my bag and wiping my face. "How… how are things for you?" I asked him.

"Bella…" he began in protest but I shook my head.

'Please. Talk to me" I begged. He looked deep into my eyes, and I saw the concern mixed with his own grief.

"She's still seeing him. Emmett, I think his name is"

My head shot up. "Emmett? As in, Rosalie Hale's Emmett?" I asked him.

He nodded and I found myself chuckling a little. Carlisle frowned.

"I'm sorry, but there's something twisted about the fact that Esme is seeing Emmett and my Edward is seeing his wife Rosalie"

Carlisle looked at me for a split second before chuckling too. "I guess there is"

I shook my head and wiped my face again, sighing. "So, what are you going to do?" I asked him.

"I'm not sure. I think there's only one option left. Our Marriage is over"

I reached out and took his hand. "I'm sorry" I told him again.

"You apologize a lot for things that are no fault of your own" he observed.

"I'm used to making mistakes, speaking out of turn…" I said, trailing off.

He seemed to think about something before he spoke. "Bella can I…. ask you something. Something that I know will be a sensitive subject"

My eye brows creased together but I nodded.

"When you first came to see me in the ER… those bruises…"

He had stopped, and he seemed to be trying to find a way to carefully ask me. But he didn't need to ask me the question. I knew exactly what it would be.

I dropped my head in shame, embarrassment.

Could I really, for the first time, not only admit to him, but to myself, the extent of my troubles with Edward?

I had never seen it that way, but I had seen it on Carlisle face. In his eyes. His expression. His worry.

My body seemed to ache as I came to terms with exactly what this meant.

But I knew absolutely that I could put my trust in Carlisle.

"Does Edward…. Hit you, Bella?"

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I couldn't find my voice.

I hadn't had one for years. I didn't know how to use it.

Carlisle rubbed his face and leaned in closer.

"If you can't say it, shall I take your silence as a yes?" he asked me gently.

I looked up, my eyes staring into his, hopefully conveying my confession.

Carlisle sat back and for the first time, he looked – angry.

"Wha – what do I do?" I asked him, fresh tears falling.

He sighed, leaning in again.

"Bella, that is up to you. I cant tell you what to do. But I can tell you that you in no way deserve this. Whatever Edward has told you has been lies. No woman deserves to be treated like this. Bella, please, do what is right for you. Before he goes too far"

I shook my head. "Edward is all I have. I have nowhere to go… Edward, I know he loves me. I know it. He just…" But Carlisle cut me off.

"No Bella, I'm sorry, but you cant justify his actions. Edward is in the wrong. Look at you – Your… I've seen a different side to you Bella. I've seen you when your with Alice and even – even when you spoke to me. You were, confident. Glowing. Happy. But I've seen you with Edward, I've seen how cautious you are, how you fall back and hide away. Bella, this isn't you, I know it isn't. You are a much better person than Edward tells you that you are, and you do have people. You have Alice."

I shook my head.

"Alice will understand, when you tell her. And she will be there for you. And so will Jasper. They are your friends Bella. And well…. I will be there for you"

I thought about what Carlisle was saying to me.

Could I do it? Could I really leave Edward and leave it all behind me?

I looked up to Carlisle. His eyes were pleading.

This would be the biggest decision of my life. Edward had been my life, the partner who had stuck with me. I didn't know if I could live without Edward there to guide me.

"I – I'm sorry" I said, and I got up, quickly leaving the café.

I ran to my car and locked myself safely inside.

As i pulled away I took one last look at the café, Carlisle looking out the window towards me with a look I could only describe as profound sadness on his face.

Driving home, everything Carlisle had said to me swam around in my head.

The big question I had to ask myself: _Was I strong enough?_

Reveiws are like Jackson Rathbone's smirk - sooo damn good!

x


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight or the characters...

A/N; Thank you all again for the reviews and story alerts. Makes me smile.

Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Shoutout goes to my beta Kale.1987 - Wifey, i love you, thank you for sticking with the story and being you :)

* * *

Chapter 7

When I got home I was more than slightly distressed at the situation. What the hell was I going to do about Edward?

He wasn't home and that helped me calm down some. I paced the living room thinking about what Carlisle had said, and in that moment I made a snap decision.

I ran up the stairs and into our bedroom, pulling a suitcase from the closet and I laid it open on the bed. Going back and forth across the room, I filled it with essentials. When I had enough to last me, I zipped it back up and sat on the end of the bed.

As I looked around the room I came across a photo frame on the wall, holding several photos from a Holiday we had taken years ago with Alice and Jasper. We were in Mexico, and I remembered partying nearly every night – Edward really was a good dancer.

One particular photo made me laugh and I remembered the moment well.

Me and Alice had been lounging by our private pool at the villa when Edward snuck up, spraying us with cold water from the hose. The laughter was evident on our faces and naturally, Jasper had been on hand to capture the moment.

In another photo, Edward and I were facing each other, our foreheads together, noses touching as we looked into each others eyes with adoring smiles. As I looked at that photo, I realized I hadn't seen that look from Edward in a long time. Where had that man gone? We used to be so happy.

I was so oblivious as to how much things had changed – I couldn't even pin point when exactly it began. I couldn't properly remember the first time Edward hit me. It was – normal to me now.

I sighed as I looked back at the case. Carlisle was right. And I was running out of Clichés to tell people, to tell Alice. "_I fell down the stairs_" "_I bumped into the door_"

I had to do what was best – and that was Leaving Edward.

"Bella? Where are you?" I heard Edward shout and I panicked as I hurried across the room to hide the case.

I only just managed to get it into the closet when Edward came in.

"I've been shouting you" he snapped, and he walked towards me. It felt like the case was the biggest thing in the room and he would surely notice it, but he walked past me and the case as he undid his shirt.

"Get ready – were going out for dinner" he said as he discarded his shirt and threw it into the laundry basket. My breath familiarly hitched in my chest as he entered the walk in, and stopped next to the case.

"Wh – why?" I stammered, my eyes darting between the case and Edward.

He pulled a clean shirt from a hanger and put it on. "Were going to that little Italian restaurant with Alice and Jasper" he said as he left, doing his cuffs up.

I frowned. "Alice never said anything"

"It was last minute – can you hurry up?" and he went into the en suite.

I checked he was out of sight and quickly pushed the case further into the closet before dressing in a skirt top combo I knew Edward liked.

When he was done in the bathroom I quickly brushed my hair and swept a light coat of mascara over my eye lashes.

When I got downstairs I saw him in the hall checking his wallet. I checked my bag one last time and headed out with him.

When we arrived Alice and Jasper were waiting outside for us and when we approached them, Alice linked arms with me.

"Feeling better?"

I nodded and she smiled. "Did Dr Cullen have anything to do with that?" she asked with a smirk.

My eyes were wide and I looked forward towards Edward.

"Jasper told me" she said winking/

"Alice please – don't tell Edward" I begged. She frowned for a moment. "Don't worry, we won't"

"Thanks" I whispered. As Edward and Jasper went in ahead of us, I held Alice back.

"Alice" I began, and she turned to me. I bit down on my bottom lip – I knew she would support me.

Alice was my oldest friend and had been there for me through so much. But was it really fair to tell her now? She had so much going on and was so happy, I didn't want to spoil that.

"I just – sorry, about last night" I said and she hugged me tight.

The evening had made me slightly indecisive. I knew I should follow through and leave him, but the way he acted with me right now… it made it hard.

I could see the Edward I had fallen in love with. And I didn't want to leave him behind.

We were just finishing our drinks when we heard shouting outside.

Edward had rose from his seat and was looking out the window like most of the other diners.

"Stay here" He mumbled before he left the table. When we heard a male voice argue back, Jasper got up and followed him, before returning a moment later.

"Its Rosalie and Emmett" he informed us.

_No wonder Edwards out there_

I stood up and threw my napkin onto the table before grabbing my bag and heading out.

They were stood in the car park, Rosalie shouting at Emmett, Edward stood in between them. I noticed someone was stood behind Emmett and that was where Rosalie's anger – and finger – were pointed at.

"_His name is Emmett"_

Carlisle's words echoed, and I remembered him telling me about Esme's Affair. "HOW DARE YOU?" Rosalie shouted, but Emmett just laughed.

"Your such a hypocrite! I know all about you and your little affair" he replied, and Rosalie fell back a little, closing her mouth, deciding not to continue with whatever she was going to say

.

"Exactly, so don't stand there pretending to be the better the person or the victim" he said, a little smugly.

Rosalie looked like she wanted to shout at Emmett, all her anger bubbling, but Edward turned to her, his hand on her arm.

"Rose, not now" he warned, and she glanced at me before sighing.

I flinched as some bright head lights shone over us. They cut out and I looked up to see Carlisle getting out of the car.

Esme looked shocked, but not as shocked as Carlisle himself.

He looked between us all, a sadness in his wise and wonderful eyes.

He wasn't here for this. He had no idea this confrontation was taking place. He hadn't come here to even confront Esme himself.

Esme was looking at Carlisle, Emmett and Edward were looking at Rosalie and Carlisle – he was looking at me.

Then, with the blink of my eye, the scene changed. Emmett was leading Esme away who kept glancing back at Carlisle, Edward had walked towards the Car with Rosalie and Carlisle was walking towards me.

We walked towards the restaurant, our bodies close.

"I'm sorry" I whispered. He chuckled lightly. "Now, now Bella, what have we said about apologizing?"

I stopped and turned to face him, Carlisle mirroring my actions. He looked deep into my eyes as I whispered his name. He nodded and closed his eyes taking in a deep breath through his nose.

"Bella" Edward called, pulling me away from Carlisle. "I'm taking Rose home. I think you should go home too" he said, looking between me and Carlisle.

I nodded timidly but before Edward could turn away, Carlisle spoke. "I'll take you home Bella"

Edward stared at him but then looked back to me. "Alice and Jasper can take you" he told me sharply and I flinched at his tone.

I heard Carlisle take in a breath as though he would say something, and out of Edward's sight, I lightly squeezed Carlisle's hand.

He looked down then back up at Edward, smiling politely.

"Let's get you to Alice" he said, and he led me inside.

Carlisle watched as Edward pulled away before walking over to us. "Alice, I'm going to take Bella home" he said, and Alice smiled. "Take care Bella. See you soon" she said hugging me tight, and I walked back out with Carlisle.

As we walked towards the car, Esme came to Carlisle's side. "Carlisle I – I don't know what to say"

He shook his head and smiled. "Then don't say anything. We'll talk about this another time"

And he opened the door for me.

We didn't speak until we pulled up outside the house. "Would you like a drink?" I asked him.

He smiled at me and nodded, "But just one" he added as he cut the engine and got out of the car and followed me towards the house.

We didn't talk about much as we drank. I suspected he maybe just wanted the company.

He had just the one coffee as promised before heading off, and I showed him out.

"Bella" he said, turning back around.

"Keep safe" he finished, and he turned and went, me watching until I couldn't see the car any more.

The scene at the restaurant had erased the entire list of pro's I had conjured as to why staying with Edward was a good thing.

I grabbed my phone and made my way to my bedroom, pulling out the suitcase before returning downstairs with it.

I scanned through the phone book, hovering over Alice's number. There was no getting out of telling her – she was all I had. I didn't want to ring Carlisle after the night he had.

I set my phone on the side to pack my laptop and some books, and as I zipped it up, I saw headlights flash through the window from the drive.

Had Carlisle forgotten something?

I panicked when I looked out the window and saw Edward practically jumping up the porch steps.

I rushed across the room and tried to push my suitcase under the dining room table.

"Bella?"

I turned round to see Edward staring at the two mugs.

"Oh you didn't" he said, and I thought I could pretty much see the anger building.

My breathing quickened, my heart hammering against my chest.

I'd completely forgotten about the mugs.

Edward was in front of me in four easy strides and he tightly gripped my arm.

"You better not have taken a lift from him" he spat. I simply trembled with fear.

"I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM HIM!" he yelled, hitting me in the face and sending me sprawling to the floor.

"Why can't you listen?" he continued, and I looked up at him. He kicked out at me anywhere he could – my legs, stomach, back.

He bent down and brought me towards him, our faces inches apart.

"Are you sleeping with him?" he asked. I quickly shook my head.

"LIAR!" he shouted in my face, before hitting me again and busting my lip.

"I'm not!" I whimpered, but he hit me again. I closed my eyes as I curled up on the floor. Images of Edward and Rosalie together swam in my tears.

It was the courage I needed.

I looked up at Edward, holding the tears back. "And what about you?" I said. His mouth opened then closed again. "I know about you and Rosalie" I bit back. He processed this for a minute before smirking. "And what are you going to do about it?" he asked. The question I was sure was rhetorical.

I looked to where my suitcase lay before quickly crawling to it. Before I got there he kicked me away like I was some vermin animal and I lost my balance, falling backwards and hitting my head on the wall.

I cried out in pain as he un zipped my case and tipped the contents on the floor. "You thought you could just leave me? Bella, your too weak and pathetic!" he sneered.

"NO!" I shouted back, his only response was to slap me.

I could feel the sting but now I was more determined than ever. I began to scramble around, ignoring my throbbing head and the urge to go to sleep, and gathering my things, but he kicked me again, my ribs weak and cracking under the pressure of his foot.

"Think you could just run off with the Doctor? How long do you give it until he gets bored of you? Till he realizes that your damaged goods?"

I curled into a ball as the pain engulfed my body. I prayed to the god I didn't really believe in. I was shaking, and I knew I was shouting. Shouting for help as Edward lay one final blow.

I could hear voices as my eyes fluttered open. Someone was touching me and I flinched from them.

"Bella, Its Carlisle. I've got you. Squeeze my hand if you can hear me"

I tried to squeeze my hand, and I felt him rub it.

"Bella, can you look at me?" he asked. I tried, but it was blurry and my face hurt. I shook my head and I felt him rub my hand again.

"It's ok Bella. I've got you. You're safe now"

"I need to get her scanned" Carlisle continued to somebody I didn't know. "Have they got him?"

"He's been arrested. I just can't believe it. Edward Masen. Who'd have thought…"

"Now isn't the time" Carlisle said harshly. I'd never heard Carlisle speak in such a tone.

I tried to open my eyes but the light hurt them. "Bella, I'm going to take you to hospital. You need a scan and some stitches"

I tried to squeeze his hand again, but it really was a feeble attempt. He squeezed mine though and then I was lifted up.

Carlisle's hand never left mine the entire time.

Reviews are welcome x


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: i dont own Twilight, Steph M does.

I DO however OWN this story. This was my creation. Please dont steal my story idea :)

A/N: Thanks for waiting guys, and for the reviews.

Bella finally did it!

This is just a short one to tie things up. i havent had proper access to my computer recently, the mouse and key board work temprementally! And i got totally distracted When Peter Facinelli Tweeted me again - it spurred me on to write my new story! *see below*

I am currently trying to work on Chapter 9. I have about half of it, so i'll hopefully get it finished and beta'd soon!

I'm working on something new,a Carlisle story (of course!) and might bring that to you all soon!

So here it is, chapter 8. Enjoy!

Shoutout as always to the ever lovely and talented Kale.1987, my wonderful Beta.

Please check out her story 'Lead us not into Temptation'. Its an amazing story :)

Love to you all x

* * *

**Chapter 8**

My eyes slowly blinked open adjusting to the light. My mouth was dry and I looked around the room. Judging by the white on white and the generic print on the wall…I was in hospital?

I tried to remember how I got here, but I couldn't quite picture it. What I could remember however was Edward and how angry he had been. Then I remembered voices and – Carlisle?

He smiled at me reassuringly from the seat at my bedside. "Would you like a drink?" he asked and I nodded, my neck feeling a little stiff.

He walked to the end of the bed and poured some water from the jug. When he handed it me with a straw, I panicked a little – how badly hurt was I?

I tried to speak, but the action felt harsh on my throat, so I took a sip.

It felt so good to have the cool water run down my throat, refreshing me. I cleared my throat and thanked him, my voice still a little croaky.

"Wha – what happened?" I stuttered.

Carlisle opened his mouth to speak but there was a knock at the door. Carlisle got up and opened the door and I heard him whisper hurriedly before turning to me. "The Police want to know if they can ask you a few questions"

I nodded and he turned back around, nodding just the once and stepping back to let them in.

Carlisle started doing my Obs and I was glad he was in the room – I needed someone there.

"Miss Swan, I'd like to formally ask you about last nights events. Anything you can tell us will be a great help" One officer said and I nodded.

"Can you remember how the evening started?"

I nodded and took a deep breath. "We had gone out for dinner with our friends. There – was an argument outside the restaurant between some people we knew, and he had gone out to them. Then he took her home…." I stopped when the officer smiled. "Just to go back a little, which friends were you at dinner with?"

"Alice Brandon and Jasper Whitlock"

He was writing away as I spoke, and I was nervous. I'd never spoken aloud about what Edward did to me.

"And who were the people having the argument?"

"Er, Rosalie Hale, Emmett – I actually don't know his name, but he's – was – Rosalie's partner, and Esme…" I trailed off in a whisper, glancing at Carlisle.

The officer looked to him. "Esme Cullen" Carlisle filled in, and I looked back.

"Were you there Dr Cullen?" they asked and he nodded. "I pulled up just as the argument had finished"

The officer nodded and turned back to me.

"I – Edward told me to go home, he was just taking Rosalie back, and Carlisle offered, but Edward said I had to go with Alice and Jasper. I went inside to them, but I got a lift with Carlisle anyway"

I wondered if Edward already knew that. For all he knew it could have been Alice's mug on the table.

They continued to scribble as I told them about Carlisle coming in for a drink, then leaving, and about how I had decided to leave Edward, so had gone to get my packed Case.

I realized most of this would be new information to Carlisle, and I kept glancing at him to see his reaction, but he remained still and never showed an ounce of emotion in his expression.

I supposed he was used to it at work.

They asked me about why I had decided to leave Edward, and so I had to tell them about everything. The physical, emotional and economic deprivation.

As I told them everything Carlisle's mask began to crack, and I turned to him.

"Do you want to leave?" I asked.

He shook his head and squeezed my hand. "I'm here for you" he told me and I nodded, before turning back to the police.

"So, he found you trying to leave?"

I nodded again and told them everything that had happened. I blushed when I mentioned Edward had accused me of an affair with Carlisle, and that was why he hit me.

"I'm sorry to ask but – are you?"

"No, not at all"

I continued until I couldn't remember.

"I was, fight back. Well, I was shouting at him. I – I think I hit my head. And then I don't remember. The next thing I knew, I could hear a voice. And then - nothing. Nothing till I woke up here"

He finished writing before he looked to me.

"That's great. Now Miss Swan, I need to ask, but do you want to press charges against Mr Masen?"

I thought about this, and what it would mean for me.

It would mean seeing him again. It would mean having to talk about this all over again. It would mean it would be even more public gossip, and I just couldn't handle being the centre of attention, especially for something like this.

"I – don't think I want to" I replied, and Carlisle turned to me. "Bella…" he said softly, and I looked round. "Carlisle, I just want him out of my life. I want him to stay away. I'm just not strong enough to fight this. I stood up for myself last night, and I've got out of the relationship alive – that's good enough for me"

But if I was honest, I was scared too.

I was scared of Edwards sneer, and his words continued to haunt me. I secretly feared the court wouldn't believe me.

Carlisle accepted this and the Police nodded and thanked me for my time before leaving.

I lay my head back and sighed. "Bella" Carlisle whispered, and I opened my eye to look at him. When I saw he was upset, I opened both and faced him, taking his hand.

"Carlisle what's wrong?"

"I'm so sorry about last night. I never should have left! I could have saved you"

But I cut him off.

"You have nothing to be sorry for! You were right – he would hurt me badly, and he did, but none of it is your fault. I should have left years ago. But I didn't. And I became weak. I really am just glad I got out alive"

"But…."

"Carlisle, please no Buts. Buts don't suit you!" I laughed, and I heard him chuckle.

"Bella, can I ask you to explain something to me?"

I nodded and he continued. "I fully understand that reasoning for not pressing charges, but – what he's done to you – he deserves to be punished."

I was unsure and Carlisle could tell.

"You – you really are lucky you're alive. I just don't think you're fully aware of what that man has done to you"

He gestured towards the small mirror on the wall, and I knew he wanted me to look. But I didn't want to. Having concrete, hardcore evidence of how bad this was made me want to eat my feelings, cheesecake and chocolate being the main courses.

But in some twist, curiosity got the better of me. I took a big breath and nodded.

Carlisle helped me out of bed, wrapping his strong arms around me like the night we first met.

He helped me over to the mirror and I gasped when I saw my reflection.

My body and face were cut, bruised and swollen. I hardly recognized the person I was staring at.

Just then the door flung open and Alice practically ran in, taking over from Carlisle and mumbling like a mad lady.

"Alice Woah! Calm down" I said as I got back into bed with a lot of help from her.

"Calm down? Bella, I've been sat out there for hours, I was so worried about you! You should have called me. You should have told me what Edward was…."

She seemed to get angry so stopped herself.

"I'm sorry" I whispered, and she turned her glare to me.

"You don't be sorry! You didn't do anything wrong Bella! I'm so glad you're ok! I just – wish I could have helped. That I could of prevented this. I'm so stupid! How could I not have noticed?"

Jasper had walked in and his concern mirrored his fiancé's.

"Alice, nobody noticed. And that was how I wanted it. I was – I didn't believe it myself. I kept telling myself things would get better. I didn't think anybody would believe me"

"I would have believed you. Bella, you're like a sister to me. I'm so sorry this happened."

"Alice please stop apologizing!" I stressed.

I could feel the tears running down my cheeks, and I heard Carlisle excuse himself as Alice wrapped me in a hug again.

"How did you know?" I asked after a while, and that evil smirk was back. "Carlisle called me. I have to admit I was annoyed at first – so early in the morning! But he said they had found your phone and it was on my number, and he said you needed me, something terrible had happened.

I thought you'd been in a car crash Bella. So I quickly came down here. He presumed you'd want to see me if you were going to ring me. And then Chief Taylor told me.'

She shook her head and held my hand

.

"He's really in trouble when I see him" she mumbled.

"Alice don't, just leave him alone"

"Bella, surely you're not going to let him get away with this"

"Alice. I just want to move on. Forget it. And I know that's going to take a while. So a court case is only going to slow that down. At least it's exposed now – everyone knows exactly what Edward is and the things he's done. That will stay with him. Even if he doesn't have the heart to be guilty about it, at least his heart will break as his precious reputation is tarnished"

Alice and Jasper smirked at me. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing. I'm just proud of you Bell's." Jasper said, and I smiled.

"Just promise me one thing" Alice asked, and I nodded. "Don't you ever keep something from me again. If you need me, you better tell me!"

I laughed and nodded before I yawned.

"Alright, we'll go now so you can get some sleep. Oh, and your coming to live with us" Alice said as they got up.

I tried to protest but she wouldn't let me. "I'll not hear a word against it. Just until you find your feet ok"

I sighed and nodded, knowing I'd never win against Alice.

After they left I lay back on the bed and smiled softly to myself.

I had done it. I had left him. I was free, free as a bird.

I could do what I wanted. As I began to drift off to sleep, I thought about everyone who was helping me, including Carlisle and I remembered his request.

Could I bring myself to press charges against Edward? I wasn't sure, I would have to see what the morning would bring.

Reviews please :) x


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: i don't own Twilight, S/M does.

A/N Thanks for all your reviews. Makes me smile lots.

Ive had a little writers block, and ive been working on another project in the mean time.

But i hope your all still with me and looking forward to this chapter.

Im currently trying to work on chapter 10.

I hope to have it here soon!

Well, hope you enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 9**

_Winter__. One Year Later_

I smiled as I pushed through the glass double doors of the office building and out into the cool winter air. I clutched my diary to my chest tighter as I headed across the street to the coffee house.

I unwrapped the scarf from around my neck, before sitting down and taking a sip of the waiting coffee.

"So…" he pressed, and I grinned. "It's getting published" I excitedly revealed, and he smiled too.

"Congratulations!" he said, standing up and hugging me. "And look" I said as we sat back down and I pulled out a scrap of paper from my diary, pushing it across the table towards him. He spun it round with his fingers and read it, a smile spread wide.

_For__ My dear friend's Alice & Jasper._

_And for my real life hero, __Carlisle._

_Without whom this would not have been possible_

"Bella…" he started, but I held up my hand

.

"Don't be so modest Carlisle. You deserve a lot more credit than that"

He smiled as I took it back, safely placing it away again. "Then I'll accept that. Thank you"

I nodded and took another sip.

"So, busy day at the office?" I asked with a grin.

"There's always plenty to do. Surprisingly, you're not the only clumsy person around town" he replied with a smile.

I laughed, looking him in his gorgeous green eyes.

He held my stare for a moment, before I broke it off, looking out the window.

"So, anything else you need to do today?" he asked quietly.

"Well, what with the wedding just a week away, Alice is convinced I've gained more of that healthy weight, she's got me in for another 'final' dress fitting"

He chuckled as he sipped, and I found myself closely watching him.

When he looked up, I looked away again, and continued conversation, about all things involving the upcoming wedding and Alice and jasper.

"I'm quite proud of you Bella" he said suddenly, and I stared at him – surprised by his comment.

"I'm not sure what I expected, but it wasn't this. I thought it might take you longer. But – recently you've really started to be your own person."

I felt myself blush and I looked down at the table just as Alice placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I know - we're running late. Don't mind if I steal her do you Carlisle?" she asked, and he chuckled again. "No, not at all - have fun girls!" and he got up as Alice dragged me up. I grabbed my things and walked outside with her, before glancing back into the coffee shop at him.

When we got to the dress store Alice was slightly annoyed to find I hadn't actually put any weight on, until I reminded her that was good because now the dress didn't need to be changed.

She also swore she had put some weight on and asked to be checked, but secretly I thought she just wanted to look at herself in that amazing dress again.

And to be honest, I couldn't blame her. "Alice, you look so beautiful" I told her, and she smiled at me in the mirror.

After we finished up with the dresses, we walked around town for a while before taking a small but expensive trip to the home ware store, before we went our separate ways home.

Home for me was a two bed apartment. Alice and Jasper knew someone that was selling up after getting married and was pregnant with Twins, so needed somewhere bigger so I was fortunate to get a good deal.

Money wasn't much of a problem for me. I had always had a separate bank account from Edward – not that he had been aware of it. And all the earnings from my first three books were tucked away in there. So I brought the apartment.

As I hung my scarf up and wandered down the hall, flicking on lights as I went - I thought about how much the past year without Edward had done for me.

It had taken a good half a year or more, but living with Alice and Jasper had brought back most of the woman I used to be.

I had also for the first time in years written another book, which was now being published.

With it now being common knowledge of what had happened that night, I wrote an honest book about abuse, my aim to help the many women, and to be fair men, that were victims of domestic abuse.

Alice Jasper and Carlisle had been there for me the whole way through, and my friendship with them had grown stronger.

Edward had moved away – with Rosalie – and I rarely gave him a second thought.

My life now was good

.

Alice was in just about full scale panic mode.

"Alice – your getting married in less than an hour – please, focus on that" I said trying to distract her.

"I know I know. But I'm worried, what if something goes wrong?" she asked. I turned her head back around to face the mirror and smiled. "Nothing will go wrong. Now will you please just go and marry that man waiting for you!"

She looked up at me and smiled before whispering "thank you" before getting up and giving be a quick squeeze.

Alice didn't have anyone to give her away, and she didn't want anyone either.

I couldn't really remember seeing Alice this nervous. She was giddy and excited, and she kept holding her stomach and exhaling quite loudly. It made me smile, especially when I thought about how nervous Jasper must be – he was quiet – the attention would kill him!

When we finally pulled up outside the church, the photographer was waiting and he snapped a few pictures as we headed inside.

We waited behind the big oak doors and listened as the music started up. Alice tightly held my hand again, took another deep breath and the doors opened, revealing the beautiful church and all the guests. At the end I saw Jasper glance round and grin.

As Alice approached him and he lifted the veil from her face, I saw the intense look between them and smiled as I took my place and the ceremony began.

Maybe true love did exist. I'd just have to work hard to find it.

It had been beautiful service but soon it was over and we were well on our way to the reception, which was equally as beautiful.

Carlisle soon joined us and we watched together as Alice and Jasper took to the floor for their first dance.

"May I have this dance?" Carlisle asked, holding his hand out to me.

"You may" I replied, taking his hand and following him onto the floor.

Our dance was slow, and we were close – it felt, very intimate. I tried not to look in his eyes and settled on watching the other guests as they danced around us.

But as I looked round the room, I noticed someone walking through the doors on the other side, and I felt every ounce of blood drain from my face.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Carlisle asked, stopping our dance and taking a small step back.

"Edward" I whispered, and he quickly looked up.

Everyone else had noticed him too and they stared at him as they pretended to dance.

But he ignored them, and casually walked across the dance floor with Rosalie behind him.

"Congratulations" he said smiling when he reached Alice and Jasper.

Alice looked like she wanted to scream at him, but Jasper held her back and spoke first.

"Do you really think it's appropriate you being here, Edward" he asked.

The cocky smile on his face faltered somewhat. "Jazz…" he started, but he was cut off.

" You can't just expect to waltz in here pretending everything is ok" Jasper told him.

"I just wanted to wish you both well" Edward explained.

"Well we don't want your best wishes. We want you to leave" Alice almost shouted.

I dropped Carlisle's hand and skipped lightly to Alice's side, taking her hand and pulling her back.

"Come on Alice, don't give him a second thought. He's not worth it"

Rosalie was biting down on her lip and I could see the slight confusion in Edward's expression – he was rarely, if ever, rejected by people on a scale like this – people usually adored him.

"Bella" he whispered and I turned back.

He didn't say anything though, and this made me laugh. I shook my head and turned away with Alice again. Jasper turned with us and took his wife in his arms, and I let them go together. "Alice please – let me explain" Edward asked her.

Someone took my hand and I hoped it wasn't Edward. But the touch was soft and caring – it was Carlisle.

Our fingers wrapped around one another's and I knew he was letting me know I was safe.

Edward sighed and stepped back as Carlisle stood tall in front of him.

"I think you should leave Edward – your presence isn't welcome here" Carlisle told him sternly.

I moved closer to Carlisle and placed my spare hand on his arm, gripping it.

Edward looked around and then back at Alice and Jasper, before finally settling on me and Carlisle, and our body language.

I suddenly realized that to him it might look like we were a couple and I found myself liking that idea.

Edward turned around and left with Rosalie, and as he disappeared through the doors, Carlisle turned to look me, taking my face between his hands.

He searched my face and I tried to smile reassuringly. Finally he let go and pulled me into his chest, hugging me tightly. I felt the tears begin to fall and I buried my head further into his jacket.

The guests began to move around us again and all resumed as though nothing had happened.

I stood back, sniffing a little and looked up to Carlisle. "I'm just going to the bathroom – I'll be back soon"

He nodded and released me from his warm and secure arms.

I slipped outside for some fresh air instead of going to the bathroom and looked up at the stars.

Edward wasn't completely the reason I was upset.

I had fully expected to be scared and worried if I ever saw him again. And I was -Just not as much as I thought.

No, what played on my mind was Carlisle.

I had felt so secure and fearless with him by my side. Like nothing could ever touch me.

He gave me confidence, security and most of all – I felt loved.

We were friends, and Carlisle had helped me through a lot, he had been my constant security blanket.

But I laughed at myself for feeling this way – he was my doctor. Sure, we had become a little more than that, but only friends. What worried me was…..

"Bella?"

I spun around and found Edward standing there behind me.

I swallowed hard and tried to remember that feeling I had inside.

"I just wanted to talk to you" he said, taking a step closer. I took another step back.

"Where's Rosalie, or have you banished her to the car?" I said sourly.

"She choose to sit in the car"

"Edward, what do you want?" I asked. I could feel my breath hitching in my chest as I remembered nobody knew I was out here.

"That night…. I lost control. I didn't mean to hurt you so badly"

I took in what he was saying

.

"You're such a weasel! You think you can just show up here, rambling off a fake apology and everything's going to be fine?"

He shook his head and replied "That's not it at all"

"Then what Edward?" I asked

"Are you – and Carlisle… Did you and Carlisle sleep together when we were together?."

I gasped and then found myself laughing.

"Are you serious? You just wanted to find out if you had damaged me that much? Wanted to know if you could pass more blame onto me for why you abused me? Thought I wouldn't be able to leave the house without you? Pay my bill's, live my live? Well I've got news for you Edward Masen"

I took a breath as I felt my confidence rise. "You mean nothing to me. I am so much more than what you made of me. And Alice and Jasper and Carlisle have shown me that you're just a bad chapter in the book of my life and now, thanks to their help, that chapter has come to a close"

"I just thought that maybe the reason why you didn't press charges was because you still loved me"

"_Love_…. You don't know the meaning of the word"

I could feel myself getting angry and upset, and I could feel the tears rolling.

"I suggest you take Carlisle's advice, and leave. Because you're really not wanted around here"

I turned to leave, and my foot got caught up in a crack in the stones, my heel snapping, and I crashed to the floor.

"Here" Edward started, holding out his hand to help me up. I put my hands up defensively as a memory seeped through and clouded all rational thought.

"Get away from her! I told you to leave!" I heard Carlisle almost scold

"Bella tell him…" Edward pleaded, but I just shook my head. "Edward, just disappear"

Carlisle wrapped his hands around me and helped me up. I slipped my shoe off and saw in my eye line as Edward headed back to his car.

"Bella…" Carlisle began, but I shook my head. "He didn't touch me. My heel broke and I fell down. He was trying to help me up" I sniffed.

Carlisle nodded and led me to the steps where I sat down

.

"Bella you're hurt" Carlisle said, his fingers running over my back.

"Am I?" I couldn't remember feeling anything. "I must have caught myself on that fence" I explained.

"Stay here, I'll go tell Alice we're getting you to the hospital"

We sat in the ER and Carlisle gathered up the necessary equipment as I watched.

In many way's he was a beautiful man. The way he moved around the room so gracefully and the smile as he worked – it was one of satisfaction.

"I didn't think it would be long until you paid me a visit here" he joked and I snorted a laugh.

Carlisle smiled as I covered my mouth and blushed.

"Well, I like to keep you on your toes" I smiled.

Carlisle worked on cleaning my wound and stitching the cut I had made on the fence.

I could feel his breath on my back and I found it made my body tingle, returning me to my earlier thoughts.

Could it be possible, I wanted more from Carlisle?

I tried not to think about it as he finished his work and began to clear up.

"Do you want a lift home?" he asked.

"Would you mind?"

"Not at all. Just let me finish up here. You can wait in my office if you like"

I nodded and jumped off the side of the bed before heading out the door and down the hall to his office.

There wasn't much to it. He had a grand looking desk, and a big comfy chair I placed myself in. Quite childishly I spun myself around in it several times and smiled.

On the far wall opposite his desk he had a big painting that looked like a city many years ago.

"London" I heard him say, and when I looked towards the voice I saw him leaning casually against the door frame.

His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, his top two buttons undone. He looked – stunning.

"Why London?" I asked as he came inside and shut the door.

He chuckled slightly and I wondered if he had ever told me before.

"Its where I'm from" he smiled

.

All the conversations we had, and I didn't know something so simple about him. I shook my head in embarrassment.

"Would you like to go home now?" he asked, but I shook my head. "I think I should stop back in at the reception. I can't just abandon Alice"

Carlisle chuckled and I looked puzzled.

"I completely forgot!" he admitted, and I laughed with him as we made our way to his car.

Outside the venue I stopped Carlisle as we were about to go inside.

"Can I just – thank you. For everything" I whispered.

His fingers gently stroked my arm, giving me that warm tingle again.

I smiled quickly and stepped inside, slightly ahead of him and rejoined a drunk and excited Alice as she was about to throw her bouquet…..

Reviews Welcome x


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight. Credit goes to SM

A/N: Hey, thank you all for your reviews and story alerts! Its fantastic!

So, here is chapter 10

Big shout out to my beta Kale.87

I love you wifey!

hope you enjoy this chapter x

* * *

**Chapter 10**

I groaned as I stretched my arms out of the warm covers. My phone beeped somewhere nearby and i searched for it with blurry eyes. When my fingers finally located it, I pulled it over and opened the waiting text message as I rubbed some sleep from my eyes.

_It's so beautiful here! Just slipping into something a little sexier – Jazz is in for a treat tonight! Speak soon x_

I laughed at Alice's update and put my phone back down before sitting up and swinging my legs out and over the edge of the bed only to shiver slightly as my feet made contact with the cold floor. I quickly tip toed to the bathroom where I showered lazily before getting ready and heading down to the kitchen for breakfast.

As i ate i checked my emails and wondered what to do with myself for the day.

I had nothing to really work on, and nobody to see. I caught the date on the calendar from the corner of my eye – just 2 months until Christmas.

I usually did my shopping with Alice, but I could go and get her gift whilst she was away...

Settling on the idea of shopping before it got too crazy, i washed the few dishes in the sink and grabbed my Gilet, heading out.

I drove into town first, needing to fill up on gas. At the station as i held the pump, i glanced around, and noticed someone in front of me.

"Morning Carlisle" I shouted, and he looked up with a big smile. "Good morning Bella. How are you?" he asked as he replaced the pump. "I'm good thank you, yourself?"

"Very well thank you" he replied as he made his way over. When he reached me i was just replacing the pump and grabbing my card from the car.

"Any plans today?" he asked as i reached across the seats to grab my bag.

"Just doing some early shopping. You?"

"A few things at the hospital, and then I have a meeting this afternoon"

I locked the car and started to walk with him. "How are you fixed for tonight?" he asked me as he fiddled with his keys.

"I have a hot date. Meal for one, my sofa and Hitchcock" I smiled, and I heard him chuckle as he held the store door open for me, letting me in first.

"Think you could excuse yourself for one night, and join me for dinner?"

Although i continued to walk, I felt myself freeze. My eyes were wide, my breath hitched in my chest.

I'd never done dinner with Carlisle. Sure, we did Lunch, but that was different...somehow.

Dinner just felt so... formal. So... date like.

I realized i must have laughed at myself out loud because Carlisle looked confused.

"Is the notion of eating with me that amusing?" he asked with a smirk. I shook my head as my breathing and heart beat resumed.

"We've never done dinner Dr Cullen, that's all"

"I know, but were friends, I think we should" he responded with a smile.

I blushed and nodded, turning away to reach a water from the fridge. I had secretly hoped he would perhaps refer to it as a date. But I knew better than to think along those lines.

I shook it off. "Ok, I suppose I could change my plans for you" I grinned. His returning smile was dazzling and made my body tingle.

"Wonderful! I'll pick you up at 7" he told me as he paid.

"Ok, I'll see you then" I replied as he stepped aside and I paid for mine.

I followed him back to the cars and he flashed me a pearly white smile before getting in and driving off.

As i got in my car, I could feel myself grinning wildly, and there was nothing to stop it.

Buying for Alice alone had proven harder than I first thought.

Alice usually dropped large hints as to what she wanted, whilst maintaining she wasn't fussed about receiving gifts, she just loved to give.

But i knew Alice well, and although she might not ask for something, there was always something she wanted.

And I'm pretty sure I must have missed the hints this year. I really didn't want to disturb Jasper, and so i tried to shop on my own.

Anyway, it was getting late, and I had to hurry home – I didn't have long to get ready before Carlisle would be here and I still didn't know what to wear.

I stood in front of my bed with most of my best clothes laid out in various places on it and tried to think like Alice.

I guessed the restaurant would be classy, so I couldn't just go in jeans. But I couldn't imagine anything too formal and dressy. I imagined Carlisle would be wearing one of his oh so lovely suits that he owned – I bet his closet was bigger than mine, I could barely recall seeing the same thing twice.

Eventually I settled on a blue dress Alice had once complimented me in and refused to look in the mirror, knowing I'd change my mind again.

At exactly 7pm, the buzzer sounded and I let Carlisle in. He looked – so handsome. I blinked spastically as he stood there and I prayed he hadn't asked me a question.

"Very nice – you look – Beautiful Bella" he smiled as he stepped through, and my heart beat quickened.

"Thank you. You too look amazing Carlisle" I complimented, and we both seemed to blush a little at the same time.

"Bella you..." he started, half pointing to my dress. I quickly looked down groaned.

I wanted to hide my face. I was sure the embarrassment would keep me permanently red in the face.

The zip on the side of my dress had not been done up in my haste.

As I fiddled, he stepped over and his soft hands held mine. "Let me help" his said softly, and I moved my hands, lifting my arm up so he could see better. _It's a good thing I smell nice_ I thought as he slowly did up the zip.

Goosebumps rose on my skin though when his finger lightly brushed along the side of my breast, causing me further embarrassment. I could tell it was going to turn an evening out into a disaster. Carlisle's fingers lingered for a few added seconds before he stepped away and cleared his throat.

"Would you like to accompany me to dinner Madam?" he asked with a smirk and I giggled a little as I took his arm and we tightly linked. "I would like that very much" I replied as we stepped out the door.

My feet were starting to pinch a little in these new heels and I wanted to take them off so much.

Dinner had been lovely and we were just waiting on desert. Tonight had been just as nice as our lunches, and I learnt a little more about Carlisle too.

We had mostly talked about the present when we had been in each other's company. And so he had told me about Growing up in London with just a father – his mother had tragically passed away during his birth. He had gone through college and took a gap year before university to travel. He had started in Europe – France, Germany, Italy and then decided to go to America. His father didn't bother to hide his disappointment when Carlisle had phoned home to tell his father he had found his calling and wanted to study medicine. And so Carlisle funded himself through medical school, and built himself up, studying hard and doing as many hours as it took to become one of the most respected and brilliant Doctors around. Along the way he had met Esme, but he didn't say anything further than "But now that's all over, and I'm looking forward"

Just hearing Carlisle's story gave me a greater respect for him than I had before.

And now, as we waited for dessert, he quizzed me on everyday things, starting with my film choice.

"Well, we studied Hitchcock in English, and I really enjoyed it. I like old movies" I explained as I sneakily slipped my heel off and stretched out my toes.

It felt so good and i moved my foot in circles a little as I explored freedom.

Carlisle was just starting a new sentence when we both froze.

My foot had connected with his leg. It had somehow made its way up the bottom of his trousers and I could feel his sock line under my toes.

Before my realisation of what it was exactly, I had wiggled my toes, exploring what my foot was near. I had rubbed my foot up and down his leg a few times thinking it was the table leg, but I was still now as we both now knew it was in fact Carlisle's leg.

Just then the waiter interrupted what I was sure would be an awkward moment as he placed our dessert on the table.

I quickly pulled my foot back and slipped it back into my shoe. I was glad I had a reason to look down now, as I couldn't bring myself to think of the expression Carlisle wore.

We both took a few mouthfuls before Carlisle resumed conversation and pretty much saved the evening.

Back at my apartment, I had invited him in and found myself delighted when he had accepted. We sat on the sofa drinking coffee, talking and laughing easily.

Carlisle's laugh was one of the things I found extremely attractive about him.

His mouth would open just enough so you could see his tongue, and he had dimples. His nose wrinkled slightly and you could clearly see his adam's apple in his throat.

I tried not to stare too long at what I found myself deeming perfection.

Carlisle was better looking than almost every man I had ever seen.

And he was a better person than most of the people I had ever met. I'd never known a man to have qualities like Carlisle. He was genuinely unique.

I forced a smile at a comment he made as so many thoughts whizzed round my head.

And as I looked at him, I admitted it to myself.

I liked Carlisle more than a patient should. More than a friend should.

I laughed again where appropriate, as I thought about what this meant.

There was no way I could tell him how I felt. He would probably be horrified with himself thinking he had led me on in some way. When in fact, all he had done was to be himself.

He set his mug down on the coffee table and turned in his seat. His left arm was raised and rested on the back of my sofa, his right arm coming up slightly and his hands meeting in the middle.

His left leg was also brought up and was bent on the sofa, his foot hooking behind his right knee. He had taken his jacket off and like at the hospital, he had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. He looked so relaxed and I smiled – at least he was comfortable in my company.

Neither had been keeping an eye on the clock until Carlisle rose to use the bathroom.

"Blimey, it's almost 1am!" he chuckled, and I got up too, picking our mugs off the coffee table and heading to the kitchen.

"Would you like to pass on another drink?" I asked, and his smile was – sad.

"I'm afraid I must. I have another meeting tomorrow. I think it might be sensible to get some sleep in somewhere – I'm covering a late shift tomorrow at the hospital"

I smiled and nodded, and washed our mugs as he used the bathroom.

When he was done he came into the kitchen, his hands in his pockets. "Thank you Bella. This evening was – lovely. I really enjoyed myself"

His comment had the everlasting blush re surface before I thanked him for inviting me.

"We should do it again sometime – Maybe I could cook for you" he suggested. My eye brow arched. "Yes, I occasionally cook! I've picked up a few good recipes along the way" he smiled as we wandered back to the living area.

He pulled his jacket up off the back of the chair and started putting it back on.

"Sounds nice" I tried to comment, but my yawn broke out, causing him to cough a short laugh. I'll let you get to bed. Night Bella"

And with a quick goodnight from me, he was gone.

I looked around the flat and sighed as I switched out the lamp.

Today I was meeting Alice and Jasper at the Airport as they returned from their honeymoon.

I had just made myself a hot drink before I checked the time – if I didn't leave now, I would definitely be late. I took a quick sip as I grabbed my keys and ran out of the flat.

Alice had given me the tightest of hugs when she came through the gate, Jasper not far behind with a huge smile and all of the luggage.

"I'm sure you didn't leave with this much" I said as I hugged Jasper too.

"Bella, I took Alice to two shopping capitals" he said with a laugh, and I rolled my eyes. "In that case, this is your punishment Mr Whitlock" I said as I took Alice's arm and walked in front.

"So, Mrs Whitlock" I started, and Alice grinned as I used her new name. "Asking if you had a nice time would be silly"

"Honestly, I don't know what he's moaning about. Most of the 'clothes' I brought were for him just as much as for me!" and she looked back a little with a grin. Jasper smiled and winked at Alice, to which she giggled.

They had been a couple for years, and not once had they lost the spark of their relationship. It really was something beautiful to see.

"Anyway enough about me, seeing as I can't actually tell you that much. You need to fill me in on what happened _here_"

I thought about this for a moment before looking back to Jasper again.

"Do you mind if I steal her for a coffee?" I asked with a pout and he grinned.

"When you look at me like that, not at all"

And so I dropped Jasper off at their home and drove to the coffee house with Alice, explaining a lot along the way.

Inside she ordered our drinks, showed off her wedding ring and boasted a little about how amazing her honeymoon and husband were, and finally joined me.

"So you played footsie with him" She said matter of fact as I explained the situation at the restaurant.

"Oh no! Alice please don't repeat it like that! I didn't mean to!" I gasped, and she smiled.

"Bella, it's obvious – your attracted to Carlisle, and you have been for a while!" she summarised, and I blushed.

"You should admit it to him, now you've finally admitted it to yourself"

I shook my head.

"I can't do that. No way"

Alice sighed. "Bella, you're so dramatic. You're an adult! Just admit to the man you have feelings for him – and I'm pretty sure he'll respond positively"

I shook my head again as I sipped my drink before my eyes rested on them.

There, across the coffee house, sat Carlisle and Esme.

Carlisle was dressed casually, and Esme – well she was stunning in her tight fitting top and pencil skirt.

My heart ached a little as I watched him with his wife. She leaned across the table and placed her small hands on top of his, and she spoke to him softly.

"Yes, I'm so sure" I said, nodding in their general direction causing Alice to turn and spot them.

She watched them for a few seconds before turning back to me.

"Oh please. Bella, there's nothing going on between them"

I stood up and began to pull my jacket on.

Esme had gone and Carlisle was looking round. He spotted me and waved.

I didn't know what I was thinking, but I just dropped my gaze to the floor and left with Alice, not even looking back.

I regretted it in the car. Carlisle hadn't done anything wrong, he didn't deserve that, and I was being really childish.

I sighed deeply as I drove Alice back home.

It was chilly tonight, so I decided to light the fire to sit next to as I sent a few emails.

I knew I wouldn't be going out, so after my bath I had slipped on my comfy clothes, my latest Hitchcock choice by the player ready.

Only the lamp and the roaring fire lit my living room as I sat on the sofa with my laptop. My hair was up in a high pony tail and I wore my hoodie, even though I wasn't that cold. I had short navy shorts on and thick socks and my glasses perched on the end of my nose.

I was typing away when the buzzer sounded. I put the laptop to the side and answered – it was Carlisle.

I bit my bottom lip as he stood there. "Come in" I finally invited, and he accepted.

We went into the living room and I offered him a drink. "Only if you're making one" he responded. "Well, I have a bottle of wine open" I suggested, and he smiled and nodded.

I disappeared for a minute, taking a few deep breaths before I returned with the bottle and a glass, setting them down on the table and pouring him a glass as he took his coat off.

I handed him the glass and he thanked me quietly.

"Bella" he started, and I looked up to him.

Just looking at Carlisle and remembering him with Esme, just made me want to laugh. Who was I kidding – I could never fit in next to Carlisle. I wondered why he was even my friend.

Carlisle was intelligent. Confident. Compassionate. Sexy. He deserved someone so much better.

"We were sorting out the divorce" he told me, and I wondered why.

"She's moving away with Emmett – fresh start" he continued.

"Carlisle, you don't have to explain yourself to me" I told him and he smiled.

"I thought you were upset with me, because you saw me with Esme"

"What's it got to do with me? Were just friends..." I said quietly and he looked up.

"Ok, well, I better be going" he said suddenly, getting up.

"You're going?" I asked shyly, and he nodded. "I have a few things to do tonight. I'll see you soon" he said, and he left.

As I shut the door behind him cursing my stupidity.

_Well played Bella. Push him away_

I hated myself for being so childish.

Reviews please :) x


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the the characters, all credit goes to S.M. No copyright infringement intended.

A/N: Right, firstly i would like to thank everyone who reviewed, added to favorites or just read my story - Thank you!

Secondly i would like to thank you for being so Patient - This has been a long time coming! (but i promise you it was essential!)

I think this is quite a long chapter, and it is festively themed - so please, enjoy Chapter 11!

I'd also like to add, that sometimes i draw alot of insiration from songs, and there were a number of songs i listened to when writing this chapter - i'd like to share those with you, incase you want to listen to them and find that a song maybe fits the moment!

Track 1: Gabrielle - Should i stay

Track 2: Sugababes - Too lost in you

Track 3: Kings of Leon - Cold Desert

And if i dont manage to get my next chapter in, Merry Christmas to you all and Happy New Year! (But i will try get another chapter up!)

Shoutout and Mistletoe for my Beta - Love you Kay Kay x

* * *

**Chapter 11**

_2 months later_

"Bella are you serious?" Alice asked, while I glared at her.

"Things are awkward between us Alice. It was almost like an argument. And it's not been the same since. I've barely even spoken to him!" I explained and she huffed at me. "I can't believe you'd do that" she breathed, and I glared again. "What?" she said, shrugging her shoulders. "Carlisle didn't see you as just a friend Bella"

"Alice, stop it" I warned. I was fed up of hearing this.

"No, I'm going to say it until you realise it's true – Carlisle wouldn't have explained himself like that unless he thought he needed to. And he thought he needed to because he was worried you'd think he was back on with Esme. Carlisle was basically telling you he was single"

I sighed and ignored her. I refused to believe that she could be right about this.

"Fine. But you're still coming to the Christmas ball, and I will not accept anything but a yes on that"

I shook my head and turned down to the frozen isle in the store.

Alice could be a pain in my backside sometimes. And the worst of it was, I knew I had made the mistake. It was my fault I had barely seen Carlisle. Whenever it was possible, I had rejected his invitations to coffee. But tonight I would have to see him. There was no escaping it

I hesitated at the door. "Don't worry" Alice soothed coming up behind me. "What if... I see him" I whispered, and she smiled.

"Don't worry" she repeated, and we joined Jasper.

There was a grand staircase that led down to a hallway. At the end of the hallway I could see a door that led into the big hall where the ball was taking place and I could hear faint traces of the music from the band floating up to us.

Jasper had linked arms with Alice and was offering me his free arm, which I took as we started down the stairs.

I looked up when we were halfway down and my eyes immediately found him.

I tried to turn back, but jasper lightly tugged on my arm. "It's ok" he whispered and I sucked in a deep breath to steady myself before continuing.

I cringed the moment my heels hit the floor.

He had turned and was now looking at me. So I turned to look away – anywhere but at Carlisle.

Jasper had released my arm and he bowed his head to me, making me smile. He turned to face Alice and bowed his head to her, taking her hand and kissing it lightly before headed off with her towards the doors. I kept wringing my hands together, not knowing what to do. My eyes found him again – Carlisle Cullen. Despite the fact we hadn't spoken properly to each other for a while, and I was the one who instigated our 'fight' because, well, I didn't want to like him anymore. And I for some reason thought if I wasn't around him, I wouldn't have feelings for him, and then we could go back to being friends.

How foolish of me.

But I still wanted him, as a friend, to tell me everything was going to be ok. I smiled, though it probably looked like a grimace.

I watched him as he spoke to some of the other doctors he was with: his hair gleamed gold in the bright light and...

"Bella?" Alice said, shaking my arms lightly."Sorry" I said sheepishly, realising she must have said my name a few times.

She laughed and looked over at him. "Come on, let's get you a drink" and we walked into the party.

It was so beautifully decorated. White was the main colour and everything sparkled. The stage at the end of the room had a glittering back drop and blue lights that really gave it that winter vibe.

To the side of the stage stood a Christmas tree that reached up to the very high ceiling. The bar where I stood was at the opposite end of the room. Men and woman in black shirts and white waistcoats carried trays around with small bites of food. In front of the stage was a dance floor that glowed white under everyone's feet and round the edges of the room were table and chairs.

"Shall we dance, or sit with Jasper?" Alice asked as she handed me my drink.

"Can I be terribly boring and say sit with Jasper? I'm not ready to shock the room with my lack of rhythm"

She gave a short laugh and led the way.

A few hours had passed – the band had played, the town's council committee had given a small speech thanking everyone for coming, wishing us all a merry Christmas and telling us to enjoy the rest of the evening.

Alice and jasper had kept me entertained, but i wanted to give them some time alone too, so i excused myself to the bathroom.

I placed my hands on either side of the sink and sighed looking at my reflection. I was used to dressing up like this, but under different circumstances. Edward had always wanted a trophy on his arm; someone he could proudly say was his. He often told me I didn't reach his standards, even though I tried so hard for him.

I vigorously rubbed my hands over my face – I wouldn't think about him. I wouldn't let him tarnish the respect and confidence in myself I had spent so long trying to build up.

I stood back and looked at myself.

My dress was long and flowed along the floor. It was midnight blue and had a back that dropped low, exposing my skin down to the bottom. I had a silk blue clutch to match and my blue heels on.

My hair flowed naturally over my shoulders and my make up was natural.

I fluffed my hair and walked out into the crowd of people. I spotted Alice and Jasper dancing together so I weaved my way to the edge eyeing up a dark spot, when a hand grabbed mine.

I spun round to see who it was and found Carlisle. My mouth popped open in a little 'O'.

When my eyes found his face he had this look of determination on it.

I didn't know what he could be so determined to do at that moment, but before I could ask he had placed his right hand on my hip. I froze as I took in this sudden movement, but I noticed that my hand had also instinctively moved to his upper arm and gripped it. His left hand took my right so he was holding it and brought them up to rest on his chest.

The height of my heels had him at eye-to-mouth level with him. He pulled me closer and i fought every urge I had to just run. I knew I had fucked up, being so mean to him. I really didn't want our friendship to end but he had to know where I was coming from or I would simply burst.

He began to rock left to right, making me realise he wanted to dance. He lightly squeezed my hip and i began to sway with him. He rested his head on the left side of my face and i could hear him humming along to the song, his breath making me get goose bumps despite how warm it was.

I could hear the song, its emotion feeding this little moment. I wanted to tell him everything – tell him i was horrible and had avoided him because I'd developed feelings for him. I wanted to tell him that being so friendly towards me made my heart want to jump out of my chest. But the words I wanted to say the most – "I like you"

He had this effect on me that I was sure he had on a good portion of the town, and I wasn't sure how to deal with it. We had never really done anything to suggest anything other than friendship, so it seemed silly to me to want to express my feelings to him.

I was going to pull away, to face him and tell him everything, but I felt his hand snake round from my hip and rest on my lower back just above my dress – his hand was warm on my skin and this intimate touch made me all tingly inside.

Before I could ask him what he was doing, he took a deep breath, the noise loud, and I lost my train of thought. "How do you feel about me?"

_Holy Hell_

I stopped dancing – i basically stopped breathing.

We had barely spoken for 2months and this was what he started with?

I stared straight ahead over his shoulder and he stopped moving, although he didn't release his grip.

I tried to think about what I could say both positive and negative. I could be honest and tell him I liked him, or I could lie and say he was simply a friend. I did debate telling him nothing. I was worried about his response to each and every answer I could give him. I wondered why he would ask me this question other than to make sense of the mess I had made between us.

And so I knew I had to be honest with him. I had to be completely open about my feelings for him. It would probably cost me his friendship, and while I didn't know how I would deal with that, I would at least have a clear head. I was really about to go all out with what I was about to say.

I pulled my chest away and looked at him, searching for a sign he maybe may have been joking, but i found none. So I took a deep breath.

"Most of what I know about you, I like" I started, almost mumbling. I saw the beginnings of a smile on those beautiful lips. "But" I continued, and that smile faltered "that's mostly this, Doctor – patient stuff"

I removed my right hand from his.

"I want to know what's going on, here" I said as I moved my free hand up his neck, and pressing my fingertips to his temple. "I want to hear it from here" I said, moving my fingers down his face and resting on his lips. I hadn't once looked him in the eyes, but as I did now my breathing picked up and I could see my fingers tremble. I thought about ending it just there, but I couldn't live knowing I had half assed my confession. I looked down and searched for the courage to make my final statement.

"Most importantly" I continued as I removed my fingers from his lips "I want to know how you feel in here". I moved my hand down, my fingers barely grazing his skin, until it settled where his heart was.

I stared at my hand and wondered if this would backfire. I wanted to look at him and perhaps find in his eyes some recognition of just how hard that was, but I chickened out.

When he didn't say anything, I began to panic. I wanted to know what he thought – could we still be friends? Could he still stand to be around me without feeling weird?

But most of all, I wanted to know he felt about me.

I took a deep breath and moved my mouth to his ear so he wouldn't have any problem hearing the question I desperately wanted an answer to.

_How do you feel about me?_

"How do you want me to feel about you?"

_Eurgh, I was such a coward!_

Slowly he moved his head away from mine, far enough that I could drop my head, absolutely terrified. I could feel his finger nudging my chin, and I let my head be guided by his direction, praying he would use his charm to let me down gently. I looked back into the eyes that stared at me: glancing left to right. His did the same, also glancing down at something, sifting between the two. I was concentrating on what his eyes were trying to tell me I hadn't noticed he had been leaning forward, closer and closer until his nose nudged mine and I felt his hot breath on my mouth. And that's when it happened.

He kissed me.

He took my upper lip between his and stayed that way for a second. All i could do was stay frozen. He pulled back a little but went back in. His glorious hands began to move over my body – the one that held my chin now skimmed along my neck until he was holding the back of my head. His left moved around my lower back, pulling us even closer together.

When he began pulling away as he did before, I began to open my mouth to ask him what he was playing at – I was pretty sure this violated the Doctor/patient relationship. However I was unable to ask my question as he took the opportunity and moved onto my lower lip. That pretty much did it. I finally allowed my eyes to close and take in the moment. I'd worry about the consequences later.

Feeling his perfect upper lip between mine made something in my chest explode and I kissed him back. I had that magical upper lip of his and relished the fact that, for whatever reason he was letting my lips touch it.

For a moment he stopped kissing me and I felt his lips pull up into a smile against my mouth. As quickly as it happened, it stopped and he went right back to kissing me, pushing my mouth harder against his. My arms reached up and rested on his shoulders as my fingers were winding through his luscious locks. It felt like nothing I had experienced before and

_Holy fuck! Is that his tongue?_

I felt a trail of wetness move along my bottom lip and I willingly opened my mouth to let him in, his tongue gliding along with mine. I grasped his hair and pulled. I couldn't help it – I whimpered. Then he tilted his head, which, if possible, deepened the kiss further.

Carlisle moaned – he fucking _moaned_- and I felt as though my legs would give out. Just then the song finished and the guests around us erupted into applause and I was brought back to reality, our kiss finishing. His hand didn't drop from my head and we rested our foreheads together, looking into one another's eyes and smiling, his thumb reaching round and stroking my chin causing me to giggle and his smile to widen. Then he moved back, kissing my forehead where his had just been and turning to join in the applause.

As I clapped too, I thought about the Cinderella I had once been. Would the clock toll 12 and my perfect moment lost forever? Or had I finally found my prince?

Someone came over and interrupted whatever Carlisle was about to say to me, and he reluctantly stepped away to talk.

"You had a nice evening then" Alice said behind me, and I didn't need to look at her to know she was smiling just as much as I was.

I turned round to face her, and my smile faltered slightly when I caught sight of the time.

Alice looked round before looking back to me and rolled her eyes. "I know what you're going to say, and I'm telling you not to bother. Since when have you believed in that anyway?" she asked. I didn't respond and she looked smug. She knew I didn't, and I knew that I was over reacting. But I couldn't have Carlisle break my heart.

"Bella open your eyes and your mind... You Love Carlisle and he loves you"

I shook my head even though I was smiling. "What do I do? I mean, I haven't done this for years Alice" I whispered.

She laughed lightly. "Do whatever feels natural. You don't need to rush anything for him"

"You seem to know a lot" I said, eyeing her suspiciously, and she blushed with embarrassment.

"Ok, don't get mad, but I may have talked to Carlisle"

I opened my mouth to speak, my brow creased in frustration at her, but she held her finger up and protested, so I fell silent again. "I didn't say much! All I said was, you had feelings for him, but you were unsure. I didn't need to say anything else, he understood me perfectly. And that was it. Bella, I've been watching Carlisle for a while. I've seen the way he looks you. He's liked you for a while Bella, please, don't let your past ruin this"

She looked genuinely concerned, and all I could do was hold her tightly in my arms.

"I don't know what I'd do without you" I whispered and we pulled away and looked at each other. "I know – you'd be a mess" she grinned, and I playfully nudged her as Jasper joined us.

"Alice, I think we should go now" he said with a smirk, and I looked behind me to find Carlisle stood there. "Ok, call me tomorrow Bella, we have things to do" She smiled, and with quick goodbyes they left.

I wasn't sure what to say to him. He came up closer behind me and his arms snaked around my waist, pulling my body against him. His touch felt so good. I rested my head back into the crook of his neck and looked up to him with a smile that mirrored his.

"Would you like to go home?" he asked. "Only if you'll come in for a drink" I suggested. He didn't answer me, we just walked to his waiting car, his arm around my shoulder, mine snaking around his waist.

Reviews please :) x


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight Etc

A/N: Right, because im now ina good festive spirit, i decided to upload this chapter :)

I had a brainstorm the other night and couldnt stop writing. Hope you enjoy it. Oh and warning - Adult content :)

Merry Christmas everyone!

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**Chapter 12**

We fell on the sofa, our lips locked, hands all over each other. My fingers wound through his hair and i pulled him closer to me. He moved his lips down, kissing along my jaw, caressing my skin and it felt so good. His hand trailed up my side, moving round at which point i pulled away.

I dropped my head in familiar embarrassment but i felt him brush my hair out my face. "Would you like a drink?" he asked, and i looked up into his beautiful eyes, nodding. He leaned in, kissing my forehead before getting up and heading to the kitchen. I rubbed my face at my own frustration. We hadn't been together long – 2 weeks at most, but it had been an amazing 2 weeks. And Carlisle was so understanding – he hadn't rushed me at all. I wondered where he'd been all my life.

But i also wondered how long he could put up with this for. I knew Carlisle wasn't like that – sex wasn't all he cared about, but he was Male. And i was being stupid. I could trust Carlisle 100%. I was just nervous. Alice had tried allsorts to give me my 'confidence' back. Sexy lingerie, the works.

And with Carlisle making plans to spend Christmas with me and my friends, i wanted to give him something, special, for Christmas.

Carlisle placed the 2 steaming mugs on the coffee table and sat back down next to me, slightly turned in.

He sighed and i looked up at him, still biting my bottom lip. "Bella, i want to talk to you" he said, resting his arm on the back of the couch. I turned into him and held his free hand.

"You know i fully understand and support your decision, but i just wanted to say to you – I want to show you love Bella. I want to show you real love" he finished as he stroked my cheek with his thumb. I smiled and held that hand too, pulling it round and laying a kiss in his palm. "I will let you Carlisle, i will" i promised him, and he smiled.

I didn't want our evening to finish – i knew Carlisle was leaving early because he had a long 2 days ahead of him at the hospital. Dr Snow had called in sick so Carlisle had agreed to go on call after his 12hr shift tomorrow, and the day after, and so i wouldn't be seeing him.

That sounded needy and clingy, but Carlisle was my all, and he had visited me every night for the past 2 weeks. But Carlisle loved his job, he loved his patients and i would never come between that, so i kept my selfish mouth closed and remembered when his shift finished in 2 days, i had 3 days with my man.

And i would make sure Carlisle fully enjoyed those 3 days.

"Alice i need my personal shopper" i begged down the phone. Her laugh echoed down the line and i waited on her explanation. "So, Carlisle finally tore the others from you did he?"

"Alice, thats not what happened. I er – still haven't"

"Oh Bella, now, im not saying you should spread your legs freely or anything, but i am going to give that man a medal"

"Yes very funny, Alice, just meet me in town please?"

She sighed dramatically and it made me smile. "Ok, when?"

"How soon can you get there?" i asked her

"You know, im going to start charging for my services" she told me, before bursting out in a fit of loud laughter.

"Sharing the joke?" i asked when she calmed down.

"Lets just say it was one of those 'its not what it sounds like' kind of moments" and i laughed knowing Jasper must have walked in at the wrong time.

"Right, so i'll see you soon then?" i asked and she agreed to leave within minutes, and i hung up, grabbing my stuff and leaving.

Town was busy – Last minute shoppers. Luckily, i just wanted the one store.

"I knew id rub off on you soon" Alice said as she scanned round racks. "Well, you are right" i said as i trailed behind, before bumping into her. "Im sorry, did i hear that correctly?" she asked as she held her ear out. "Keep moving and start teaching" i said, holding up a little purple number to myself, but Alice shook her head. "This on the other hand" she began as she picked out a white lacy one "is perfect. Little virgin" she said, and i frowned at her. "You're not funny" i said, snatching it from her and holding it up in front of a mirror. It actually looked really nice. And rather sexy. I decided to find another, and Alice found a rather nice Red one moments later, and we were done.

Alice decided us walking through a bunch of ignorant people that pushed and shoved at every opportunity meant we deserved a drink, so we headed off to a bar where Alice also thought it funny to celebrate me 'Loosing it'.

I did remind her i had actually had sex, but she said it was that long ago now i was probably a virgin again.

Alice also felt she had to give me the talk, which resulted in hilarious and dirty suggestions from her, and some i thought she simply made up because they didn't seem physically possible.

As we wound down the night and i arrived back home, i actually found i couldn't wait till Carlisle was back in my arms.

Carlisle had texted me late one evening when he was on his break, and i could tell he was exhausted. The father of a well known local boy had been rushed into hospital, and as Carlisle knew him personally, he had been trying his best to keep on top of all the man's Care, despite how tired he was.

I couldn't help but be slightly frustrated with Carlisle. I wanted him to come back to me in a condition that was suitable for staying up late, and i began to doubt this was going to happen.

Still, true to his word Carlisle came straight round to mine when he finished work. I heard him pull up outside so i left the door open for him a little as i went into the kitchen, finishing off some dinner i decided to surprise him with. I heard him jogging up the stairs, his keys jangling as he came into the flat and shut the door behind himself. "I'm in here" i shouted and i soon heard him behind me, tossing his keys onto a nearby counter. "And what, may i ask, are you doing in here my love?" he asked as he came up behind me, looking over my shoulder. "Passing time?" i shrugged, and i looked out the corner of my eye to find that smile i adored. "What can i say – its relaxing" i added as i chopped more vegetable. He hummed in appreciation against my ear before nuzzling it with his nose and kissing lightly. "Ive missed you" He whispered and i smiled. "I missed you too" i replied as i continued to chop. "Hard time at work?" i asked as he rubbed the back of his neck, breathing heavily. "Just a little" he chuckled and i set the knife down, turning to face him. His hands reached for my waist and i ran mine up to his shoulders, linking my fingers behind his head. "Why don't you take a shower? Relax a little" i suggested, loosening his tie and he smiled warmly. "I do have a spare suit in the car" he said before looking back to me. "Is that ok?"

"Carlisle – i offered, of course it is!" i smiled, and he kissed my cheek lightly before heading out the door with his keys.

Whilst he was downstairs, i went into the bathroom, turning the shower on and heating it up ready for him to climb into. Hearing him in the bedroom, i joined him as he hung his suit from the closet door. I watched as he took his shoes off and placed them roughly to one side – it made me giggle slightly as i had previously imagined Carlisle to be very neat, almost to an OCD standard. One shoe stood perfectly, the other turned on its side, and he began to take his socks off. "You can use the hamper" i said, nodding towards my laundry basket in the corner. He smiled as he undid his belt, taking it from his trousers and laying it on the end of the bed, before dropping his trousers to his ankles and kicking them out. I looked at Carlisle's toned legs, and his perfect little bottom in his tight black underwear as he undid his shirt and tie and shrugged out of them, tossing them and his bottoms in the hamper. I realised Carlisle was Naked, and i quickly made myself busy at the bathroom sink, hearing him chuckle as he walked past. I watched him step into the shower, the light shinning off his gorgeous toned body. "So er... It was busy?" i asked, unable to take my eyes off of him. "A little, and then Billy came in" he explained, taking the shower gel from me with a raised eyebrow. "Sorry, orange blossom is all i have" i laughed as i still looked at him. He chuckled and lent back in, squeezing some into his hands and lathering it all over his body. I stopped what i was doing, just watching as he stood under the water and it ran all over him in every direction, washing the soap from his skin, and he stood under letting the water run all over his face as he scrubbed it with his hands.

"He was in a bad way" he continued as he leaned out and swapped with me, taking my shampoo with another raised eyebrow, but no comment.

"Hm... sorry, who?" i asked, as i lost my train of thought when the room began to fill with steam. Carlisle's laugh echoed around the room, and i blushed. "Billy. He had a heart attack" Carlisle continued, and i tried to avert my eyes, getting all serious. "Oh gosh – Is he ok?" i asked as i lent against the sink. "Well, he has Hypothermia" Carlisle told me as he switched the shower off and stepped out.

I didn't move, i just stood, staring, until his laugh had me looking up again, even though it did interesting things to his body. "Do you have a towel? Or should i just stand here for a while and wait to dry?" he chuckled and i blinked a few times moving to the cabinet. "Its big" i said as i handed one over, and he smirked as i blushed. "I meant the towel i... i'll check dinner" i trailed off, leaving the room as quickly as possible.

I banged my head lightly on the cupboard before taking a big sip of wine. Carlisle's body had me all kinds of hot and bothered, and i was beginning to make silly comments. I hadn't been this turned on for quite a while.

I got quite a shock when i walked back into the bedroom. There he stood, in all his naked glory, back to me, that perfect bottom just there. I thought i almost licked my lips. I knew my mouth had dropped open and i watched as he dried his hair with one hand. He turned his head round, dropping the towel and smiled at me, pushing me over the edge.

In 3 large quick steps, i was across the room, turning him around and planting my lips to his, kissing him roughly. His hands took place on my back as he lifted me into him, my fingers roughing up his hair as i pulled, the kiss getting rougher, pushing him towards the bed until he fell backwards onto it, our kiss never breaking. I parted my legs, straddling him and i pulled from the kiss, leaning backwards and pulling at my top, Carlisle helping. He sat up, kissing along my chest, the top of my breasts, pulling at the black lacy bra strap before he stopped himself and looked up at me. I didn't let him say anything, i held my finger to his mouth and moved closer to him, pressing our foreheads together as i looked in his eyes. "I love you" i told him simply, and he rolled his eyes, kissing my finger with a smile before i moved it. "I love you too Isabella" he whispered and he dipped his head, resuming position.

Within seconds Carlisle had undone my bra and thrown it over my shoulder, quickly taking my breast to his mouth, sucking gently before he nibbled a little, causing me to groan. I felt him smile, and i felt his excitement between my legs, so i moved one of my hands between my legs and wrapped myself around it, pumping away.

He moaned, dropping my breast for a moment as he enjoyed my touch. I took the opportunity to kiss him again as i pumped faster, but i automatically slowed for a moment when i felt him rub my throbbing centre over my wet panties. Desperate for his touch, i moved off him and dropped my underwear before eagerly climbing back on.

With an arm wrapped around his big muscled shoulders and one around his amazing cock, i began to kiss him again as he touched me, rubbing my clit and making me moan, getting wetter. He stuck one finger in, pumping inside of me until i couldn't take it any longer – i had to have him.

Taking his hand i moved it to my hip and then gently lowered myself onto him. It was a shock at first – i hadn't had sex for a while and Carlisle really was quite big, but i was so wet for him and as i slowly started moving up and down, i got used to the feeling, liking it better then i remembered liking sex before, and i soon picked up a rhythm, bouncing on him as i moaned his name.

When he moaned in return, his head thrown back in ecstasy, i found myself gripping his shoulders tighter, my nails digging in. But he didn't seem to mind, and i began to kiss his body as i felt my orgasm build.

I moved both my hands to the back of his head and he looked forward, deep into my eyes and smiled, before moaning my name loudly again.

My body trembled and my screams got louder as i felt the tingle rush through me, and i began to tighten around him. "Oh god Carlisle i think i'm going to..." i moaned as i bounced harder still, and he held his head straight, smirking. "Thats it, come for me Isabella, all over me" he whispered, sending me over the edge as my orgasm ripped through me, a loud gasp escaping my lips.

Carlisle ran his hands over my back as i rocked my orgasm out before he stood, holding me in place and turning us so i now lay on the bed. Lifting one of my legs and placing it over his shoulder, he held it, holding himself back as he pounded all those inches into me. I could feel another orgasm build, and i sensed Carlisle was close when he began to grip my leg tighter, thrusting harder.

"Come with me Carlisle" i breathed, and he ran his hands down my leg, resting on my hips and pounding harder still as my knee dropped over his shoulder and he planted kisses on my stomach.

"Oh god Bella, are you ready" he moaned and i pulled him closer. "Come Carlisle" i whispered, and he did just that as i rocked my orgasm out too, yelling each others names in unison.

He gently pumped a few more times before dropping on his elbows and resting his head in the crook of my neck, breathing heavily.

As he lay there, i gently grazed my finger tips across and up his back to his hair that i ran my fingers through and began to play with it as i too caught my breath.

Soon he looked up at me, resting back on his elbows as he gently pulled out.

"Are you" he began, but i held a finger to his mouth again and he stopped with a smile. "Amazing" i whispered, and he kissed my lips lightly.

"I love you Isabella" he whispered, planting a kiss on my lips between each word.

"I love you too Carlisle" i smiled and we kissed passionately again before he rolled off me.

He leaned on his side, looking at me as he propped his head up with his hand. "I'll need another shower now" he smirked and i bit my lip. "We could take one together" i suggested and he grinned. "And what about dinner, chef?" he asked, looking slightly amused when i jumped up, grabbing his dirty shirt from the hamper as i went by, pulling it on roughly as i scrambled to the kitchen.

Everything was fine and i sighed with relief as i turned them down a little and drank some wine.

"Its edible" i smiled as he wrapped his arms around me again, placing kisses along the back of my neck.

"You're certainly edible in my shirt – i like that look on you" he said stepping back and looking over me. I posed in his shirt as i giggled before he wrapped me up in his sweaty arms. "You should wear that alot" he whispered and i smirked up at him. "Or i could just wear nothing" i suggested and he grinned. "I like that even more" he said with a squeeze, and more kisses followed.

"Right then, i suggest we eat all this lovely food you spent so long preparing" he said, standing up and walking away. "Where are you going?" i asked, and he turned back around. "To get dressed"

I shook my head. "Na, ah. You're already overdressed" i said looking down at his underwear. He grinned and walked back over as i began to plate up.

"Need any help?" he asked, looking at the table that was already set. I shook my head with a smile. "Just grab the wine" i said as i plated up the last of the food and brought both over, Carlisle close behind me.

"So, Where did that come from?" he asked as he stabbed the food with his fork. I could see the playful smirk on his face as i licked my own. "I love you and i trust you – why not?" i replied and he smiled. "And your naked body made me wetter than the lake" i grinned and he laughed, shaking his head at the same time.

"So, what's for desert after this very nice meal" he said as he ate the last of his plate.

"I thought we were having a shower" i reminded him and he winked as he took a drink of wine.

Reviews Please :) x


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or the characters. This is just my version

A/N: Hey there. thanks for the reviews etc on the last chapter. Sorry ive been away from this for a while, i kind of lost my MoJo for this story for a while. Hopefully i got it back and i havent just posted up words of nonsense!

I think this is a short chapter, but please stay with me - im working on that MoJo!

As always, id like to shoutout to my Wifey, Kay. Love you dear!

And id also like to shoutout to everyone who reads. You guys make it and inspire me to continue, so thanks!

x

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**Chapter 13**

I could have stayed in that warm bed with Carlisle forever and a day, but i couldn't sleep, and i felt abit weird just watching him sleep, so i crept out of bed, tip toeing across the room and gently shutting the door behind me.

I began to clear up the dinner plates when i noticed a white envelope on the floor. Curiously, i walked over and picked it up – Post wasn't being delivered today, and anyway, it was far too early.

My name was scrawled in an un familiar font on the front so i flipped it over and ripped it open – late Christmas card from the lady in my building?

The font inside however was familiar, and i immediately dropped the card, rushing to the window looking out into the night.

Nothing.

To be honest, i didn't really expect to see anything. Walking back over, i picked the card back up and sat on the sofa.

_My Dear Bella_

_Merry Christmas_

_Edward x_

Was it a joke? Somebody messing around with me? Or was it really Edward. Maybe he was messing around with me. Either way, i wasn't interested. Pinching the card between my fingers, i tore it into shreds, throwing it into the trash. I wouldn't give it a second thought.

Peaking at the clock, i realised it was morning and i snuck to the bathroom to change, pulling my robe on as i went into the bedroom.

"Merry Christmas" i whispered as Carlisle sat up in bed and he smiled, leaning forward to kiss me. "Merry Christmas" he replied, and he pulled a small package out from under the bed.

"Carlisle i.." but he cut me off.

Unwrapping the gift, i gasped in amazement. Inside the small box was a beautiful necklace. I picked it out and examined it against the light.

"Diamonds. Platinum" he told me and i shook my head. "You really shouldn't have" i whispered as his arms wrapped around me. "I wanted to" he said, taking it from me and opening the clasp. "I wouldn't put that on just yet" i smirked, and his eyebrow arched. "And why is that" he asked, placing it in the box and putting it on the side table. "I haven't given you you're gift yet" i said as i stood up on the bed. Slowly, i undid the robe and dropped it to the bed, revealing one of the lingerie outfits i had brought.

Carlisle smirked as he got up onto his knees and crawled towards me, his hand reaching out and stroking up and down my leg.

"I had planned... last night... to be, this morning, like this" i explained, biting on my lip. He kissed my thighs and groaned slightly, already making me wet.

"I hope this wasn't expensive" he whispered huskily, and i looked down to him questionably.

"Its not going to last long" he smirked, and he pulled me down on top of him, kissing me all over...

Alice had already called my mobile enough times for me to know she was mad. We were spending the day with her and Jasper – she wanted to play host. When we arrived she smiled sweetly as she greeted us. "Can i have a word?" i whispered to her as i hugged her tight and when we pulled away i saw her look at me with wonder. Once we were settled i offered to 'Help' Alice in the kitchen whilst Jasper and Carlisle spoke.

"Whats up?" she asked as she peaked into the oven, turning dishes. "I got a card" i told her as i checked the vegetables. "Oh?" she asked, looking up, probably trying to gage my reaction. "It was from Edward" i finished, and i heard a dish clatter to the floor. Alice was already gathering it up when i bent down to her, but her hand held mine and i looked into her soft concerned eyes. "Bella..." she began, and i shook my head cutting her off. "Carlisle doesn't know. I tore it up and im not giving it a second thought. I just, thought you should know"

She smiled and nodded, releasing my hand. "So... how did this morning go?" she asked with a grin. I smiled in fondness at the memory. "It was twice as good as i expected" i replied and she laughed loudly. "Everything ok?" Jasper asked poking his head around the corner. "Oh its fine, Bella just decided on Horn Dog for dinner". I glared at Alice as Jasper looked confused, Alice laughing at herself. I shook my head as i left the kitchen after Jasper.

I didn't want to admit it, But the card had me worried. Every time i went out i found myself looking over my shoulder. But i didn't see him once. I tried to tell myself i was just being silly, but i was soon proved wrong.

"How are you Bella?" That voice that i wished Dead said from behind me smoothly. I turned to find him stood there, coffee in hand, looking at me with a small smile. I couldn't answer. My throat was closing up, and i felt like i couldn't breathe. "I meant to call, infact, i tried but you changed your number" he was saying, but i wasn't really listening. I was actually angry, and getting angrier the more he said. "Isabella?" he asked again, peering down and looking concerned as I snorted a laugh, our history together playing in my mind like a horror movie. "What are you doing here?" i asked him, and he gave a shy laugh, turning away for a second before looking back up. "I missed you" he answered simply, and i continued to stare at him in silence. After 5 minutes he spoke up. "Bella please – talk to me"

Talk to him. What did i say? I knew i wanted to tell him to leave, to never come near me. But i couldn't find fitting words. I sighed instead and took a seat, Edward taking the one opposite. "Edward, really, why are you here?". He leaned across the table and stretched out an arm that i ignored. "I told you, i missed you"

I shook my head, moving as far away from him as possible. "Rosalie finally wise up?" i asked. I knew it was a horrible thing to say, and my tone suggested that too, but i felt Edward deserved it, no matter how childish it was. He gave that shy kind of laugh again and nodded. "Me and Rosalie have split up. But it's because i missed you... Bella" he said my name with a stern voice to which i raised my eyebrows – it startled me to hear that voice again, but i didn't want to show him i was still weak to it. "I love you" he continued when i fell silent. I shook my head again. "A. I don't believe you, and B i don't return your 'feelings' "

"I er, heard you moved on" he said and i sighed as i turned back to him. "Yes, i did" i replied, growing bored with this conversation. "I read your book"

I sighed deeply and looked up at him. "Edward, i don't know why your here, but i'm not interested. Just don't bother me"

I stood up ready to leave, but he grabbed my wrist, his grip familiar. "Edward, let go" i said, my voice rising. "I just want to catch up" he said. I tried to pull my arm free and when i did i stumbled backwards, falling into somebody. When i looked up i saw Carlisle's concerned frown.

I turned and planted my hands firmly on his chest. "Come on, lets go" i said in a whisper. "Did he hurt you?" Carlisle asked, all the time looking to Edward. "No. I was just telling him i wasn't interested in anything he might have to say to me". Carlisle looked down at me. I tried to plead with my eyes, and he must have noticed this as he took my hand and turned around walking out the coffee house.

"Bella, what's going on?" he asked as we pulled away and i took a deep breath. "Well..." i began, and proceeded to tell him all...

Reviews please x


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight etc, no copyright infringement intended

A/N: As usual, a big thank you to all my readers and reviewers.

I recently announced (Via my twitter) that i feel this story is coming to an end. I didnt want my story to get silly with rubbish plots so i want to end it on a good note. I will let you know when the last chapter is coming.

Love to you all , and i hope you enjoy this chapter. it suddenly came to me as i expressed frustration at my lack of creativeness!

Enjoy! x

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**Chapter 14**

Edward had gone too far – how dare he? Come back here after all this time, everything he had done and tell me he missed me. It made me feel sick.

Carlisle was wary about me going around town alone and had stayed over a lot. Although I didn't admit it, I was glad – Carlisle had always made me feel strong and above all, protected. He was adamant Edward would never hurt me again, and I smiled warmly as he wrapped his strong arms around me, stroking my hair comfortingly.

"Please stay safe" he whispered, and I looked round to him. "Trust me – Alice is like a broken record of concern – she won't allow any danger" I tried to reassure. "I know – we talked" he grinned, and I nudged him playfully with my elbow. "Bella" he said, seriously now as his fingers held my chin and gently pulled me closer to him. His eyes clearly portrayed his worry and my smile faded. "I love you Bella. Now, you know how I feel about violence, but so help me if he hurts you…" he trailed off as my thumb stroked his cheek. "Nothing will happen" I smiled, and he nodded. I sighed into his side as his arm snaked around my shoulder, sitting there for a minute before I tapped his leg, getting up and bending to the coffee table to retrieve my phone. "I will see you later, Dr Cullen" I smirked over my shoulder, knowing how that turned him on. "You certainly will" he replied as he bent down to put his shoes on. I made a face, that of contorted pain, and his concerned face returned. "What's wrong?" he asked, and I bit my bottom lip before answering. "It pains me to watch you put clothes on Dr Cullen" I whispered, and his smile returned as he quickly got up, taking short steps towards me, grabbing my waist and swinging me around, dropping me down in his arms. "You tease" he whispered giving me a kiss and setting me back up. I laughed as I grabbed my car keys and waved as I left.

As I drove, I danced in my seat – cringe worthy at stoplights – but I couldn't help the way I felt. Carlisle made me feel like I floated in air. I was in true love at last and it was perfect.

Alice immediately picked up on my bright mood and smiled sweetly. "Carlisle must be fan-_fucking_-tastic in bed" she joked as we walked towards the restaurant. I smiled at her before I responded. "Alice, Green really isn't you're color". She stopped for a second before continuing. "Ouch" she muttered as she followed me through the double doors.

Every month – well, mostly more than that, but the theory was monthly – we did dinner, and today was that day.

"So, you decided?" Alice asked shutting her menu as the matradee left. "Alice, were not all as quick as you I replied as I looked over my own menu. We made idle chit chat about everything and nothing until dinner arrived. "And some people seriously need my help – I mean, this man could not match to save his life. It was rather depressing" She sighed as she took a big sip of wine. "Alice, not everyone is as clever as you" I smiled and grinned.

"Right, do you want to get the cheque and I'll pop to the little girls room" and I stood as Alice got the attention of the handsome waiter as I excused myself.

"Isabella" A voice spoke as I left the ladies room. I spun round quickly to find Edward. He stood with a smirk, his clothes dark, but not as fine as they once were. I rolled my eyes and turned back around taking a step towards the staircase before he called my name again. I sighed as I stopped, slowly turning back to face him. "Just hear me out" he begged, and I looked at my watch. "You have half a minute" I gave him, and he smiled before beginning. "I wanted to apologize – for everything.". I stared as I waited for him to continue, my eyebrow arching.

"Bella, I love you, I really do, and I know I've made terrible mistakes, but honestly I don't think I can live until I earn you're forgiveness". I snorted a laugh. "You want my forgiveness so you can ease your guilty conscience?"

Edward sighed and rubbed his face. "Its not about that…" But I wouldn't let him finish. "Edward, No. I wont give you my forgiveness, and you will have to learn to live with the guilt, because you did do terrible things, and I want you to think about the consequences of you're harmful actions next time you're with a woman". I took a deep breath, my hands on my hips like I was strong and confident. And honestly, I felt it.

His laugh contained no humor, and he looked up to me from a bowed head. "You're right, I know you are, but I want you to know – Bella, I will always love you"

"Edward, honestly that's irrelevant. I don't want to know about how you think you feel and I certainly don't return them. Edward, I loved you – once – but you crossed the line, and it's a thin one between love and hate. And I've moved on – I love Carlisle so much, and that's all there is to it. All I have to say you – besides goodbye" And I turned towards the stairs, but Edward still had a hold of my arm.

"No Bella! I Love you – why don't you understand that?" he shouted, shaking me.

"Edward – ow – get off! ALICE!" I screamed whilst my fingers tried to pry him off my other arm. "NO! If I cant have you, he cant" Edward snarled and with all his strength, he pushed me down the stairs.

I felt the pain. I felt the air breeze past me – I felt utter terror.

I could hear screams, I could hear Alice and her screams to catch Edward, to get me to a hospital. But I couldn't see, and I couldn't move. My body ached and pain stabbed like a thousand needles pressing into me – I tried to speak, but I made no sound. Alice gripped my hand tightly, soothing me as she spoke to me. Sirens soon approached and boots beat hard on the wood floor. I heard a scuffle as the sheriff took Edward, un willingly judging by his loud protests. More sirens approached and this time the boots came to me, Shouting for space and asking what happened. A calm males voice addressed me before I sank into the black abyss.

Machines beeped and my throat was dry – I remembered this feeling. Slowly – too slowly – my eyes opened and found a head of messy blonde hair resting beside my arm. I raised my right arm slowly over myself and touched him gently. He jumped awake and looked straight to me, relief spreading across his beautiful face. He waved me back as I tried to talk, and I rested back. "Bella, do you have – You've been in surgery for hours and I've about worn my shoes out pacing the corridors and Alice – I thought she was keeping you safe, and Edward – He's disgusting, his story just – " He paused for a breath and looked up to my tear stained face before his hardness melted and he rushed to my side.

"I'm sorry Bella, I have no excuse I just – seeing you like that Bella, and powerless to help you – Bella honestly I wish id never left you alone". He took another breath as he held my hand tightly, finally settling down.

"I'm sorry" I croaked and he looked startled. "You have nothing to be sorry for – Bella hes a monster."

I slowly nodded in agreement. "He – pushed" I tried to tell him, but he calmed me down. "The sheriff got the video from the restaurant, and he admitted it all after his story fell apart". I looked at him with creased eyebrows and he explained.

"He said he planned to meet you, you were running away together, but you fell on your way down"

I shook my head in protest. "Its ok, a staff member heard you shout and like I say, they have the video and his admittance. But Bella please, tell me one thing – you are going to press charges?"

I nodded quickly – furiously – and he nodded too. "Get some rest ok, I'll be here with you"

I smiled, mouthing "I love you" as my head fell back into the soft pillow.

"I love you too Bella" he told me, holding my hand tightly.

Please review! Let me know what you think! x


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight etc etc

A/N: Hi guys, So sorry its been so long between posts - real life drama's just could not be avoided. I've kinda had this chapter wrigtten for a whille and finally had the chance to type it up - and then changed lots of things!

Anyway i'm hoping i haven't ruined it in any way, My head has been elsewhere. But i needed to write so i could get away from it all.

Well with that aside, i guess i should also let you know that the next chapter i post will be the last!

Thank you all for the reviews and for sticking with me - Love you guys. Hope you like it! x

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**Chapter 15**

looking at him I felt a burn in my chest – a fire start. He closed the gap between us and a hand held my cheek, a thumb gently stroking. I tilted my head slightly and smiled – his palm was warm and felt good. Without a word his head moved closer to mine and we both tilted in opposite directions anticipating the kiss that was now taking place. His lips were soft as they caressed mine and I moaned slightly making him smile. The kiss was now more passionate and I moved my hands up, winding them through his hair, pulling him closer. His hands gripped my waist and pulled my burning body to him. As his hands ran under my top and I felt his skin running over mine, I ignited and began to pull at his shirt making quick work of the buttons and pulling it from him, carelessly discarding it on the floor. His lips pulled into another smile as he lifted my top and we only broke the kiss as he pulled it over my head, quickly resuming. His hands found my breasts and he caressed them with one hand whilst the other unclasped my bra expertly and freeing me. Leaving the kiss, his lips placed tiny kisses along my jaw, down my neck which he nibbled playfully, along my chest until he took those pink buds between his lips and sucked, causing me to moan loudly. He worked his way to the other, not leaving it out and I worked my way to his zip, pulling it down and then pulling his trousers down. He was already hard as my hand snaked around it, and as I began to pump he gave his own satisfied moan. He pulled away and I stopped as he looked deep into my eyes. "Here?" he asked, and I bit on my lip as I looked at our surroundings – the bathroom at the hospital. One corner or my mouth pulled into a smirk as I nodded and he flashed me a sexy smirk of his own. Grabbing my thighs and lifting me up, I dropped down onto him and began to bounce, our breathing getting heavier. He grinned as he stepped forward and placed me down on the side, picking my leg up and placing it over his shoulder as he thrust into me harder.

I bit down and my lip and threw my head back in ecstasy, trying not to be loud but it wasn't easy – he was so good.

"Bella I'm..." he breathed and I nodded. "Come with me" I told him as I reached mine too. With a few final thrusts we both had a mind blowing orgasm and he collapsed on top of me looking at me and smiling. "I missed you" I told him breathlessly. His smile was bigger. "I missed you too Bells" Edward replied before we shared another kiss.

I jerked awake, panting hard causing the sleeping blonde to also jerk awake. "Bella are you ok?" he asked as he stifled a yawn, his sleepy eyes full of concern. "Bad dream. Sorry I woke you" I whispered and he smiled as he took my hand. "its fine" he told me before placing a gentle kiss. "How long have you been here?" I asked him as he rubbed his eyes. "I came as soon as I finished my shift. You were asleep – I didn't want to wake you". "Carlisle, your tired. Honestly I'm fine – you should go home" I replied as I adjusted my position. "I know I just – I missed you. There was a hard reminder today and I just had to see you"

I pulled his arm so he moved closer and I wrapped myself around him, embracing him tightly. "I missed you too" I said, kissing his shoulder. He moved his head back and placed a simple loving kiss on my lips. "So – do you want to talk about it?" I asked as he rested back into the chair. "Just – someone in the circumstance you were in. but we lost her. And Bella it reminded me and – I couldn't stand to loose you". I sighed as I looked at him, his lids heavy. "Carlisle – you won't" I promised him and his returning smile was lazy. "Come sit here" I offered as I slid across the bed and he joined me. Wrapping the covers around us both I snuggled into his chest and sighed contentedly as his arms wrapped around me protectively. "I love you so much Carlisle Cullen" I whispered and his responding hum and tightening hug was answer enough for me.

I felt safer walking down the street knowing Edward was currently locked up on remand, but that didn't stop me glancing around cautiously. "So, run that by me again because i'm not sure I heard you correctly" Alice pressed as we sat down with our coffee's. I sighed heavily. "Alice please" I groaned, knowing full well she had heard me. My dream about Edward had me disturbed and I wanted her opinion on it. She shook her head. "I don't know Bella. People have bizzare dreams all the time. Just -try and forget it"

I looked up at her. "Jeez thanks. Because I wasn't trying to forget it all until you suggested that" I replied sarcastically. Alice looked back with a small smile. "Anyway, Myself and Jasper are having dinner tonight if you and Carlisle would like to join?"

I shook my head. Not tonight. Sorry, I just – I need a night with Carlisle" "Oh" Alice replied with a grin before we began idle chit chat.

My arm propped up on the sofa and my chin resting in my hand I flicked through the hundreds of television channels available with nothing to watch. Carlisle had phoned to say he was going to be late – there was an emergency and they needed everyone they could. Of course I told him I would be fine, but now I sat here bored and pining for him. I wondered if I would sound pathetic to an outsider, but they didn't know Carlisle like I did. They wouldn't understand how he made me feel safe, warm, loved and respected – something Edward had never done. But I wouldn't let Edward bully me now – I had strength and I would tell that jury everything and pray they would punish him.

Just then I heard the key in the door and footsteps enter the flat. Shutting the door quietly, they slowly made their way across the hall to the side table, gently putting keys down before turning to the room. "Sorry i'm late – I thought you'd have fallen asleep"he said as he undid his tie. "Nope but I will give you points for the Ninja mode you were in." I joked and he smiled taking a seat next to me. Moving behind him I began to rub his shoulders and he rolled his neck. "That feels so good" he murmured. "I aim to please" I whispered and he leaned back into me, my hands running down his chest, my chin resting on his shoulder. "Why don't you go jump in the shower?" I suggested and he turned to look at me. "Sounds ok... " he mumbled, grinning a little "But it'd be better if you joined me". Without another word we got up and headed to the bathroom, our hands entwined.

I took a deep breath as I waited on the wooden bench. The room was full and silent. I felt as though they could all hear my heart hammering against my chest, My palms were sweaty and I began to shake as they called my name, and I made my way to the stand. I'd been offered the chance to be out of the room, but I wanted to face my demon as I damned him to hell.

And so I began, in my own time from the beginning like they asked. I told them about How I met Edward and fell in love with him. I stuttered as I began to tell them about how he changed – his temper grew short and he would pick an argument with me over the littlest things until one day he snapped, and hit me.

But i'd loved him, and he promised me it was one off – why wouldn't I believe him? Until it happened again... and again. He told me I made him angry and that would make him lash out – so I tried my best to do everything properly. I tried my hardest, but I was still upsetting him. At first he kept me in the house because of the marks, but when friends questioned it, he started hitting me where nobody could see. And so the show began – we acted like the perfect couple but he had me scared – I didn't want to speak incase I was out of turn, but I honestly believed it was me. Everyone had abandoned me in the past but Edward – he stuck by me. But instead of it all getting better like I though it would, there was worse to come. Hospital trips, Edward forcing me to have sex with him. I paused for a moment and looked up towards him – he was shocked – probably that I was actually speaking out – and Angry. Very much like Carlisle's expression when I found him. I realised most of this would be new to him – I had never told him everything. He just went by what he saw. I wondered if he was angry at me because I hadn't told him...

Next they asked me about why I changed my mind about keeping quiet. And so I told them about being at the hospital, and meeting Carlisle. I told them about how I slowly began to trust Carlisle after he approached me about my home life. He had been warm and reassuring. And then everything changed. I began to see it wasn't my fault, but I didn't know how to leave Edward – I didn't know if anyone would believe me. To conclude it all I told them about finding out Edward was having an affair and that I was leaving him when he badly beat me. They asked why I didn't press charges then – I explained I was just glad I was away from him and I could now try to look forward.

Then I had to talk about what happened that night at the restaurant and they listened to the witnesses, went over medical notes documenting what injuries I had received and how those injuries could have been caused. Our neighbour gave a statement, noting how polite Edward had always been, how helpful he was and how everyone in town adored him. She hadn't heard an argument come from our house. My heart stopped – would this be enough to clear him? Someone to my left squeezed my hand tightly and I looked round – Alice gave me a small smile and I tried to force one back. But I heard her continue – She told them about how I changed suddenly – I was no longer the talkative girl I had been. I was rarely seen around town and Edward had always said I was ill with something, or busy. She had been suspicious about it, but why would Edward lie? They hadn't dared imagine what he could have been up to.

Slowly I began to breathe again as the jury excused themselves and Alice led me outside where I stood wrapped in Carlisle's arms. He held me tightly, stroking my hair and kissing me repeatedly. "Why didn't you tell me" he whispered and I shook my head. "Carlisle please – ignore it all" I begged but he pulled me round to look at him. "I – God Bella I love you so much, I can't bare thinking about what that animal did"

I held his hands and stroked them with my thumb. "Then don't" I whispered, and he dropped his head, our foreheads together, our eyes shut tight until I was called back in.

The Jury hadn't taken long at all – they had agreed quickly Edward was guilty and the Judge had set another date for full sentencing.

Tears of happiness and relief rolled down my cheeks. I had done it. I was actually free of him and this time he couldn't return. He was going to be where he belonged and I could fully look towards my future with Carlisle, never having to worry if Edward was somewhere near by. I would erase that name and that chapter from Memory and start new.

As we walked into the town someone tapped me on the shoulder. When I span round I was Face to Face with Rosalie. Shocked, I didn't say a word. Instead I looked at her closely – She wore no make up, had bags under her eyes and looked withdrawn. I knew immediately and pushed forward, hugging her. When she pulled back her cheeks were wet and she wiped them on her sleeve as she sniffled a laugh. "Bella I wanted to apologise -" but I cut her off. "You don't need to. I'm sorry I left it this long – we could have avoided so much"

She shook her head. "Lets forget it. You were so strong up there, im just glad you did it. Look I have to go I just – had to tell you that. Take care Bella"

"Take care" I replied as she hurried off.

Taking a deep breath I smiled at the others. "So Alice – where do you want to eat?"

She grinned wildly as Jasper took her hand rolling his eyes and I leaned into Carlisle, Kissing him with a deepness that told him exactly how I was feeling right now.

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Liked it? Hated it? Let me know x


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: If i owned Twilight, we'd see alot more Carlisle. Unfortunately, i Don't.

A/N: Thanks so much for your reviews and to everyone reading my story!

Sorry about the delay in updating - i've been vampires (That don't sparkle) and i kind of had a baby! So now im a busy mum to 3, updates might take a while!

But - i have decided to keep going with this story. This is not the end! You'll know why when you read!

So anyway, i hope you enjoy this update - I've made it a rather long one!

Quick shoutout to Nachos4Children for driving me to finally type this chapter up and making me feel better about my writing. Love you girl!

xoxox

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**Chapter 16**

As I closed the book I sighed contentedly. I watched the blazing fire as I sipped some wine before turning to watch him. His eyes scanned along the printed words quickly, his tongue dabbed the end of his index finger before he turned the page. "Your staring" he mumbled, making me smile. "I like watching you read" I told him, and he smiled too, running a smooth hand along my bare leg causing me to shiver with pleasure. *Missing work?" I guessed and he laughed a little. "What gives you that impression?" he asked, his focus still on the book he held. I shrugged. "You look lost"

He closed his book after carefully placing a bookmark and gently tossed it onto the coffee table before turning to me. "I've never been on holiday" he told me. My facial expression must have perfectly portrayed my shock because he smirked. "I guess I just never made time for one. Work has always consumed me. Esme warned me…" he explained, trailing off. I looked at him and didn't speak until he glanced up. "You made time now" I said softly. He nodded. "I love you far too much to loose you Bella – Do you believe in soul mates?". His question caught me a little off guard and I had to think about my answer. "To a certain extent. I always believed Edward was my soul mate, but then, maybe we don't always find them in love?" I told him honestly. "Alice?" he suggested and I nodded. "Yes, I see what you mean" he smiled, shifting a little in his seat to face me more. "I knew Esme was not mine and I believe you are, and that is why I will do everything in my power not to lose you, and right now a holiday is what we need so it's what we will take" and his lips brushed a soft kiss on my hand. "And I appreciate that, but I know how much your work means to you, surely you know that if you need to be there, I will understand". We sat in silence for a moment before a smile spread across his face. "Not for another two days I don't" he whispered and he reached across, his palm to my cheek as we kissed passionately. Slowly with his free hand he moved the book from my lap and I felt his smile against my eager lips as it landed with a thud on top of his.

Alice just couldn't wait to see me and was around my flat within 20 minutes of Carlisle leaving for work. As she chatted away about the towns going on – she was on the committee now – I typed furiously on my laptop. "And so I've been put in charge of the summer carnival. Funfair, stall's selling local produce, the local schools putting together floats for the parade and fireworks at night to top it all!" she beamed proudly. "Sounds big" I mumbled as I continued to type. "Sounds amazing" She corrected. "Sounds expensive" I pointed out and she shrugged "Its going to be much better than Mrs. Petersons 'Garden Tea Party' "and I laughed. "Alice in Wonderland" I mumbled. "Oh my!" she breathed before snatching the pen from her hair, pulling the lid off and started to jot something down. I shook my head as she mumbled excitedly. "Don't judge me!" She suddenly shouted, and the pen lid missed me by inches. "I'm not judging!" I laughed. "I just love the fact everything is a competition – you go get 'em girl!". "Don't think I couldn't find the sarcasm there Miss. Swan! But I'll still take it as a compliment and yes – I will show them" and with a short nod she continued writing.

"So then Fairy Godmother, what's the master plan?" I asked a short while later. "Alice – In Wonderland" she said running her hands through the air. I stared at her for a moment before she continued. "Well its pretty self-explanatory really – Just like I said earlier, and my afternoon 'Mad Hatter tea party' will kick Mrs. Petersons into touch!". "You know, I never had you down as someone competitive" I grinned and a scrunched up ball of paper hit me this time. "Well what's your masterpiece then?" She asked. "Well, I do have bills to pay and we can't all be Stepford wives" I winked, and her eyes narrowed before she smirked. "it's my new book. I'm not quite sure where im going with it though if I'm honest". Alice stared at me until I questioned why. "What have you been typing for so long then?". "Nothing. Well, small ramblings. Its how all my books were born. I know the core of it – Love". Alice rolled her eyes. "Of course" she muttered. "But I want to challenge myself" I continued, ignoring her. "Can I write a comedy? I want to experiment with the genre" I finished. Alice smiled at me warmly. "I am so proud of you" she said quietly and we both smiled at each other for a moment until Alice turned back to her notebook and continued to mumble to herself.

Carlisle worked long hours and sometimes this got me down – I was alone a lot. So I snatched every moment with him I could.

The light from the TV flickered in the darkness and I struggled to stay awake as I lay in Carlisle's strong warm arms. "Listen" he whispered, leaning down to my ear. It made me jump awake a little and I heard his breathy laugh. "I'm not working on Friday – why don't we go out?". I snuggled closer into him, my eyes fixed on the TV. "Sounds nice" I smiled, and he kissed my hair. "How's the book coming on?" he asked as he settled back and repeatedly smoothed over my hair with his hands. I sighed. "Ive still not done much work on it, though I probably could write a book on reasons Alice shouldn't be left in charge of a carnival". I heard him chuckle and his chest rose up and down quickly under my head. "Bossy an Understatement?"

"It really is. But it's quite adorable and the committee know it's because she wants it to be brilliant – I think they concentrate on her work ethic " I smiled and he kissed me again. "So how are you contributing?". I sighed again. "You know how much she loves my baking – well I have a long list pinned in the kitchen made up of my scones, muffins, cheesecake – to name just a few. Oh, and posters. Apparently I'm 'Good with words'. And I'll be helping the younger kids decorate the float". "Busy bee then" he said, tapping my nose before kissing me again. "You bet" I smiled before leaning back and kissing him. His hand slid down my arm and he gently traced his finger tips across my chest causing me to shiver with pleasure and I moaned into the kiss as our lips parted and our tongues explored, tasting each other. Standing up I stretched my arm out to him. He took my hand and smiled as I headed towards the bedroom. I turned around to face him and walk backwards as I undid his shirt. "I think… you should have a shower" I whispered, standing on tiptoes to reach his ear and I nibbled it slightly as his shirt fell into a puddle on the floor.

As I checked my hair in the mirror I smiled. Checking my watch it was almost time to leave – except, I couldn't find my car keys. As I searched the house I heard my phone ring. Ah – where was my phone. I cursed loudly as it rang on, but when it rang again it was louder. "This flat is tiny" I said to myself as I flipped cushions through the air. "How can I not.. aha!" Finally finding it, I checked the three missed calls – Carlisle. I sighed. I had my suspicions about why he was calling and I pressed the call button, pressing the phone to my ear and waiting for him to answer. "Hey beautiful" he answered. "Hey, what's up? I was just about to leave – should I not bother?". He sighed. "Im really sorry, I'll have to take a rain check – work really need me". "Right". "Bella i…." he began, but he couldn't finish. "Carlisle its fine. I'll see you later then?". "I'll see you later" he mumbled back, and we hung up.

I couldn't help what happened next, and I felt utterly ridiculous for it, but the truth was, I was crying. Tears slipped down my cheeks. The tears were full of anger. I was angry. Angry because he couldn't take one simple day off – he was working himself too hard, making himself tired and it was driving something between us. I was also angry at that – that I would even let it drive something between us. I was being silly, I knew that. Wiping the tears away I tried to leave it behind – I would work. That would take my mind off it.

An hour and only 1,000 words later, my phone rang again. Alice.

"Hey" I answered.

"Well you sound glum"

I sighed. "That's because I am. So, hows it?"

Alice hesitated. "Maybe… this can wait"

"Alice please, just tell me"

I swung round in my desk chair. "Alice…."

She took a deep breath and began. "Well, I just saw Carlisle"

"You're at the hospital?"

"No – Jasper took me to that restaurant just outside of town for lunch"

"I don't understand" I said, shaking my head.

"He was here – with another woman"

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I felt my breath get caught in my throat and words just seamed – stuck.

"Your wrong" I managed to say sternly.

"Bella it was him – I know it was" she said, her voice apologetic.

I just kept shaking my head. I didn't want to believe her, Carlisle wouldn't do that. Not only had he promised to never hurt me in any form, he vowed he would never cheat on someone knowing the pain it would cause. But – Alice wouldn't lie to me. She wouldn't make this up, knowing what it would do to me. I realised that I had now hung up on her and I was crying again. Because I was hurt – he had lied to me about where he was going and why he was cancelling dinner. Maybe if he had been honest, I'd be a lot less hurt – and jealous.

I had no idea how many hours I had sat on the sofa, but it was now dark. Out the corner of my eye I spotted my phone light flashing, and my ringtone started up. I lifted it to look at the caller ID – Carlisle. Tossing my phone to the side, I grabbed a cushion and lay down, curled up on the sofa. The clock read 23.47

Carlisle had left a voicemail asking if I was ok and assuming I had gone to bed and saying he would call me tomorrow. As I showered and dressed, I felt slightly numb as I spotted something from earlier the other day. I knew I'd have to talk to him sooner or later, so I may as well get it over and done with, only now he wasn't answering, so I left a dull message of just 4 words – "We need to talk" before heading out to my car.

Tomorrow was Sunday – The day for church, and the town Carnival. I had already promised Alice I would help with the floats and I didn't see any point in avoiding her. Besides, the work would keep my mind occupied. When I arrived I could tell she had questions – I just shook my head and she nodded in understanding. I got to work on the floats, organizing the kids, getting the gear and finally decorating. All was going well until I stood up too soon, hitting my head on the final beam. A sharp, splitting pain ran through my skull and I stumbled backward, clutching my head and blinking rapidly. Several people rushed forward and helped me down to sitting. I could hear Alice's voice over the others demanding to know just what was happening until she saw me and her voice rose in panic. "Everybody just give her some space!" she almost shouted, and another pain rushed through my head. "Call an ambulance!" she asked next, but I protested. "Bella its too deep – you need stitches". I groaned as I agreed and she called 911.

Rushing through the double doors at the ER I prayed Carlisle wasn't to be my Doctor. Everyone knew we were together, he probably wasn't allowed to treat me anyway. I breathed a sigh of relief that was short lived. "Bella? Bella what happened?"

_Like you care_ I wanted to snap, but all I managed was a grumble – I felt sick. Feeling his cool hands around my wrists I finally looked at him – his face was full of concern I almost forgot why I was even upset with him. "Let me do this" he asked the Doctor, who reluctantly agreed. Alone with Carlisle, he began to work in silence. "Did you get my message?" he asked soon, and I mumbled a yes. "Do you feel dizzy?". I blinked once for yes. "Sick?". I blinked once more. "And how did you do this?". I sighed. "I was working on the float, stood up, banged my head"

Carlisle stood back and looked at me, his eyebrow raised. "Are you ok with me?"

_No. _"Yes"

"I got your message". This time I looked at him. "Later?" he asked and I nodded. "Now, I can give you some pain relief and I'll pick up a prescription for you"

I shook my head. "I can't". He looked into my eyes, his own puzzled, his brows furrowed. I bit my bottom lip and took a deep breath. "Carlisle – I'm pregnant"

His eyes widened and his lips formed the perfect smile. "Seriously?". I nodded again. "I literally did like, 8 tests. Every single one was positive". He was still grinning wildly. "How – how long have you known?". "I found out yesterday". "This is amazing!" He grinned, hugging me tightly, kissing my hair, my cheek, my nose and my lips. When I didn't respond he drew back. I hated to darken this moment, but it wasn't exactly the happy occasion I had imagined. "I was going to tell you yesterday – at dinner". He took a step back and his body language – he looked, awkward. "I'm sorry, I had to work"

I laughed, but it wasn't funny. "You'd lie to my face?" . He actually looked bewildered. "I – I don't understand" he stammered. Just then there was a knock on the door and a nurse popped her head around the door. "It's time for your scan Miss. Swan". I thanked her, telling her I would be out in a moment. Jumping off the bed I turned to face Carlisle. In a hushed voice I quickly spoke. "I know where you really were and who you were with, so maybe you should think about telling the truth". I almost spat the words and turned on my heel, quickly leaving. Outside the nurse was waiting for me with a wheelchair that I climbed into, and as she pushed me along the corridor I cradled my stomach, willing myself not to cry.

When i got back to the ER I didn't see Carlisle before my discharge and I could feel another set of tears begin to well up. I knew being pregnant made you emotional, but there was only so much I could take today, and this was too much. As I made my way across the car park a familiar scene played before me – The black Mercedes pulled up and the door opened. There sat Carlisle and he spoke softly. "Get in – we do need to talk". Hesitating for a moment, I decided it was a good idea and slipped in the passenger side.

Carlisle drove us across town in silence before finally stopping on a road full of grand houses that were beautiful. He took his seatbelt off and turned to me. "Alice saw me?" he asked. "How did you know?". "Because she is the only one you would trust, especially with something like that" he explained. "I nodded. "I didn't want to believe her…" I trailed off when I saw his smile. "I'm sorry, what about this is amusing you? Please, share the joke" I practically huffed. His smile got bigger and I began to get further annoyed. "I'm sorry, it's just, I've never been on the receiving end of your – " He didn't finish. "I suppose I should explain before this gets out of hand". He took a deep breath and smoothed his expression – he was serious. "Fortunately, it's not what Alice thought". I looked up at him now and felt my hard face soften. "Then, I don't understand" I told him, wishing he would elaborate. Still smiling, he simply turned and got out of the car, walking around to my side and opening the door, helping me out before kicking the door shut again and leading me to a garden gate. "What do you think?" He asked. I opened my mouth, probably to protest, but he nodded towards the house so I turned to look. "It's – beautiful" I told him honestly. Carlisle had now moved to stand behind me and I felt his hot breath on my ear as he whispered "Welcome home Momma". I shook my head a few times before gasping. "What?" I asked, making sure I was confusing this whole situation. "Alice saw me with an Estate agent. I've been looking for somewhere for us for quite some time now, and Sophie – well, she found something I thought was perfect. Anyway, she closed the deal for me last night, so I met her to get the keys – it needed a good bit of paint to make it look nice. Well, it's not quite done but now is perfect timing" and he wrapped his hands around my waist, resting them on my stomach. I stayed silent – I really didn't know what to say. "Am I really going to be a daddy?" he asked. Turning around I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in his shoulder. "Were going to be Parents" I sobbed and he squeezed me to him gently. "I'm such a fool! I am so sorry I – god I'm such an idiot!" I rambled, wiping my wet cheeks. Carlisle's thumb caught a tear and I looked into his eyes to see him smiling, his eyes dancing. "Can you ever possibly forgive me?" I asked. He laughed lightly and smiled. "I'm touched you'd be so jealous" he said with a wink. "Honestly Bella – its fine. I hated lying to you, but I really wanted to surprise you. I'm just so glad we got this sorted – I hated you being mad at me". His fingertips gently brushed my cheek and I smiled. "I love you Carlisle Cullen" I whispered.

"I love you more Isabella Swan" he replied and we melted into each other's arms.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

A/N Thanks to everyone for the reviews on the last chapter! So, i had this chapter in mind, so i just got it typed up and thought id give you a short one :)

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Chapter 17

I smiled as Alice apologised for what must have been the 50th time in 40 minutes. "Alice, mains are here – please shut up so we can eat" Jasper almost begged, and I had to laugh. "Alice honestly, its fine. You were looking out for her – I'm not completely unreasonable! I understand, now please – let that be the last of it!" Carlisle chuckled and Alice relaxed – a little. After desserts had gone and coffee had arrived, Carlisle cleared his throat to gain attention. "Myself and Bella have something to tell you". Alice smiled, interrupting. "You're getting married aren't you? Can I plan it?".

Jasper nudged her a little as he shook his head and Carlisle continued. "We don't want to get to married Alice – were happy as we are. No, what we want to tell you is – Bella's pregnant!" He grinned. Alice jumped up, clearly excited and hugged Carlisle. "CONGRATULATIONS!" she almost shouted, pulling me into a hug too. Overwhelmed with emotion I began to cry, which also set Alice off. "Oh Bella! What am I going to do with you?" She laughed, wiping her eyes. "Right – Champagne? Sorry Bell's!" She laughed, and we celebrated into the night.

As the removal men took the last of the boxes, I looked round the flat and sighed. I would miss this place a little – it helped me get my independence back, build my confidence. But I was excited – Carlisle and me could build a home up together, for our family. I rubbed my stomach and smiled, especially when a pair of arms wrapped around me, hands resting on my stomach too. He kissed my ear before resting his chin on my shoulder. "Ready?" he asked, and I nodded, spinning round to face him, pecking him on the lips. "Let's go" I whispered, taking his hand as we walked out the flat together towards our future with each other – a future I thought I'd never see.

Moving and decorating had been surprisingly easy, but only for me – because Alice, Jasper and especially Carlisle had refused to let me do anything, no matter how hard I protested. The house looked amazing and everything seemed to be going well – my first scan had gone well and I hadn't suffered much Morning sickness. Everyone commented on how well I looked and that famous pregnancy glow. I'd also decided to keep a diary of it all – I wondered if I could turn it into a book maybe.

Now, being 25 weeks pregnant, I was trying to find ways to keep the spark alive in mine and Carlisle's relationship. Don't get me wrong – we were all over each other and Carlisle loved my bump, but sex could sometimes get awkward – I wasn't as flexible as I once was!

Walking through the double doors of the ER, I smiled at the familiar staff. "Is Carlisle around?" I asked the nurse at reception. "He's with a patient at the moment but I can tell him you're here". "No, don't worry about it – I'll surprise him" I winked, and headed off towards his office. Sitting on his desk chair I looked around – on his desk sat a pile of paper work, an empty coffee cup and a photo of us, looking up at the camera and smiling. I was about to pick it up when I heard his voice outside the door, so I spun around in the chair facing away. I listened as the door opened and shut again and he sighed. I was just about to spin around when my mobile began to ring. Damn, I forgot to put it on silent. Spinning round I smiled at a puzzled looking Carlisle. "Surprise" I said, laughing, and he relaxed, smiling and pressing his phone. The ringing stopped immediately. "That was you?" I asked him, and he nodded. "I tried calling home earlier and there was no answer – I was out my mind with worry! I thought you might have gone out with Alice maybe, but she wasn't answering, so I've just come to try your phone" he explained. "I'm sorry" I told him as he made his way over. "Don't be, I'm just glad you're ok! Anyway – I like the surprise" he said, hugging me and kissing my neck. "Good, because I just had to see you" I told him and he breathed out noisily. "Mmmmm, I had to see you too – or at least talk to you" he whispered. I began to nibble his ear slightly and he pulled me closer into the hug, but I pushed against him, pulling away to go sit on the corner of his desk. He looked at me, one eyebrow raised. "I think I could do with a quick MOT Dr Cullen" I smirked, and he smirked too. "Really? Well Miss Swan, I guess I best carry out a thorough examination" he told me, and I couldn't help the small giggle that escaped my lips. Now this would give us a spark. He stood before me, running a finger up and down my arm ever so lightly, and it caused me to shiver with pleasure. "Interesting…" he mumbled, now placing kisses along my other arm. Stretching my legs out, I wrapped them around his waist and pulled him closer to me, running my hands up his chest, his shoulders and to his neck where I held his face, lifting it up so I could kiss his lips. The kiss deepened and our lips parted and I ran my fingers through his hair, his hands pulling me even closer by the bottom of my back. He began to run one hand along my hitched leg and I worked one of mine towards his trousers, gently rubbing him. "Ohhhhh, Bella, we really shouldn't" he began, but I placed a finger on his lips. "I know Dr Cullen… its very bad of us" I whispered, my eyes burning and he smiled, leaning in to kiss my neck.

Just then there was a loud knock on the door and we jumped apart. "Dr Cullen – it's your patient" the Nurse shouted. "Erm… ok I'll be there" he shouted before turning to me. "Damn it – Look – I'm nearly finished with my shift. Why don't you go wait at home and I'll see you later" he said, still kissing my neck. "Sure – I'll be waiting" I smiled, and pushing him away, I jumped down from the desk. I saw the look on his face as I did this, and I smiled. "See you later – Dr Cullen" I winked, and we left, going opposite ways in the ER.

At home I raided my draws for something sexy that would actually fit me. Suddenly, I doubled over, my stomach cramping. Breathing through it, i tried not to panic. Abandoning my plan, I headed downstairs, having to stop twice as my stomach cramped up. Tears ran down my cheeks as I willed my baby to be fine. I tried calling Alice, but like Carlisle, I was beginning to think I had no luck. Just as I was about to give up and another cramp came, she answered. "Alice please – I need you" I said quickly, before falling with the intense pain.

When Alice arrived, an ambulance wasn't far behind, and I was really crying now. "Bella? Bella.." I heard her shout from the front door. "Kitchen" I tried to shout back, but instead I cried with pain. I heard her heels as she came rushing down the hallway and she stood shocked at the door. "Alice…" I cried, and she rushed to me, the paramedics hot on her heels. "Miss, can you hear me?" they asked, and I nodded. They began asking me questions, that I numbly answered, and soon I was lifted onto a stretcher. As I sat in the back of the ambulance, Alice by my side, we looked at each other with the same worry in our eyes – had I lost the baby?

Going through the double doors for a second time that day, I looked around for Carlisle, and Alice trotted off, finding him a few cubicles down. I watched her closely, and I could faintly hear her. "Carlisle its Bella – its – the baby" she told him, and he quickly spun round, taking one look and rushing over to me.

Holding my hand tightly, he tried to soothe me and tell me it would be all right. But by the look of the blood, and the look in his eyes – it wouldn't.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. (Still wishing I owned Carlisle though... )

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this story so far - thanks for sticking with me!

Also a HUGE thank you to Nachos4Children for helping me so much with this chapter - couldn't have done it without you!

Well, enjoy! xox

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**Chapter 18**

Carlisle got cover and stayed by my side, clutching my hand. When I looked up at him, I could see the pain in his eyes – I didn't need a doctor to tell me what my instinct was – this was bad.

We had only been waiting a minute or two when Dr. Whitehouse, our obstetrician entered the room.

"Ok, Miss Swan, I'm going to do an ultrasound to try and determine what's happening and why, ok?"

I nodded numbly, and as he began, I sunk my head into Carlisle's shoulders. I didn't want to look. I already feared the worst - I didn't want to see it confirmed. The seconds felt like minutes, but eventually someone spoke – it was Carlisle.

"Bella, look – It's the heartbeat!" he exclaimed, so I opened my eyes, blinking several times to regain my full vision before gazing at the screen. Sure enough, there was our baby's heartbeat. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief and looked up to a grinning Carlisle, who was squeezing my hand even tighter. But I couldn't quite relax just yet.

"Can you tell what's wrong?" I asked, chewing on my bottom lip as I waited for his reply. The picture on the screen moved, and he pointed to something.

"That there is the placenta – it's covering the cervix."

"Of course. Placenta preavia," Carlisle mumbled, and the doctor nodded.

"It's a common cause for bleeding in the second trimester. And it's nothing we need to worry about yet".

I swallowed hard, still worried. "Yet?" I repeated.

He smiled. "I'll scan you again at 34 weeks, then again at 36. It usually corrects itself. If not, then we'll book you for a caesarean. Your baby is also breech, which isn't helping, but it has plenty of time to move. Miss Swan…" he said louder, and I blinked, realising I'd been in some form of a trance, my cheeks wet, and still chewing on my lip. I looked him in the eye and nodded. "Your baby is perfectly healthy," he tried to reassure me, and I nodded again, forcing a smile as he completed the scan.

"Here, I got some good pictures," Doctor Whitehouse smiled as he passed them to my still shaking hand. "I'll see you soon Miss Swan."

We thanked him again before he left, and as the door clicked shut, Carlisle dropped my hand and breathed deeply, wiping his own wet cheeks before turning to me and gently wiping mine with his thumb. He smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed, and picking one of the pictures up. His skin barely made contact as his finger stroked over the baby. I couldn't even begin to explain how happy I was – my heart felt like it was swelling with joy, and I finally gave a genuine smile back before bursting into tears.

"Oh, Bella," he soothed, leaning forward and pulling me into him, his arms wrapping around my shoulders, his hands gently rubbing them.

"I'm so – relieved," I managed to stutter out.

"I know, darling, I know".

For a moment we sat in each others arms until I felt something that also made Carlisle jump.

"Was that…" he began, but I was nodding excitedly, a huge grin on my face as his eyes widened.

"Our baby kicked," I confirmed, and our hands shot to my bump, rubbing gently. Right then we felt another small nudge, and we looked into one an-other's eyes. I could see so much love there and knew it was mirroring mine. Leaning forward, we shared a kiss before he moved to lie beside me, his arms tightening around my body. There we stayed, looking at our baby's picture, relief and happiness heavy in our hearts.

Carlisle had tried to talk me into bed rest – he was worried about the complications that could arise if something were to happen, but being sat at home all day simply had me bored. I decided to put a phone call in to Alice.

"Hey, I'm looking for a babysitter," I said, grinning to myself.

"Oh, no problem - how soon do you need me?" she replied, humour in her voice.

"Well, I thought with the weather so nice, we could take a walk."

"A walk?" she repeated, sounding worried.

"Alice, I will go mad if I stay in this house any longer! It will be...fun. We could go to the park… feed the ducks," I laughed as Alice did, too.

"Ok, ok. I'll bring the bread. Meet you by the pond?"

I smiled. "Ok, see you soon."

Walking in the sun, I smiled as I rubbed my bump. I was now 32 weeks pregnant, and our baby was kicking strongly. It was strange to think that just a few years ago, I thought I'd never enjoy this wonderful experience. And now, here I was, facing a future as bright as the sun with the man I loved more than anything - soon to be joined by a child I would also love more than anything.

Life was, at this moment, amazing.

I spotted Alice waving at me, so I waved back as I approached her. We walked under the bright green trees as we talked – about Alice's work, my book, and then she began talking about Jasper.

Suddenly, Alice stopped, and I had to backtrack a few steps to get back to her. She was slowly watching a lady go by with a pushchair.

"Do you think I'm maternal?" she questioned.

"What?" I replied, but she didn't repeat. "Well, I've never really seen you with any children, but as far as I can see, I think you'd be a great mom." She smiled and nodded, but I wasn't ready to drop it. "Why? What's wrong?" I asked, concerned.

"It's just – Jazz and I were talking, and he wants to be a parent – and he'd like to do it soon. I just never thought I'd be a mom. I've concentrated on work and – well, myself - for so long, I never imagined myself as a busy mom." I nodded my head, understanding her thinking. "My dad planted many seeds of doubt in my mind when I left home, and that stays with someone," she added, and I continued nodding – this I really did understand.

Alice's father had been quick to marry after her mother's sudden death, and it was safe to say that Alice didn't get on with her stepmother. When the opportunity came for Alice to attend a college, her father was rather upset she was leaving and told her exactly how he felt about it: she was selfish for leaving at a time the family needed her. He had told her that if she left, he would never speak to her again. They were no longer family. This had hit Alice hard, but she couldn't deny what she felt was her 'calling' – and she packed, leaving the next day. Now, for as long as I had known her, she had been filled with confidence.

"What if – what if I can't be a mother, but Jasper wants it so much he leaves me?" she worried aloud.

I knew it was something she feared a lot – losing the one man she loved and who loved her, too. "Alice – do you really doubt Jaspers feelings for you?" I asked, and she immediately shook her head. "See – you know he would never do such a thing – he loves you far too much. Have you tried talking to him about this?"

She shook her head.

"Alice – go home and talk to your husband about this. Things will work out. And to put my two cents in – you and Jasper would make great parents. You're both so caring – just look at what you do for the community, and now think about the love and support you could offer a child. I have no doubts about you whatsoever! Please, talk to Jasper about this," I urged.

She chewed on her bottom lip for a while before breathing deeply, nodding, and smiling. "So, where shall we get lunch?" she asked, suddenly her bright self again.

"Let's see – I need to avoid anywhere near fish at the moment – I've gone off it," I said as I scrunched my nose.

"Well, why don't we go to the Italian place for pasta?" she asked, and I agreed, linking arms with her as we walked down the path.

x X x X x

Stretching my arms up out the covers, I yawned before sitting up right. As I got out of bed and padded towards the bathroom, I looked around – Carlisle must already be up and dressed. Brushing my teeth and splashing my face, I felt much better as I went back to the bedroom, opening the blinds to let the bright morning sunshine in. When I looked at the clock on the side, it read 9.30am – I must have been really tired, to lie in like that. No wonder Carlisle wasn't here – he was an early bird type.

As I wandered across the landing to the top of the stairs I could hear voices floating up from down stairs. When I heard furniture being moved, I grew curious and began to tip toe down the oak stained steps. I was about halfway down when the doorbell rang, and Carlisle came rushing into the hall. Looking up the stairs, he jumped a little seeing me.

"Morning," he smiled when he composed himself.

"Morning," I smirked as the doorbell rang again, and he glanced at it. "Not going to answer that?" I asked, sitting down.

He smiled, rubbing his hands together. "Sure I will," he said before calling to Alice.

"Please tell me nothing is wrong," she said as she joined us. "Oh. Morning, Bella," she smiled innocently. "Why don't we go...shower?" she suggested, practically pushing me up the stairs.

"And I'll go get the door," Carlisle smirked back at me.

"Har-har," I replied sarcastically as I disappeared round the corner at the top.

Alice talked about nothing much in particular, but rather loudly as I showered. Once I was dressed, she insisted on doing my hair – and really took her time about it, too. When her phone went off, and she then began playing with my eye lashes for five minutes, I had figured out something was clearly going off – I just wasn't sure what it could possibly be.

So when Alice finally suggested we go downstairs to grab some breakfast - which I corrected was now technically brunch - I was a little impatient. When I entered the living area though, I was shocked into silence.

All around our living room, sat our friends – I spotted Carlisle and Jasper straight away. There was also the neighbours – Mrs. Everette and Miss Samuels, and Jessica and Angela from school were there, too. Two of the girls that had worked on my book with me – Lisa and Nicola, and I noticed the Denali's, too – I knew Tanya, but had never had the chance to meet her sisters. Tanya was one of Carlisle's oldest friends, and he considered them family, and so of course I would take them as family.

Everyone smiled brightly at me as I looked around the room in wonder. There were lots of beautiful bunches of flowers and balloons, and above the fireplace was some cream bunting that read 'Baby Cullen' - even though we were not to be married, we had agreed our baby would take Carlisle's last name. Lastly, with tear filled eyes, I spotted the dining room – lots of treats laid on the table – bagels, salmon, cream cheese, fruit baskets, cupcakes with pink, blue, green, and yellow frosting. We still didn't know the sex of the baby – well, I didn't. Maybe Carlisle could tell, but if he could, he was keeping very quiet.

I looked at Carlisle - he stood looking proud with an arm around Alice, and a tear slipped down my cheek. "Thank you – all of you – so much," I practically whispered. Not only was I emotional because I was A.) hormonal and B.) touched by the gesture, but I realised how much everyone had done for me, and how little I had given in return. I was so touched by their kindness, I just could not stop crying.

"Oh, Bella!" Alice cooed, rushing over.

"I'm fine!" I tried to assure her, waving her away.

"Well, myself and Jasper have some business to attend to, so I shall leave you ladies to it!" Carlisle announced, making his way over. "I'll see you later" he whispered, kissing my cheek before leaving.

"Right then – let's get stuck in!" Alice smiled as she pulled a wrapped parcel out from behind a chair.

x X x X x

I had received so many nice gifts and cute little baby clothes, had a wonderful brunch and chat with the girls, and laughed until my stomach hurt, that Tina from next door warned me not to go into labour. Time seemed to have gone so fast, but I was tired, despite my small lie in, and was kind of glad everyone was going home. Alice and I cleaned up and made small talk before Jasper and Carlisle and got back.

"I talked to Jazz last night," Alice started. "He told me he wants me more than he wants children, so if it's not something I want, it's fine."

I looked up to smile, but she wasn't. "And that's…bad?" I asked, confused.

"No, but – I want to have children, Bella – I'm just scared."

This time I smiled warmly. "Alice, since when have you been scared of anything? You never let anything get in your way. If you want to do this, then do it!" I encouraged. "And we'll be here to support you both," I added.

Alice smiled, and we both turned towards the opening door. "Good afternoon," Carlisle smiled, coming over and wrapping his arms around me.

"Have fun?" Jasper asked as he, too, wrapped himself around Alice.

"Of course – I planned it," she retorted, and we all chuckled.

"Anyway, shall we get going?" Jasper smiled at her, and she nodded with a small twinkle in her eye.

I eyed them suspiciously as they said goodbye, leaving me and Carlisle alone.

"So, I have something to show you…" he said, heading for the stairs.

"Can't it come to me?" I asked, tired and really needing a sit down.

"It's too big," he told me, lightly tugging me to the stairs.

"Is it really?" I smirked, and he laughed.

"Isabella! Seriously, come see."

And so I followed him upstairs, holding his hand tightly as we went. He stopped on the landing at the door to the room next to ours – the allocated nursery.

"Go in," he smiled, so I stepped forward, turning the handle slowly and pushing the door open. I gasped as I looked at what stood before me: a beautiful oak cot with adorable cream bedding with a cream teddy bear mobile hanging over it. As I walked round the room, I ran my fingers along everything, feeling the smooth wood. Everything matched and looked so beautiful.

"I went for cream – unisex," he said as he, too, walked around the room.

I was crying again and tried to keep my voice even as I spoke."How did you know about the crib?" I asked.

"Alice, of course. She told me you had seen this when shopping - that you were saving for it. And I wanted to surprise you – I know how much you shut down after the bleeding incident – even if you didn't tell me – and I thought it was time we actually looked ahead."

Walking over, I held my arms out, the tears falling now. "I'm sorry I never talked to you about it. I just – "

"Ssshhhh, don't worry," he said soothingly, pulling me closer. "Listen, why don't we go downstairs? You can rest on the sofa, I'll cook dinner, and then we'll snuggle up and watch a film – just the three of us," he suggested, resting his chin on my shoulder and kissing my ear.

I hummed my approval, unable to resist an offer that good.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I just kinda wish i did. At least then we'd see some sexy carlisle scenes...

A/N: So, here is Chapter 19. Thanks for all your Love on the previous Chapter! I hope you enjoy this - theres fun and a little Doctor lovin'.

A huge Thanks to Nachos4children - She's right - her patience is like Peter Facinelli's hotness - Never ending. Thanks for sticking with me girl, even when i throw a tantrum! *MUWAH*

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Chapter 19

Weeks had passed and there was still no sign of Baby Cullen. I was slowly starting to, for reasons unknown to even myself, begin to panic. Carlisle, being the cool calm doctor, reassured me that a lot of babies came late or early – it was rare they were 'on time.'

I sat on the stool at the kitchen counter on my laptop as Alice made her gorgeous vegetable soup for lunch. "What are you doing that is consuming all your attention, anyway?" she asked as she walked around the island to me, prodding me with the end of the wooden spoon causing me to snap out of my trance and look to her.

"I'm doing some research, if you must know," I replied, still mostly concentrating on the screen.

"For a book?" she asked, walking back around and stepping to the stove, stirring the soup.

"Nope. Self-induction." When she didn't reply for what I deemed - for her - to be a lengthy time, I looked up to her.

"And what may I ask, is that?" I swiveled the laptop around, as she came over to look at the screen. "Ah. You plan to try one of these methods to make the baby come," she summarised. I nodded proudly with a smile. Alice just laughed, shaking her head. "I bet you like the sound of that," she grinned, and I snatched the laptop back, turning it around and looking at what she had scrolled down to.

Sex.

I had to admit – that was very appealing. "Bells, it's all wives tales," she laughed, getting up and walking back to the stove, grabbing two bowls so she could serve. I bit my bottom lip as I watched her, ready to close the laptop as she walked over, soup in hand. "Still – having a look won't hurt, will it?" she grinned, and we sat together, while Alice scrolled through the website I had found.

"Are you overdue and anticipating baby's big arrival? Sick of swollen ankles, sleepless nights and backache? If you're keen to get the birth over with there are plenty of traditional ways to get things going...if you choose to believe them, of course..." Alice read aloud and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I gave her a short nod in response, keen for her to continue.

"Order a hot curry: For years, women have believe that if they eat a hot curry it will stimulate the uterus enough to bring on labour. Sadly there is (as yet) no evidence to suggest this works but by all means give it a shot, just avoid the mega-hot varieties like vindaloo and phao, it might have the not-so-desirable effect of indigestion and an uncomfortable night sleep..." she read before turning back to look at me. "Guess I know what you're having for dinner," she smirked.

I flashed one of those sarcastic, 'I'm-not-really-laughing' smiles at her before taking the computer and reading out the next one myself.

"Walking: Though you'll be more inclined to slump on the couch than attempt a mile-long walk, many mums swear that some last minute pavement-pounding was the trigger they needed to kick start labour. It's thought (though not yet proved) that the gentle movement of walking encourages baby's head to drop further down into the cervix and release oxytocin which may help get things moving. It's also a good way to help shift your baby into position if the head's not yet engaged or they're not in the desired position for birth."

"Well, we covered that one on the way to the shops this morning," Alice teased as she took the computer back, reading the third method.

"Stimulating your nipples: There is evidence to suggest that nipple stimulation increases oxytocin which can help bring on labour. Try gently rubbing/tweaking the nipples in the shower (stimulating the entire areola - the brown bit around your nipple) or take it one step further and have a little trial session with a breast pump - this will mimmick the effect of a baby sucking and is likely to release higher levels of oxytocin." Alice laughed again before looking to me. "Well, I'm sure Carlisle can cover that one whilst also covering the next - Have sex: Though you're unlikely to manage any adventurous positions in the late stages of pregnancy, it is believed that sex can help get labour started. Making love helps to release oxytocin - a lovely little hormone that not only helps us feel great but can also stimulate the uterus and get your body geared up for labour. Semen also contains prostaglandins which can soften the cervix in preparation for birth."

This time I grinned. "At least if it doesn't work, we can have plenty of fun trying!" I said, sticking my tongue out a little.

"Well, Carlisle is in for a treat tonight! Curry for dinner followed by lots of sex and nipple play!" Alice summarised, and we roared with laughter.

"Anything else?" I asked when we composed ourselves, and Alice looked at the screen intently.

"Let's see… Eating Pineapple: Fresh pineapple is a bromelain-rich fruit that can increase the production of prosteglandins (so it's believed) but it's thought you'd need to eat large quantities of the stuff for it to have any sort of effect. There's also Caster oil: This dates back years and was probably used by our grannies and their grannies as a top way to welcome their babies into the world. It's believed that castor oil can boost the digestive system and simultaneously enhance the probability of labour but it also has some rather irritating side effects including diarrhoea, sickness, and nausea...not a great mix especially if you've battled on-going pregnancy sickness for the past nine months. Castor oil isn't recommended by midwives though many women admit to going ahead and trying it anyway."

I drew out a long breath and looked to Alice. "And I suppose you're thinking the same as me?" I smirked, and she raised a finger to her chin, tapping lightly pretending to be in deep thought before grinning.

"Sex," we both said at the same time.

The rest of lunch passed with us acting like teenagers again, looking up various sexual positions I could easily achieve during pregnancy. When Carlisle came home – four hours later – we were still looking up ridiculous things like 'Sexual positions for conceiving a baby boy/girl' and laughing like immature school girls.

"According to one legend, you being on top during sex helps conceive a girl, and the man being on top will conceive a boy," Alice read.

"Well, Lord knows the sex of my baby then!" i snickered, just as I heard the front door close. When I turned to see Carlisle standing at the door, he looked slightly amused.

"What is so funny it has you both laughing like hyenas?"

"I'm doing research" Alice answered.

"Really?" Carlisle replied, though he didn't look fully convinced.

"Sure. But its OK. You could say I'm on top of it now," she winked. As Alice got up, clearing away the bowls, I quickly closed the web page. "Anyway, I'll leave you both to your evening" she smiled, and after quick hugs she left, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"What was that all about?" Carlisle asked, walking over and wrapping his arms over my shoulders, his chin resting on one as he placed tiny kisses on my neck and ear.

"Nothing much," I said, rolling my neck and enjoying the feeling. "How was work?" I added as his kisses moved to my jaw.

"Oh you know, the same as most days" he mumbled, spinning me around in the chair to face him. I moved my arms up around his neck, pulling him closer to kiss his soft lips.

"Distracted?" I wondered, and he hummed. "Well…" I murmured, gently pushing him away. "I feel like a sit down with this show I recorded earlier." As I walked away toward the living room, I smirked. Carlisle grabbed my hand, but I carried on walking, so he followed as I went across the room before turning to face him again. His arms quickly snaked around my waist pulling me to him again.

"I missed you," he breathed, and I smiled as more kisses ran along my jaw line. Looking down to him, I kissed him as I turned him, pushing him to sit on the sofa. Our kisses were so passionate, and I could feel how wet I was starting to get just thinking about what I was planning to do.

Kissing along his jaw, I moved to his ear, nibbling on it gently as I rubbed a hand over his trousers, feeling him grow underneath me. I felt like ripping his clothes off right then and just doing it, but the truth was, we hadn't had sex for a few weeks now – I was as big as a house, and well, I didn't really feel very sexy. Because of this, I wanted to take my time – I wanted to give the man I loved so much pleasure.

Snaking my forefinger down his chest to the top button of his shirt, I slowly began to undo them. Pulling his shirt apart, I ran my hands fiercely across him, marking his skin a little. He moaned, throwing his head back, and I smiled to myself. Slowly, I moved my hands to his pants and carefully undid his belt and zip. I slid my hand down underneath the tight white material and gently rubbed him. I felt him throb beneath my touch, and I leaned down and began to flick my tongue over his nipple at the same time as another moan escaped his lips.

I pulled his huge erection free and began to pump, my hand wrapped around him. Quickly, Carlisle slid his pants and underwear down his legs and skilfully kicked them off before taking his hand and running it up my leg, on the inside of my thigh, tickling me in pleasurable ways. Seemingly too slowly, Carlisle's fingers made their way to my waiting, throbbing centre, and he carefully moved the cotton aside, gently stroking me. My back arched slightly at his touch and I heard my breath catch. Moving his hands to my hips, he gently began to shimmy the cotton down my legs, and i wiggled to accommodate this until i could kick them off. With one hand raising and resting on my hip, his fingers on the other gently slid inside of me. At that moment we looked deeply into one another's eyes.

Smiling, I moved his hand and gently slid myself on top of him, taking him all in. Adjusting so it didn't hurt, I began to bounce on him. Even though I felt huge, Carlisle managed to make me feel sexy. His hands gently caressed my body as my pants and moans became louder. We hadn't been going long, but I could already feel my orgasm building up. I tried to lean forward gently, and we shared a kiss. I leant back, resuming my bouncing, gradually reaching my climax. I could feel that amazing sensation at my centre, and Carlisle's soft touch all over my body had pretty much sent me into a breathless, sweaty mess as I let everything go and screamed his name, my climax reaching an amazing height.

Carlisle wasn't far behind me, and as I began to grind on him, riding my orgasm out, Carlisle had his, biting his bottom lip as a low growl escaped him. His hands gripped my hips as his bucked slightly, and I smiled as I tried to catch my breath. Carlisle smiled, too, and ran his hands softly up and down my back before I climbed off him. Reaching round, he pulled the throw off the back of the couch and wrapped it around us. Snuggling into his chest, I still had that same smile on my face as we both lay a hand on my moving bump.

"Any day now," Carlisle whispered as I closed my eyes, humming with happiness.

Let me know what you think. If you want to that is... x


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I do not own anything (But this story. And maybe Carlisle in my dreams...)

A/N: As always, a huge thanks to everyone who reads this. Love to you all. And a big Thanks to Nachos4Children. Thanks for helping me girl - love you lots! x

So, Enjoy! :)

* * *

**Chapter 20**

Walking down the hall and to the kitchen, I poked my head in and watched Carlisle. He walked around with his shirt un-tucked and a few top buttons un-done. He lifted the coffee pot and poured the boiling liquid into the waiting mug.

"Morning," he said as he replaced the pot. When he turned to look at me, I saw the smirk he wore, and grinning to myself, I stepped into the kitchen.

"Morning," I replied as I made my way over to him.

Ducking his head slightly, he placed a kiss on my eager lips. "Sleep well?" he asked as he moved slightly, reaching out to pass me a mug from the cupboard.

"Very well, thank you. Yourself?" I replied as I reached round to pour my own drink.

"I always sleep well knowing I'm with you," he returned with another kiss. I felt myself blush and managed to hold back the giggle I felt bubbling in my chest. As Carlisle leaned on one elbow on the worktop, I took a sip from my drink before putting it down. Fingering his shirt collar, I made my way down to the buttons done up, a playful smirk on my lips. "Oh I see what you're up to, Miss Swan," he clicked and continued to drink from his mug.

I hunched my shoulders, tilting my head to the side a little and looked at him through my eye lashes, almost batting them. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, dear," I said sweetly.

Carlisle just stared at me with one eyebrow raised, and it didn't take long for me to cave in, my lips beginning to pull into a smile when he gave a short triumphant nod, putting his own mug down. "I should have seen it coming, the way you and Alice were behaving," he began as he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my nose. I smirked again beneath it, and as he moved back, he released a noisy breath, one hand rising to catch my chin. "Sweetheart – I might have some theories of my own," he winked. "Tell you what – I have a free afternoon. Why don't we meet for an early dinner, then we can explore these theories."

As he had been speaking, his fingertips had been lightly tracing the skin on my back, and I shivered pleasantly. "You're such a tease!" I groaned, but he just grinned before resuming his position of leaning on the counter, picking his mug back up. Draining it as I moved to the side, he stood up, doing the buttons on his shirt up before walking over to the sink to rinse his cup out.

"Well, sweetheart, I best be off. God speed the hours until I get to see your pretty face again," he said, kissing me quickly as he walked past. I blushed madly again and turned to follow him down the hallway as he grabbed his jacket, keys, and brief case before opening the door. Reaching him, I pulled him into a deep kiss, then released him, smiling wildly. "Love you," he called as he walked down the garden path.

Leaning on the front door, I swung gently. "Love you, too," I replied and didn't shut the door until he disappeared.

Sighing, I wondered what I could do now. The house was clean, and Carlisle had already cleared up his breakfast pots before I came downstairs. Grabbing some cereal from the kitchen, I decided to settle on the sofa with a book. Setting the bowl on the coffee table, I walked to the bookshelf, examining the spines with my forefinger until I found one I thought I could lose myself in today. Picking up _Great Expectations_ by Charles Dickens, I turned and made my way to the couch, plumping the cushion before settling down to rest my back upon it, and putting my legs up. I hadn't even got past Pip's brief introduction of how he became known as Pip before the shrill ring of my mobile disturbed me. Stretching, I wriggled my fingers in some hope that I could perhaps make my fingers longer so I could reach it off the coffee table, and cheered when I succeeded just before it rang off.

"Hello?" I answered, not bothering to check the caller ID.

"I thought something had happened to you then, I was about to come rushing round!" Alice fussed, and I rolled my eyes.

"No, not that. But how did you know I wasn't busy?"

After a brief pause, she faltered slightly. "Oh. OH! Are you and Carlisle…"

I cut her off with my giggle. "No, he's at work, but I wish we were!"

"Oh, you're hilarious," she muttered sarcastically, and I giggled again.

"I know. So what's up?" I asked as I turned my book over and laid it page down on the table.

"Well, I was calling to see if anything had happened, but I guess not."

"Awww, thanks. But no, nothing yet," I sighed.

"Frustrating. Did Carlisle find out what we were up to yesterday?"

I found myself nodding as I laughed. "He revealed all this morning, also adding that he had his own theories, and we shall try said theories tonight."

"Sounds juicy! Well, just take it easy, and if you need anything, let me know."

"Well, I was planning on going for a jog. Fancy coming round to tie my shoelaces that I can't see?" I joked.

"Oh, you are on fire today," Alice replied, and I laughed again.

"Honestly, Alice - I'll let you know if something happens. I'm sat, feet up, reading Dickens. I am fine."

"Okay then. I'll still check later."

"Looking forward to it," I replied, and we said goodbye.

I had just reached Chapter 30 – Pip was making plans to travel into London by the midday coach when my phone rang again. Honestly, if that was Alice again, I'd kill her. This time I had left it by my side for easy reach, and I turned it over to look at the ID. "Dr. Whitehouse's Office" it said.

"Hello," I answered for the second time that morning.

"Good afternoon, Miss Swan," he greeted, and I quickly looked to the clock on the mantle to check the time – sure enough, it was 2pm. "How are you today?" he continued.

"Frustrated. Huge. Tired. But I'm okay," I replied, and he chuckled.

"I have no doubt. This baby is certainly hanging on in there! What about movements – have you felt many?"

"There are less than there were two day ago, but still active enough," I told him, and I heard him hum in approval.

"It could be your baby getting ready. Sometimes they go a little quieter just before the big event! Okay, here's what I want to do – I'm willing to leave you tonight and see if anything happens. If it does, you know what to do. If not, come in tomorrow at 10am, we'll do an examination and look to induce you. Does that sound okay?"

"Erm...yes, that sounds – great, thanks," I said, suddenly feeling a little overwhelmed.

"Okay, then. I hope to see you and that baby soon, Miss Swan. I'll get a message to Dr. Cullen that you can contact me any time if you have any questions."

"Okay, thank you."

"Goodbye."

I put the phone down by my side again. It suddenly felt so real. Either way, I would soon be having this baby – I'd heard all kinds of stories about ripping, emergencies, complications, and I began to panic a little. Taking deep breaths, I calmed myself. I was being silly. If I was still worrying later, I'd talk to Carlisle.

That reminded me – I needed to go freshen up before meeting him. Placing my bookmark, I put the book down on the table and headed upstairs to the bathroom. I splashed my face and spritzed some perfume before heading back down, grabbing a jacket and my bag and heading out the door.

It was only a 20 minute walk to the restaurant, and I couldn't help but think about how much Alice would kill me if she saw me now. Waiting out the front and leaning against his car, his shirt sleeves rolled up, was my gorgeous man. As I approached him, his smile mirrored mine, and I couldn't wait to kiss him. His lips were so soft against mine - I didn't ever want to part from them – well, unless he was using them to talk to me. Carlisle had such a velvety smooth voice…

"How was your morning?" he asked, breaking away from the kiss.

"It dragged. Yours?" I asked as we turned to the building, his hand taking mine.

"Same," he replied as we began walking towards it.

As we reached the doors, I stopped. Turning to face him, my hands held his head as my thumbs stroking his cheek. "Why don't we just skip dinner and go straight to dessert?" I asked, and he chuckled.

"Well, it sounds perfect. But I might not have much in the way of stamina if I don't eat," he told me, and I pouted as we turned back.

Inside, the hostess showed us to our table for two and handed us the menus. Carlisle ordered our drinks before turning to talk to me. "Dr. Whitehouse contacted me today. Said he had phoned you."

"Yeah, if nothing happens tonight, he wants me to go in and be induced tomorrow," I relayed. Even I could tell my voice seemed so detached there, so I knew Carlisle would pick up on it. And I was right.

His head snapped up, and he stared at me. I tried to smile, but it was a poor effort. He opened his mouth to ask me something, but our waiter interrupted as he placed the drinks down.

"Ready to order?" he asked, and I nodded, opting for a salad. Carlisle's stern look told me I was supposed to order something hot off the menu, so in the en,d I had the vegetable fajitas, and he nodded his approval.

Ah, so one of his theories was spicy food…

As the waiter disappeared, Carlisle caught my attention. "Are you okay?" he asked. I knew I couldn't lie, and I really didn't want to. As he shuffled closer to me, I saw the worried expression he wore. "What aren't you telling me?" he asked, but I shook my head.

"It's nothing like that," I assured him, "I'm just getting nervous now – it's dawning on me how big of a deal this is," I admitted, and his expression smoothed out, relief written all over him.

He sighed as he took my hand, squeezing it lightly. "It's natural. But don't forget, I will be there with you all the way," he reassured me.

I smiled weakly. "What did I do to deserve an amazing man like you?" I whispered, and he leaned closer.

"I don't understand what I did to deserve you, but we're together. Nothing will pull us apart. I love you."

"I love you, too," I grinned, and we sat back, talking about our day.

xXx

As we came through the front door, his hands were all over me, and my body tingled with anticipation. In no time at all, we were upstairs - Carlisle taking slow, small steps backwards pulling me with him, a sexy grin on that gorgeous face.

Standing at the foot of the bed, I moved my hands to begin undoing his belt, but he removed them, and shook his head. "It's about you," he whispered and led me onto the bed. Propping the pillows against the headboard, I leaned back as Carlisle moved down my body, taking my skirt and underwear with him.

Settling between my legs, he moved to pull my top off, the material tickling me slightly as it brushed over me. Carlisle took his time as he littered my bump and collarbone with kisses that barely touched me, but ignited my body with their meaning. Carlisle showed me that no matter what, he still found me attractive, and it made me feel sexy. His hand slipped around my back as he undid my bra, now kissing my lips. His hand ran up my back and over my shoulder, until he took the strap with his fingers, kissing my skin where he had just been. My breathing got louder, and I could feel his smile on my skin.

Sticking his tongue out slightly, he left a wet trail along my collarbone to my bare breasts as he discarded the bra. His tongue left another trail to my hard, waiting nipples, and he looked up, watching me as his tongue flicked it. I bit down on my lip as my hips bucked slightly, and he took my entire nipple in, humming as he sucked, the vibrations sending me wild.

My hands thrust into his hair as he moved onto the other, doing the same. As he switched from one to the other, his free hand caressed the other, and I felt just how wet he was making me. I could feel my orgasm building, but I also wanted to feel him inside me – so, moving my hand to his shoulders, I pulled slightly. Carlisle looked up again, and understanding, he moved up to meet me face to face.

We didn't speak as I undid his trousers before slipping mine off, Carlisle removing his as well. Lying on my side, he curled up behind me, already hard. Holding one hand above our heads, he used the other to gently push inside me, a welcoming pleasure burning through me. As he began to thrust, his arm slid over my side, and his fingers gently flicked and rubbed my nipples. My orgasm had been building for so long I wasn't sure how long I could hold on as his thrusts got quicker. I could hear him panting, moaning, as I felt his hot ragged breath on the back of my neck, my eyes rolled before closing.

"Oh God, Carlisle!" I moaned as he whispered from behind.

"Are you ready?"

I nodded quickly, and with a few final thrusts, we both released - our gasps and groans loud. Bodies sweaty, we lay together - the only movement the rise and fall of our chests.

xXx

My eyes flicking open quickly, I squinted into the darkness. Carlisle must have switched the light out at some point. We were also covered by the sheet – what a shame. He still lay behind me, curled up with an arm draping on my waist. I smiled remembering our evening, when the reason for my waking struck again – my stomach cramping slightly.

I carefully slid out of the bed and tiptoed across the room to our bathroom, switching the light on as I stepped in. Grabbing my dressing gown, I wrapped it around me looking back at Carlisle. He was now leaning on one elbow, rubbing his eyes.

"Are you oky?" he asked, his voice croaky, and he coughed to clear his throat.

"Fine," I whispered, pulling the door closed a little. "I was just going to the little girls room. Go back to sleep," I told him as I felt another small cramp.

He inhaled and exhaled noisily and fell back on the pillows with a soft, feathery thud. I turned back into the bathroom just as I felt a huge movement in my stomach – it was like our baby did a somersault, but my legs buckled slightly and felt wet. My heart jumping in my chest, I called out in a stutter. "C-C… Carlisle!" I managed to yell.

I heard his feet hit the floor with a thud, and his quick footsteps move towards me before he stopped outside the door.

"Quick! Come in!" I added, and the door swung open.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked, panicked.

"I think my water just broke – I woke up with cramps, and…"

"Bella! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Honestly, I thought it was… because of the food!" I exclaimed, beginning to panic.

He looked into my eyes, seeing my fear, and took a deep breath. "It's okay. Just breathe," he urged, and I began to take deep breaths. "Okay, how often are the contractions?" he asked, and my mouth popped open a little. "Bella…" he pressed when I didn't answer.

I knew rational thought had taken over, and right now he was being Dr. Cullen. I hesitated. "10 minutes, maybe?" I hadn't really thought to time them.

"Okay, go and get changed, I'll phone the hospital and tell them we're coming" he said, and I numbly walked back into the bedroom pulling draws open to find clothes.

I could hear the echo of his conversation on the phone and his promise to be there soon, before he joined me, finding his own clothes and getting my pre-packed hospital bag. Grabbing our phones from the night stand, we headed down to the car. I could tell by the look on Carlisle's face and in his eyes how excited he was - I just felt nervous.

As promised, I let Alice know what was happening. "NOW" was the simple, quick text I sent and within minutes she was calling me back.

"Are you okay?" she asked in a whisper.

"Honestly – no." Out the corner of my eye I saw Carlisle look round to steal a glance.

"I'll be there soon, okay?" she replied, but I protested.

"Carlisle is with me, you'll just be sat in a cold waiting room going insane. Stay at home and rest," I insisted.

She agreed, but I doubted she'd actually do it. As I put the phone down, I cramped up again, this time it was more painful.

"7 minutes," Carlisle muttered to himself, obviously timing my contractions.

Finally, we pulled up outside the hospital, and Carlisle cut the engine, quickly jumping out with my bag and rushing round to help me. Hitting the fob, he jogged to the entrance to grab me a wheelchair and hurried back. I began to shake my head, but he stared at me sternly, and I reluctantly agreed. The security guard, knowing Carlisle well, agreed to watch the illegally parked car until Carlisle could leave to move it, and we rushed inside.

Up at maternity, Dr. Whitehouse was waiting while I was admitted - now contracting every 6 minutes.

"It just came on suddenly," I explained, and he nodded as he prepared to examine me. Carlisle stood by my side, holding my hand tightly.

"Yes – we're nearly fully dilated. Bella, if you feel the need to push, you need to tell us."

I wobbled my head in some fashion to respond and turned back to Carlisle, squeezing his hand tightly as my contractions got stronger. As I lay my head back on the pillow, Carlisle stroked my hair, and I closed my eyes as another contraction came stronger.

It felt like forever until the moment came when I wanted to push. Screaming, I tried to hold off until the doctor arrived.

"Okay, Bella. Don't hold back anymore – when you feel a contraction coming, I want you to push."

I nodded, breathing deeply as I felt another contraction coming. Leaning closer to me, Carlisle pressed his head against mine.

"I'm here," he whispered, and with all I had, I pushed. The pain coursed through me – too late to accept any pain relief – and by the time I caught my breath, I was ready to push again. Gripping the bed sheets beside me, I screamed through another push.

"Come on, Bella, nearly there," I heard the doctor say, spurring me on. Taking deep, panting breaths, I got ready for the next push.

"The head is crowning! Just one more big push!" he urged.

I was so tired, my head flopped backwards onto the pillow, and I whimpered in pain.

"Come on, sweetheart," Carlisle whispered, and dragging myself up again, I put all my energy and will power into this push, praying it really would be the last. With my loudest scream yet, I pushed hard, feeling the sweat drip down my face. I was in so much pain; I didn't think I could go on. I was – burning almost.

But something changed that.

In just a second, I went from feeling excruciating pain to feeling the rush of love as I heard a gurgled cry.

"Congratulations – you have a baby girl," the doctor announced, and Carlisle kissed my head before stepping over to see the baby they held up.

Taking a peek, I saw blood, and that she was kind of blue, but I was quickly assured it was all normal as Carlisle took the opportunity to cut the cord. Quickly taking her, they began to rub her on a table as I struggled to look around – I wanted to see her face.

Carlisle was back by my side, his hand stroking my face, and I could see the trail his tears had left. "I am so proud of you," he whispered, and we shared a tear-stained kiss full of joy and love.

"8lb, 5oz," the nurse noted as she lifted our girl off the scales.

Wrapping her in a blanket, they came over to my side and gently passed her over.

As I held this tiny human in my arms, I couldn't help the sob that escaped. Her earlier panicked breathing had calmed as she settled in my arms. She was –

"So beautiful," Carlisle whispered, as though he had been reading my mind. Our heads pressed together again, and we looked down on our daughter, and I saw his hand come towards her, his thumb gently brushing over her tiny hands. I couldn't believe I had created this perfect little human. I could however, believe Carlisle had.

"Would Daddy like a cuddle?" I said, turning to look at Carlisle, and his answering grin was breathtaking. Love and happiness radiated from him, and I couldn't help but feel blessed to have my small family, to have Carlisle. They completed me.

He held her close as he gently swayed just staring at her, his grin never fading.

"Does she have a name?" the nurse asked, and I looked at Carlisle. We hadn't talked about baby names much, and some we didn't entirely agree on. But one we had both left in there, suddenly seemed so perfect for her. It had just been a name we had liked, but would perhaps now be special.

"Isla?" I suggested, looking up at him and he nodded.

"It's perfect," he agreed, repeating her name as he stroked her face. "Isla Cullen."

Lying back, I stared with pride bursting from me as I watched him talk to her. There were no words in the world that described this feeling.

It wasn't long until there was a knock at the door, and Alice poked her head around.

"Congratulations!" she beamed, and in she came with Jasper in tow.

Walking over she hugged me tightly as I thanked her, and Jasper did the same before they walked around, standing on tip toe behind Carlisle to look at her.

"Oh she's adorable!" Alice gushed, and Carlisle offered her a hold.

Agreeing, she took her safely in her arms and smiled some more. Coming to sit next to me on the bed, Carlisle wrapped his arm around me, and as I rested my head on him, we watched Alice and Jasper as they rocked her. About to turn away, I noticed Jaspers hand curl around Alice's hip until it rested on her stomach.

"Bella, I need to tell you something," Alice started, wiping a tear away as she handed Isla to me.

"Okay," I replied and waited for her response.

"I'm pregnant – Jasper and I are having a baby!"

I gasped, a smile spreading as I reached one arm out for her.

"Yeah, I took a test today - I was already over a month!" she beamed. Taking my hand, tears began to flow as we congratulated them. As they talked and took photos, I tried not to show how tired I was – but it was hard to contain the yawns, and my eye lids were so heavy.

"Hey listen, congratulations again! How about we leave you to some rest?" Alice suggested with a wink, and I smiled appreciatively. "See you soon, baby," she cooed over Isla before giving us goodbye hugs and leaving.

Leaning my head back, I yawned again. "Here," Carlisle's silky voice soothed as Isla left my arms. I watched with heavy eyes as he moved her to the cot next to me and tucked her into her tiny blanket. Giving her a small kiss, he turned to me before coming over, sitting next to me again on the bed, and wrapped and arm around me.

"I love you," he whispered.

I felt my lazy nod as I tried to reply, but my eyes lost the battle and closed, a satisfied hum rumbling from me.

**Let me know what you think... if you want... x**


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: As usual, i don't own anything to do with twilight...

A/N: Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed and alerted the last chapter. I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

And a BIG thank you must go out to Nachos4Children for putting up with me, listening to my rambling and for putting up with editing my chapters! I really appreciate all you do for me darling x

* * *

**Chapter 21**

I sat at the messy table and gazed at my daughter with a huge grin across my face. I watched as she painted her hand, then pressed it to the page, smiling when she saw the print she had made. Sprinkling some glitter onto it, she clapped for herself, and I clapped, too. Picking it up, I stood up to hang it from the line around the room to dry, as she pulled a plain piece of paper out from the drawer beside us and some crayons, and began to draw.

As I stood, I looked around the room – it was painted brightly and was just about full. Against one whole wall stood all of Isla's toys – she had a playhouse, a kitchen, dolls and pushchairs, a rail full of dressing up clothes and feather boas. The next wall had the window in the middle covered by a blind, surrounded by some of Isla's best pictures, including her first – it was like a little gallery for our little artist. Along the third wall sat a bean bag chair and some cushions scattered on the floor near a wall lamp and shelves full of books.

Isla loved to hear stories, and was already working on reading to herself – books that she knew well were easy for obvious reasons – she just remembered the story. Others, she would use the pictures to tell the story - I adored her imagination. Finally, in this last corner, near the arch that lead into the kitchen/diner, was the art area. Here, sat Isla's table and chairs and a huge cupboard full of paints, glitter, paper, crayons, and sticky bits for Isla's creations. From the arch way, hung fairy lights in white netting, and from there a washing line of sorts hung around the room with pegged up paintings. It was such a beautiful room, and my favourite of the whole house – it was full of fun and laughter. Okay, maybe mine and Carlisle's own room was tied for first too.

Sat at this messy little table, scribbling away dressed in a pretty pink fairy outfit complete with wings, was one of the most precious people in my life – Isla. Her long, fair, curly hair hung to her shoulders. I'd never cut it once - I couldn't bring myself to do it. Her bright blue eyes twinkled when she laughed or smiled and reminded me so much of her father's. I thought she looked so much like him, but people would often stop us in the street or park for a chat and tell me how she was the image of me. I was sure it was just something polite parents said to each other. Isla was girly, and we were complete opposites in that respect, but still so close. I loved how she knew herself – she was independent, knew what she wanted and how to get it.

She was obviously close to her Aunty Alice – they would shop together until they were kicked out of the store sometimes! She loved playing hide and seek with Uncle Jasper – he would spend hours 'looking' for her while she sat in such an obvious place, giggling away. And there was no escaping her and her best friend, Jacob. Alice and Jasper had given birth to a baby boy when Isla was just 8 months old, and ever since he could crawl along next to her, they had been almost inseparable. Some weekends he stayed with us, some weekends Isla stayed with them.

More than anything though, Isla was a complete daddy's girl. She loved nothing more than settling into Carlisle's lap, holding her tatty rabbit teddy by the ear and sucking her thumb as he read to her. She didn't care if Carlisle was reading one of his books (leaving anything inappropriate out of course), the newspaper, or one of her stories - she would sit and listen to him intently, and Carlisle loved it, too. Sometimes at night, she would fall asleep in his lap, but he would keep her there, just gently stroking her hair as she slept.

I was so happy, it sometimes felt unreal.

"Look, Mommy! I drew you and Dada!" she exclaimed, holding up a beautiful drawing of Momma and Dada surrounded by flowers and scribbles that I knew resembled butterflies.

"That's very pretty. Dada will love it. One for the fridge?" I asked her, and she nodded excitedly.

"I don't think that fridge has any more room," Carlisle laughed, and we both spun round to find him leaning in the arch way with a huge smile.

Seeing him, Isla's face lit up, and she ran towards him. Carlisle pushed off the wall and stood straight, his arms reaching out, ready for her big jump. She snuggled close to him, and he held her tight, his eyes closed as he kissed her shoulder. Moving back, he kissed her cheek and swivelled her round so she almost sat on his hip as he took the picture from me, holding it up to examine.

"Hmm. I'm not sure this should go on the fridge," he said, and she turned to him, her tiny eyebrows creased.

"Why not?" she asked, her voice a little deeper than her usual sing-song chime.

"Well, I think it should be framed and hung up where everyone can see it - it's that special," he smiled, and the grin returned to Isla's face, her pink cheeks glowing above her little dimples.

"I love you, Dada," she said as she buried her face in his neck, her arms wrapped tightly around it.

"I love you, more," he whispered, hugging her back. Pulling back, he looked so intently at her as he brushed a curl from her face.

"Dada, can I watch princesses, please?" she asked sweetly, and the chuckle he gave told me there was no way he'd resist her.

"Yes, you may, sweetheart," he replied, and setting her down, he followed her as she skipped to the living room.

Looking at the clock on the wall, I wondered where Alice and Jacob were – Jasper was out of town, so I'd invited them for dinner. I didn't want to subject Jacob to his mom's cooking after all…

From the living room, I could hear Cinderella start up, and Carlisle came back into the kitchen, walking up behind me at the stove and wrapping his strong arms around my waist.

"Good evening, beautiful," he whispered in my ear, sending all kinds of tingling sensations through my body. I couldn't help the great big grin that I wore.

"Evening. How was your day?" I asked as he moved away, and I fought the urge to complain.

"Oh, you know, cuts and bruises," he replied as he began to set the table.

Lifting the lid of the pan to check on dinner, my eyes rolled before closing as the sweet scent of a rich red wine sauce floated up into my airways. Replacing the lid, I walked over to Carlisle who was just setting the glasses out. Rubbing his back with one hand, my other put a small amount of pressure on his left arm in an effort to turn him around. Putting the last glass down, he turned to me, and I ran my hands over his chest and up to his shoulders, pulling him in for a hug.

"Are you okay,?" I asked, and he mumbled a yes.

Leaning back, he took my cheek to his right palm and smiled adoringly at me. "I'm so proud of you both – " he started, but at that moment an excited 3 year old burst into the kitchen shouting for Isla.

Stepping away from Carlisle, I made my way to the little jumping bean as Alice came through the door, arms full – a designer handbag hanging off one, Jake's backpack on the other, and her right hand holding a bottle of wine. She sighed as she handed Carlisle the wine, kissing his left cheek as they greeted each other.

"Aunty Bella, where's Isla?" Jake asked as I picked him up and held him on my hip.

"Where's my kiss?" I asked, and he made a disgusted face. Jutting my bottom lip out, I pretended to be sad. Giggling, Jake kissed my cheek quickly, and I set him down. "Living room," I whispered as I playfully tapped his legs, and he ran off to her. Standing, I turned to greet Alice with a hug, glancing at Carlisle over her shoulder.

As we all sat down to dinner, Isla and Jacob laughed while we talked about our upcoming holiday.

"We booked the villa and flights, so we don't have to worry about that," Carlisle mentioned, and Alice thanked him.

"Jasper's going to sort out car hire," she told us, and Jake smiled.

"Mickey's house!" he said excitedly.

We had all decided it would be a good idea to get away to Disneyland, and I couldn't wait to have a lovely holiday with Carlisle. It would also be our first with Isla.

Alice didn't have much else to say – after telling me about the committee, shopping, and us swapping stories of our children, she left with a sleepy-looking Jake, and we promised to see each other soon.

Carlisle offered to clean up while I bathed Isla, and then he read her a bedtime story. I sat on the sofa downstairs, listening to them on the monitor. Now there would be no interruptions, and it wasn't long until I heard his footsteps on the stairs, and the living room door open.

Sitting next to me, he placed a hand on my leg and sighed, his head hung back. I turned in my seat, ready with questions, but the way he was looking at me made me falter. Before I knew it, he had me in a passionate embrace, and we were kissing. My resolve weakened, and I kissed him back, allowing his tongue to slip into my mouth.

Groaning, I pulled back. "Carlisle…" I started, but he wrapped his fingers through my hair and gently pulled me towards him.

"Later," he whispered before kissing me again and running a hand up my leg causing me to moan a little. He certainly knew how to distract me, and as I moved my hand into his hair, I couldn't get enough of him. We were pulling at each other's clothes, paying no attention to where they ended up in the room, so long as we were not wearing them.

Feeling his big, hard cock beneath me, I stroked him, teasing him as I bit down on his lip. Growling a little, Carlisle grabbed hold of my hips, pushing himself up and carrying me a few steps before laying me on the rug that lay in the room. Raising one hand and gently stroking my cheek, he leaned to my ear. "I love you," he whispered, and as I whispered my reply, he pushed himself into my already wet and waiting center, causing me to gasp in pleasure.

He slowly moved inside me, and I wrapped my legs around his back allowing him in deeper. He kissed along my collarbone, my neck, my jaw as I moaned with each thrust, my body tingling with pleasure. My nails dug into and scraped along his back as his mouth and tongue took to my nipple, and I roughly pulled his head up to kiss my mouth.

Stopping and pulling back, I quickly turned around. Leaning on all fours, I waited for him to enter me again, and he did so gently, before picking up speed and thrusting into me hard. I fought to not scream out as I felt my orgasm building like the rumble of thunder before a storm. Softly i moaned his name as he moaned mine,thrusting harder still, until my body caved - my orgasm exploded, the buzz from it sending goosebumps all over my skin. My head lagging forward, I panted as I continued to ride it out, and Carlisle's began. His hands tightly gripped my hips as his bucked a few last times before he collapsed next to me, a smile filling his features.

Turning on my side, I curled up to him, my head resting on his chest as his arm wrapped round me. "Carlisle…" I tried again, but his arm squeezed me a little, so I dropped it. It was nothing, and that wasn't important.

xXxXx

I felt someone prodding me and forced my eyes open. There beside me, bright-eyed, stood my little angel. I picked her up and lifted her into the bed between Carlisle and myself. She giggled as she wiggled under the covers, and Carlisle opened one eye, a grin appearing.

"Well, good morning, beautiful," he said, kissing her forehead.

She giggled again before turning to me, cupping her hands around my ear whispering, "Can we do Dada Break-Break?" and I nodded, pulling the covers off and getting out of bed. Isla instructed Carlisle to stay put, and he winked, promising he would. Taking my hand, we made our way down to the kitchen and began to prepare breakfast.

With it all cooked and on a tray, we headed back upstairs, Isla a little messy from pancake mix. She climbed back into the bed as Carlisle sat up, and she passed him the newspaper she had picked up while we were downstairs. Wrapping his arm around her, he began reading the headlines, often picking at the pancakes or fruit, and Isla would at the same time. Watching them was something beautiful, and I could do it for hours. I couldn't believe what I had got and often prayed nothing would separate me from them.

x


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: STILL Don't own Twilight

A/N: Once again, a huge thank you to everyone reading and reviewing - you guys are making me happy!

So here's the next chapter, i do hope you enjoy!

Lots of love and kisses to my beta Nachos4children. Heaven knows this would be a mess without her! x

Just want to quickly add, If you would like, take a look here:

.net/u/2724933/

What-Rocks-My-World-Contest. Have a read and don't forget to vote for your Fave story!

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**Chapter 22**

Rubbing my eyes, I looked into the empty space beside me in the bed. Carlisle had been working nights all week. I glanced at the clock on the bedside table – it was a little after 7am, which meant Carlisle would be home soon.

Quietly, I got out of bed and padded to the bathroom to take a quick shower before getting dressed and heading down to the kitchen. Flicking the coffee machine on, I began to make breakfast, and it wasn't long before Isla was shouting me from the top of the stairs – I knew she could easily handle them, but I still had the stair gates in place. Rushing up, I got her down, and she sat at the kitchen table with her morning cup of milk. When she heard the door click shut, she ran into the hallway, milk-stache intact, to greet her daddy.

Walking into the kitchen, our beautiful girl on his hip, he greeted me with a kiss before we sat down and tucked into breakfast. Carlisle would always join us for breakfast off a night shift, no matter how tired he was. Since nothing much would have happened while he'd been at work, he would ask Isla about her dreams. Isla didn't remember her dreams, but she knew how much Daddy enjoyed listening to them, so she would invent such wild stories for us to enjoy. And she would pack so much in.

Today, she told of her 'dream' that involved a king and Queen in England who lost their crown. She had heard about England from Carlisle, who was born in its capital, London, and from a story book he once read to her, and she loved it. Buckingham Palace - somewhere a real King and Queen lived - that she desperately wanted to visit. She had once asked if Carlisle was the king of England, and if that made her their princess. Carlisle had chuckled, his eyes closing slightly as his head tilted back.

"Not of England, sweetheart, but of this house – yes." and she happily accepted that.

When we had finished, Isla made her way to the play room where I could hear her pretending her dolls were kings and queens. I smiled to myself as I filled the dishwasher. Shutting the fridge door, Carlisle sighed, first leaning against it, then standing up and stretching before rubbing his neck.

Walking up behind him, I placed a hand on his shoulder, and he turned, a small smile playing on his lips. "You look tired," I observed.

His eyes wore dark circles, and he looked a little paler than usual. "Just one of those nights," he replied as he pulled me closer, kissing me tenderly.

"Go to bed. I can finish up here," I told him, and he kissed me again.

"Love you," he whispered, our foreheads pressed together.

"Love you, too," I replied before we broke apart. I went to the sink, grabbing cleaner and a cloth, as Carlisle went to the play room for a cuddle and kiss with Isla first.

Once Carlisle was in bed and most of the kitchen had been cleaned, I helped Isla get dressed. She picked her favourite cord red dress and grey tights to go with her white shoes. Plaiting her hair and securing it with some cute clips, we made our way downstairs, and she put her coat and hat on as I put mine on. Turning to get my gloves, I noticed in the mirror's reflection, a stain on my coat. Rats, I wouldn't be able to wear that now. Pulling it off, I walked to the empty washing machine and put it on a delicate wash before heading back to the hall. Having no choice, I grabbed Carlisle's coat and slipped into it. Holding hands, we set out to play group.

Isla started play group when she was 2 years old. She attended 3 mornings and one afternoon - the main purpose being for her to get socialised, the other so that I would have time to write and clean. Jake went with her, and they loved their time there. Running down the path, she laughed as we met up with Jake and Alice.

"Still on for coffee this morning?" she asked.

"Of course," I replied as we walked into the building, and Isla turned to me. "See you later, baby," I said, kissing her quickly and giving her a big hug.

"Love you, mommy," she replied, and after Jake and Alice shared the same moment, they walked off into playgroup holding hands.

"I've got to rush to meet Jasper at the airport, but I'll see you at the coffee house later, okay?" and I nodded letting her rush off down the road.

Back at home, I quietly finished the house work and was about to grab a coat to go out, when the post came through the door. Seeing a few bills that were due, I threw them to the side to deal with later - only taking my credit card bill – I needed to hide it from Carlisle. After all, I didn't want him finding out what I'd got him for Christmas. But then I noticed another letter addressed to me in a familiar hand. Swallowing hard, I quickly turned it over and opened it. Pulling it out, I unfolded the piece of lined paper and began to read.

_Isabella,_

_I've written so many apologies to many people, but none were as hard as this._

_I overused a certain word for a long time, and for lots of people - it means nothing coming from me now, but for the first time in too long, I finally understood the meaning of it. I actually feel it._

_I am sorry._

_I am truly sorry for, and deeply regret, my actions, and all the pain I caused. I want to tell you just how proud I am of you for having the courage to stand up to me._

_I'm happy I got to spend a part of my life with you, and I feel blessed, even though I don't deserve to. But I am happy that you found someone - someone who treats you as you deserve, someone who makes YOU happy. I sincerely wish you all the best._

_I'm not searching for your forgiveness because I do not deserve it, and I'll never be able to forgive myself for what I did to you - for pushing you away and treating you so disrespectfully. Because I honestly did love you… as the cliché goes, I know that - now that I've lost you. I just had to let you know how sorry I was, and that I will never, ever forget the best moments of our relationship - the happy times. They will stay forever burned into my heart._

_Wishing you all the best_

_Edward_

I blinked several times inbetween four re-readings of the letter. Quickly, I shoved it into my pocket and left.

Alice had just got the coffees when I arrived, and she began chatting away about an evening she had planned with Jasper once he'd rested. "...and so I bought something a little sexy. It's been a while since I've seen him…"

"Want us to have Jake?" I asked, guessing where she was going.

"Do you mind? We can have Isla for you tom...any time you want."

I frowned at her as she tried to avoid eye contact. "Alice Mary Brandon Whitlock – what are you up to?"

"Nothing! I told you, sexy night for me and Jazz. If you could have Jake for the night, I'll have Isla any other time."

"Tomorrow. You started saying tomorrow. What's happening tomorrow?"

"Nothing…" she muttered.

I shook my head. "I don't believe you for one second," I said, and she smiled wickedly.

"So, what has you so distracted?" she asked as I sipped from my cup.

"Distracted?" I repeated.

She nodded. "Very."

Sighing, I reached into my pocket and pulled the letter out. It was a crumpled ball now as I pushed it across the table, and Alice picked it up from the corner, smoothing it out to read.

"When did this come?" she asked after several minutes of silence.

"This morning."

"Do you believe him? Do you really think he's sorry?"

I paused for a moment before I answered. "I don't know. I don't think I've processed it yet. I think I'm just...shocked."

Alice sat in silence for a moment, staring at me. "Well, I don't believe him for one moment. He pulled the wool over my eyes for years; I won't let him do it again."

"Alice, it's not like that anymore," I muttered.

Alice looked at the letter for a moment, then back at me with a raised eyebrow. "You believe him, don't you?" she accused.

Snatching the letter back and stuffing it back into my pocket, I shook my head. "Alice, I don't know. It's been a long time – maybe he changed."

"I very much doubt it," she scoffed as she picked her mug up.

"Can we talk about something else, now that you know, please?" I asked as she took a sip.

"Sure, sure. So, does Carlisle know?" she asked, an eyebrow still cocked.

"Alice! Please!" I snapped.

"I'm sorry, I just – I don't know. Okay, I suppose I can't believe that after everything, you would trust Edward so easily and just – hide it from Carlisle."

"I'm not hiding it. He's been working nights. I'm not going to wake him to shove this in his face am I?"

"I didn't say shove it in his face. Are you going to tell him?"

I looked to the floor.

"And why on earth not?" she asked, her voice rising.

"Look, there's no point in getting him worked up over nothing! It's not like I'm ever going to see Edward again. It's not like were exchanging letters. It's one letter, out of the blue. I'll get rid of it, and that will be that."

Alice said nothing, but I could tell she wasn't pleased. We sat in silence, finishing our drinks before she finally spoke. "Come on, let's go get the kids," she said and we got up, grabbing our coats and heading out.

Xxx

Today was a usual Saturday. I did the house work, and Isla 'helped' while Carlisle popped into work to sort out a patient's records. He still looked so tired, and I tried to insist that for once, he not work and take some time out to maybe sleep some more. But he was having none of it. "_Bella, sweetheart, I really have to go in today. I promise, tonight, I'm all yours_" he had said before leaving. I sighed as the door closed and wished he wouldn't work so hard. I appreciated how much he loved his job, how hard he worked for us – but I hated seeing him so run down.

When Carlisle came home, Isla and I were snuggled on the sofa watching Beauty & the Beast. He kissed us both on the head with a huge smile and asked to see me in the kitchen.

Frowning, I followed him in where he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. "Get ready – were going out," he whispered in my ear as his tongue lightly played with it.

"Why – where are we going?" I asked, leaning back to look at him.

"It's the Christmas Ball," he smiled, and I smiled a little, too. "I thought we could go – dance like we did that night you finally kissed me," he whispered again. I could feel the bumps rise on my skin as I remembered.

"But – Isla," I said, glancing back at the living room.

"Alice will be round to pick her up soon," he answered.

It suddenly clicked. "That's what she meant!"

"What?" he asked, and I shook my head.

"She said if I had Jake for her last night, she'd have Isla today. Well, she started saying 'tomorrow,' but then stopped.

Carlisle chuckled a little as his hands moved down to my bum, giving it a little squeeze. "So - are you going to get ready and escort me to the ball, Miss Swan?" he asked, standing straight with his hands behind his back.

"I would love to, Dr. Cullen," I replied, quickly leaning forward to kiss his nose before heading upstairs.

Raiding my closet, I found a cute little red dress I had brought not long ago and the 'perfect pair of stilettos' Alice had promised would make my legs look amazing. Quickly, I showered and let my hair dry curly before applying some light make up. Carlisle loved me looking natural, and I felt more comfortable that way, too. Putting the dress on, I grabbed the shoes and a small purse and headed downstairs. Alice had just arrived, and we chatted while Carlisle got changed.

"How come you're not going with Jasper tonight?" I asked as I slipped my shoes on.

"Oooo – see? Good for your legs!" she complimented. I chuckled as she continued. "He's been away for a while, so we just wanted a night in. Besides, you and Carlisle need a night out, and you gave me my night last night."

"And I can see it did you a world of good" I replied.

"Why?" Alice asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

"You're not so much of a moody cow now," I told her with a wink.

"Ready?" Carlisle asked, and I turned to face him.

Gosh, he took my breath away. He looked amazing in his tux, a little red flower tucked into the pocket.

"Ready?" he asked again as he held his arm out, and I realised I hadn't answered - I'd just been staring. I wrapped my hand around it, and smiled as we said bye to Alice and left.

Walking down the grand staircase towards the great hall, I smiled as I looked at the decoration. "Are you okay?" he asked, giving my arm a little squeeze with his other.

"I'm fine I was just – remembering."

He leaned toward me and kissed my ear. "Me, too," he whispered.

Grinning at each other, we continued through the double doors and into the room.

The decorations hadn't changed much - they still had the glittering back drop and blue lights on stage, the band members were in the same tuxes, and everything was still white and sparkling.

As we neared the dance floor, people began to approach us. As Carlisle talked, I looked around the room – it was all doctor stuff that I couldn't really relate to. One doctor's wife began asking me about my writing, but she gave off the impression that she didn't actually care about my answer, so I excused myself and headed to the bar to grab a glass of champagne.

My mind flashed to that night all those years ago...making my way from the bathroom, his hand grabbing my arm, the dancing, the words we spoke to each other…

I looked over to where Carlisle stood, still being polite and nodding in the right places, but scanning the room with his eyes. It wasn't long before he spotted me, mouthing, 'sorry.' I nodded and smiled to reassure him before he turned back and continued his conversation. As the committee did their speech, I finished my drink, and as the applause erupted I made my way to the bathroom.

Looking at myself in the mirror and touching my lippy up, I couldn't help but notice something about myself: I looked so...happy, and I just knew it was because tonight, I wasn't worried about a thing. I had the man I loved just out there on the dance floor, and for the night, nothing else mattered.

Remembering what I had in my purse, I pulled it out and slipped it on.

I walked back out to the busy dance floor and noticed what song the band was playing – Michael Buble's Everything.

Making my way through the crowd, a familiar hand gripped me in that soothing way, and I turned with a smirk.

"Well, good evening, beautiful. May I have this dance?"

"You may – just the one, mind you. I must warn you - I am taken," I giggled as we danced.

"Well, isn't he a lucky guy?" he said, spinning me into him.

"I'm thinking of taking him home soon and showing him just how lucky he is," I winked before being spun back.

With one arm resting on his shoulder and the other holding his raised hand, we gently swayed together. "I would like that a lot," he replied with his own wink.

We watched each other closely as we danced, and I admired everything I saw. The way the light bounced off his gorgeous golden hair that was as beautiful as it was then.

"_I can't believe, oh that I'm your man, and I get to kiss you baby just because I can_" he sang softly in my ear, and I couldn't help the school girl giggle bubbling from within. His hand grazed across my skin from my side up, over my shoulder, up my neck, causing a pleasant shiver before he cupped my cheek, leaning down and kissing me.

His fingers lightly traced down my neck before lifting the necklace. "And what is this beautiful thing?"

"I know, I haven't worn it much," I said as he dropped the necklace he bought me all those Christmas' ago, back to my chest.

"I began to think you didn't like it," he replied, and we began to sway together again.

"Oh no, I love it! I just never wanted to lose it," I told him.

"Well, you should wear it more often," he whispered, kissing my collar bone.

After a few more dances and lots of laughter from us both, Carlisle suggested we go home early, and I couldn't wait to get him there.

We were like teenagers, the way we fell through the door laughing – and we'd barely had a drink. Kicking the door shut, he pushed me against the wall, kissing me fiercely as I shrugged from my coat. My hands ran all over him pulling his jacket off and undoing his shirt, as his hands tightly gripped my hips, our kisses deepening as he slipped his tongue in. Moving around clumsily, we somehow managed to get to the sofa, Carlisle collapsing back on it, me straddling him as I pulled at his shirt, ripping off that one last button. His kisses moved to my neck and shoulders, and he slipped my dress down.

"Oh… I'm sorry!"

Gasping, my head spun round to find Jasper with his back to us, his hands over his eyes. My arms shot up, my hands covering myself as he left the room, and Carlisle chuckled as I bit my lip in an effort not to laugh. Resting my head on his shoulder, I heard Jasper 'swap' with Alice and head on upstairs.

"Jazz, what…?"

Shaking her head and looking back, Alice backed into the living room and turned. Looking just as shocked as I probably did, she couldn't help but stand and stare in shock for a moment before shutting her eyes tightly and beginning a string of apologies. Blindly, she felt her way around trying to leave, and I laughed out loud when she bumped into the door, cursing. Shutting it behind her, I got up and pulled my dress back on before bending down and throwing Carlisle his shirt.

Leaning forward, he made a move to stand, but fell backwards, grimacing.

"Carlisle…" I started, taking a step closer to him.

"I'm fine," he smiled, but I wasn't convinced. Sitting next to him, I stroked his cheek and brought his face to mine.

"What's wrong?"

Laying his head back, he bit his lip for a moment. "I just have some pain, that's all. I'm okay," he reassured me.

"Oh, Carlisle, you could have said so. Here, sit back," I said, fluffing pillows behind him. "Sit back and I'll go sort this out." I got up, leaving him to lie back as I went to the hall.

"That was… I can't even…" Alice muttered, shaking her head. Clearing her throat, she raised her head to look at me looking at her through my lashes with a smirk. "Isla was sick and said her tummy hurt. So we brought her back. I tried to call, but then I thought I'd take advantage of that spare key I have."

"Thanks, Alice – I'm sorry."

She waved her hand and shook her head, and I could catch a glimpse of the smirk she was trying not to wear.

We took the stairs, two at a time, and found Isla, Jasper, and Jake in the bathroom.

"Er – sorry, Jasper," I apologised as my cheeks flushed bright red. I could tell he, too, was holding back a laugh, and we left it at that as he ran a cloth under the tap. Jake insisted on staying to help Isla because she was poorly, and they waited in her room while I quickly bathed her. Getting her in a clean pair of pj's, we went back into her room where she and Jake chose a book to read. They picked one of their favourites – The Cat in the Hat, and we all settled on her bed to read it, but it didn't take long until they both fell asleep.

Jasper took Jake in his arms and carried him downstairs, Alice following. I tucked Isla in, and left, just leaving the door ajar. Kissing Alice and Jasper goodbye, I returned to the living room, sat down, and sighed.

"What's this?" Carlisle asked.

"Hmm?" I asked, turning to look at him standing in the arch way.

My face fell as I noticed the crumpled letter he held in his hand.

_Ah, I knew there was something I was supposed to get rid of_.

"Where did you find that?" I asked.

"In my coat. I was looking for my keys," he replied.

Internally, I groaned. _I should learn to wear my own coat more often_, I thought to myself.

"It came yesterday," I explained, sitting up and moving to the edge of the sofa.

"Were you even going to tell me?" Carlisle asked. He sounded angry, and my brows furrowed at this.

"Well, I wasn't actually"

"Don't you think I should know if you're receiving letters from Edward?"

I shook my head, laughing a little. "Why? I was only going to get rid of it."

"Why?"

"Why what? It's just a letter, Carlisle!"

"You believe him, don't you?"

"You sound like Alice," I groaned as I rolled my eyes. Why were they accusing me of this?

"Not at all."

He stared at me for a few moments before shaking his head and putting the letter on the coffee table, then left.

I was starting to feel a little angry now about the way he and Alice were acting about a letter that was addressed to me. Getting up, I snatched the letter up and followed him.

"It's nothing, Carlisle. Just a scrap of paper as far as I'm concerned," I told him.

"Really? So why did you keep it?" He was leaning on the kitchen counter with one hand, his other in his pocket. I couldn't recall Carlisle looking so – angry with me.

"I told you I was going to get rid of it"

"And just hide it from me? Bella, it's obvious you believe him."

"Jeez, you really do sound like Alice," I muttered. "I wasn't trying to keep anything from you, Carlisle! Honestly, it had skipped my mind!"

"Alice? Alice knows, but not me?" he said, ignoring my last statement.

"Do I have to tell you about every scrap of mail I receive?" I asked rhetorically.

"Not every scrap, but don't you think it concerns me when your psycho ex that abused you and tried to kill you twice, is sending you mail?"

Our voices were raised and he was standing forward now, his hands flying everywhere as he spoke. I could feel the tears threatening to fall.

"It's just a letter, and it means nothing. Admittedly, I did feel something – it must have taken a lot of courage for him to write this, and if you ask me, it feels like he means it for once. But I guess that's my problem, isn't it? I just see the good in everything. Yes, I want to believe him, but it doesn't mean anything to me. It's not like I'm going to reply, and we're suddenly going to become pen pals!" Tearing it up as I took deep calming breaths, I threw it in the recycling bin. "After everything Carlisle, I thought we were stronger than this – arguing over a stupid letter. Do you really think I'm dumb enough to let him near me again?"

He sighed heavily as I turned away. Without another word, I made my way to our bedroom.

Walking into the bathroom, I wiped a tear from my eye. I made quick work of getting ready for bed - slipping under the covers, turning the lamp on, and picking my book up.

It was an hour before Carlisle came up to bed, and he was silent as he then, got ready for bed.

As he climbed into bed, I didn't say a word, just sat there reading. I could feel him move closer and then felt his hand rub my shoulder as he kissed it lightly.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I overreacted, I just – Bella, I love you so much, and I can't stand the thought of that creep…"

I put my book to the side and felt his hand moving round the back of my neck, his fingers beginning to make steps across my chest til he laid his palm flat and pulled me into him. Resting my hands on his arm, I closed my eyes.

"I love you, too, I just – look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the letter, but I knew it would...anger you. I didn't want to do that or upset you. Honestly, it means nothing to me."

He was gently hushing me as he shook his head. "You don't need to be sorry. Can you forgive me for being so childish and – well, jealous?"

"Why on earth would you be jealous?" I asked, frowning at him as I sat forward and turned to face him.

His other fingers were lightly tracing up and down my arm as he spoke. "I love you Bella. It was just a sudden, unexplainable jealous moment. He tried this kind of thing before, and he tried to take you away from me – I don't want that again."

I stroked a cheek. "Carlisle Cullen. You gave me everything – you gave me my strength, you gave me my confidence, you showed me love, and you gave me that precious little girl sleeping down the hall. I could never love any man as much as I love you. And I'm telling you now, we're together forever, til death do us part."

His gorgeous eyes roamed my face until they held mine in that captivating way, and I saw the small grin before he pulled me close to him for a warm embrace. "I love you with everything I have, Isabella Swan," he said softly as he stroked my hair. "Now, what are we reading?" he asked picking my book up from behind my back.


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight. Credit goes to S.M

**A/N:  
**Thank you guys so much for the alerts and reviews! Its very much appreciated!

Ok, so this is a big chapter - i really hope you enjoy it!

A big thanks to my girl Nachos4children. A big pain in my ass as i am her's, but we love it ;) Thanks for all your help Sweetcheeks Xx

So, here we go! Happy reading!

* * *

**Chapter 23**

Leaning against the arch way to the dining room, I silently watched Carlisle and Isla sitting on the sofa reading. He sat in the middle of the sofa, his book leaning on his crossed legs, and Isla to his right, her feet barely reaching off the end of the cushion, her book laying open on her legs as well.

"Care to join us?" Carlisle asked, not looking up from the page he was reading, but his own smile appeared as he acknowledged my presence.

Pushing myself off the wall using my shoulder, I joined them, grabbing my own book from the coffee table. I wiggled down into a comfortable position and opened my book, Carlisle's hand running over my legs. I smiled again, breathing a small laugh as I thought about how much this simple moment meant to me, and for a brief moment, Carlisle glanced up at me.

He was tired and pale, and his eyes looked heavy, but he was beautiful to me all the same. Reaching forward a little, I rubbed a hand affectionately over his arm, and warmness filled his eyes for a moment, a moment that I tried to hold onto. With a slight squeeze to my leg, he looked away and continued reading, occasionally lifting a hand and gently dipping the tip of his finger to his tongue before turning the page. I doubted I had read much of the book - I was so distracted by him and the simplest of his movements.

I didn't know how much time had passed when Carlisle's book suddenly snapped shut. Isla looked up to him as he wrapped an arm around her, her eyes sparkling as she watched him move closer, whispering in her ear. "How would you like to help us decorate the Christmas tree?" he asked, and a grin spread across her face as she nodded eagerly.

I moved my legs up as Carlisle stood, placing his book down and heading out the door. Nestling my book mark in between the pages, I stood, pulling the coffee table and the arm chair that sat in the corner of the room out of the way. By the time I had done that, Carlisle had reappeared with the tree from the attic. He pulled it from its box as I left the room to retrieve the decorations, and when I returned, he had the base out, and he and Isla were unpacking the branches. I had decided a few years ago that we would have a fake Christmas tree after Isla nearly gave herself a face-full of needles from a real one when she was toddling around.

Setting the box down, I joined them, and Carlisle's iPod sat in its speaker dock playing some Christmas songs. Isla helped with baubles, I hung lights in the window, and Carlisle put them on the tree. When the tree was nearly complete, Carlisle stood back, his fingers stroking his chin as he pretended to concentrate on the tree.

Looking at her daddy and what he was doing, Isla looked to the tree almost copying. Carlisle even had me sucked in as I turned to see if I could spot the problem, but he turned to Isla.

"It needs a star. Think you can sit up there until Christmas?" he asked, and she giggled brightly as a smile spread across my face.

Pulling the star from the box, I handed it to him, and he lifted Isla onto his shoulders, passing it to her. Carefully, she placed it on top with a little help, and he took a step back, looking over the tree again.

"It's perfect." He smiled, turning his head and leaning round to kiss her. I watched on, my heart swelling with pride, fit to burst. What had I done to deserve this amazing man and child? I couldn't think of a single thing, but I was thankful for them.

The rest of the day was spent cooking and playing with Isla. As we cleared away the dishes from dinner after she was in bed, I'd hoped we would have a night together.

"I picked a film for us to watch," I said with a grin as he came back into the living room. His eyes darted around, looking at the candles I had lit before falling on me. I'd quickly changed into some sexy lingerie and a silk gown and was waiting for him on the sofa.

But my grin melted when I saw he was wearing his coat.

"Bella, I'm sorry sweetheart. I have to pop to the hospital," he explained.

Covering myself, I nodded. I just couldn't keep the disappointment off my face though. "It's your day off, Carlisle. You're at work early tomorrow – can't it wait until then?"

He was shaking his head. "Honestly, sweetheart, I can't avoid it."

I sighed as I tucked my bare legs up next to me. "Should I not bother waiting up?"

His grimace was answer enough.

"I love you," he whispered, but I barely caught it.

When I didn't respond - being the stubborn cow that I was - he left, tucking his keys into his pocket.

When I heard the front door open though, I rushed to the living room door, leaning round into the hall. "Carlisle…" I started, and he looked up to me as he bent down for his brief case that sat near the front door. "I love you," I whispered back. A smile spread across his face before he blew me a kiss and left. As I turned back into the living room, I decided that smile was worth everything, and I was glad I had seen it before he left.

When he crawled into bed at 1am, despite my best sexy-even-if-I-am-half-asleep efforts, he rejected my advances. I couldn't help but feel hurt. I glanced over at him laying next to me, ready to turn out the lamp and saw those bags looking even heavier under his eyes. He was probably just really tired, and I was just being silly. Switching the light out, he gave me a quick kiss on the forehead before turning over to sleep.

The bed had never felt so big and empty in all the time we had shared it.

The next morning, breakfast ran like clockwork. I was up and showered by 6am when Carlisle got up, looking truly adorable sat in bed, rubbing his eyes as he yawned. As I left the room, I heard Carlisle jump up and into the shower, and for a moment, I debated trying to join him. I shook my head of the thoughts that began creeping upon me – he'd be late for work if I tried.

Downstairs, I began making pancakes and coffee for him, when he appeared in the kitchen, grabbing his mug. His shirt was undone slightly, a tie hanging loosely around his neck. He filled his mug, then leaned on the counter as he took a sip.

"Morning," he smiled, looking up at me.

"Morning," I replied as I stacked some pancakes on a plate.

He moved to sit at the table, and I put the plate in front of him before sitting in a chair next to him.

"Are you not eating?" he asked as he picked his fork up with one hand and used a finger from the other to scoop a little syrup, popping his finger in his mouth and sucking it clean. I couldn't help the shudder that ripped through my core as I watched my gorgeous man do that.

Ignoring his question, I darted my mouth forward as he took another scoop and drew his finger to my mouth instead, taking my time to slowly suck on it. His eyes flew to my face, and I saw him swallow hard.

Maybe he had just been really tired the night before. I heard a low moan as I gently released his finger and ran my hand along his thigh. "You have time right?" I asked as I took a glance at the clock.

Out the corner of my eye, I saw Carlisle also glance, but he was shaking his head as he took another sip from his mug. "I'm sorry, I really don't." Slumping back into my chair, I sighed a little as I reached for my orange juice. "Are you okay though? Why aren't you eating?" he asked again before pushing a fork full of pancake past his soft lips.

"I'll eat something with Isla when she's up," I told him before sipping my own drink.

He nodded as he chewed his food. "So you don't feel sick? You're okay?" he asked again, once he had swallowed.

I rolled my eyes as I stood, putting my glass down. "Always the doctor," I mumbled, and I heard his chuckle as I stood up.

"Are you okay?" I asked, moving to stand behind him and running my fingers through his hair as he turned so he could look to me.

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" he said, looking back to his plate.

"You still seem really tired, Carlisle. Are you sure you're getting enough rest?" I asked, concern evident in my voice as I stroked his hair back.

"Bella, you don't need to worry. I'm getting plenty of sleep," he replied, raising a free hand to place on top of mine for a moment. He was silent for a moment as he finished his breakfast, and I felt rather silly to be pleased that he lightly tapped my backside as I left the room.

I could hear Isla upstairs, and when I got to the top, she was slowly waddling out of her room, rubbing her eyes and looking adorable much like her father. "Morning, baby," I said as I scooped her up in my arms.

"Mornin', Mama," she whispered, her voice still thick with sleep, and as I started my descent downstairs, she grabbed her tatty rabbit and rested her head on my shoulders. Once in the kitchen though, she seemed consumed by a sudden burst of energy as she spotted Carlisle.

Shouting out to him, she leaned forward, her arms wide and waiting. Smiling, Carlisle took her from me and gave her a big hug and kiss as I moved to get her breakfast ready. "Daddy has to go to work now, princess," he said, kissing her forehead as he sat her down. "Love you both" he said before walking over to press a kiss to my cheek before quickly leaving.

Sighing, I picked up two breakfast boxes and held them up to Isla. "Which one, baby?" I asked, and she pointed to the box of Lucky Charms in my right hand. "You got it," I said, putting the Cheerio's down and walking to her, pouring a small amount into her pink breakfast bowl. I quickly added some milk for her and sat back where I had before, pouring myself some. We ate in silence, but that didn't last too long. Heading upstairs, she was talkative and told me about something they were doing at playgroup that day and how she couldn't wait to see Jake.

Isla got dressed in her cute red skinny chords and a pretty pink top, and I brushed her hair gently as she stood at the sink brushing her teeth. Plaiting it and putting in a bow, we were ready to leave and headed back down. At the bottom of the stairs my mobile vibrated on the table top, and I grabbed it quickly before it could ring off.

"Hello?" I answered, pressing it to my shoulder as I helped Isla with her coat.

"Bella, are you taking the car to playgroup?" Alice asked quickly.

"Yeah, the rain's too…"

"JAKE! Please put that down!" Alice almost whined. "Sorry, Bella, you were saying?"

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped. "Jake giving you trouble today?"

Alice groaned. "He somehow found some candy I had stashed away for Christmas stockings, and is now hyper."

"Oh, dear. He better not be sick in my car," I joked.

Alice's laugh was half-hearted. "How did you know I needed a lift?" she asked.

"I guessed. So what's up with yours?"

"Tire. Jazz is getting it fixed."

"Okay, I'm just about to leave, so I'll see you soon."

"Thanks, Bella. See you soon."

I slipped the phone into my pocket and helped Isla on with her boots and grabbing the car keys, quickly left.

When I got to Alice's, I could hear her shouting at Jake to come out. When that failed, I decided to wind the window down and let Isla shout for him. Of course, Jake came bounding out, and I got out, opening the car door so Alice could fit the car seat in that she seemed to be struggling with.

With Jake strapped in, and Alice in the front, we drove to playgroup. Alice and I were quiet on the drive, and she sat with her head back as we listened to the kids singing songs from the Disney CD that was playing.

Once they had been dropped off, Alice sighed in relief.

"What has you so tired?" I asked as she yawned.

"I was up half the night," she replied.

"Why?" I frowned.

"Jasper," she mumbled.

"Jasper? Is he… ahhh. You mean... Yeah. Okay," I said, suddenly catching on, when I noticed a smirk.

"I'm surprised by how much energy you have these days. What are you on, Energizer?" she asked with a laugh.

"I will be, if things don't pick up," I mumbled under my breath and rather than look at her questioning face, I concentrated on looking out the window. The road was clear though, and I pulled out, carrying on our journey.

"And why is that?" she asked anyway.

I was shaking my head as I stopped at the lights. "Fancy a coffee?" I asked, and her smile faded as she nodded seriously.

We ordered our drinks and sat down in the big comfy chairs near the window. It was cold outside and we sat in silence for a few minutes as I watched people bundled up in coats, scarfs, and gloves make their way around town.

"Come on, spill," Alice pushed, and after taking a sip of my coffee, I began where I thought best.

"Carlisle and I haven't… well, we haven't had sex for a while," I said. Alice sat staring at me, saying nothing, so I continued. "And it's not from lack of trying. Believe me, I've tried a lot, and I'm getting nothing. Not even a fumble." She was still quiet, so I laid on the heavy. "He even rejected a blow job the other day."

Now she reacted. "WHAT?" she gasped, moving forward over the table. I just nodded. "Well, that's not right," she muttered, and I continued to nod.

"I'm worried," I confessed. "It's been at least 2 months. The last time we even got anywhere was when you and Jasper interrupted."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Why are you worried? Maybe it's work…" she suggested.

"Yeah, that's just it though - he's working too hard. He's working so much more than he did before we had a family. And Alice, he looks so tired, but he won't talk to me. I don't know what to do."

Alice thought for a moment before replying, and I was glad she was taking this as serious as I meant. "What exactly worries you the most about this?"

I had to think for a moment. I knew I was worried that he would tire himself out, maybe make himself ill, but if I was honest… "I'm worried he's fed up with me. I'm worried that maybe he doesn't find me as attractive as he once did."

"Does he still kiss you?" Alice asked. I nodded. "Tell you he loves you?" I nodded again. "Then, Bella, I don't think he's had enough of you."

"What do I do, Alice? I can't lose Carlisle, I just can't." I realised I seemed pretty desperate, but I was. Carlisle was my rock. I hated to think that he was bored with me now.

"You're going to go home, let Alice sex you up a bit, and then tonight, when Isla is in bed, you and Carlisle are going to have dessert – and it's going to be sexy."

"Oh great, and what if he rejects me again? I'll look like a bigger idiot, all dressed up."

"So if he rejects you again, confront him. There must be a reason, and you have a right to know it. I still can't believe he rejected a blow…"

"Yes, thank you, Alice. We're already feeling pretty worthless over here, let's not make it worse," I almost snapped, glaring at her.

"Oh, Bella. There has to be a reason, and it has to be a pretty damn good one. So tonight, you will either get laid and stop being moody – " I began to protest, when she held up her finger and continued

"OR," she said loudly to be heard over my half-formed protests. "You get your reason."

I nodded, deciding I didn't have it in me to argue with Alice. I already felt pretty deflated.

"So anyway, I've already started shopping for holiday clothes," she said brightly.

I raised an eyebrow. "Why do we need holiday clothes? It's Disneyland at New Year."

"I know, I know, but that doesn't mean we can't look good. You're going to love the dress I found for Isla for New Year's Eve." She grinned, and I groaned.

"When will you stop dressing my daughter up like a marshmallow?"

"When you stop letting me," she smirked, and I stuck my tongue out trying - but failing - to hide my own smirk.

xXxXx

Carlisle was home on time, and as we ate dinner, we all talked about our day. Isla, as always, had the best stories to tell and was excited about a new topic – important people. Of course, telling this story was helped by the fact I had read the letter that came home with her.

"And Daddy, we're doing doctors!" she exclaimed.

"Wow - wish we knew a doctor that you could talk to," he said, and Isla hit his arm playfully.

"Can I have a plaster on?" she asked, and Carlisle laughed.

"Tell you what, princess, in the morning, Daddy will put a special bandage on your arm that you can show everyone. Sound good?"

Isla nodded enthusiastically before finishing her dinner.

When she had finished she had some TV time as we cleared away the dishes, and he asked me about lunch with Alice.

"Oh, you know Alice, still trying to play human Barbie with the kids. She bought Isla a dress for New Year's Eve."

"What are we doing New Year?" he asked, and I frowned.

"The Holiday. To Disney," I reminded him.

He stood straight where he had just pushed the dining room chair in under the table and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry. I nearly forgot."

I walked over, dropping the dish towel on the counter as I went by and stepped to his side, rubbing his arm soothingly. "What has you so distracted?"

He dropped his hand and brought it to my waist, pulling me closer and hugging me. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I guess work just has me distracted," he answered before kissing my hair.

Stepping back, I forced a smile. It wasn't like Carlisle to forget something like that.

Finishing the last of the clearing up, I told Carlisle to rest whilst I sorted Isla out for bed. Once she was tucked up in bed and had been read to, I slipped into our bedroom.

Looking in the closet drawers, I found a sexy black corset and some matching lace knickers, and I slipped them on, covering up with a silk dressing gown before heading downstairs again. Making my way straight to the kitchen, I grabbed the ice cream from the freezer and some spoons and headed to the living room.

Carlisle sat with a hand in his ruffled hair, his other gripping a piece of paper, his expression stressed. Paper was strewn across the coffee table. Oh, how I wished he'd just relax. The bags under his eyes looked darker. I stood by his side quietly for a minute before he finally looked up at me. His expression immediately softened, and I relaxed a little. Climbing onto the couch behind him, I began to rub his tense shoulders. He rolled his neck and groaned a little, apologising for working so hard.

"Carlisle, I understand you love your work, you know I do, but you can't keep running yourself down like this."

He tried to apologise again before I placed a finger on his parted lips. He turned slightly in his seat, his head next to my parted legs, but I climbed into his lap and grabbed the ice cream.

"Bella, my work.." he said, looking at the table.

"Can wait. Please, just give me some time with you."

He sighed and nodded, relaxing a little more and wrapping his arms around my waist as I pulled the lid off and dug a spoon into it. Slowly, I moved it to his lips, teasing him slightly before letting him take it into his mouth. I slowly pulled it back, the ice cream gone.

Grabbing the other spoon, Carlisle repeated this with me, and we gazed into one another's eyes adoringly.

This seemed to settle my mind some, but I was still hot for him.

After several more spoons and some giggling from us both as I almost dropped it, I put the ice cream to the side on the lamp table and straddled him. His hands were running up and down my thighs as he breathed heavily. I went in to kiss him, and he kissed me back.

I wanted him so badly that it wasn't long until my kiss became passionate, my tongue slipping into his mouth. He seemed to be going along with it for now, and his hands moved all over my body as I began to move on top of him. I craved some friction, and as I started grinding myself on him, I ran my hands over the buttons of his blue shirt, trying to undo them.

Just as I felt I was making great progress, his hands closed around mine, and he pulled away from the kiss. "Bella, I'm sorry, I can't." he whispered.

The sting I felt was worse than I thought it would be. I moved back and lifted my leg, curling up next to him. He turned on the sofa to face me in his seat.

"Bella…" he began, but I was shaking my head, tears threatening to fall. What was bothering me most, I couldn't decide. Was it the rejection that stabbed at me? or the fact that it was Carlisle who was rejecting me?

It was probably because it was Carlisle.

"I don't understand," I whispered. "I don't – why aren't I good enough for you?"

"Bella, I LOVE you! It's not that you're not good enough for me…"

"Then why? Why don't you want to be with me?" I asked.

He sighed. "I've just been busy, and tired…"

"Well, if you didn't spend all your time working, we wouldn't have this problem," I snapped. I really wished I hadn't. I could see a pain in his eyes that I hadn't seen in so long.

"Bella, I work because..."

"I know. You enjoy it," I said quietly.

"Yes, but I also want to provide for you and Isla. Look, I'm sorry. I know I've been rejecting you."

He seemed to hesitate on the last part, so I pushed. I wanted a proper explanation.

"Do you have any idea what's been going through my head? I've felt almost sick to my stomach thinking you're bored with me. You don't want me anymore. That maybe you don't find me attractive anymore."

He looked pained again as he took my hands. "Bella, sweetheart, please. I am not bored with you. And I happen to think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on."

I looked deep into his eyes, staring intently, perhaps searching for some sign he was lying. When I found none, I softened towards him a little.

"Carlisle, if all that you say is true, I don't understand what could make you so distant from me."

"I'm sorry, sweet girl. I didn't realise how harsh you were taking it. I just… Sometimes…"

He couldn't find the word, so I offered some. "The pain you've been having."

He nodded. "It was just a little off-putting," he admitted.

"So what's wrong?"

"It's nothing. In no time at all, I'll be back to showing you exactly how much I love you."

I couldn't help but feel Carlisle was making promises he couldn't possibly know that he could keep.

He kissed my forehead as he got up, taking the ice cream with him to the kitchen. I heard the freezer door open and close, and when he came back in I somewhat studied him.

"You're lying," I said bluntly.

"I'm sorry?" he replied, though he didn't look at me.

"You're lying to me," I repeated, and his sigh came heavy. "My God, Carlisle, what is so bad that you have to lie to me?" I pressed, sitting on the edge of my seat.

He was pinching the bridge of his nose again, his eyes shut tight. "I'm ill."

"Ill? Like… you have flu coming or something, right?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I'm just having some tests done. I just didn't want you to worry."

For a moment my mouth gaped open as I tried to think of a response. "Tests? What kind of tests? How ill are you?" I asked. My voice was no more than a whisper, and neither was his. "Why – why would it worry me?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he moved back to the sofa, sitting down next to me.

But I couldn't sit. Something felt wrong. Standing, I paced around a little. "Carlisle, you're a doctor. You obviously know what this could be. What aren't you telling me?"

There was a long pause before he answered, and during that I was driving myself crazy. So much was running through my mind, but I couldn't grasp a hold on any of it.

He took a deep breath, looking up to me, and after its release, he spoke. "All the symptoms point to…" he paused again for another breath. "Testicular cancer."

I just stood, staring. I could barely feel my jaw hanging. I felt… I didn't know how I felt. I wasn't even sure I'd processed what he had said.

My heart was hammering against my chest, and I began to feel numb and sick as his words swam around my head. My vision was blurred, and I blinked away the tears. I was vaguely aware of Carlisle looking at me. I was being so utterly selfish, and… "Oh God Carlisle" I breathed, rushing to his side and taking him in my arms. I pulled him to me and held him tightly, his shoulders shaking slightly.

Rougher than I thought, I pushed him back so I could look at him. There were pain and tears in his eyes, and I finally saw just how tired he really was. God, I had been so blind! And he must have had this on his mind for so long, trying to deal with it alone…

"Oh, Carlisle, why on earth didn't you tell me?" I almost snapped. I really didn't want to be angry with him, but going through this alone? Why would he do that?

We sat there for a long time, gently rocking back and forth as I stoked at every part of him I could, continually whispering how okay it would be, even though I had no idea if it would be.

Being female, I'd only ever thought about breast cancer, ovarian cancer. And even then, I only knew the basics - got checked out.

I had no idea how this could be affecting Carlisle. In reality, I knew nothing about it.

I could feel his hot tears running onto my arm, and before I spoke, I tried to steady my voice. "I promise you I am with you all the way. If something is bothering you, I'll be here. I will always be by your side," I vowed.

He raised his head to look at me. "B-Bella, we don't know that it is," he muttered.

"You're lying," I whispered.

"I'm not."

"Tell your face that," I said softly, and we both spluttered a laugh. Turning his head to the side, he rested it on my chest again as I continued to stroke his arms. "I'm here for you, Carlisle. Always." I whispered before I kissed his soft, golden hair. I rested my head back on the pillow and blinking once, I let silent tears slip down my cheeks for my dear Carlisle.

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**Thoughts? **


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer**: i don't own Twilight and i still don't own Carlisle - shame really...

**A/N**: Hey guys, Thank you all so, so Much for all your reviews, and those that story alert and favourite etc. And for those that just read it - thank you too!It really means alot to me that you are all reading this!

So, this chapter was hard for me to write. It was very emotional for me as i start this journey with my characters and i hope you will like this chapter.

Great thanks goes out to my wonderful beta, Nachos4Children. I seriously couldn't do it without her - she pushes me the right way and listens to me whinge about nothing in particular. Girl, i love you. Much deserved Peter Porn coming your way!

So here we go my darlings! Enjoy!

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**Chapter 24**

The night he had told me, we had eventually fallen asleep in each other's arms, and when I woke at about 4am from a sore neck, I carefully slipped out from under him. As I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water, I had noticed my laptop sitting on the side of the counter. I wasn't exactly one to wholly believe what the Internet had to tell me, but I had to know… What would his chances of survival be? What exactly would Carlisle have to go through? I knew chemotherapy would probably be a big part of this process, but I didn't know exactly what happened.

Quietly, I had pulled a stool up and opened the lid, and waited for it to load.

I hadn't been able to bring myself to ask him about it. It had taken enough out of him just to confess that to me. Bringing up Google, I'd quickly typed 'testicular cancer' into the box and hit enter, then clicked on the first link I saw, and read the page.

I had felt a lump rise in my throat; tears threatened to fall again.

I'd read things like: there were between 7,500 to 8,000 diagnoses made each year in the United States, it was the most common cancer in males aged 20-39, and over his lifetime a man's risk of TC is roughly 1 in 250. I had no idea something as terrible as this was so common.

Carlisle was 37. We had only been together for little over 7 years. I really wasn't ready to lose him…

My elbows had been propped on either side of the laptop as my head fell into my hands.

"What are you doing?" his sleepy voice had asked, and my head snapped up, turning to look at him. He'd stood in the doorway, rubbing his neck with one hand while the other worked the buttons of his shirt. Any other time, that would have completely distracted me, but the tears had began to fall. Carlisle had rushed over, wrapping his arms around me. As his chin had rested on my head, I'd felt his jaw clench slightly, and I knew he was reading the screen. "Why didn't you ask?" he'd whispered.

I hadn't known how to answer – I couldn't tell him I was scared because I knew that he was probably fearing this more, and if he could try and be strong for Isla and me, I would do the same for him. And so I'd settled for a feeble shrug. He'd paused for what seemed like forever before nodding once, holding me tighter. I had never wanted him to let me go.

Life breezed by as normal. Alice and Jasper didn't know – we had deal with this as a family first, and then our extended 'family' would know. We finished preparations for the holidays – Alice, Jasper, and Jake were spending Christmas Day with us, and the next day Tanya's family would be driving down to spend the day with us.

Carlisle had met Tanya when he first came to America, and they'd become firm friends. Viewing Tanya and her family like his own, we invited them around for the holidays. I'd never really spent much time with her, but if they were important to Carlisle, they were important to me. And so I put my all into planning a great dinner we could all enjoy and finished shopping for presents.

Seemingly too fast, Christmas Eve came around, and I was trying to prepare as much as I could for the next day when Carlisle came home from work. We all sat down to dinner, and talked, and after leaving some milk, some cookies, and a carrot out, Isla went to bed.

After Santa's "visit," I snapped a cookie in half, popping some in Carlisle's mouth before we went up to bed ourselves and just silently sat next to each other, reading. But it wasn't long before Carlisle closed his book and turned on his side, propped on his elbow, watching me.

He began to slowly run his hand up and down my bare thigh, and I raised an eyebrow as I looked down to him. He just smiled, leaning down to place a kiss on my leg, and I couldn't help but gasp a little at his touch. It had been so long, and I really craved that connection between us. Although sex clearly wasn't everything between us, and we knew how to be intimate without it - I missed it a lot. I missed the feel of him inside me…

"Bella?" he whispered, snapping me out of fond memories.

"Sorry, I was just… thinking," I replied, and he chuckled a little.

"Why don't you lie down?" he suggested, and so I did, turning on my side. Carlisle lay behind me, his arm still propped, but now, his free hand moved through my hair, lifting and stroking it, and running his fine fingers through my curls. I noticed him look down at my book before staring at the ceiling, and I was about to continue reading, when he spoke.

_"I carry your heart with me (I carry it in_

_My heart) I am never without it (Anywhere_

_I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done_

_By only me is you're doing, my darling)_

_I fear_

_No fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want_

_No world (For beautiful you are my world, my true)_

_And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant_

_And whatever a sun will always sing is you_

_Here is the deepest secret nobody knows_

_(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud_

_And the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows_

_Higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)_

_And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart_

_I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)"_

I looked at the page in front of me – it certainly wasn't the poem Carlisle had just softly recited.

"You know, the first time I saw that poem, I thought of you," he whispered, and he leaned down to kiss my temple. I could feel the butterflies fluttering in my stomach, my thighs clench a little, and a very small, soft moan escaped my lips. Carlisle chuckled a little as his tongue ran to my ear, taking it into his mouth and nipping.

He had pretty much left me speechless, and all I had left in me was to show him how I felt. Roughly turning over and sending the book flying until it crash to the floor with a thud, I cupped his face in my palms and kissed him.

I was gentle to begin with, and he pulled me closer. Winding my arms around his neck, I began to kiss him harder, trying to pour all my emotion into it. I found myself craving friction with him as his hand gripped my hip, begging me to touch him. I pushed him down, rolling on top of him, and settled back, looking down at the seductive grin he wore. But it wasn't fooling me, and I could see the guilt in his eyes. So I ignored it.

Leaning down, I ran my fingertips up and down his chest as I slowly kissed every inch of skin I could. His hands were resting on my arms, and he rubbed them as he took deep breaths. I could feel him growing under my wet center, and I paused for a split second, wondering if he was in pain. Looking up at him, he smiled.

"I'm okay," he breathed, and with a wicked grin, I continued.

My kisses made their way to his chest, and when I reached a nipple, I flicked my tongue over it, receiving my own form of pleasure when he gasped. I continued up his neck to his ear and along his jawline, all the time slow and careful until they finally reached his mouth, and our tongues eagerly found and caressed each other.

His hands slid around from my hips to my ass, and he gave a small squeeze, which in turn had my hips bucking, giving me that friction I so badly wanted. One hand began to roam down my leg and tease my inner thigh, and before I realised what he was doing, I gasped at the feel of his fingers inside me. It felt so good, and when his thumb took to gently rubbing my sensitive clit, I couldn't help but begin to buck. And so leaning back, I found myself riding those two amazing fingers as he thrust them inside me.

I had been silently begging for release like this for some weeks now – it just wasn't the same on my own - and knew I wasn't far off. Whispered cries of his name escaped my lips as I told him how good it felt.

"That's it, Bella, cum for me," he breathed.

My fingers tightened on his chest as I tried to claw at any part of him, feeling my orgasm build. And as he held my hip tightly, pushing me onto him hard, his fingers gave another thrust into me, his thumb another flick of my sensitive bundle, sending me over the edge. I bit down on my lip hard, my eyes squeezed shut, and threw my head back as my orgasm rolled through me. His fingers gently ran along my wet folds as I came down from it, and looking down I could see it glistening on his fingers. Then Carlisle did something I had never seen him do – raising his hand, he took his fingers to his mouth and licked them, humming an approval at my taste. It was a massive turn on.

"How do I taste?" I boldly asked, and he smiled up at me.

"So good," he replied, licking them once more.

Moving down, I looked at Carlisle between my legs, still looking unsatisfied. I began to tug at his underwear, pulling it down.

"I want to taste you now," I whispered.

"Bella…" he began, but I placed a finger to his lips. "Let me try. I can't leave you like this," I said, nodding to his now free and rather glorious cock.

"But what about…" he started, but didn't finish. He looked worried, when it suddenly clicked.

If he had a lump down there, was he worried how I'd react?

Carefully, I moved between his legs. "Carlisle – trust me," I asked of him, and after a moment, he nodded.

So I went slowly.

Gently, I took him to my mouth, gently licking down his length and teasing the tip, before slowly taking in all I could of him. I began to gently suck, more aware of where I was putting my hands than I thought I'd be. I could hear muffled noises, so I decided to check on how I was doing.

"How does that feel, baby?"

I sucked some more, my lips closing over the top. His hips bucked some, and I saw his hands ball into fists, but when I glanced up, all I saw was him watching with a slight grimace. But that was soon gone.

"It feels good, Bella…so good…" he whispered, and I smiled a little as I continued.

The more he moaned, the more daring I got, and soon he was gripping the bed sheets as I sucked harder. "Bella, I think I'm…"

"Come on," I whispered, kissing him. "I want to taste you." His hips started to buck a little, pushing him further into my mouth. I stretched one arm up his body, and his hand gripped mine as he breathed my name.

And with a loud gasp, there it was - shooting into my mouth - Carlisle's release. As I drank from him, I prayed that he wasn't hurt or that I had pushed him too far, and when I came up, wiping up the corners of my mouth, I flashed a timid smile.

He was leaning on his elbows looking at me. "Bella, that was… amazing," he whispered.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" I asked, remembering his grimace.

He took a moment to answer, but I cut him off as he began. "I did, didn't I? Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

He looked rather embarrassed, so rather than push it, I crawled beside him and wrapped my arms around him, pulling our naked bodies close together. "I really did enjoy it, it's just that…well, it was a tiny bit uncomfortable," he confessed.

"Carlisle, you should have told me to stop."

He shook his head. "I couldn't – it's been a while, Bella…and I was enjoying it too much!" he chuckled, and my body shook a little with silent laughter.

For a while, we just lay in bed saying nothing, our hands gently tracing over each other's bare skin. This felt like absolute proof of our love – we could just be with each other, just here, together, nothing added, no need to talk to each other, no need to be further intimate because we were satisfied, and we could still enjoy each other's company.

I didn't know how much time had passed since we had been there, but as I started to nod off, Carlisle gently leaned down, pressing kisses to my hair, my cheek, my nose, raising my hand to kiss that too, and softly murmured, "Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

I smiled as I took in a deep breath, my eyes still closed, my head turning to press a kiss to his body.

"Merry Christmas," I muttered before I fell into the dark.

In the morning, Isla's obvious excitement woke us up, and we could hear her giggling in her bedroom. With a quick good morning kiss and trip to the bathroom to brush my teeth, we dressed in some pyjamas and joined her.

"Santa came!" she announced excitedly, and we sat on her bed to examine the contents of her stocking.

Scooping her up in his arms, Carlisle carried Isla downstairs.

Carlisle started a fire as I sat down with Isla and looked over her presents excitedly. We let Isla open most of hers, and then she gave Carlisle his present – a plate she had hand-decorated. We had gone to a special pottery shop, and Isla had painted herself and her daddy together, holding hands in a sunny field, and tried to sign her name below. Carlisle hugged her tight, and I could see not only the joy and happiness his eyes held, but the pain, too.

"Thank you so much, Princess," he breathed, hugging her again.

Next, he helped Isla lift a present for me, and I unwrapped the heavy object. It was a beautiful photo frame that held many photos of me and Isla together. Cute ones from birthday parties, ones of us playing dress up, and a favourite of mine where we both pulled 'crazy' faces.

"Oh, baby, it's wonderful!" I smiled, also hugging her.

With a smile and kiss for us both, she turned to open the remaining gifts.

"I got you a little something, too," Carlisle said, one hand reaching behind the cushions and pulling out a wrapped box. I slowly unwrapped it, and inside sat a key. My brow creased in confusion as I picked it out and held it up, looking at him questioningly. "You get the second half later," he winked, and my mind buzzed with possibilities. "Merry Christmas," he whispered before kissing my temple.

Popping the key back in the box, I tucked it safely away before pulling out a small blue bag and handing it to Carlisle. He opened his gift carefully, and smiled at the watch I had gotten him. Holding it up to look at it, he noticed it was engraved:

_I will love you until the end of time… B x_

His fist closed around it, and his eyes closed, so I pulled him into my arms. "Merry Christmas," I said softly, and he looked up to me. His eyes were the same as when he was looking at Isla.

"Thank you," he replied, and I nodded once before kissing him.

When Isla was finished, we went back upstairs to get ready, and with Isla safely playing in her room, we took a shower. We were silent as we stood under the hot water, washing each other gently.

"Bella…" he began, and I turned to look at him. "I have an appointment – next week."

"I'll be there," I promised before quickly kissing him.

It wasn't long before Alice, Jasper, and Jake were knocking on the front door and greeting us with big hugs and kisses on the cheek. Jake had brought some of his new toys to show Isla, and she didn't hesitate in showing off her own presents. It was also endearing to see her show off what she had got Carlisle and me, which proved to us we had taught her well – Christmas wasn't just about the receiving, it was about giving, too, and more importantly - family.

When we sat down to dinner, we all held hands around the table as Carlisle said a prayer. I wasn't particularly religious – I believed there was something, and that we all had a place to go - but believing in a god was a little too much of a stretch for me. Alice had the same views, and Jasper believed a little more. Carlisle, however, had been raised this way. He had gone to a small, cold church every Sunday when he lived in England where his father had been the pastor. He hadn't been to church though since he left England, and although I didn't know the full story, I knew it had something to do with his father. His father was a sore subject, so I never prodded it. He did, however, at Christmas, say a prayer.

_"Father, we thank Thee for this day._

_Bless all we do and all we say._

_May we each enjoy Thy blessings great_

_As Jesus' birth we celebrate._

_And may the love that we share here_

_Remain throughout the coming year._

_Amen!"_

"Amen," we all echoed before lifting the lid on the dishes. As we began serving up, I offered a round of drinks.

"No thank you," Alice smiled when I offered her a glass of wine. Standing tall, I looked down at her, my eyebrow arched as I questioned her silently. "We're going to be parents again," she smiled proudly.

The wine was immediately forgotten as I bent down to hug my best friend. "Congratulations!" I exclaimed, hugging her tightly.

Behind us, I saw Jazz and Carlisle man-hug it out as he offered his congratulations, and when they were done, I pulled Jazz into a tight hug. "How far along?" I asked over his shoulder.

"Three months, actually," she blushed as I released her husband.

"Wow! I take it the little one is okay?" I asked, worried about why she had waited this long to tell me anything. Last time, she was only a month gone when they told us.

"We had a few problems," I frowned at her "but nothing serious," she quickly added, and I relaxed as I sat back down.

"So, we hoping for a girl?" I asked with a grin.

"As long as they don't have webbed feet, I don't mind," Jasper laughed.

"Wait – they?"

Alice smacked his arm playfully as Jasper blushed. I rarely saw Jasper blush, and I couldn't help but laugh at him. "We're having twins. We thought we lost one to begin with… that's why we waited."

Reaching over the table, I held her hand tightly. "I'm glad you're okay," I told them, and Alice and Jasper smiled brightly.

After dinner and desert, Alice and Jasper followed Isla and Jake into the living room, switching on a Christmas film showing on television. I refused to let them help clear up, as they were our guests. I nearly refused Carlisle, but he shook his head at me. I knew I wouldn't win that battle.

Closing the dishwasher, I sighed.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Carlisle asked, coming up behind me. He rubbed my shoulders and made a comment about how tense I was.

"I feel guilty," I whispered, turning to face him.

His hands drifted down my arms and onto my hips, and he pressed himself to me, whispering in my ear. "I understand."

"I'm sorry," I whispered back as he kissed along my jaw.

"Oh, are you getting started on Baby Cullen number 2 now? Want me to take Isla out for a while?" Alice smirked from the doorway.

"Har-har," I replied before giving Carlisle a quick kiss on the cheek and moving away. I didn't miss his sigh as I moved from his side.

"Actually, I was just about to show Bella the rest of her gift," he grinned as he leaned against the counter.

"Really, I can have it now?" I asked, and he nodded, holding an outstretched hand to me.

Taking it, I followed him to the other side of the kitchen. There was a room back here that we couldn't really find use for, and in the end was just filled with anything useless.

"Got your key?" he asked, and I nodded, pulling it from my pocket. Fumbling a little, I got it in the lock eventually and turned it, opening the door and gasped when he flicked the light on. The room had been completely done up - bookshelves filled with many books - most of which I hadn't seen before -

lined the walls around a gorgeous heavy oak desk behind a beautiful little chair. Sitting on the desk, was a family photo of us.

I turned to see Carlisle and Alice grinning - I guess they had worked on this together.

"All his idea," Alice said nodding towards him. "Me and Jazz just put the work in - I decorated it - you like?" she asked, and I nodded almost dumbly.

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart," he whispered in my ear as he came up behind me.

"You did this?" I asked, turning to face him.

"I thought it would be nice for you to have your own space - for when you're working on this new book of yours. And for inspiration, I surrounded you with the greatest love stories and poems, as well as your favorites."

"Oh, Carlisle," I mumbled, battling tears. "it's perfect." I exclaimed, throwing my arms around his neck and hugging him tight. When I looked over at the door, I mouthed a thank you to Alice and she nodded once in response before leaving.

"This must have taken a while," I said, looking around as Carlisle pulled me to the desk. Sitting back on it, I rested against his lap.

"I'm glad I had Jasper and Alice to help," he said, and I nodded thoughtfully.

"We'll tell them real soon, I promise," he whispered.

Cupping his cheek in my palm, I nodded. "Whenever you're ready, baby," I told him, placing a kiss onto his sweet lips.

The next day was spent with Tanya and her family. She prepared a lighter meal for us, and spoiled Isla rotten with lovely clothes - as if Alice hadn't given her enough. I made a mental note to comb through what was now technically her old stuff and to send it to charity.

I was just strapping Isla in the car to go home, when Tanya pulled Carlisle aside. I didn't know whether she knew I could hear or not, but I gave them some privacy. By the look of concern on her face, I wondered if she had guessed Carlisle was ill.

With the motion of the car - like most children - Isla fell asleep quickly, and I tried not to do the same.

"Tanya's worried about me," Carlisle sighed. Reaching over, I placed a hand on top of his on the gear stick. "She says I look tired and hopes I'm not over-working myself."

"I hope you told her it's because I'm wearing you out," I joked, and he chuckled. "Maybe I should have, then she might have dropped it."

"Carlisle, she's family. Of course she's worried about you."

He nodded, and I could see how much the lies were hurting him.

"If you want to cancel New Year, we can," I told him, rubbing his hand gently.

"No. we're having this holiday. We're going to forget everything for those three days and have a good time," he said, and I nodded with a smile.

xXxXx

Wednesday came around too quickly, and as if I wasn't dreading the day enough, I was also running late.

"And what are you doing?" Alice asked as I dropped Isla off.

I'd pretty much sprang the request of babysitting services on her with no explanation. "Last minute things. We leave tomorrow, and I have…things to do. I just don't want to drag Isla around," I lied.

Another lie. I had to hide the wince as I thought about them. "_It's a … good lie_" Carlisle had said unconvincingly. I knew he was having a hard time believing that himself.

"I won't be long," I assured her, and dashed off to meet Carlisle at the hospital for his appointment -

he had been working this morning, so he was meeting me there.

I called to apologise for my lateness, but he said I needn't worry and gave me directions as to where to meet him.

And so I snaked through the people in the corridors in my hurry to meet him. But I suddenly felt lost. Leaning against a wall, I was looking at the signs when I heard his voice. A smile spread across my face as I pushed off the wall and peaked around the corner. That disappeared though when I saw him.

"Thank you so much, Dr. Cullen," she was saying, her manicured fingers lightly tracing a pattern on his lab coat sleeve.

"You're very welcome," he replied with his dazzling smile.

Her fingers moved over his coat to his ID badge. "Dr. C. Cullen. So, what does the C stand for?" she asked him.

"Carlisle," he answered, never once making an attempt to move away from her touch.

"Carlisle. It's sexy… it suits you. And is that a hint of an accent I hear?"

He nodded, unphased by her obvious flirting. "I'm from England," he told her, and her face lit up.

"I love British men," she purred.

Their little flirt continued for another minute with seemingly normal comments, but I knew that tone in his voice, that expression he wore - he was enjoying her flirting with him.

I fought the urge to storm over like a jealous teenager and claim my man. Instead, I stayed rooted to the spot and watched as he winked, wishing her a good day.

I wasn't stupid, I knew he looked at other women - all men did. I'd even glanced at few men before. But I was sure there was a certain line you didn't cross, and to me, Carlisle was dancing on that line.

I took and deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment.

So he danced on the edge, stoked the fire so-to-speak. So what? He hadn't exchanged numbers, he hadn't made any attempt to go further.

Releasing the breath noisily, I straightened up and stepped round the corner, making my way down the corridor to meet him.

He waited by the door for me, a huge smile spreading across his face when he saw me. Smiling back, I approached him, placing my hands firmly on his chest. In full view of everyone, I kissed him - maybe a little more passionately than usual in public. I knew it was childish, but maybe I was trying to also show Carlisle just how much I was into him. He chuckled as we broke apart and cleared his throat.

"Shall we go in?" he asked, nodding towards the door. I sighed and agreed, taking his hand in mine.

I felt so utterly useless sitting in Doctor Gerandy's office. The gap between myself and Carlisle felt like a million miles, and I knew I was struggling to keep myself composed.

Testicular Cancer.

Out the corner of my eye, I noticed Carlisle squeeze his eyes shut, his breathing pause. I fumbled for a moment with an awkward sort of rubbing on his arm, trying to find a way to comfort him – I wasn't even sure he could be comforted, and my arm dropped when he opened his eyes, and his breathing picked up again.

Doctor Gerandy began to explain what would happen next – Carlisle would start a course of chemotherapy – and then we were hit with the statistics. He would have three, maybe four, rounds of BEP, whatever that was, and while treatment success depended on the stage of the cancer, the average survival rate after 5 years was around 95%, and stage 1 cancer, like Carlisle's, had a 100% survival rate if monitored properly. For that to be a possibility, they would need to act fast and for Carlisle to start treatment soon. Apparently, Carlisle was lucky. I tried my hardest not to scoff at that comment.

And so it was arranged - Carlisle's last day at work would be the day before we had planned to go on our holiday. In the new Year he was taking a leave, and only a select few would know why. We decided we would still holiday at the new year, but tried to explain to Alice and Jasper that, for reasons beyond our control we were cutting it short a day. They understood, and it was all rearranged.

Carlisle and I hadn't actually talked about his results, and every time I tried to, all I could think of was stupid questions.

_"Are you alright?"_

_"How do you feel about it?"_

I had no idea what to do, and I felt like crap for doing nothing.

When we got back from picking Isla up and rearranging the holiday with Alice and Jasper, I insisted that Carlisle sit down while I put Isla to bed. Honestly – I wanted the time to think.

Sitting on the edge of our bed, I thought about what I had heard today. In just over a week, Carlisle would be starting treatment so we could combat this. And all he cared about was making a point that this holiday was important – that we needed to 'make memories.'

And suddenly, I felt angry. I was so damn angry with him, and I began to pace. Why was it, even with these high survival rates, Carlisle seemed to doubt he'd be around much longer? Had he already given up? That didn't feel fair – I was willing to fight every step of the way with him, but it sounded like he wasn't. There was no way I'd let him give up.

"Bella?" he asked, almost shyly, in a child-like way from where he stood at the door.

My head snapped up, and I caught a glimpse of my expression – I was obviously angry.

"Wh – why are you so angry, sweetheart? I can hear you pacing," he asked quietly.

"I'm fi- You know what? No, I'm not fine. I just found out that the man I love, my other – better – half, has cancer. I just sat and listened as that doctor explained what would happen to you. How this would effect you. What treatment you needed. And my heart sank for you. But then I heard that you have at least a 95% chance of surviving this. And I felt hope."

He looked so confused by my odd ramblings, that he didn't utter a word.

"And then I looked at you, I expected to see in you, the hope that I felt. Carlisle will have faith, I'm sure he will, I thought to myself. You're a doctor, I'm pretty sure you've seen many people recover when the odds were against them. But there you were, making plans to create memories. To never let Isla forget you. And you know what? It ripped my fucking heart out of my chest. The man I love, the strong, confident man I knew wasn't there anymore. I have no idea where he went, but he's been replaced by this," I said, gesturing towards him.

"Please don't think me selfish, Carlisle," I continued. "If this is this hard for me, I'm pretty sure it's a million times harder for you to wrap your head around. And I understand that you're probably scared, but dammit, Carlisle, please don't give up. Please don't talk to me like were not going to have a future together. Please don't talk to me like were not going to grow old together, like we're not going to see our baby grow up into a beautiful young women. Please don't tell me all our travelling dreams have just vanished into thin air. Because I can't fucking take that. I can be here for you, I can be a shoulder to lean on, to cry on, I can be at appointments, I can be with you every step of the way. But I need to know you're really fighting this. I need to know you haven't given up hope – your faith. Your God. Because that, I just can not bear. I can't look into your eyes and see your fear of death. It's breaking me, Carlisle."

We stood silent for a moment as hot tears rolled down my cheeks. I tried to bat them away, but more fell.

"You're right," he finally said, his voice still quiet. "I have seen people beat the odds. But Bella, sweetheart, I've seen so many people die. I've seen death, and I need to be realistic! Yes, there's a chance I will survive this, but Bella, I have to be real, and give it to myself straight like I would any of my patients – there's that chance that I won't, and that's what I fear the most. It's not the appointments, it's not treatment, it's the fear of falling into that tiny percentage, and I don't want to have wasted what precious little time I may have with you and Isla. I don't want to go around like everything's going to be fine because it might not be, and then I have to suffer with the knowledge that I lied to you and led you to believe everything would be fine."

Tears were spilling down his cheeks now as mine became frantic sobs.

"Please, Carlisle," I said, clutching my chest where my heart beat frantically. "Please don't do this to me," I begged as my knees hit the floor.

He was in front of me in moments, kneeling down with me and pulling me to his chest, stroking my hair and cooing soothing words.

Pushing my hands against his chest, I leaned back to look at him. "Carlisle, please. Just believe. Just a little bit."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. I saw him swallow hard before he opened his them again and took my face between his palms. Looking straight into my eyes, he nodded once. "For you and Isla, I will be strong."

* * *

**Thoughts?**

The poem Carlisle reads to Bella is **I Carry your heart** by **E.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight or it's characters. All credit goes to S.M

__**A/N:  
**Sorry it's been a while! What with the holiday's and the hard task of writing about your fave character being ill... it took a while to get this Chapter just right!

Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, story alerted... you are all amazing and i thank you for your support!

As ever, a big thank you goes to my Beta, Nachos4Children. She helps me achieve my best and listens to me being a mardy cow about it ;) I love her to bits. Thank you for everything x x x

So, here we go. Chapter 25. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 25**

_3 months later..._

As I sunk into the chair at the coffee house with a drink in hand, I sighed. And then the tears came.  
_Stupid Carlisle, I'm not a mind reader - how was I supposed to know what the fuck you wanted?_  
Banging my head on the table lightly, I cursed myself.  
"Careful now, let's not cause an injury," a familiar voice joked.  
My head snapping up, I glared at him.

Edward.

"What are you doing here?" I snapped for the second time this evening.  
"Now Isabella, calm down," he said as he took a seat opposite me.  
This only seemed to make my anger worse.  
"Calm down? What the hell are you doing here, Edward?" I hissed.  
"I still live here, Bella. I came in to grab a drink and saw you – you look awfully upset. So I thought – well, I wanted to know that you were okay."  
I knew I was staring open-mouthed, but I simply couldn't help it. "You've got some balls to show your face around here," I mumbled, and he chuckled.  
"I know, and I've received some abuse about it," he said as he stirred his drink.  
"Are you surprised?"  
Dipping his head, he shook it. "Not really, but I'm not that man anymore, Bella."  
"Oh yeah? And what makes this time any different?"  
He sighed as he looked at me, his eyes pleading. "You're right, I've not done anything that would prove to you that I've changed, but please just hear me out."  
I was on the edge of my seat, ready to walk away from him - I had trusted Edward before, and it nearly cost me my life. I felt nervous around him and vulnerable, and I didn't like that at all.  
Taking a deep breath, I looked at him. He looked...different somehow. His clothes had changed – he seemed relaxed, and well, happy. He had aged since I last saw him, but he didn't look too bad.  
He reminded me so much of the Edward I met so many years ago. He was polite, and his words were soft - he wasn't using the harsh tone he used to use with me.  
"Bella, I'm not going to hurt you, I promise, you can trust me."  
"No, Edward, I can't," I spat.  
"Ouch, I guess I deserved that," he muttered.  
"Yes, you did." I nodded.  
I didn't know what it was that had me sitting back down - I had been nervous Edward would cause a scene if I tried to leave, but I didn't see any trace of that violence ready to spring, and it had me...curious.  
"Let's say I...trust you about as far as I can throw you, which isn't far. What is it you want? Really?"  
He sighed with relief. "I just want to - talk. Bella, I need a familiar face and seeing you here..."  
I rubbed my hands over my face, worrying about what to do. There was a small part of me - that curious part that wanted to listen to him, that would put everything aside for a moment to talk to him, to listen.  
Forgetting it was Edward, forgetting our past, surely I could be polite and listen. If that's all he truly wanted...  
Taking a deep, steadying breath and clearing my mind, I got comfy.  
"So then, how are you?" I asked for lack of a better question.  
"I'm doing better." He smiled.  
"Good, I'm pleased to hear it."  
"Really?" he snorted.  
"Really," I replied, before taking a sip of my drink. "What have you been up to?"  
"You mean besides prison?" he joked, and I nodded, a little embarrassed I hadn't thought about that.  
He sighed as he scratched his head, and smiled a little before answering. "I've been thinking. Rehabilitating. Being – inside, did a lot of things for me. For starters, I saw how wrong I had been, how much I had hurt you. And it gave me time - the time to think about why I did that to you, why I treated you that way."  
Just then we were interrupted by our old next door neighbour who looked thoroughly concerned.  
"Do you need me to call the sheriff, dear?" she asked, placing her hand lightly on my shoulder, her eyes never leaving Edward.  
Looking at him, I felt no real threat. But I had been stupid enough to believe that before. Then again, curiosity was still getting the better of me, and I wanted to know what he had to say.

Shaking my head, I thanked her, but assured her he wouldn't hurt me. I knew I was taking a risk, but surely he wouldn't harm me in here. Then again, I'd been wrong about that before, too. Reluctantly, she left, her gaze still on Edward as she sat just a few tables away.  
Sighing, I turned back to him. "You were saying?"  
"There's no excuse for what I did; I was a monster, and I'm so very sorry you had to see that. But I've changed. It's taken years of therapy to get to the root of the problem, and I believe I've killed it. I'm not looking for anything from you, Bella. I just wanted to thank you. Getting better has required a lot of thinking about you, and I just had to know you were okay."  
His words were so...thoughtful. I spent a moment just looking at him and repeating his words in my head.  
"Okay, let's say I believe you. You've seen me now - I'm okay."  
He frowned as he played with the stirrer. "Are you though? You seemed pretty upset. Are you still with…"  
"Carlisle. Yes."  
"He hasn't – upset you, has he?"  
I laughed. "Upset me? All Carlisle's ever done is look out for me, love me, and make me so happy, and – oh god, now I'm the monster," I groaned as my head fell to the table.  
"I – I don't understand."  
"Of course you don't! I can't believe I did that. He didn't deserve it - any of it, and I let my bad mood get in the way, and I took it out on him. All that he's going through, and I took my temper out on him. How could I have done this to him? Oh god, I hope he can forgive me," I rambled, guilt now weighing heavy in my chest.  
"I still don't understand."  
"It's not your problem," I muttered as I looked up and drained the last of my drink.  
"Well, you could always talk to me," he suggested, shrugging, and I laughed.  
But as I sat there, still looking at him, the concern his eyes held… I knew I could always talk to Alice, she was always there for me, but – to have an outsider's ear, someone who perhaps wouldn't be so biased…  
"I'll have another coffee. I'm going to need it," I said sitting up straight and holding back a yawn, and he quickly got up.  
"Loose the grin, Edward, we're just going to talk," I muttered as he hurried away.  
"So..." Edward started as he sat back down and pushed a drink towards me. "Are you and Carlisle married or…?" he asked, his eyes wandering over to my hands.  
"No, not married. We don't need to be married to know how much we love each other. I'm not saying it wouldn't be nice because it would be, but we're happy the way we are."  
"So it's just you and Carlisle?"  
I shook my head. "We have a little girl. She's four."  
Edward smiled, and I grinned at the thought of my baby. "Wow, that's amazing, congratulations!"  
"Thanks," I chuckled.  
"Is he still at the hospital?" Edward asked.  
"Yes, Carlisle is still there…well, he's on leave at the moment."  
"Oh?" Edward answered, curiosity piqued.  
Taking a noisy breath, I began to explain.  
"He's ill. Cancer. Was diagnosed with it a few months back now."  
Edward faltered and swallowed hard before he answered. "Wow, I'm – I'm actually sorry to hear that. It must be hard for you – for you both."  
"Thank you, and well, yes, it is. It's the chemotherapy that's just - it's terrible. I want to be there, to support him, but I can't stand seeing him sat there in the infusion area just looking out the windows. We try to talk, to read, but I can tell, I just know his mind is mostly elsewhere.  
"At first he just looked like my Carlisle – but it didn't take long for me to notice the change. Even Isla picked up on the fact Daddy looked unwell.  
"I watched him try to explain to her that he felt unwell, and that the doctors were going to look after him. We both tried our hardest not to break down when she asked why he couldn't fix himself. But Carlisle's like, a pro with bad news. He just took her in his arms and told her he was trying."  
"Why don't you both just tell her that he has cancer?"  
I looked at him, an eyebrow raised. "Did you actually just ask me that?"  
"I'm… sorry, I just…"  
"Obviously, you have no experience with kids. Edward, she's four – she's not going to understand what cancer is, let alone what it could do to him. She knows he's sick, that's bad enough. Even if she could understand, I don't want my baby living in fear for her Daddy."  
"But what if…"  
I cut him off, pretty confident I knew what he was going to say next. "If the worst happens… I'll deal with it."  
We sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping our drinks. I had to shake that thought off, and I could feel the tears wanting to form, my throat getting thick. I had to be positive, for Carlisle.

"Carlisle says he doesn't mind the chemo treatment," I continued suddenly, and Edward looked at me again. "It's the side effects that take their toll on him. He's so tired, and the nausea – it makes the days after treatment so hard for him."  
"But what about you, Bella? You look so tired," he said softly.  
"I am," I laughed, before frowning as I stared at my cup.  
"I'm looking after Isla. I'm up in the night and all day looking after Carlisle, I'm trying to work…is it terribly selfish of me to want 5 minutes to myself?"  
"Is that what happened tonight?"  
I nodded. "I just – snapped. Over nothing! I'd taken Isla to Alice's so I could try get some sleep as Carlisle did, but when I got back – he was up, feeling stronger today, and wanted to spend some time with her, and I snapped at him."  
I was shaking my head, the tears threatening to fall.  
"I love him so much – I'd take care of him for the rest of our lives if that's what it took to just be with him, so it's not that I don't want to do this, I…"  
"You're scared."  
"I am," I sighed.  
Slowly his hand reached across the table, squeezing mine. But it wasn't the harsh touch I was used to – it was gentle, friendly.  
"And that's ok. Nobody expects you to be fine with this. Nobody expects you to cope with this – he's probably just as scared, Bella"  
"Carlisle," I repeated, making Edward chuckle.  
"Okay, I'm sorry - Carlisle - is just as scared, and probably more worried about how you're coping. If you get stressed or tired, just explain it to him. Surely, you're not scared of talking to him?"  
"I'm a little scared he'll think I can't handle this. And I can, I just need...a little thinking time."  
"How do you know that's what he's thinking? Have you asked him? Has he told you that?"  
I shook my head.  
"Well then. Just explain it to him. You and _Carlisle_ need to be on the same page with this, or it's just going to get harder."  
"Thank you," I whispered, suddenly glad I had bumped into Edward.  
"No problem."

His kindness had surprised me – I guess I had expected him to tell me I was right, I shouldn't have to deal with this. I thought he'd be set against Carlisle, to drag Carlisle in the dirt, and to make him look like a villain for putting too much pressure on me – I probably expected Edward to tell me I should leave Carlisle, get out of it and start my life again where I wouldn't be dragged down. But his words seemed so sincere, so kind – he was so different.  
"So, how's Alice?" he asked, bringing me from the depths of my wandering mind.  
"She's great – married happily ever after to Jasper; they have a son and 2 more on the way."  
"That's nice – I'm glad you still have her. I'm glad you're happy," he said, his thumb brushing over my knuckles. I'd barely noticed he was still holding my hand.  
Slowly, I slid it away and whispered another thank you before standing.  
"Are you leaving?" he asked, standing, too.  
"Yeah, I told Carlisle I was getting some shopping, and I told Alice I'd pick Isla up early," I explained, and he nodded, reaching down to grab my coat and help me on with it.  
"Well, I hope my being here wasn't too awkward for you," he laughed.  
"No, not at all, I'm…actually glad I had someone to talk to. Thanks again for listening to me."  
"Like I said, no problem," he smiled. "You take care, Bella"  
"You, too," I breathed before leaving.

XxXxx

"And that's all he said?" Alice whispered after I hurriedly told her about my encounter with Edward.  
"Yeah. He was – different."  
"Oh, don't you dare go there again!" she almost hissed at me.  
"Calm down! As if I would! I was just saying, he really does seem different."  
Alice nodded, and I caught a mumbled, "Good."  
"What are you two whispering about?" Jasper asked as he came into the kitchen where we stood watching the kids play.  
"Shoes." Alice smiled, and I noticed him roll his eyes.  
"Planning on breaking my bank account with Christian Louboutin again, are we?" he asked before nuzzling her neck. "So, Bella, how's Carlisle?" Jasper asked as he stepped up to the dishwasher and began to load it.  
"Tired. And I'm being a – cow – so that's not helping. But the doctor gave him some meds to help combat the nausea."  
"You look tired, too. I'm not surprised you're being a cow. Your just like Alice in that department," he winked, making me chuckle.  
"Suppose I am. Well, I best get back and start making it up to him," I said jumping off the stool and going over to the kids. Giving Jake a kiss and cuddle, I picked a sleepy-looking Isla up, and we said our goodbyes, thanking Alice and Jasper for helping out.  
Back at home, I tip-toed around the dark house as I put Isla in bed. "Where's Daddy?" she asked before a yawn.  
"Sleeping, but he sends his little princess a big cuddle and kiss goodnight" I told her as i stroked her hair.  
"Send Daddy cuddles and a kiss, too," she mumbled as her eyelids began to close.  
"I will, baby, I will," I murmured and let her drift to sleep.  
Downstairs, I put the groceries away before pouring myself a big glass of wine and going to sit down. It was only when I switched the light on that I noticed Carlisle wrapped in a blanket and sleeping on the couch.  
Well, he had been sleeping.  
Rubbing his eyes, he slowly sat up.  
"I'm sorry I woke you," I whispered.  
"Are you okay?" he asked, and I laughed.  
"No, not really," I replied, setting my glass down and going to sit next to him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like I did. It was out of order. Can you forgive me?"  
Brushing the hair out of my eyes, he smiled. "Of course I can," he said before kissing me.  
"Thank you," I breathed giving him a quick peck on the cheek.  
"There's some kisses from Isla, too," I told him, and he chuckled a little, running his hand through his hair.  
Standing to get my drink, I noticed Carlisle freeze. "What's wrong?" I asked as I took a sip. When he didn't respond, I panicked quickly. "Are you in pain?" I asked, going back to sit next to him, but when I went to take his hand in mine, I realized what he was staring at.  
There, entwined with his fingers, were strands of his blond hair.  
My gasp was loud as I moved to quickly get rid of it.  
"Carlisle, look at me. Look at me…"  
It took a moment, but his eyes eventually met mine. "It's okay, it's not much you just…it's okay" I whispered, taking him in a hug. "We're going to be okay," I whispered, my eyes shutting tight as I willed the tears not to fall.  
I had to be strong for him, I just had to.

* * *

**Thoughts?**


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I do not Own Twilight, all credit goes to SM

A/N: Hey guys, many thanks to those that made One happy and read, reviewed and alerted my story!

Massive thanks goes to my beta Nachos4Children. I love you so much!

So, here we go... Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 26**

The past few days, Carlisle had been quite subdued, and it was beginning to worry me.

I felt utterly useless, and it was frustrating me.

Today had been a long one, and for no particular reason, I simply wasn't in the mood for fussing around a kitchen, so I popped out to grab dinner from the local Chinese take-out.

Sitting on the hard wooden bench and looking around me, I saw people leaving and heaved a sigh. I had thought this would be quicker.

"Chin up, the food here isn't that bad," someone joked, and I smiled as I looked up to see Edward.

"How are you?" I asked as he sat.

"Oh, I'm doing great – super hot date with moi tonight," he grinned, and I chuckled a little. "How are you?"

I thought about this for a moment before sighing again.

"I've been better," I replied, and his brow furrowed. I watched someone walk past us and waited until they left before I continued.

"You're a guy," I whispered, huddling a little closer to him.

"Well spotted," he smirked, and I tapped his leg playfully.

"Help me understand what's going on with Carlisle," I begged.

Edward sighed as he shifted a little in his seat. "What has you worried?" he asked, and I quickly filled him in on Carlisle, his hair, and his now quiet and reserved behavior.

"I can't pretend to be an expert, and it's not like he's said anything to me, but as a guess, he could just be scared."

"'Scared.' That's the only word I keep hearing. I understand he's scared; I'm just – I'm scared. He's just not acting himself."

"If I put myself in Carlisle's shoes, I'd be worried about what you would think of me, especially if I started losing my hair. I'd probably be worrying that if I lost my hair, maybe you wouldn't find me as attractive," he explained.

"Really? Do you think that's what Carlisle could be thinking?"

Edward shrugged, leaning closer. "Maybe he has some inclination that things aren't running as – smoothly – as he'd hoped, and he doesn't want to worry you."

"He didn't tell me about him being ill for a while," I nodded as I thought back to when Carlisle had hid it all from me in the beginning. "He said he didn't want to worry me while he was just having a few tests."

"Well, there you go, then."

"What should I do?"

"Maybe you just need to...remind him how attracted to him you are. Show him it doesn't really bother you and affect how you are with each other."

My eyes widened at his words. Edward was telling me to seduce Carlisle? It was still surprising me how kind he was being - I still kind of expected him to be a bit of an ass at some point.

I was just thinking about this when my order was called, and I jumped up to retrieve it. Paying, I quickly thanked them and hurried back over to Edward.

"Thank you, Edward," I smiled, and he nodded once.

I was about to leave, when he called out to me. Turning around, he suddenly looked nervous.

"Why don't I give you my number…" he began, and I started shaking my head at him. "Hear me out, Bella – you can call me or text whatever if you need to talk...need advice."

It was a tempting offer. And Edward had been so kind and helpful…

Nodding, I took Edward's number and gave him mine. I wasn't sure if I was making a huge mistake or not, but I didn't feel bad about it - which I took as a good sign. It was just advice, nothing sinister.

Tucking my phone back in my pocket, I looked back at him.

"I better get home before it gets cold. Nice to see you again," I told him.

"No problem. Nice to see you, too," he smiled, and I turned to leave, glancing back through the large window before getting in my car.

Talking to Edward had been rather helpful. Thinking about what he had said, I decided to plan a nice evening for Carlisle and myself.

He had spent the day with Isla, taking her to the movies and then to dinner before coming home and putting her to bed. As I sorted things out in the kitchen, I listened to them on the baby monitor.

Isla's little sighs made me laugh because I knew it was what she did when she was fighting sleep. She had tried to convince her Daddy she wasn't tired at all when they came in, but she could barely hide the huge yawn.

Sitting at the dining room table as I finished setting up, I listened to the story he read her.

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be," he whispered before standing and placing a kiss on her. I heard him put the book back and quietly leave the room. When I sensed him on the stairs, I turned the monitor down a little and put it in the living room before going back to the dining room.

Carlisle made his way downstairs slowly, calling out to me when he reached the bottom.

"In the dining room," I called back, a smile plastered on my face.

Turning the corner into the room, he stopped still as he looked around.

The table was set, candles were lit, and I'd slipped into a little black dress.

"What's all this?" he asked as a smile of his own spread across his face.

I made my way over to him, standing at his side as I took his hand in mine. "It's been a while since we had a date night. So, here it is," I explained. "Ta-da!" I added, waving my free hand as I stepped in front of him.

Chuckling, he spun me around and led me to the table, helping me into my seat before taking his own.

Lifting the lid I had placed on his bowl, he laughed when it revealed treacle sponge and custard – Carlisle's favorite dessert as a boy. "I know you ate with Isla, so I made dessert for you," I grinned proudly.

"I love it," he smiled as we began to eat.

As we ate, we talked - mostly about his day with Isla, my surprise for Alice and the twins, and how I was getting on with my book. It was nice to just sit back and relax, to have fun again in each other's company since things had been a little strained recently.

When we finished, he helped clear up before we retreated to the sofa with some wine and settled down in front of the fire to read.

As usual, I found myself watching Carlisle read more than I read my own book, and I could see the grin appearing as he sighed and turned the book over.

"Do you have to stare like that?" he asked as a free hand ran up and down my bare legs.

"I told you - I like watching you read," I said, running a finger lightly over his arms.

"Well, it's creepy," he mumbled as he began to tickle my feet, knowing just how much I hated that.

"Okay, okay! I give in! I'll stop!" I giggled as I moved to straddle him.

Resting my forearms on his shoulders, I gently played with his hair. He hadn't lost it all, but it was thinner now compared to how it used to be and had lost a little of it healthy shine. I had always loved Carlisle's hair, running my fingers through it, pulling it... it was strange to see him with so little of it and he had been close to just shaving it off. At first i found it odd to look at him but he was still beautiful to me and i asked him to keep what little he had left. I still played with it, as i did now, just gently, and he still seemed to like it.

"You know how much I love you, right?" I told him as my lips grazed lightly over his jaw.

"Right," he confirmed, his hands moving to my bum and squeezing a little.

"Then I also want you to remember that no matter what, you are, and will always be, gorgeous to me."

For a brief second we looked at each other closely, just staring intently until he moved his head back a little.

"Gorgeous? I thought you'd at least say I was beautiful," he teased, playfully tapping my bum.

Clasping my fingers together and pulling on his neck to draw him closer, I nipped teasingly on his bottom lip.

"You are," I breathed before pressing my lips to his.

Slowly, his hands roamed over my back and hips as we kissed, our tongues sweeping over each other's, and when we finally pulled apart, we rested our heads together.

"Thank you," he whispered, stroking my cheek.

I was ready to kiss him again, when he sighed.

"Bella, I need to tell you something," he said and I moved to look at him, swallowing hard. "I need an operation…next week."

"You – what? What for? Next week?" I stuttered, and he nodded, his thumbs rubbing circles over my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, sweetheart, I just…" he sighed again before looking at me properly. "The chemo isn't working as well as we thought, so they want to remove the...the testicle."

I could see in his eyes just how much of the little strength he had left it had taken for him to tell me this, so I listened quietly, waiting for when he was ready.

"It's not really going to affect…things, but I have to ask – have you ever thought about us having more children?"

I was shaking my head, I was nodding – I didn't know what I was doing, really.

"Is that...still possible?" I asked.

"Well, it could be, because the remaining one will take up the burden of the testosterone and will generally have adequate fertility. But if we're really serious about wanting another child in the future, we should perhaps think about sperm banking."

"Well, do you want more children?" I asked first before he could ask me again.

A small smile crept on his face for a moment, but as quickly as I saw it, it was gone.

"I have thought about it."

"So have I," I smiled, and he did, too.

"So, we'll do that, yes?" he confirmed, and I nodded.

"And Carlisle…thank you for finally talking to me," I told him as I stroked his cheek.

"Of course," he replied, kissing me deeply.

XxxX

It had surprised me a little that Edward and I had exchanged numbers, and that we were now texting each other. Sometimes he would drop a text just to see how I was, or I would release a little steam if I felt frustrated about anything.

I did feel bad for talking to Edward behind Carlisle's and Alice's backs, but I just felt so alone at the moment - Carlisle was understandably tired after his operation and getting as much rest as he could, and Alice was so busy at the moment that I just needed someone, and Edward had been such a good friend recently, so I didn't bother them both.

The next time I met up with Edward was on a cold, but sunny afternoon.

Alice had called me that morning in a blind panic after her water had finally broken and her contractions started picking up. Apparently, Jasper wasn't back from where ever he had been and wasn't picking up his phone, so I rushed round to get her, grabbed her stuff, and got her in the car to take her to the maternity ward. On our way, she managed to get ahold of her husband, and scolded him a little before begging him to hurry and meet her there.

Not ten minutes had passed since we had arrived and got Alice checked in, when Jasper showed up, ready to support his wife and sacrifice his hand – I already had nail marks in my skin from Alice's vice-like grip as her contractions became stronger and more frequent.

So instead of taking the kids to playgroup, I wrapped them up in layers of warm clothes and took them to the park nearby, stopping off at a store for a treat first.

It was in there that I saw Edward buying a few things, and I quickly went over, tapping his shoulder for attention.

"Bella!" he greeted me warmly, and I smiled back at him. "What are you up to today?" he asked as I helped the kids pick out a treat.

"Alice has gone into labour, so I'm taking the kids out," I explained.

"So, this is Isla?" he asked, looking down at my daughter, and a small smile spread across his face.

"She's a pretty little girl – much like her mother."

"I think she's more like her daddy," I grinned as I stroked her plaited hair.

As we walked to the checkout, Isla and Jake talked among themselves, and I invited Edward to join us.

"Would you mind? It's just – well, I wondered if I could talk to you," I asked, biting my lip a little.

"Of course, I have a little time," he said as he propped his basket on the side for the cashier.

I began to put my items on the side, but Edward snatched them up and put them with his own.

"My treat," he whispered to the kids before winking at them.

"Edward, no," I protested, taking them back.

"Yes," he said firmly, taking them back.

Looking down, I saw the kids watching us closely, so I gave in. "Thanks, Edward. We'll wait outside," I said before turning away with the kids.

At the park, we watched as Isla and Jake ran around giggling, and I sighed, sitting back on the bench.

"So what's got you down at the moment?" Edward asked.

"The usual – worrying about Carlisle. He just had the operation," I explained.

"Everything…okay?"

"It should be, he's just having tests done to make sure the cancer hasn't spread."

We sat in silence for a moment while I thought.

It felt good, having this conversation out loud, telling someone about how I felt. It was becoming difficult to talk to Carlisle about what he had just been through, and I wanted an outsider's opinion on my worries – was I worrying too much?

"How's Carlisle doing?" he asked, turning in his seat a little to look at me.

"The usual," I laughed, before releasing a noisy breath. "He's hardly talking to me about it, so I don't know how he's feeling, which then worries me that he's perhaps getting depressed…"

Edward waited in silence while I collected my thoughts.

"What if I'm just stressing Carlisle out by worrying about him and hovering over him all the time?"

Edward chuckled, and I shot him a dark look.

"Sorry I just think you are worrying too much! Look at you – worrying about worrying! It's actually quite tiring to keep up with," he said, pretending to yawn.

"Well, I'm sorry if my obsessive worrying is keeping you up," I muttered sarcastically, to which Edward chuckled again.

"Have you talked to him?"

I shot him another look.

"Like I didn't think of that before," I mumbled, rolling my eyes. "Of course I tried talking to him. It's like he won't open up to me, and I thought we were past all that – he knows he can talk to me about anything."

"Bella, it might not be that easy. Yes, he can confide in you and feel secure with you, and I'm sure he still does, but that's not going to stop the situation from bringing him down. Speaking personally – I'd be worried about my manhood."

"Always so vain," I muttered, and he laughed loudly.

"This isn't about vanity, and I don't know him, but Carlisle doesn't strike me as a particularly vain man."

"He's not – vain. Just...confident. If you saw the nurses at the hospital, you'd see why. Carlisle knows he's a good looking man," I smiled.

"Well, then think about it – his manhood, of all things. I bet you two have – or had – a lot of sex, don't you?"

I gasped, turning to face him full on with a blush that started to colour my cheeks.

"I'm not talking to you about my sex life!"

Edward laughed, rolling his eyes a little. "I'm not asking for details, jeez. I'm just saying, if there's one thing a man thinks about a lot, it's sex. A man's member is almost his best friend."

"Just because that's how you think…" I mumbled.

"I said I was speaking personally. Okay, listen – maybe Carlisle just feels…like less of a man at the moment, and now he's worrying about you. He's wondering about how you're going to react to him now. I know I'd be terrified."

"Really? You think he's scared I won't love him, even with just…one testicle" I whispered the last part.

I could see Edward holding in his laugh.

"Yeah, I suppose, though I'm not sure I'd have worded it like that."

"Why not? It is what it is. But can he really be that...naive? I love him! I can't think of much that would make me love him any less. I don't care if he sometimes wears clothes I don't really like, I don't care if he snores lightly, and it bugs me. I don't care if he's only 'half a man,'" I finished, wiggling my fingers.

"I just love him – everything about him," I added. Out the corner of my eye, I saw Edward nodding.

There was silence for a moment as I turned back to the kids, watching them go down the small slide.

"Well, I better be off," Edward said as he checked his watch and stood.

"Oh, okay. Well...thanks again, Edward. You've really been helpful."

"No problem. I'll catch you around," he said, leaning forward to kiss my cheek lightly and he left with a slight nod.

As I watched him walk away, my finger tips grazed over my cheek.

Shaking my head I walked over to the kids, and Isla looked up at me, confused.

"Who was that man?" she asked.

"Just...mommy's friend," I replied quietly before picking them up one at a time and putting them in a swing each, giving them a great big push.

We hadn't been playing much longer after that, when I received a text message from Jasper telling me that two little people were ready to meet us. Without replying, I scooped the kids into the car and took off for the hospital.

When I got there, Alice and Jasper were holding a baby each and cooing over them, and Jake bounded up, excited to see the new babies.

With a huge grin, I made my way to Alice, wrapping her in a hug and looking down at the sleeping baby in her arms.

"Aunty Bella, say hello to Emily."

"Oh, you're just beautiful! Can I?" I asked, holding my hands out, and Alice nodded, placing her in my arms.

As I gently swayed her in my arms and cooed about how cute she was, Jasper bent down to show Jake and Isla the other – and rather noisy – baby.

"Jacob, this is your baby brother – Samuel," he beamed proudly, and Jake looked at him curiously.

It was so cute seeing them both with the babies, and I eventually passed Emily to her daddy so I could cuddle her twin brother. Isla was already making plans to brush the hair Emily hadn't yet grown, and Alice was already pulling out designer babygrows to change them into.

"Where's Carlisle?" Jasper asked as I cooed some more over little Sam.

"I tried calling him, but he didn't answer – maybe he's still asleep," I shrugged. "Here Jasper, hold them both," I said, going over and placing Sam in his free arm. Pulling out my phone, I took a quick snap of them, then put it away.

"Want me to have Jake tonight?" I asked, but Jasper shook his head. "We'll keep him here. I'm going home tonight, so I'd like him with me."

"Okay, then. Well, I better get back and make sure Carlisle is okay and get Isla her dinner, but if you need me, call me," I instructed, and he thanked me with a hug.

"I'll see you later, Momma," I winked at Alice before hugging her, too, and Isla waved bye-bye as I picked her up and left the room.

Back at home, Carlisle was just taking a shower. I was tempted to go join him, but I remembered what Edward had said.

I'd just have to take it one step at a time and let Carlisle come to me. He would, when he was ready.

XxxX

Walking into Alice's house, you just wouldn't imagine she had three kids, two of them being newborn twins.

Not only was the house quiet, but it was tidy – its usual spotless self.

"Honestly, Bella, she's like a machine - a machine in some kind of routine!" Jasper whispered to me as I came through the door.

"Oh no. Do I want to leave before she self-destructs?" I asked, and he grinned.

"Just don't ask her if you can do anything for her – it seems to send her insane," he warned.

"Got it," I smirked as I entered the living room.

There, in the beautiful and large Moses basket Carlisle and I had brought her, were the sleeping twins. Jake was in the playroom where Isla had immediately run off to, and Alice stood in the corner listening to some classical music as she ironed.

"I'm sorry – how long ago did you give birth to two giant babies?" I asked, massively impressed by her work.

"Oh, I know it was only a few days ago – believe me, I'm still sore," she said as she hung one of Jasper's shirts up.

I chuckled at her honest comment as I sat on the sofa looking at the heavy basket Alice was about to bend down for.

"Ali…" I began, but I caught a glimpse of Jasper frantically shaking his head out the corner of my eye, so I stopped myself as she balanced the basket expertly on her hip.

"Hmm?" she asked, picking the coat hangers from the end of the board with the shirts hanging from them.

"I, er… nothing," I mumbled, and she walked out. "Fucking hell!" I mouthed at an amused Jasper.

Five minutes later, Alice was back with drinks and was settling into the sofa to chat.

She was telling me the wonderful tales of motherhood as if I hadn't heard it all from her before or lived through it myself, when Jake came in to say hi. Sitting on my lap with Isla, we had a cuddle.

"Aunty Bella, when can we see Edward again? I like his treats."

I sucked in a sharp breath as Alice glared at Jake for a second.

"Sweetie, who's Edward?" she asked him.

"Bella's friend. He kissed her," he replied innocently, and I groaned.

Alice froze for a moment. Slowly, she put her cup down on the table and called Jasper.

"Babe, can you take Jake and Isla in the garden?" she asked him. When Jasper started to protest, all it took was one look from Alice, and he was taking the kids into the hall to gear up.

When she heard the patio doors close, she rounded on me looking angrier than I'd seen her in a very long time.

"How dare you?" she practically snarled at me. "You don't let a maniac like Edward Mason around MY child! If you want to put Isla in danger like that, then that's up to you, but I trusted you with my son."

"Alice, relax will you? He didn't touch Jake, he barely said three words to them, and he kept his distance."

"That's not the point! It's bad enough that you're trusting him again – you better tell me that was a coincidence and only the second time you've seen him."

Alice waited in silence. I could practically feel the waves of anger rolling off of her.

"Oh my God! How could you?" she exclaimed.

"We just – text. It's nothing!" I defended.

"It's not nothing, Bella! Let me guess – Carlisle has no idea."

"No, he doesn't, and it's going to stay that way."

"Are you insane? Why, of all the people in the world, are you talking to Edward again?"

"Alice, cut him a little slack – he really has changed."

She looked disgusted. In all my years being friends with her, I couldn't really remember this look being directed at me, unless I was wearing bad shoes. This look though – it was intense, and rather scary if I was being honest.

I knew she had a point about Jake and Isla being around him, but I thought she was overreacting a little to the news that I spoke to him on a regular basis.

"Edward's been a friend, someone to talk to."

"And what are Jasper and I? Chopped liver?"

"No! But you have your own things to deal with - wrapped up in your baby bubble. I just feel selfish if I try talk about me."

"Well, I don't think talking to Edward is the answer. The man's a monster – fucking evil."

"He isn't though!" I said as I stood up quickly, starting to get rather angry with her reaction.

"Oh, you really have lost it. I'm sorry, but Carlisle deserves to know, and if you don't tell him, then I will!"

"Really? You'd do that to me? Worry Carlisle at a time like this?"

"Don't play that card! How do you think he's going to feel when he finds out some other way – what if Isla tells him like Jake just told me? Hearing it from the mouth of the kids is going to hurt him far more than hearing it from me."

"Alice, please…don't upset him. Not right now."

She was standing now, her arms folded across her chest. "Why not now? Please tell me you're not sleeping with Edward!"

"Oh really," I answered bitterly and turned away.

"How could you? How could you do this to your family?"

"You know what? If you can't support me, then it really isn't any of your business is it?" I spat, just as Jasper rounded the corner.

"Can you two keep your voices down? Isla and Jake can you hissing at each other."

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I was just leaving." Walking to the back, I got Isla and without another word, I headed to the door.

"I'm Carlisle's friend, too, and I think he deserves the truth," she simply said before I shut the door behind me.

I spent the drive home fighting back tears.

Alice would have surely been on the phone to Carlisle by now, and if she truly believed that I was sleeping with Edward, this would be bad.

Hot tears ran down my face, and I tried to sweep them away, but more fell in their place. I'd have to concentrate to keep my eyes on the road.

Alice was right; I knew she was. And for some reason, I really hated that.

A/N: So guys, what do you think?


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything twilight, Credit goes to SM. I'm just playing with them.

**A/N: **Hello everyone! _*waves*_

As always, thanks to **everyone** who is reading and reviewing and story alerting... you fuel my fire! ;) I'm very grateful, it makes me smile lots

A Huge thank you to my Beta, **Nachos4Children**, mostly for not asking me to add much to this chapter... haha. Love you sweetcheeks. Thanks for the conversations about this, where its heading, how to improve it and correcting my Britishness... I love you greatly.

So, I have some good news and i have some bad news... which would you like first?

The bad news?

Okay. I'm going to give you warning in advance... This story is about to end.

I've been working on this for just over a year and its been amazing, emotional... its been fun. But every rollercoaster has to stop at some point, and we are approaching that destination. The way i work it in my head at the moment, there will be 30 Chapters in total, so that leaves 3 chapters left...

I thank you all for the amazing ride and hope you'll stick around for the end!

Okay, so the good news?

This chapter, i'm going to give you ALOT of Carlisle. In fact, i'm going to give you Carlisle's thoughts.

Its the first, and the last, chapter in Carlisle's point of view.

Yep. This has to come from Carlisle and i'm glad we get an insight into just how he's feeling at the moment...

I hope you all enjoy it!

So, ON WITH THE SHOW!

* * *

**Chapter 27**

**CPOV**

Sighing, I placed the phone back on its charger and sunk into the couch, resting my head back on the cushions.

I knew Bella loved me, there was no doubt about it, but I also knew our relationship had been strained recently.

I felt guilty for not opening up to her, but it was hard for me to put my feelings into words. Well, when it came to the cancer it was.

_I_ was the carer. _I_ looked after people, _I_ made_ them_ better. But I couldn't fix this. It could be quite literally killing me, and I was scared. So I shut down.

The last time I felt this helpless was when it was pretty much confirmed what that bastard was doing Bella. When I figured out the shy, beautiful, bruised girl in my ER was a punching bag for her partner. I wanted to take her away from that so badly, but I couldn't interfere.

At first, I was just a doctor concerned about a patient, but the more I saw Bella, the more concerned I became. I wanted to help her, make sure she was safe. Thoughts of her consumed me, and I tried my best to ignore them, but it was no use. I felt hatred towards Edward then, without even knowing him. What kind of man laid his hands on a woman? Well, a real man wouldn't. Only the worst kind of person would.

And after my phone call with Alice just now – I felt hatred towards Edward again.

But it wasn't just him approaching Bella or even him daring to speak to her again that annoyed me. I was angry with her for letting him.

After everything he had done to her, how could she let him back in her life like that? I could probably answer my own question – Bella was so kind-hearted, and I knew how she felt about second chances. I knew she had felt, when we first got together, that I was her second chance at life – that someone had sent me to her to give her another chance at love, even if she had felt she didn't deserve to be loved. She thought she was too damaged to be loved, and I had proven otherwise to her.

Was that what this was all about? Did she think Edward deserved a second chance? That even as damaged as he was, someone should give him a chance?

I winced as the memory of Bella lying on the floor in her home flashed across my mind. She was so badly beaten, so broken...I couldn't let that happen to her again.

_"Carlisle, it's Alice."_

_"Good morning, Alice. How are you?"_

_"I've...been better," she sighed._

_"Are you unwell?" I asked, the doctor inside me jumping to life. I hadn't been at work for so long, and I missed it so much I'd even take trying to treat someone for a cold over the phone right now._

_"Well, it does make me feel a little sick," she mumbled, and I heard Jasper warn her a little in the background._

_"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked, and she sighed again._

_"Carlisle, I need to talk to you about something that probably isn't...well, I know it won't be...pleasant to hear. But I simply had to let you know…"_

_I stopped what I was doing, and for a moment panic filled me. Had something happened to Bella? Isla?_

_"Please, just tell me," I begged._

_"Bella's been…seeing Edward."_

_My breathing stopped. My eyes widened a little. I don't know how long I sat like that - it was probably only a matter of seconds, but it felt like time had stopped, and I only snapped out of it when I heard Alice say my name several times._

_"See-seeing Edward?" I stuttered, my voice barely anything._

_"Yes," she answered quietly._

_We sat in silence for a moment, and I tried to wrap my head around her words._

_"What do you mean, 'seeing Edward'?" I asked in the same quiet tone._

_"She's been meeting him to talk," Alice replied in a tone that suggested she didn't fully believe that was all there was to it._

_"Wha – for how long?"_

_"I don't know. Carlisle, I'm not calling to tattle-tale on her and get her into trouble, so to speak. I'm calling you because I think you deserve to know, and I'm worried about Bella. I'm worried about her spending time with him. She says he's changed, that he's nicer now, but I still don't trust him."_

_"Why is she spending time with him? What's going on?"_

_She hesitated for a moment before she answered. "She says she's been talking to him. I don't know, maybe she's getting advice."_

_What?_

_"Wait – she talks to him, about us, about our relationship, about…my problems?"_

_"I think so," she mumbled._

_"How long have you known?" I asked, now getting rather upset._

_"I just found out from the kids, and we argued about it – she's on her way home now."_

_"You found out from the kids?" I almost shouted._

_"Carlisle, I'm not happy about it either…"_

_"Why would she do something like that?" I asked, more to myself than to Alice._

_"Just talk to her - make her see right," she begged._

_Clearing my throat, I nodded and took a deep breath to calm myself down. "Er, thanks for calling, Alice. I'll speak to you soon."_

_"Take it easy, Carlisle," she whispered before we hung up._

That phone call was still swimming round and round my head, Alice's words haunting me – hurting me.

Edward - of all people to talk to - she chose Edward. I knew he was back in town; I'd heard the gossip when I'd gone out one morning, but I didn't imagine for a second that she would be in contact with him.

It hurt me to think that she would confide in him, tell him everything. And what suddenly made him so trustworthy?

Shaking my head, I sat forward resting my elbows on my knees. I would wait, and speak to Bella about this.

Just then, there was a knock on the door, and I looked up, staring at the wall as if it would magically tell me who it was.

Striding down the hallway as best as I could manage in my sorry, sore state, I yanked the door open to find a huge bouquet of flowers.

"Miss Swan?" a voice asked before a face appeared as the flowers were lowered.

I nodded, and his brow creased, so I shook my head. "Well, I'm not her, but she lives here."

'She lives here.' It sounded like she was my roommate, not my partner.

"Can I leave these with you then, sir?" he asked, and I nodded dumbly again. After signing a little receipt, he handed the flowers over and left. I just stood there holding them.

Eventually, I remembered how to walk and stepped back inside, closed the door, and headed down to the kitchen.

Placing them on the counter top, I stared at them for a few moments. Who would send Bella flowers like this?

A name constantly flashed across my mind, almost in big, bright, bold, flashing, jumping, screaming, in-my-face letters.

Carefully, I plucked the little card from between two roses and opened it.

_Cheer up!_

_Edward x_

Why would he be sending her flowers?

I couldn't quite process exactly what this meant, though I had a pretty good idea, and I found myself sinking to the floor against the cabinets.

Bella had perhaps found a little too much comfort with Edward.

I didn't want to think of her like that - with him - and tried to convince myself it wasn't what I thought.

But the more I caught a glimpse of those beautiful peach and yellow roses out the corner of my eye, the angrier I got.

The idiot didn't even know what her favorite flowers were.

Standing up, I picked a rose from the bunch and leaned against the table, picking petals from it one by one.

With each petal that fell to the floor, I felt like I was losing a part of myself.

When I heard the front door open and close, I dropped the remains of the flower to the floor and turned to greet Isla running down the hall and calling to me. Scooping her up, I hugged her tighter than I usually did. I just needed to be close to her.

I listened while she excitedly told me about the twins, and when Bella finally entered the kitchen, not once looking at me, Isla asked her mommy for her phone, to quickly show me a picture that had been snapped. They looked bigger already.

Handing it back to her mother who was now studying the flowers and picking up the card, she asked if she could go play with dolls, and I nodded without really listening. I put her down and let her run off into the playroom.

Bella dropped the card to the table and stared at them, wide-eyed.

"Of all people, why Edward?" I asked, wanting to get right to the point. She was shaking her head, tears adding to her already stained cheeks. I sighed, bending down to pick up the crumpled one and its petals from the floor.

It looked how I felt.

The anger was rising within me as she just stared at the flowers, her tears falling silently.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, and she still didn't look at me. "Bella, please! Just look at me!" I begged, though I must have sounded angrier than I thought, and she sobbed a little before looking up to me.

"I...didn't want to...hurt you," she cried, taking shaky breaths every three words or so.

"But you lied to me! About where you were going, who you were seeing, all for another man!" I snapped.

Her finger tips were fighting a losing battle as she tried to bat away the tears, and she soon gave up with a whimper. "It's not what you think," she muttered as I paced.

"Then what is it? Because from where I'm standing it looks like you had an affair with Edward."

"Alice called you, didn't she?" she asked, but gave me no time to reply as she continued. "I told her not to upset you; I knew what this would do to you. I bet she told you about the kiss, too, didn't she?"

My breath caught in my throat and my eyes widened before I crumpled against the side of the table. I could feel the tears threatening to spill, and I grabbed the table for support

"You...kissed him?" I choked and watched as her face crumpled, too.

"Alice didn't tell you that part…" she murmured, and I shook my head.

"She told me you were talking to Edward, and she was worried about you," I explained.

"The kiss…it's not what you think."

"Then what is it, Bella? Because I'm struggling to understand. Your spending time with him behind my back, he's sending you bunches of flowers, you just told me you kissed him! What is it? Is he giving you more than I can? I mean, let's face it, I'm only half a man now."

I could feel my own tears fall as she just stood there, not saying a word and I turned away from her, resting my elbows on the side, my head in the palms of my hands.

"Carlisle…" she started, but I shook my head, and she fell silent.

"Not now, please," I whispered.

I didn't look up at her, even when I heard her leave the room. Instead, I made my way to the playroom to sit with Isla.

I winced a little when I heard the front door open and close.

I knew I was pushing her closer to him, but I didn't know what else to do.

I'd been here before.

_"The entire town is laughing at me! Talking about me behind my back – talking about MY wife fucking someone else!" I shouted, tears burning my eyes._

_"Oh, don't exaggerate," she laughed as she examined her nails._

_"Exaggerate? You think I'm exaggerating? Do you know how humiliating it is when a temp from another town is gossiping at the nurse's station about my marriage? When even she has seen you out with another man?"_

_"Carlisle, please. She knows nothing." She still wasn't giving me any eye contact, but at least she looked a little awkward now. She'd been denying her affair for so long, and I'd been such a pushover…_

_With a sigh, I fell onto our bed and just sat and stared at her. Eventually, she walked over and straddled me as she wrapped her arms around my neck._

_"Listen…they're wrong, Carlisle. Yes, they saw me out in town with another man, but he's a client."_

_She was kissing along my jaw now, her hips moving gently against me._

_I couldn't help the moan that escaped. I felt her smirk on my cheek; she knew she was winning._

_"I love you, Carlisle," she whispered, pulling my mouth to hers._

_"Then let's move - have a fresh start," I suggested._

_"You want to move? Where?"_

_I shrugged. "Maybe we could go to England…"_

_"Carlisle, I'm sorry, I just can't move to England, not right now. You know how ill my dad is."_

_I nodded._

_"What about Forks?" she suggested. "It's not so far away, so I'm still close enough for Dad, and I bet the hospital there could do with a good doctor like you."_

_Smiling, I agreed…_

I'd been distraught to learn Esme was actually cheating on me, just before our move here. But I had been determined to make it work. She had agreed to the move anyway, and that we'd start fresh. She said the affair was a mistake, one that she deeply regretted.

I just wished I'd realized then why she chose Forks. Little did I know, her lover actually lived here.

But I couldn't regret the decision to move here – it had brought me Bella.

But now it just felt like things were going full circle. Here I was, again - wondering if the woman I loved was cheating on me.

Concern filled Isla's tiny face when I didn't respond to her tea party request, and I rubbed my face hard, trying my best to push it all aside and spend some quality time with my daughter. Who knew how long it would last?

I felt I'd almost forced Esme to stay with me, and I'd only pushed her further into Emmett's arms. I wouldn't do that with Bella. I would let her go, just to see her happy, no matter how much it would hurt me.

XxxxX

"Daddy, watch Princesses," Isla begged for the fifth time, her beautiful eyes and adorable little pout almost making me give in.

"Ahh, I think Daddy would rather watch Toy Story," I smirked.

"How about a deal?" she suddenly asked, and I indicated for her to continue. "Watch Princesses and then Woody."

I chuckled at her compromise and agreed, shaking hands and kissing her forehead.

We were about ten minutes into Tangled when there was another knock at the door.

"Is that Mommy?" Isla asked as I got up.

"I don't think so, sweetheart. Just wait here," I instructed and headed down the hall to answer it.

Opening the door, I just stood and stared.

"Carlisle," he greeted with a small nod.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, quite ready to just slam the door or my fist in his face.

"We need to talk."

"No, we really don't," I spat, stepping back and beginning to close the door, but his foot jammed it, and he pushed it back open.

"Carlisle, please, we need to talk about Bella," he said again.

The soft tone to his voice surprised me, and I looked him over before finally nodding and stepping back so he could enter. Closing the door behind him, I walked down the hall and motioned him to follow, turning to watch closely as he looked around the house.

Well, at least it appeared he hadn't been here before.

Stepping into the dining room, I warned him to keep his voice down with Isla being in the next room, and he nodded.

"I just want to talk, that's all," he reassured me.

"It's Mommy's friend!" Isla beamed when she looked in and saw Edward. I saw him smile at her, but turned away when I ground my teeth.

"Princess, watch the movie, Daddy's just going to have a talk," I smiled, and she grinned, turning back to the film.

"You've got five minutes. Go."

Edward cleared his throat as he put his hands in his pockets and looked around some more. "You have a nice home," he complimented, but I wasn't interested in small talk.

"Get to the point," I said sharply, and he nodded before beginning.

"Bella's been to see me," he started, which only caused me to grind my teeth some more. "I sent her the flowers simply because I wanted to cheer her up. She's told me a lot about what's going on with her – with you – at the moment, and I just…I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to upset you or to cause an argument between you both."

"I'm sure," I spat, and he groaned

"Please, just – listen. Bella's rather upset, she left my apartment in tears – she thinks you're going to leave her."

"Why would that bother her so much? She has you."

Edward laughed, making me jump just the smallest bit. "She does, but not in the way you think. NOTHING has happened between Bella and I. Nothing at all. We bumped into each other, and she needed an outsider's ear - someone to listen to her. That's all I gave her. I've spent the past few weeks giving her advice on how to make things better between you both!"

"You what?"

"Bella worries about worrying you because she's so worried! It's really messed up," he explained as he noticed my confused expression.

"So, you're telling me you didn't for one moment lay your hands her? There was no kiss?" I asked, already knowing the answer. It was confirmed again when his face flushed a little.

"Okay, here's the deal - I kissed her. I know I shouldn't have, after all, I am fully aware she's a taken woman, but I just – I kissed her cheek. That's all. I've done a lot of growing up and rehabilitating while I've been...away, and I know how much of a mistake I made with Bella. I was so wrong to treat her that way, and because I let my past problems get in the way and take control over my behavior, I've lost the one good thing I'll ever have. I admit – I have feelings for Bella, but she doesn't return them, Carlisle."

"She doesn't?"

He shook his head. "She loves you so much! I'm quite jealous, actually. All we've ever talked about is how amazing you are, how much she loves you, how worried she is about you, how she could show you exactly what you mean to her, how she could get you to understand that you can open up to her, and so on. You're all she ever talks about - you and her perfect little family. I was just a convenient ear, someone who she knew wouldn't bullshit her and tell her everything was going to be all right like Alice did. She loves her best friend to pieces, but Alice – and you, by the sound of things – wrapped her in cotton wool, and it annoyed her."

"I – we – just want to protect her," I muttered.

"I understand that, but you're underestimating her – she's stronger than you think, and she can handle it. You were just piling on the problems for her, adding to her worry."

"Are you done making me feel bad now?" I asked sarcastically, but he answered anyway.

"No, not unless you see you're making a huge mistake pushing her away like this. Believe me, I've been there - I've lost the one good woman I'll ever have, and it hurts. When I was sitting in that lonely cell at night, I had nothing to think about other than how much it hurt to lose her. So don't go making my mistake, Carlisle, because you're not like me. You treat her like she deserves. You've given her everything she wants, and right now, there's nothing she wants more than you. Honestly, she's told me plenty of times."

"It's too late," I sighed, sticking my hands in my pockets. "I've pushed her away now."

"That's what you think? Are you not listening to me? It wouldn't matter to her how much I've changed, how much I'm willing to give her, how much I love her – you win. You're always going to win. I mean, you're only 'half a man', but you're more of a man to her than me! I'm...nothing. Carlisle, SHE LOVES YOU! She's scared you're going to leave her, scared that the only contact she'll get with you is when you pass Isla between you both for visits. She thinks she's ruined the future she had planned with you because she sought some advice from me."

I looked at him, unsure what to say. For a moment, I was angry - angry he attacked the one thing I now hated about myself, but then I could understand Bella talking to this guy – he wasn't anything like he had been, and she was probably right to trust him. He was being honest, telling me like it was. And it was like Edward said – I clearly underestimated her.

I ran my hands over my face, groaning. "How could I be so stupid?" I mumbled, and Edward laughed.

"Don't sweat it – at least you've still got time. Just – do me a favor, if you can?" he asked, and I motioned for him to continue. "Look after her. I know I shouldn't, but I do love her. She's this amazing, strong, funny, caring, beautiful woman, and she deserves to be loved. I know you can give her that. I can see how much you love her – I could see it that night at the restaurant how much you cared for her, even then. I was jealous then, and I'm jealous now. But I just want to see her happy."

Clearing my throat, I smiled. "Thank you, Edward. Really, thank you for coming to speak to me, to clear things up. It makes you a better man."

"No problem. See you around," he grinned before waving goodbye to Isla and leaving.

As I watched the end of the movie snuggled up to Isla, I thought about everything Edward had said, and everything I could do to get Bella back. If she loved me the way he said she did, there was one thing I knew I wanted to do.

With Bella, the world could be ablaze, and I would still find peace and hope within her. I could do anything with my Isabella by my side.

Picking up the phone, I dialed a number and spoke as fast as I could when she answered. "I need to see you – now, please."

Sitting Isla in my lap, I waited, nerves filling me.

**A/N: **Well, well, well! What are we all thinking?

Shout at me, abuse me, priase me... whatever you like, i love reading your comments.

I also want to quickly mention something something that is personal to me and means alot to me. by all means, skip past this if you wish, but i'll be very grateful to those who give it a read.

I'll try keep it short, i promise.

In 2009 i gave birth to my Daughter who has a few disabilities and development problems.

She had to stay in hospital for 10 weeks after her birth and has regular hospital stays now when she is ill.

To mark her Third birthday this August, i am spending the year raising Money for the local childrens hospital. It will be donated to wards and the neo natel unit and will buy toys, televisions, clothes and equipment for sick children.

As a part of this fundraising, i contacted our very own Dr Carlisle Cullen, AKA Peter Facinelli, who has very kindly sent me some signed pictures of Carlisle (From the twilight movie... good hair - Check. Blue Shirt - Check. Lab Coat - Check. Sexy? Check) for me to auction to raise money.

I am, of course, very thankful to Peter for doing this.

So i'm starting to get the message out.

If you would like to help raise money for the childrens wards and get yourself a signed picture of one Dr Carlisle Cullen, Give me a follow on Twitter (At)Fionarhiannon where i will be posting more information soon.

(I also use that account to complain about things in life that dont seem fair, or to talk lots about Peter, just to warn you)

Don't be afraid to say Hi either :)

Thats your lot! x


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or the characters used in this story, all credit goes to S.M

**A/N: **Hello! As always i would like to thank you lovely lot for reading my story, reviewing and everything else you do - It really does mean alot! Thank you so, so much!

I'm glad you guys are still enjoying this story.

And of course i want to thank my Beta, Nachos4Children for doing a wonderful job. :)

So, as i said last chapter, we are coming to the end now. I have one more chapter to write and then an epilogue planned. So i'm feeling a little teary about this at the moment. ;)

But that does mean everything should start coming together now, so i'll leave you all to enjoy this chapter!

* * *

**Chapter 28**

Pulling the door closed behind me, I quickly jumped into my car and backed out the drive - I didn't know my destination, I just…had to get out.

My fight with Carlisle had been ridiculous – I'd clammed up, not been able to explain myself properly, or explain Edward and I. I could see how this would look to him. I could see it in the pain etched on his face - the pain that I had caused.

I slammed my hand against the steering wheel and cursed myself in anger. How could I be so stupid to let this happen?

I also couldn't understand how Carlisle could think in the first place that I would actually do that to him. There really was no contest between them.

With Edward, the truth was that there had always been an uncomfortable atmosphere. He tried to shield me - mostly from who he really was. He had only ever given me half-truths and wanted to control me. Unfortunately, I had let him, and it hadn't been a healthy relationship. Sure, he seemed to have changed now, and he appeared to be the Edward I had once fallen in love with. He had been helpful and kind, and not once laid a harsh finger on me. But when I looked at him now, I didn't love him. Sure, I had started to care, as one would for a friend, but I could never love him again, and certainly not in a romantic way.

But Carlisle - It was comfortable, there was no stiffness to his embrace - he treated me like an equal. He let me be me and actually loved me that way. He excited me, and when we made love, we seemed to fit together, working together and leaving each other fully satisfied. He had shown me true love, and I loved him so much in return. The past eight years I had known him had been the most amazing of my life – I just couldn't let it all slip away.

Pulling over, I reached for my phone and dialed, only to reach her answering machine. I wasn't really surprised that Alice was still handing out the silent treatment.

Scrolling through my contacts, I found Edward's number and called.

He picked up after a few rings. "Hello?"

"I really need to see you," I told him, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice.

He agreed, and I could hear the glee in his voice as he gave me his address. I quickly ended the call, throwing my phone to the passenger seat and drove off as fast as the speed limit would allow.

Pulling up outside the private, expensive-looking apartments, I wondered if some things ever changed.

Finding his door on the second floor, I knocked with quite some force, and didn't have to wait long for it to be yanked open. There Edward stood, grinning. He invited me in and offered me something to drink as he showed me to his living room area.

Edward's expensive taste was certainly the same as it had always been. The apartment was minimal - there were just five items to this room – his cream couch, a wide screen television, a surround system, a coffee table, and a plant. I saw hardly any personal touches to it besides a few magazines scattered on the coffee table next to his laptop.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.

I sighed. "No, not really."

"What's wrong? Is it Carlisle?"

"Yes, it's Carlisle. Edward, why did you send me those flowers?"

"To cheer you up…like the card said."

"Carlisle got them; I wasn't home."

His smile disappeared. "Oh. Did I upset him?"

"It's safe to say that yes, you did."

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, fiddling with his fingers.

"Sorry? Sorry isn't going to cut it this time. Carlisle's completely shut me out now - pushed me away," I told him as fresh tears rolled down my cheeks.

Edward stretched an arm out toward me, but I shook my head and he reluctantly lowered it.

"He's going to leave me," I continued, fearing that the most.

"Bella, you don't know - " he began, but my sudden angry outburst cut him off.

"He couldn't even look at me! He's feeling down enough as it is - he thinks he's only half a man! He thinks he's nothing to me," I shouted, and he held his hands up in defense.

"Over some flowers?"

"No! Well...yes and no." I quieted down, and took a noisy breath before I explained. "Jake told Alice you kissed me, and she went off the rails at me and told Carlisle I'd been spending time with you. And he got understandably upset."

"But why? We're friends," Edward said, confused.

"Well, he doesn't see it that way, and stupid me couldn't even find the words to deny it, and explain."

"I'm so sorry – all I wanted to do was cheer you up. I hated seeing you look so down, and I didn't really expect him to see them."

I cut him off again with my laughter. "He fucking lives there! Even if he didn't see the note, he's bound to notice a bunch of roses!"

"I'm sorry, okay? I just didn't think!"

Edward looked genuinely upset, but I really couldn't let that get to me right now. I couldn't be a soft touch, not now.

"Well, your lack of thought has cost me my relationship and my future – everything that was important to me! I can't believe you'd be so careless! I'm so glad you and I never got married, it would have been a bigger disaster than the relationship was!"

He stood, suddenly pacing the room as I wiped some more tears away. "You really love him, don't you?" he asked. He stopped and glanced my way - I sighed at his crestfallen look.

Why he would ask such a question – wasn't it obvious? But I didn't want to know what Edward was thinking. Slowly, I nodded. "I love him with every fiber of my being. I admire him…"

Edward held his hand up, not looking at me, his eyes closed, and I fell silent. "I get the picture," he muttered.

"I'm scared, Edward" I whispered after a moment, wrapping my arms around my own waist.

Opening his eyes, he moved to sit on his couch. "Why?" he sighed.

"Because I'm going to lose him! I don't want our only contact to be when we pass Isla between us for visits. I couldn't bear it." I whispered the last part.

Edward just nodded as I realized – he really wasn't in the mood to help me right now.

Taking a deep breath, I turned to leave. "I don't think we should see each other anymore," I said softly, his head snapping up to look at me. He looked like he wanted to argue, but as his eyes roamed my face, his expression turned sad, and he simply accepted it.

I didn't look back as I showed myself out of his apartment.

xXx

I didn't realize I'd been driving for so long until I noticed the gas light flashing at me, and I looked at the clock – I'd been gone for four hours, and not heard a thing.

Carlisle was probably too busy packing…

Pulling up at the pump, my mind wandered over images of Carlisle and Isla - hand in hand - leaving through the front door, suitcases in their spare hands, not once looking back.

A small part of my mind called it out as bullshit – I knew Carlisle wouldn't take Isla from me like that, but I still couldn't stand to watch him leave, even if he was alone.

The shrill ringing of my phone drew me back to the present.

"Hello?" I answered glumly.

"You could at least be a little more excited I'm even considering talking to you again," Alice said playfully, but I wasn't in the mood for her games.

"After what you've done?" I said bitterly.

Alice sighed sadly. "Please don't be angry with me, Bella."

"Don't be angry? You just ruined my relationship!"

"I need to see you - to apologize in person. Will you please come round?" she asked.

I thought for a moment before agreeing. I wanted to explain to her, make her understand. "I'll be there soon," I told her before hanging up.

Throwing my phone into the passenger seat once again, I headed out to see Alice.

When she opened her front door, I could see tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm really so very sorry, Bella," she said, letting me in. When the door closed, she let a tear spill. "I hate fighting with you, and I'm sorry I reacted that way."

"I just wish you'd listened to me," I sighed.

"I should have," she muttered as we walked into the living room.

"You shouldn't have gone telling Carlisle. Do you have any idea how devastated he is? Me talking to Edward was nothing, and now Carlisle's so upset with me..."

"How upset?" she asked.

Sitting down on the couch, I told her about my fight with Carlisle.

"Well, I'm not surprised," she muttered. I gave her a warning look before she mumbled another apology.

"I've really fucked up, Alice," I said thickly. I couldn't even cry anymore, I was so drained.

"You have," she simply said, taking my hand.

"Gee, thanks. Some apology this is," I grumbled, and she smirked.

"I just - I don't understand. What were you doing letting someone like him back in your life?"

"There's no rule that says you can't be friends with your ex."

"Sure," she shrugged "With one exception – as long as he's not a sleazy jerk."

I let out an exasperated sigh. "I told you, he's different now. He hasn't tried anything, he's not pushing for us to be together," I reminded her, still wanting to defend him, despite what I had said earlier.

"Ok, so he's not a sleazy jerk anymore, but - what was with the kiss?"

"An innocent peck on the cheek as he said goodbye." She rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything so I continued. "He just listened to me and gave me unbiased advice. But it doesn't matter. I've told Edward I don't want to see him anymore."

"When?"

"Well, I went over to his apartment after my fight with Carlisle - and don't freak out at me," I said as she opened her mouth to speak. She huffed, and dropped whatever she was going to say for something else.

"What did you talk about?" she asked. I could see the question was a forced one, but I ignored that and answered.

"Carlisle. That's all we ever spoke about."

I noticed her relax a little.

"I wanted to know why he sent the flowers – I wanted to shout at him, blame him."

"For what though? A petty argument?"

"Well, you've changed your tune a little."

Alice shrugged. "Look, I shouldn't have doubted you like I did. But Bells…I was scared, too. I thought Edward would talk you round, that you'd make the biggest mistake of your life and fall in love with him and leave Carlisle. I was worried about you. I thought maybe Edward was manipulating you somehow. But you have to understand, it wasn't just about you – I was worried about Carlisle."

I nodded as I squeezed her hand.

"I know. And I love you for looking out for me - for us. But it's too late now."

"Why do you say that like you've given up? What is with you two?" she muttered, agitated.

"I'm sorry? Have you spoken to Carlisle today?" I asked, turning to face her more.

"I…may have," she replied, not looking at me, and I crumpled against the cushions.

"He's going isn't he? I've pushed him too far with this," I wanted to cry again, but I just didn't have the energy.

"If you believe that, why on earth are you here and not at home kissing his ass?" She smacked my leg playfully.

"You really think talking to him will do some good?" I wondered, biting my bottom lip. I truly believed it was too late – Carlisle deserved so much better than the way I had treated him recently.

"I know Carlisle better than I let on," she said matter-of-factly. "He's a reasonable man, and one that's totally in love with you. Do you love him enough to want to make it work?"

"Of course I do! I'll love him forever…" I trailed off, suddenly thinking.

"Lightbulb?" Alice smirked, and I grinned at her.

"I'll fill you in later," I said getting up suddenly. I pecked her cheek and rushed off as quick as my clumsy legs would carry me.

xXx

When I walked through the front door, the first thing I noticed was the obvious darkness and how quiet it was.

Flicking on the hall light, I searched for the time – it was well past Isla's bedtime, which was probably why it was so quiet, and guilt tugged at my heart strings. No matter how upset I was, I shouldn't have walked out on her.

Hanging up my coat on the end of the stair banister, I was about to go up to see her, just to sit by her bedside and give my angel a kiss, when I saw Carlisle standing in the doorway to the living room. I smiled warmly at him, but he didn't return it. He looked deep in thought, as though he was waging some kind of war deep inside himself.

"We need to talk," he said simply, turning back into the room, and I swallowed hard as I stepped to follow him. This wasn't looking good.

Peering into the front room, I saw him by the lit fire place staring at the flames until he eventually looked at me, and motioned for me to sit down.

I did so slowly, not once taking my eyes off him as he came and sat next to me.

"Bella, I know things haven't been great for us recently…" he began, but I couldn't let him finish that sentence – he had to hear me out.

I quickly dropped to my knees in front of him and took his hand in mine tightly. "Carlisle, just hear me out," I begged. He looked shocked, and just nodded. "Give me another chance to make you happy, to make it right again." He tried to say something, but I shook my head. "Please let me finish," I asked, and he nodded again.

Always a gentleman.

Taking a steadying breath, I licked my lips before I began.

"I have never felt happier than when I'm with you. I admire you – your strength, your compassion, how kind you are. I love how dedicated you are – even if I do hate it when you have to skip out to go do something at work - I still admire you. You are amazing at what you do, and I'm not just saying that. You're loving, caring, romantic. You're a brilliant father - the perfect role model. You make me feel comfortable and loved – accepted. I feel safe with you, and I don't think I could ever love a man more. And that's why…"

I shifted my weight and balanced on one knee.

"Carlisle Cullen, I would be truly honored if you would be my husband. I want to be with you, in every single way, for the rest of our lives."

He was staring at me, his eyes wide, mouth agape.

My throat felt thick with emotion and worry, and I began to panic internally. Externally, I was watching him like a hawk, every flicker his eyes made, the rise and fall of his chest as his breathing picked up…the most beautiful of smiles that spread across his face.

He bent down, and I sighed contentedly as his thumb brushed over my cheek.

"Nothing would make me happier," he whispered before his lips pressed against mine.

Oh God, how I'd missed this. I could feel our smiles mirror each other's as I wound my arms around his neck and pulled him deeper, our mouths opening, our tongues dancing slow and sexy as they glided along one another.

His hands eagerly found my skin and ran over all they could find. That touch felt magical to me and my skin prickled under his. Separating my hands, I tugged at his navy polo shirt collar and down to the buttons, undoing them.

The kiss broke for a moment as we looked between us at my fingers gently stroking his skin that the buttons revealed. Moving my hands down by his sides, I gripped the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, then tossed it to the floor.

My hands traveled over his body as I began to place gentle kisses all over him, and he moaned a little, his pants already starting to bulge.

It had been a while for both of us.

Slowly, I undid his pants and felt his body stiffen as he sucked in a deep breath.

Leaning back, I gently stroked him through the material. I hadn't seen Carlisle since he had his operation, and I had to admit, even I was a little nervous. For him, this would probably be worse than when he had the lump, so I had to go slowly for the sake of his confidence.

He nodded his head, a silent agreement to a question I didn't need to ask, and I pulled his pants down, letting them pool at his feet as I kissed the skin around his boxer-briefs. I kissed him a few times through the material, but didn't want to spend too much attention to that area. I traveled slowly back up his body and locked with his lips again as I slid my hands into his underwear.

If I was honest, I kind of just wanted to feel it before I saw it. I knew my expression would probably betray me if I were shocked.

But he felt so good, my hand wrapped tightly around him, and it didn't feel too bad, so I pushed those thoughts aside – Carlisle's pleasure was all that mattered now.

Nudging his legs apart, I wiggled between them, but pleasure was now the last thing on my mind as I yelped out in pain.

Carlisle leaned forward, worried, and asked if I was okay. I looked down to the floor and found the cause of my discomfort. There, on the floor next to Carlisle's pants, was a small black box that I kneeled on. I picked it up and held it so Carlisle could see, and his cheeks flushed a little as he took it from me.

"I, er, had a whole speech planned out. I thought about it while I was out with Alice, which rather annoyed her actually – she dislikes my lack of jewelery knowledge," he chuckled.

"When did you see Alice?"

"This afternoon after - look, can we talk about this later?" he asked, nodding between his legs, making me giggle. Holding the box out, he popped open the lid to reveal a beautiful sparkling ring.

"It's beautiful," I whispered, and he grinned proudly.

"This is the ring I picked. It's a white gold, princess cut diamond ring. Alice was rooting for a bigger rock," he laughed.

"Typical," I murmured, rolling my eyes.

"Would you?" he asked, holding out his hand for mine, and I gave it to him, grinning as he slipped the ring onto my finger.

Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out my own small box. "I…kind of got you a ring. I didn't know if you'd be up for wearing an engagement ring…" I mumbled, twirling it around.

"Let me see it," he smiled, and I opened the box. "It's just a band with a small diamond set inside…"

"Of course I'll wear it," he said, and I grinned again, taking it out and sliding it on his finger.

One second we were staring at the rings that sat comfortably on our fingers, the next we were kissing again, back to where we were before.

The next thing I knew, Carlisle was gently guiding me back into the cushions, his hand wrapped in my hair, my hips grinding against his. I was beginning to feel impatient and wet - so wet - just thinking about him this way.

His free hand traveled down to my bottoms and undid them, and I quickly tugged them off, earning a little chuckle from Carlisle. "Eager are we?" he whispered against my skin.

"I've just missed you," I whispered back, and he nodded as he breathed in my scent.

"I can tell," he said as he touched my hot center, and I gasped as his fingers slid inside.

His fingers moved in and out of me slowly, his thumb teasing my clit, and I arched against him. It felt so good…

Reaching between us I grabbed him, wrapping hand around him again and gently pumping. We moaned together, the feel of it all amazing, until we couldn't wait any longer – I wanted him now.

Positioning his body over mine, he gently pushed himself inside, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, wanting more of him. Gently, Carlisle rocked against me, the feel of him inside me every bit as amazing as I thought it would be, and his breathing picked up as he thrust faster, harder.

Unlocking my ankles and resting them to the side, I ground myself against him, just as he lifted my top and quickly took a nipple to his mouth, sucking on it gently.

"Oh God, Carlisle…" I moaned, already feeling myself build.

He hummed when he heard his name, so I repeated my moans, moving in time with his hips, trying to hang on, but it was no use. When he placed his hands flat on the sofa above my head and leaned back, pushing into me harder, I lost it all and came intensely, trying my best not to scream his name too loudly.

He smiled as I did so, and thrust even harder, pleasing me again as I rode the first one out.

With one hand supporting him, his other caressed my breast, his fingers teasing the hard, rosy bud, until my name escaped his lips as his hips bucked a few more times, his orgasm over, too.

Panting, Carlisle sat back against the cushions, pulling me close to him. I rested my head on his sweaty, racing chest. I looked at my ring, the way it sparkled in the artificial light before I gazed up at Carlisle, who grinned lazily.

_Mrs. Carlisle Cullen…Dr. and Mrs. Cullen_…I liked the sound of it as his finger tips made patterns on my hot skin.

"Interesting proposal - what made you ask me?" he asked.

"I knew I wanted to be with you, and well, I want your name with it. And it's a leap year – traditionally a woman can ask her man," I winked, his grip around me tightening a little as he laughed.

I turned to look at him. "So, you weren't going to leave me then?"

"No."

"What made you ask me?"

"Well, I know you said marriage wasn't something you wanted, and honestly, I didn't want it again, either – until I was with you. It was something someone said to me that changed my mind."

"Alice?"

He shook his head. "Edward came to see me."

I almost jumped forward, staring in disbelief

"Don't worry – he explained everything. Bella, I'm sorry. I should have listened to you. You were right, he _has_ changed. He came and told me everything: all about your conversations, what's been happening, the things you say about me. He actually told me I was more of a man than him, and that I'd be making a huge mistake if I let you go. And he was right, because that would be the biggest mistake of my life. I listened to every word he had to say to me - saw the sincerity in his eyes - and I can see he's an honest man now."

"I'm sorry I went to see him again," I whispered as I snuggled back next to him, pulling him closer.

"It's okay, we don't need to worry about all that now. Just do me a favor."

"Anything."

"When we tell people the beautiful story of how we got engaged…can we leave out the part where I was almost naked and…you know," he laughed, and I did, too.

"Sure thing. Though I'm sure the grandkiddies would love to hear about it," I joked, kissing his chest just once. "I love you," I murmured against his salty flesh.

"I love you," he breathed against my ear, causing my skin to pebble again, a contented sigh escaping us both.

* * *

**A/N: **So, what did you all think?

Just on a final note, i'm going to do some pimping.

Since we're talking proposal's this chapter, i want to recomend a fanfic contest...

Pop the Question on Twificcentral(dot)com is now opening for voting and has some good story's, so if you want more proposal's go check it out! There's a cute little Bella/Carlisle one up there that i loved!


	29. Chapter 29  Part 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, just this story. All credit goes to SM

**A/N: **Hey guys - thank you all for the reviews and alerts on the last chapter! Makes my day that does!

So here it it - Chapter 29 - but its in a part 1.

I know, i said it would be the last chapter, but i had so many things i wanted to happen, it got broken up.

A huge thank you goes to my beta, Nachos4children for all her hard work helping me with this chapter. I love you so much!

I guess all i have to say is - Enjoy! Mucho love to you all!

* * *

**Chapter 29 – Part 1**

I was tired, so very tired.

The seven hour flight to London was the longest flight I'd ever taken, and a first for the babies. How do you entertain two 4-year-olds and two babies for that long? We all found out the hard way.

When we arrived at the cottage that would be home to us all for the next seven days, the sun was setting over the surrounding fields, casting them in an orange glow. But I couldn't appreciate just how beautiful that was, or how stunning our white cottage, complete with rose bushes trailing up the wall either side of the front door, was. All I cared about was the bed that waited for Carlisle and me upstairs.

Leaving our luggage in the hall, we sorted out bedrooms. The Denali's divided up and took one bedroom and also set themselves up in the living room – I felt guilty, but they had all insisted Carlisle and I take the master bedroom. Isla and Jake took a small bedroom, while Alice, Jasper, and the babies took the remaining bedroom.

After carrying Isla up from the car, Carlisle lay her in bed, and we tucked her in gently, giving her a quick kiss good night.

Taking my hand, my husband-to-be led me to our bedroom, and as soon as the door closed, he had his hands on my hips, pulling me against him. He kissed my shoulder before pressing his nose against it and taking a deep breath.

Rolling my neck, I leaned against his shoulder and groaned.

As he chuckled, his shoulders wobbled my head, and I grinned lazily.

"Are you tired?" he asked softly, running his fingers through my hair.

"Whatever gave you that impression?" I drawled, fighting to keep my eyes open. Moving his hands, and causing me to waver a little, he began to massage my shoulders. I moaned at the beautiful sensation that coursed through me. "You're too good for me."

"I happen to think we're a perfect match," he whispered, causing my skin to prickle.

Turning around, I slowly began undoing his shirt.

"Actually, I agree with that," I replied, shoving his shirt down his arms and to the floor. I ran my hands over his biceps, and then began pulling him towards the bed. "Just come and wrap those gorgeous arms around me."

I climbed onto the bed and began to shed my own clothes, watching as he undid his trousers and let them drop to the floor, then picked them up and folded them up neatly making me laugh.

So I kicked my own clothes out, letting them fall anyway, and wiggled my finger for him to come over to me.

He crawled onto the bed, shaking his head, but a small smirk played on his lips briefly.

Everything was starting to go dark, or blurry, and I felt like a dead weight as Carlisle turned me onto my side, lying behind me and pulling me closer to him.

"Sleep tight, sweetheart," he breathed, and I just managed a mumble of some sort as I wound my fingers around the ones that lay in front of me before my eyes quickly closed, and I fell fast into a deep sleep.

When I woke up in the morning, I could smell coffee and something cooking. The bed beside me was empty, and judging by the laughter coming up the stairs, I guessed everyone was downstairs. Not having anything in the room with me but a robe, I wrapped up and headed down.

Just as I thought, everyone was sitting around a huge table in a pretty little room that connected to the kitchen, all wrapped in dressing gowns, except Alice - who looked ready for the catwalk. Walking over to the coffee machine and grabbing a mug, I eyed her outfit with raised eyebrows.

"Well, someone had to go to the shop," she offered as an explanation.

"Yeah, but most people don't dress like supermodels to do it," I retorted, pouring myself a drink.

"Well, I do. Pancakes?"

I looked into the frying pan that sat on the stove and studied the mess.

"Yeah…American pancakes are harder to make like this. And don't even get me started on the trouble I had at the store," she said, shooing me away.

Looking over to the group, I saw Jasper chuckle and shake his head. "They taste great, darlin'," he called to her, and she grinned sweetly.

Moving to stand behind Carlisle's chair, he grinned up at me, and I leaned down to give him a kiss before standing back to watch him with Isla and Jake. She was bossing Jake around, asking him to pass her things while listening to Daddy's "good heart," with her little plastic stethoscope.

"Daddy's going to be better soon," she told me as she took his temperature. Picking the stethoscope off the floor, Carlisle hung it around Isla's neck and smiled.

"Daddy's girl," he proudly announced as he stroked her hair.

"So Boss, what's on the agenda today?" Carmen asked Alice as she joined us.

Carmen and the rest of the Denali's had only briefly met Alice, but with her planning the wedding, they had been on the phone and Skype a lot, and they had quickly gotten used to Alice's personality.

"Today," Alice smiled, crossing her legs. "We're going sight-seeing in London."

Her plan consumed the next two days for us all. We saw Big Ben, took a ride on the London Eye, visited Buckingham palace, and went shopping, of course. Alice had us go everywhere - Harrods and Harvey Nichols at Knightsbridge, The Portobello Road market in Notting Hill, King's Road for Vivienne Westwood, Carnaby Street, Oxford Street, Regent Street for the Men, Bond Street and Mayfair, Hamley's toystore for the kids, and finished at Jimmy Choo in Westfield. I was surprised Alice wasn't begging Jasper to move here. Harrods and the Portobello Road market were the highlight for me, but Alice and Kate, I found, were in their element everywhere we went. I was just glad Alice spaced it all out and didn't try and achieve it one day!

The sights of London really were quite beautiful, and I was assured by many a Brit that the weather was a gorgeous rarity, and that we must have brought the weather over from the U.S. They clearly didn't realize that rain fell in Forks, too, and it fell a lot.

The closer our wedding day got, the more excited I got – and Carlisle did, too. We'd always been 'hot' for each other, as Alice put it to Tanya one day, but these past few days, I couldn't keep my hands off my husband-to-be. So when Carlisle suggested just the two of us go for a walk one evening after dinner, I grinned excitedly.

It was a wonderful, warm evening - perfect for our stroll through nearby fields, hand-in-hand. Our arms swung gently between us as Carlisle told me a little more about his childhood – just little stories about playing with other boys in fields like this one, and building dens. I liked hearing about Carlisle's past. It was rare he spoke about it.

Stopping at a fence at the top of a hill, we looked over the village. Carlisle stepped behind me, his hands resting on my hips. We just stood, enjoying the moment together, gazing over the beautiful green hills.

"It's really beautiful here," I said softly, and I felt him nod.

"So are you," he whispered back, stroking my hair away from the side of my face and tucking it behind my ear. I smiled, blushing as I did so, and turned to face him. The sunlight hit his face, casting shadows on one side, but the adoring smile wasn't hard to miss. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair.

Now that he wasn't receiving any treatment, his hair had started to thicken once more, and it looked as gorgeous as ever, shimmering in the natural light. Leaning towards me, Carlisle gently pressed his lips to mine, the both of us smiling into the kiss as I wrapped myself around him.

"How naughty are you feeling?" he asked, taking my hands in his and pulling me with him as he stepped backwards, a cheeky glint in his eyes.

"Doctor Cullen, what are you suggesting?" I asked, pretending to be shocked.

He didn't answer, just wore one hell of a sexy smirk as we slipped into the privacy of some nearby trees.

XxX

Today was the day of rehearsals, and Alice was excited for me to finally see the church. When we pulled up, I looked around at the dark emerald-green trees and apple-green grass surrounding the little stone building that we were approaching now on foot.

The bricks that made up the church were a pale grey, and it had a beautiful red tiled roof. It was small and cute, with greenery that naturally grew up the walls, like something in a fairytale. Flowers of red, yellow, and pink decorated the ground against the walls. The entrance was smaller than the rest of the building and was fronted by a big wooden door that creaked as we pushed it open to reveal another set of doors with glass panels. Carlisle pushed them open and led me inside, and I looked around in awe.

It was a stunning room, with a high ceiling, rows of oak benches with bibles neatly tucked into the back of them. Beautiful tapestries hung against the stone wall, and the light coming through the stain glass windows filled the room with color at the St. Peter and Paul church.

As we stepped between the rows, I looked at the rich, red carpet beneath my feet until we reached the end and stopped at a beautiful curve in the room. Several more benches sat behind the lectern at the top of three stone steps.

"What do you think?" Carlisle asked, and over his shoulder I saw Alice eagerly awaiting my thoughts.

"It's wonderful! I just love it!" I exclaimed, and Carlisle kissed my forehead as Alice squealed excitedly.

"Well, I don't believe it, but here he is before my very eyes," a tired, old voice drawled, and we spun around to face the owner.

"Alistair," Carlisle muttered in disbelief, and the man smiled, dipping his head a little.

"So, the son has returned?" he said as he and Carlisle embraced like old friends.

"And who is the beautiful young woman he brings with him?" He looked at me, and I blushed as they stepped away from one another.

"This is Isabella, my fiancé." Carlisle beamed proudly as he introduced us, and Alistair took my hand to shake it. He looked so frail, his skin was so thin and wrinkled, but he was strong, and his grip was steady. His eyes – they were a mesmerising color that looked old, well-read, and as if they held hundreds of years of knowledge. If I was honest, he intimidated me a little.

As he dropped my hand and moved over to introduce himself to Alice - throwing her compliments and making her blush, too - I watched how Carlisle acted around him. He held himself taller, and even dropped just a little of the American accent he had picked up. I'd actually never heard him sound so British - the pronunciation of his words was much more precise. I figured he intimidated Carlisle, too.

Noticing me watching him, he stepped to my side and confirmed my guess.

"Intimidating, isn't he?" he chuckled, and I nodded. "Alistair is an old family friend. My father was a pastor here, and they were close friends" Carlisle explained.

"But I haven't seen him since he skipped over sea's after Aro's death," Alistair added, stepping back towards us, and making me jump a little.

Carlisle flinched when Alistair mentioned his father – I knew how much it upset him, and as a result we had never really talked much about his life at home with his father. I just knew that despite the pain the memories caused him, he was proud of his British background and held it close to his heart.

"Well, you've seen me now," Carlisle replied with a stiff smile, and I squeezed his fingers for reassurance. Releasing a slow breath, he squeezed back.

"I wondered if I might have a word?" Alistair asked him. "In private," he added when Carlisle glanced my way. I nodded before pecking his cheek and walking off to talk to Alice, watching out the corner of my eye as they moved to a room towards the back of the church.

"So, what I want to do…" she started, now animated as she explained her ideas for decoration.

"Just don't go overboard," I begged, loving how something so simple could be so enchanting.

"When do I go overboard?" she asked, and I smirked as I took a seat on a bench, tilting my head to look at the ceiling.

Just then, the door opened, and our small wedding party entered the room, all gazing around them. Isla ran to me, and I lifted her into my lap and held her tightly for cuddles.

"Listen, baby, Mommy's just stepping away for a moment. Can you stay with Aunty Alice and be a good girl?" I asked, setting her down again and standing up. Alice's brow creased so I whispered 'bathroom' to her and headed off in the same direction Carlisle and Alistair had gone.

When I left the bathroom, I noticed a side door slightly ajar and heard Carlisle's voice from inside the room. This area was out of the way, and quite hollow – the sound traveled well.

I knew I shouldn't eavesdrop, but I stayed rooted to the spot, listening hard.

"You've done well for yourself, Carlisle. There's no doubting it was brave of you to defy your father so."

"It's not about bravery - it was about me being me and doing something I wanted to do, not what I was told."

"Well, you certainly surprised him. It was a lot for an ill man to take in."

"Are you trying to imply that I was somehow responsible for his death?" Carlisle almost hissed, but Alistair was chuckling.

"I never said such a thing."

They were silent for a moment, and I debated leaving – this was clearly a very private conversation, and one I shouldn't be sneaking a listen on.

"You're a fine man, Carlisle, but divorce?" Alistair said.

That was enough to keep me there.

Carlisle sighed. "I know what my father and you think about divorce, but you didn't know her, or what she did to me."

"Surely, it wasn't that bad."

"I'd say infidelity was bad, and after I'd forgiven her several times. I couldn't forgive her again, and she clearly didn't love me. Besides, I think God took me down that road for a reason – He and Esme led me to my Bella, and I couldn't be happier - or more grateful."

"And she's the one for you?"

"She is. A world where there is no Bella, is no world for me."

I could feel my heart swell with joy and love, and a smile spread across my face.

"Very well."

"So will you please join Bella and myself as husband and wife? It would mean a lot to me."

There was silence again before Alistair hummed.

"You look…run down," he observed, and Carlisle laughed.

"How would you know if I looked different? I was nineteen when I left. I look old now, if that's what you mean."

"How are you, really? You seem rather desperate to marry this woman."

Carlisle was laughing again. "Is it so wrong of me to want to be joined to my soulmate? To be eager to marry her?"

"That's not it, Carlisle, and you know it."

"Alice told you about my cancer, didn't she?"

Alistair didn't say anything, but that must have been the case because Carlisle sighed again.

"There's always a chance that it could return, but that's a very slim chance. Besides, if you're going where I think you're going with this, I'm not marrying her because of that. I love her. I want to be joined together, under the eyes of God and pledge my love and devotion to her for as long as we both shall live."

I could feel the tears prickling my eyes as he spoke, and held in a sniffle.

"Your father would hate me for this, but I can't help but be proud of you. I will do this for you, as long as you make me two promises," Alistair answered.

"Which are?"

I looked through the gap in the door. He was standing in front of Carlisle who was sitting forward, his hands clasped together, looking up at his old friend.

"Don't be a stranger – there are letters you could write." Carlisle nodded, so he continued. "Cherish every moment with your family. You're a very lucky man."

He looked at me then, causing me to gasp and jump back a little, just as the door opened fully. Carlisle turned toward me, and Alistair stood smiling, still holding the door handle.

I blushed furiously, having been caught and mumbled an apology like a naughty child. Alistair stepped back, and I hurried in, joining Carlisle who pulled me next to him.

"Your mother, on the other hand, now she would be proud," Alistair finished, and then left us alone.

As the door closed behind him, I turned and wrapped my arms around Carlisle's neck, fiddling with the ends of his hair. "I'm sorry I listened in," I whispered, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Stop apologizing to me!" he laughed, leaning down to place a kiss on my temple.  
Nuzzling his neck with my nose, I grinned. "You never told me your father's name – strange names in your family."

"I actually have no idea where my father got his name, but I hear my mother chose Carlisle – an old British name, dating back to the 1800's, and one that was in her family – because she was fond of it."

"I'm not knocking it – I like it."

"I know you do," he said with a sexy smirk, tickling me just a little at the ribs. "So, how about we go practice getting married?" he asked, wrapping his arms around me and standing, holding onto me tightly. I squeaked when he pretended to drop me, and I hit his chest playfully.

"Let's do it, hubby," I replied, getting down and following him out to where our friends were chatting, and smiled, feeling nothing but happiness.

XxX

I groaned as Alice fiddled with my hair one last time.

"Can we just go now, please?" I muttered, agitated as I tapped my foot.

"We won't be late – I planned it too well," she grinned as she smoothed a non-existent wrinkle from my dress.

Stepping back, she smiled. But I was too nervous to smile back – my hands were shaking, and I had to take several breaths to calm myself.

Outside, a car horn beeped, and my head snapped up to peek out the window.

"A limo, really?" I asked.

"Well, we all have to get there somehow," Tanya laughed, pulling Irina with her.

The Denali's were still here and traveling with us – I wasn't up for a big grand entrance. Carlisle and Jasper had stayed at a bed and breakfast not too far away last night – Alice was trying to keep as much of this as traditional as possible.

"Just think of Carlisle," Carmen whispered as my hand shook harder, and a grin instantly spread across my face. Shaking my hands out and taking a deep, calming breath, I headed outside.

The weather was beautiful as I stepped out of the vehicle at the church doors. My nerves were returning as I tried to picture Carlisle. I had no idea why I was nervous about doing something that felt so completely right and would tie me to the man I loved for the rest of our lives…

At that moment, Isla stood beside me, slipping her tiny hand into mine, and I turned to her – she looked so pretty in her little dress with a small basket of flowers. Gazing down at my own dress, I sighed happily. Alice had done me proud, and not gone over the top. Instead, she had found me the most perfect little gown I had ever seen – a strapless lace and tulle dress with a sheath skirt, and an illusion overlay with a beaded high halter and trimmed hemline.

If I was honest, most of that description meant little to me, but when I looked at it, it was stunning.

Turning to Tanya, I took my bouquet of sunflowers and nodded. I was so ready to marry that man in there.

Carmen, Eleazar, Tanya, Irina, and Kate headed in first, and I heard the music start up. Standing behind me, Alice cleared her throat, and I took my first step forward in the over-priced - but still complimenting - silver strappy shoes I wore.

Jacob stepped up, too, at that point, in his little suit, and took Isla's hand as he walked behind me with his mommy.

A soft tune began to play when I entered the church, but the music was the last thing on my mind. I briefly took in Alice's decorations, more so she'd see me actually acknowledge them, and they were perfect. White tulle material draped between the benches that weren't used, and spectacular flower arrangements sat in tall vases on every other bench.

But the most beautiful sight of all, was seeing Carlisle standing at the top, next to a grinning Jasper, waiting for me.

I could tell by the way he stood that he was every bit as nervous as I, but when Jasper nudged him a little, he turned to look at me, and a grin spread across his face.

He looked so unbelievably handsome in his black tuxedo and white shirt. He wore a gold cravat and handkerchief that matched the bows that hung on the girls' dresses and around the room.

When I approached him, and Alice had moved off with the kids, Carlisle took my hand in his and squeezed. "You look stunning," he whispered, and his expression reminded me somewhat of an excited teenager.

I couldn't manage words to tell him what I thought, so I ended up just nodding a little.

As Alistair began the ceremony, his voice seemed distant, and I felt like I was in my own bubble. All I could see was Carlisle, and all I could do was smile - so much so that my cheeks ached. But I didn't care because I wanted to show exactly how happy this made me.

Carlisle and I repeated the vows of thousands of lovers before us, but they didn't mean any less. It felt like a confirmation of our relationship, not just future promises. We _had_looked after each other in sickness and in health, loved each other for better or for worse.

Taking my hand, Carlisle slipped on my finger, a beautiful wedding band with small diamonds running around one edge.

I'd spent weeks making sure I chose a ring I thought was perfect for Carlisle. He'd never worn jewellery, and I actually couldn't recall having seen his wedding ring from Esme, but I knew I couldn't give him anything chunky if he was to wear it at work. So I had picked out a thinner band, and though it looked simple, I had had it engraved with one simple, but meaningful word: "Forever."

Tears of joy and happiness rolled down our cheeks as we sealed it with a kiss, and we laughed at the cheers of our friends.

Outside, Alice surprised us by having hired a photographer, and called it her gift to us. Thanking her, we posed for photos before heading over to our 'reception.'

We hadn't really planned to do anything at all, perhaps just a few drinks back at the cottage, but on our walk the other day, we saw a lovely little pub and decided it would be nice to have drinks there instead.

We got some odd looks as we went in, but for the most part, we had friendly strangers congratulating us.

Much to Alice's disapproval, we all had a meal from the pub's menu – she couldn't understand pub food. "What's with all the steak and pies?" she asked, earning giggles from us all. "I just like proper food, that's all," she said, reluctantly ordering a pie anyway.

"It is! Good old British classics!" Carlisle laughed, highlighting his British accent a little more.

As desert came round an hour later, I heard my phone sound from somewhere. Finding it in Alice's bag, I checked the text message I had just received.

"Edward!" I gasped.

**Thoughts...? x**


	30. Chapter 29 Part 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight, all credit goes to SM. I just own this story.

**A/N: **Hi guys! Thank you all so much for your reviews, alerts and for reading the chapter!

So here it is - the last chapter. Boo :-(

I'm sad to have this come to an end, but i've really enjoyed the past year and a half i've spent working on it, and i'm really greateful to everyone who has ever taken the time to read a chapter, review my story, Alert the story, follow the story... i really apprciate your feedback!

I hope you all enjoyed this story just as much as i enjoyed writing it.

I also want to thank Kay for helping me get my baby started and for helping me with those first few chapters, and a massive thank you to Nachos4Children for helping me continue the journey when i thought i'd lost my way. You've helped me so much and im so thankful to have such a wonderful friend in my life. I love you lots jelly tots.

I'm currently working on a little extra for this story, and a whole new story!

It's, of course, going to be a Carlisle/Bella, and i've been working on it for a few months now, so keep an eye out for that if you'd like to check it out!

I'm also going to add a list of things that really inspired this story, so i'll be adding that at some point in the near future.

Well, i hope you enjoy this final chapter, and thank you all again! X

* * *

**Chapter 29 Part 2**

Smiling, I showed Carlisle the message, and he smiled back at me.

"_I figure by now you'll be Mrs. Cullen...Congratulations to you both. xx E"_

My decision to talk to Edward again had been made with Carlisle. When I found out exactly what he had done to sort out the mess we had made, my anger towards him softened. I really appreciated what he had done for me, and wanted to apologize. When Carlisle heard my side of the story, he agreed that an apology should be given, and after a very long talk, I decided I wanted to keep in touch with Edward. Carlisle wasn't too sure to begin with, but said that he trusted me and my decision.

_I stood in front of Edward nervously, twiddling my fingers together._

_"I'm sorry," I muttered, watching as he smiled._

_"So you should be – I saved your bacon," he said, poking my shoulder playfully._

_"I really am grateful for that, Edward. I don't suppose it was easy on you."_

_He took a deep, noisy breath and released it. "No, it wasn't, really," he admitted as we moved to sit on a bench in the park. _

_For a few moments we sat in silence, both overlooking the pond that was just ahead._

_"Thank you," I whispered, leaning my head on his shoulder._

_He lowered his head so it touched mine briefly before nodding._

_"I'm rather impressed, actually," I continued. "You really are different! I like you like this – you proved yourself a good friend."_

_"Maybe rather selfishly."_

_"How so?" I asked._

_"Well, it means you're still in my life, and I don't deserve that. I feel selfish," he shrugged, making my head move with the motion._

_I thought for a moment before turning to look at him, until our eyes met._

_"Maybe you've earned your place," I smiled, stretching a hand out towards him. "Friends?" _

_Placing his palm against mine, he shook my hand. "Friends," he confirmed._

As I typed a quick reply to thank him, Carlisle rose beside me.

"I'll be back soon," he whispered, kissing my head and leaving me thoroughly confused.

And he really was back soon, wearing a smug grin, too.

"What are you up to?" I asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Nothing," he replied, taking a sip of his drink, grin still in place.

I got _really_suspicious though, when everyone started getting ready to leave.

Standing with them, I was steered away by Carlisle, his arms wrapping around me, pulling me back to him.

"Say goodnight to Isla," he said, waiting for her to come over to us with Alice.

"Goodnight? Why?"

"She's staying with Aunty Alice tonight," he explained, giving her a kiss.

I kissed and cuddled her, but still couldn't understand why

"Bella, can you just relax, please? You know she'll be fine," he said, taking my hand. I followed him outside where the limo waited for us and climbed in first. Sitting next to me, Carlisle opened a bottle of champagne and poured us each a glass.

"To us," he said, raising his glass. Smiling, I toasted to our day.

"So, where are we going?" I asked, before taking a sip of my drink.

"Bella!" he groaned.

"Okay! I'm sorry! I'm just…excited."

"You should be," he purred in my ear, making me giggle.

Just then, the limo pulled up outside a little bed and breakfast.

I watched as Carlisle got out of the car and held a hand out to me, helping me out.

"Is this where you and Jasper stayed?" I asked as the driver opened the trunk and pulled out an overnight bag.

"It is," he replied, thanking the driver as he took the bag - my bag.

"Mrs. Cullen, if you would follow me," he said, holding his arm out.

Hooking my arm in his, he ushered me inside, and with a quick nod to who I assumed was the owner, led me upstairs.

When we got to the top of the stairs though, Carlisle moved behind me, suddenly covering my eyes.

I laughed as Carlisle tried to juggle covering my eyes with one hand, carrying my bag, and opening the door, before he guided me forward and into the room. I heard the thud of my bag drop to the floor, and the sound of the door closing before he moved his hand away to reveal the room.

It was a small room, but what Carlisle had done with it…

My bridal bouquet of sunflowers lay in the middle of the bed which was surrounded by lit candles. A few steps from the end of the bed, sat an ice bucket with more champagne and two very delicate flutes stood on a small table.

"It's beautiful," I whispered, turning to Carlisle who stood there, smiling. Reaching out, he moved a stray strand of hair from my face and stepped closer.

He kissed me softly as my arms wrapped around his neck.

"Well, Mrs. Cullen…I think you're really overdressed for this evening's entertainment," he purred seductively, looking down at my dress.

"Well then, Dr. Cullen, maybe you should help me out," I replied, stepping away and turning my back to him, reaching one arm behind for the zip on the back and pulling at it.

His hands were on mine quickly, taking over and unzipping my dress, which fell to the floor. I stepped out of it and turned to face him, leaning to one side and putting my hands on my hips.

As well as his ring, sexy lingerie was another thing I'd thought about getting for Carlisle, and judging by the look on his face, I'd done well.

Posing for him in my strapless, nude lace bra with matching panties, I watched as his eyes raked over my body. When they finally found my face, I bit my lip and reached to my head, pulling the pins from my hair and let it cascade around my face as I shook it out a little.

"You'll be the end of me," Carlisle groaned, stepping forward quickly, placing his hands under my ass and lifting me up.

Wrapping my arms and legs around him, I moaned loudly as he carried me the couple of steps to the bed and lay me down, hovering over me.

"Well, Dr. Cullen…I think you're really over dressed for this evening's entertainment," I whispered, echoing his earlier words as I reached to pull his jacket off.

"Well then, Mrs. Cullen, I think you should help me out," he repeated, kissing down my neck eliciting a soft moan from me.

I reached forward, tugging on the belt loops of his dress pants, and pulled him closer so I could undo them.

Sliding the zipper down, I slipped my hand inside, pressing the palm of my hand against his warm, hard flesh, causing Carlisle to moan out this time. I grinned as I removed my hand slowly, sliding up beneath his shirt, dragging my nails back down along his skin before removing my hand completely. He growled playfully as leaned in, nipping on my neck as I writhed beneath him.

My fingers made quick work of his shirt buttons, pushing the soft fabric off his shoulders and down his arms, tugging it from him. I ran my hands over his body gently, feeling every muscle and curve of his beautiful body before resting them on his open pants, using them to pull him against me.

Our lips met in a heated kiss that he then extended to my body, brushing them along my skin, and I moaned as I threaded my hands through his hair, tugging gently when he removed my panties and a finger grazed along my sensitive flesh. I quickly moved my hands to his pants, helping him to slide them off until he was in nothing but his beautiful, soft, pale skin.

Our eyes met, staring at each other adoringly as he slowly removed my bra, and tossed it to the side somewhere. For a moment, we just looked at each other, a smile creeping up on each of our faces, as he lowered his head towards mine - his nose nuzzling my neck. "I love you so much, Mrs. Cullen," he breathed.

"I love you, too," I whispered back, before grazing my teeth along the lobe of the ear next to me.

Carefully, Carlisle positioned himself above me, and when I looked between us, he touched me with one gentle finger. I breathed heavily as he slowly stroked me - the ache between my legs becoming agonizing as I tried to wait patiently for the touch my body craved from him.

It wasn't long before he gave it to me, inserting one, then two fingers into me and slowly pumping while his thumb stroked that sensitive bundle of nerves. My back arched at this intimate touch, and my breath became ragged as his movements within me got faster.

I could feel my orgasm building like the bubbling of water before it reached its boiling point, and my fingers tightly wound into the bed sheet beneath me as I began to cry out, moaning his name repeatedly. His fingers stilled within me as my body clenched around them, before slowly sliding them out.

I gazed up at him, sitting up a little to reach down and wrap my sweating hand around him, and started pumping slowly. His head fell back, his teeth gripping his bottom lip as I moved forward, my other hand wrapping behind him, squeezing his perfect ass and bringing him forward so I lick him - only the tip - just enough to tease him, and a moan escaped his lips.

Then I took him into my mouth, but not all of him as I continued to tease and take my time - licking and sucking, licking and sucking. I looked up at him through my lashes, the desire in his eyes turning me on and spurring me further - licking and sucking.

When I removed him from my mouth for a moment, Carlisle took himself in his hand, and stroked himself a few times, and I clenched my thighs together at the sight. Resting my hands on his hips, I pulled him back down to the bed with me, kissing wherever my lips could reach.

Positioned over me again, he bent, teasing my hard pink buds with his wet tongue as he teased my entrance with his throbbing member. I wanted him so badly, right now, and I wasn't afraid to beg for it. "Carlisle... please," I breathed and looked between us again as he pushed himself inside.

We moved together slowly, passionately - his hand coming to brush a stray strand of hair from my face, his thumb moving over my cheek, and I turned my head to lay a kiss in his palm. Bringing my arms up, I wrapped them around his neck, pulling him down to me, our tongues tangling together perfectly as I hitched my legs around his waist and brought my ankles together, tightening myself around him.

His thrusts picked up speed, and I could feel another orgasm building at the feel of each stroke against my walls. I was panting beneath him, digging my nails into his back and watching red marks appear where they had just been.

I knew I was close - I could feel myself beginning to tighten around him, clenching him inside me. I could see my chest rise and fall rapidly like his - stuttered, unfinished versions of his name left my lips again as I finally let go, whimpering beneath him.

I untangled my legs from behind him and rested them on the bed, watching Carlisle lean back slightly, his hips grind into me harder and harder - the grunts and groans that came from him as his eyes rolled, before I felt his release inside me, his hips jerking against me, his breath as ragged as mine.

We were one - always as one - and when I looked up to see his lazy grin as he stroked inside me a few final times before pulling out, I couldn't have been happier. The pleasure we gave each other was intense; I'd never known anything like it, and this man - this beautiful, loving man - lit up my entire world.

_Mrs. Carlisle Cullen._

I'd never tire of hearing that. And I'd never tire of this feeling - the feeling that I belonged somewhere with someone.

Falling into the soft pillows beside me, Carlisle wrapped his arms around me, pulling our hot, naked, sweating bodies together, planting small kisses on my shoulder.

Carlisle was my saviour, my destiny... there were a million ways to describe him, and none of them seemed to capture exactly what my heart felt.

"What are you thinking about sweetheart?" he whispered, running a single finger along my arm, causing me to shiver in pleasant ways.

"Life. Love. You," I replied, and I felt his smile against my skin.

Today had been a long and beautiful day, finished with a magical coming together of our souls - even more together than before - and I settled next to my husband, pretty sure I'd never felt happier and fell into a peaceful sleep with him wrapped around me.

XxX

As I sat in my kitchen back at home waiting patiently, I caught a glimpse of the ring that glittered on my finger, and I smiled fondly.

It'd only been two weeks since the wedding, but I was still riding on the high of it all.

_Carlisle's wife_...I couldn't get enough of it.

Seeing him emerge at the kitchen door, I smiled at him and lowered my hand.

"You ready?" he asked, leaning against the door with his hands in his pockets.

"I am," I said, jumping down from the stool and calling Isla.

She ran in from the playroom in her little party dress, her hair up in pigtails, and ran straight to Daddy. Picking her up, Carlisle led the way outside and strapped Isla in the car while I locked up the house.

"So why is it Alice wanted us all dressed up?" he asked as I got in the passenger seat and buckled my seat belt.

"I have no idea. You know Alice - any reason to have a party."

Carlisle simply chuckled as we headed into town.

Pulling into the parking garage, we couldn't believe how full it was. "Jeez, how many people did she invite?" I mumbled, climbing out.

"The whole town, as usual," he laughed as we walked across the lot.

Stepping inside the way-too-fancy restaurant, we could hear music playing loudly and people laughing.

But I wasn't prepared for what I saw next.

As we walked into the room, there was a pearl-white and pink balloon arch. Tulle material - the same as at the church - hung around the room, but decorated with pink bows. Tables sat around the room covered with pink cloths, candles, and white and pink roses in a small glass vases.

On one side, a banquet table sat, full of food, and at the end…a huge three-tiered cake.

Rolling my eyes, I looked at Carlisle and smirked, just as Alice bounced up to us.

"Surprise!" she shouted, before everyone turned around and showered us with confetti. It seemed like most of the town was here – neighbours, Carlisle's colleagues, the Denali's.

Hugging her, I pulled her a little tighter to me. "What. Are you doing?"

She pulled away, a satisfied grin plastered to her face. "Wedding reception – I even got a cake!"

"The cake, you said, would be smaller," I continued as she hugged Carlisle as well.

Turning back to me, Alice shrugged. "That was when the cake was for England. This one I planned on my own. I couldn't very well tell you - I had to be sneaky. Besides, how would we feed all these people?" she smirked, moving off with Isla.

A surprise wedding reception. I laughed, shaking my head before Carlisle and I went around to greet everyone and thank them for coming and for the gifts and cards people seemed to be giving us…their generosity was overwhelming.

And amazing.

About halfway through the night, Carlisle pulled me onto the dance floor, his hands resting on my hips as we began to sway.

Suddenly, I recognized the song.

"Did you do this?" I asked, and he nodded. It was the song we were dancing to when I confessed how I felt - when I kissed him for the first time.

"Do you remember our first dance?" he asked as we moved to the music.

"Honestly, I didn't pay too much attention to the song." I leaned forward, nuzzling my nose against his. "I remember you, though. I remember what you wore, how you smelled, the way your hair gleamed gold in the light, the look of determination you wore. I remember your touch, and how I felt when you pressed those beautiful lips to mine."

His eyes danced happily, his smile dazzling. "What were you thinking when I kissed you?" he asked.

I laughed at the memory. "I was pretty sure we were violating our doctor/patient relationship!" He chuckled with me as he spun me around and pulled me tight up against him again. "What were _you_thinking?" I had always been curious about that and had never asked him.

"You know – for a long time, I'd felt like a fool. I knew I was taking a huge risk career-wise, but I also knew I was falling in love with you. I didn't think you would ever look at me that way, until Alice spoke to me. And so I went in there determined to find out for myself how you felt. I had to know, but I was so nervous. Those words you whispered, your confession…I just couldn't find the words to respond, so I kissed you, trying to pour every damn emotion I could into it."

Leaning forward, he took my upper lip between his until the song ended, and everyone around us moved aside.

Alice was standing on stage, looking rather proud of herself and holding a champagne flute. "Now, I know the lovely couple got married two weeks ago, but I didn't get to give a speech then. So I'm taking my opportunity!"

Everyone laughed and we were suddenly handed our own drinks by Jasper.

"Bella, has always been like a sister to me. I remember the day we met – she scared me half to death with her lack of fashion knowledge, but she made me laugh. The same sorts of things excited us, and we could talk for hours. She's always been there for me, and it hurts that I can't say the same."

I was shaking my head at her, pretty sure I knew what she was talking about.

"But I'm glad someone was. And that someone was Carlisle. I knew before Bella did that she was attracted to him, and it was almost painful waiting for them to get together - but just look at them. Besides me and Jazz," she winked, "I've never seen a stronger couple: two people that love each other so much, really support each other, and are so matched. They're family to me, and I love them both so much. I'm so glad I got to share that special day with them, and I wish them all the best for their future. To Bella and Carlisle!" she toasted, and raising my glass with one arm, I used my free hand to wipe away a stray tear.

Alice ran down to me, hugging me tightly, trying her hardest not to cry herself, before she hugged Carlisle.

"I've chosen a song for you both for your first _official_dance," she smiled, glancing at Carlisle, who grinned back at her. The dance floor cleared, and the lights lowered. Alice stepped away with our glasses, and Carlisle took the cue and pulled me back to him for a dance.

_Didn't they always say we were the lucky ones_

The song began, and Carlisle kissed me, cheers erupting from our guests and my cheeks burning.

_I guess that we were once, babe, we were once_  
_But luck will leave you 'cause it is a faithless friend_  
_And in the end when life has got you down_  
_You've got someone here you can wrap your arms around_  
_So hold on to me tight, hold on to me tonight_  
_We are stronger here together than we could ever be alone_  
_So hold on to me, don't you ever let me go_  
_There's a thousand ways for things to fall apart_  
_But it's no one's fault, no, it's not my fault_  
_And maybe all the plans we made might not work out_  
_But I have no doubt even though It's hard to see_  
_I've got faith in us, I believe in you and me_  
_So hold on to me tight, Hold on, I promise it'll be alright_  
_'Cause it's you and me together, and baby all we've got is time_  
_So hold on to me, hold on to me tonight_

My head was resting on his shoulder, and I could feel his breath fanning across the skin of my neck, causing it to prickle.

_There's so many dreams that we have given up_  
_Take a look at all we've got_  
_And with this kind of love what we've got here is enough_  
_So hold on to me tight, hold on, I promise it'll be alright_  
_'Cause we are stronger here together than we could ever be alone_  
_Just hold on to me, don't you ever let me_  
_Hold on to me, it's gonna be alright, hold on to me tonight_  
_They always say, we were the lucky ones_

Being with Carlisle and having Isla, I really did feel so very lucky.

* * *

So, what do you think?

The song they had their first kiss to way back when was By Gabrielle, and it's called Should i stay

The song they have their first 'Official' wedding dance to is Michael Buble. Hold on.


	31. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. only this story is mine.  
All credit goes to SM

* * *

**Chapter 31 – Epilogue**

_5 years later_

Returning home, I breathed a sigh of relief: Carlisle's car was missing from the driveway. I knew he wasn't at work - he must have gone out.

I was home early.

Unlocking the door and flinging it open, I dragged my suitcase inside and left it to the side. I shut the door behind me and took my coat off, hanging it on the end of the banister. I wandered into the kitchen wanting a hot drink to sit and relax with, but what lay on the table distracted me.

A little banner, painted pink and yellow with flowers and butterflies, and people that I assumed were my little family. In wobbly letters, I read the words, "Welcome Home, Momma!" that brought a tear to my tired eye.

For the past month I had been away – far away on a book tour, promoting my new novel that had taken up most of the past 4 years.

It was a autobiographical novel, touching on what I had gone through with Edward - though I had obviously changed names and places of events. I had even sought Edward's permission when I started writing it - I didn't want him to feel like I was attacking him in some way and airing all his dirty laundry. I wanted him to be comfortable with it, and he was. We had talked at length about how I was portraying him, and the things I would disclose. In the process, he had learned how Carlisle and I had met, and how our relationship had developed. It had worried me at first, as writing it had brought back some painful memories, and I had slipped into the past, scared Edward would be mad at the revealing of the time I spent behind his back with Carlisle.

But he had told me he was glad someone had been there, that Carlisle had been persistent and kept an eye out for me: he was glad Carlisle had saved me. I had been touched by the kindness of his words, and after another long discussion with Carlisle, I had gone ahead.

It surprised me just how popular my little story had become, and catapulted me into a spotlight, meaning lots of hours and long periods of time away.

Carlisle was, of course, supportive. I had worried about being away from home for so long, about missing everyone - about not fulfilling my duty as housewife and momma.

But he assured me that he was very capable and would lessen his hours at the hospital. Alice agreed to chip in where she could between Jake and the twins, and we hired a nanny who came in a few hours every week. Carlisle said it was my time to shine, and I should grab it with both hands and enjoy it to the fullest. So I had.

Whenever I could, I made sure I came home, didn't spend too long away at a time, and especially made sure that I was home for anything important, like a charity function held for the hospital that I attended with Carlisle or a school play Isla was in - they were all more important than the book and too important for me to miss. I was glad I was done now.

Making my way into the living room, I laid down on the couch, propped my head on the arm, and closed my eyes.

I must have drifted off at some at point, because the next thing I heard was a bang in the hallway that startled me awake. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes and turned in my seat as I heard Isla's irritated little voice.

"OW! Daddy, who put…is that Momma's?" she asked.

"It looks like it, sweetie," he replied, and she squealed with delight, calling out to me.

"In here, princess," I called back, standing up and going to the door to meet Isla, scooping her up in a big hug. She giggled as I peppered her cheeks with kisses and squeezed her tightly before setting her back down again.

When I looked up, my ever-so-gorgeous husband stood there, smiling at me, a twinkle in his eyes. "You're early," he breathed, reaching over Isla's head to pull me into a one-armed hug. I leaned back to look at him before pressing my lips to his, kissing him deeply. Oh, how I'd missed those lips.

Isla started tugging on Carlisle's shirt, drawing his attention, and he leaned down so she could whisper in his ear.

"You're right, baby, shall we go show momma?" he asked, and she nodded eagerly. Taking my hand, Isla led me to the kitchen, proudly showing off her banner.

"It's brilliant, thank you, darling," I grinned, hugging her again.

"Where's my other favorite person?" I asked as I stood, looking at the two of them and noticing that someone was missing.

"Asleep. Had to bring his car seat in. He's in the hall," Carlisle nodded behind him, so I stepped around them into the hall.

There, by the foot of the stairs, fast asleep in his car seat, was my baby.

Shortly after the wedding, Carlisle had got the all clear from cancer, and shortly after that, we began trying for another baby.

Even with just one testicle, the odds that I could naturally conceive had been good. But considering how quickly I had gotten pregnant with Isla - who only took one slip up with contraception – I had started to worry it wasn't going to happen after two years of actively trying had produced nothing. I had even gone so far as to research the best time for me to conceive, and had surprised Carlisle at the hospital on a few occasions - seducing him in his office, but nothing happened.

Carlisle had started to feel low about the situation, despite my constant reminders that it wasn't his fault at all. So I stopped trying – I was probably making it worse for him by trying so hard, seemingly obsessed with getting pregnant.

But then Carlisle had suggested we go down the in vitro route and have tests done, which showed he didn't have a strong number of 'swimmers' as he put it. We had been just about ready to pull our savings and use the 'supplies' we had frozen before the operation, when I missed a period.

When I had told Carlisle, he said it was probably down to the stress I was putting myself under, and I believed him – until I started getting sick in the mornings.

Without telling Carlisle, I took a test at the hospital and found out I was six weeks pregnant.

We both had been overjoyed and Isla had been really excited, too. She seemed quite maternal, always mothering Sam and Emily, and couldn't wait to have her own baby brother or sister.

Eight months later, weighing 8lb 4oz, Baby Boy Seth came into our lives.

"Honestly, I think he gets bigger and bigger every time I go away," I whispered, leaning down and carefully taking him out the seat.

Turning to smile at Isla, I nodded for her to follow me upstairs. She kicked her shoes off and removed her coat quickly, leaving them in a small heap at the bottom of the stairs before following me, as did Carlisle.

We made our way into Seth's room, Isla turning his nightlight on before going into her room to choose a story. Every night, Isla would read a new story with Carlisle or me to Seth at bedtime, and despite him being out like a light tonight, it didn't put her off.

She sat in the chair beside his cot while I changed him, and when I brought him over and lay him down, she began to read.

Carlisle and I grinned at each other when we saw that she had picked _Love You Forever_, and he moved around the cot to stand behind me, and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me tightly against him. "I missed you," he whispered, so as not to disrupt our little girl.

I sighed happily, pulling his arms even tighter - as if that were possible - and leaned my head back against him, happy to be finally back in his arms.

I had missed these nights. Sitting alone in a hotel room somewhere and missing my family wasn't much fun, and I craved our simple bedtime routine.

Isla made it halfway through the book when her eyelids began to droop, and she yawned.

Chuckling, Carlisle moved around to her, taking the book and laying it down on the side table before pulling her into his arms and carrying her to her bed.

He lay her down, stroking her long hair from her face before kissing her forehead as I gathered her pyjamas and she got changed. Carlisle tucked her in as I kissed her good night.

Walking into the hallway, Carlisle grabbed my hand, pulling me against him before roughly pressing me against the wall and kissing me passionately. My arms wrapped around his neck, drawing him closer, and my fingers threaded through his hair, making me moan quietly into his mouth.

I really had missed him.

And I could feel how much Carlisle had missed me, as he pressed into me, making me smirk.

But he pulled away, pushing himself from the wall, and adjusted his pants a little. "I really fancy a drink," he said, running a hand through his hair.

"Really?" I asked, slightly annoyed by the loss of contact with him.

I saw the corners of his mouth turn up for a moment before he nodded. "Why don't you go grab us some wine and two glasses, and meet me in our room?"

"Now, that, I like," I grinned. Pushing myself from the wall, I headed downstairs.

I locked the front door first, before moving to the living room to switch off the light we'd left on, and then into the kitchen, moving to the fridge to pull a bottle out.

Grabbing the corkscrew, I wrestled with the bottle for a moment before it popped open, and then headed to the cupboards to grab two glasses. I stopped by the table again, looking at Isla's picture some more and beamed with pride before switching the lights out behind me until I got to the bedroom I shared with my husband.

The lamp was turned on at the bedside, casting the room in a soft, orange glow, but Carlisle was nowhere to be seen.

Setting the glasses and bottle down on the dresser, I moved to the bathroom where I could hear water running, and I pushed the door open gently.

The bath was running, filling with hot water and bubbles. Candles were lit around the room and on the other side of the bath, Carlisle stood shirtless, his pants undone. The flickering light from the candle cast jumping shadows over the best parts of his torso, and found myself licking my lips a little, my eyes focused on his still beautiful body.

I heard him chuckle as he leaned down, dipping his hand in the water before shutting the tap off, and he flicked drops from his fingers at me, making me smile. He moved towards me, until he was standing behind me, and rested his soft, warm, wet hands on my shoulders, rubbing them gently.

I rolled my neck and groaned softly, my eyes fluttering closed.

"I thought you could do with some winding down, Mrs. Cullen," he murmured in my ear before sucking the lobe between his lips. Slowly, he moved his hands, undoing my top and pulling it over my head, then tossed it towards the hamper in the corner. I turned to face him then, running my hands over his bare chest.

We didn't say anything - we didn't need to - as we slowly undressed one another, running our hands all over the other, learning each other again.

Our caresses were gentle and painfully slow. I could feel how much I wanted him – I could see how much he wanted me. But once we were naked before each other, Carlisle pulled me gently towards the bath and helped me step inside, then slid in behind me.

I sat with my back to him, and he reached out to pick up the soap, lathering it over my body and washing me all over. Once he had rinsed the suds from my skin, I tried to turn in the bath to face him and repay his kindness, but it only caused us to laugh hard as I slipped, and water sloshed over the side.

His hands ran over my arms as I sat facing him, wrapping my legs tightly around his waist and bringing us together once more. "I missed you so much," I whispered as I took my time washing him, running my hands everywhere ever so softly, then leaning to place kisses on his chest.

Carlisle held onto my waist as I leaned back, submerging my head into the hot water to wash my hair, and I gasped when a tongue flicked across my nipple. When I resurfaced, his smoldering gaze held me completely, and I just stared at him, my heart pounding. If it were possible, my husband got better looking the older he got, and my love for him grew with it.

Grasping his shoulders, I pulled myself up to him, my hand running up the nape of his neck and into his hair, pulling his lips to mine. His tongue quickly darted into my mouth, tangling with mine, and we both moaned at the contact our eager centers made.

The water splashed around us as we moved against each other, and I threw my head back in ecstasy as he hit my spot repeatedly; a low growl rumbled from deep within him. My breathing quickened, as did his thrusts, and I rolled my hips against him as much as I could, already feeling myself on the edge.

"God, I love you, Isabella," he groaned, thrusting harder, and I moaned his name. More water slipped over the edge of the tub, but I hardly paid it any attention, I just stared at my husband, captivated by the intense look in his eyes.

I bit down on my lip, trying not to close my eyes or cry out too loudly as I felt myself start to tighten around him, and with a few more hard thrusts, I was coming. I moaned as loud as I dared, his name tumbling from my quivering lips several times.

Carlisle smiled - my orgasm clearly satisfying him too as he rode me through it, then came himself, grunting in pleasure and pulling me tighter against him. My head fell on his shoulder as I panted, trying to catch my breath, and my legs splashed into the water as they dropped behind him. His hands brushed along my spine, and I wiggled against him.

"Maybe we should get a bigger bathtub," he laughed, and I nodded, joining his laughter.

We sat in silence for a few moments, stroking one another, and simply enjoying each other. "Welcome home," he whispered, kissing my temple as his fingers brushed through my wet, tangled curls.

"Maybe I should go away more often if this is how you welcome me home," I grinned, and he responded with a short, breathy laugh.

"Maybe we should get out the tub. Getting wrinkles this young is making me nervous," he joked, and I raised a hand to look at my pruned fingertips, smiling. I scooted backwards, and Carlisle made quick work of getting out, pulling a towel from the side and wrapping it around his waist. Grabbing another, he held it out ready for me, and I stood in the tub, making no effort to move, my hands on my hips. "What's wrong, darling?" he asked, looking a little concerned.

"Must you cover up? I've missed seeing that sexy body of yours," I smirked.

"Come," he chuckled, gesturing towards the bedroom. "And I'll show you more." He winked, and I quickly stepped from the tub, letting him wrap the soft, fluffy towel around me and pull me towards the bed.

"Ready for round two already, Dr. Cullen?" I asked playfully, walking past him and gently spanking him.

"With a beautiful woman such as yourself? You bet I am," he replied, coming behind me to lift me up into his arms. He then threw me onto the bed, and began climbing over me…

xxXXXXxxx

Bouncing my knee up and down, I watched my little girl dance across the stage in front of us. Carlisle sat beside me, holding onto the camcorder tightly with one hand and pointing it towards her. His free hand was held up, fending off two chubby little hands trying hard to get to the camera.

As Isla's dance ended, the music faded, and curtains closed, the room erupted into applause, and two tiny hands pushed themselves together, squealing in delight.

I couldn't have been prouder of our little girl, who wasn't so little any more. At nine years old, she had grown into a very pretty little girl, not to mention a smart girl. She was polite, outgoing, and well behaved – most of the time.

Picking up my bag, we waited in the aisle of the theatre and soon saw her making her way to us, skipping into her dad's embrace. Leaning around Carlisle, she hugged me, too, as we showered her with praise. She thanked us, but quickly turned her attention to her new best friend, who eagerly reached out of my arms towards her.

Isla kissed her brother quickly before jumping down from Daddy's arms and grabbing her bag. "Mommy, are we going now?" she asked in a hushed tone when his back was turned.

"We are, and remember – it's a secret," I replied, winking.

"What's a secret?" Carlisle asked, making me jump.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret, would it?" I smirked, tapping my nose once. With a suspicious look at Isla and myself, he took her hand, and we headed out the building.

Strapping the kids in the car, I began the drive back home, grinning at Carlisle's confused expression.

Whenever Isla had done well on a school report, or had one of her dance recitals, she was rewarded. Sometimes she chose a toy or a book, or, as Carlisle thought she was going to tonight - go eat out to somewhere. Though this evening, our thoughtful little girl hadn't done it just for herself.

"Why are we heading home?" he asked, looking confused.

"Isla changed her mind. She doesn't want to go tonight," I lied, smiling a little. Carlisle turned in his seat.

"Are you sure, princess?" he asked her, and she nodded. He wasn't thoroughly convinced though, and I could see the suspicion in his eyes.

After we parked, we got the kids and headed towards our dark house. Carlisle unlocked the door and headed in first, switching the hall light on. We took our coats off and hung them up, and I watched as Isla held his hand, dragging him towards the kitchen.

"Surprise!" everyone shouted, shocking Carlisle.

He looked around the kitchen, stunned to see our friends, before a smile broke through.

Alice had decorated the dining room table a little - a few balloons, party streamers… I had told her she was going over the top, but did she ever listen? Of course not.

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I leaned in to whisper "Happy Birthday," in his ear. He looked at me, still rather shocked, but smiling. "You didn't honestly believe I'd forgotten, did you?" I asked, moving to put Seth in his high chair.

"Honestly?" he asked, placing his hands on my hips and turning me towards him. "I'd hoped we weren't keeping track anymore," he joked, kissing my head. "You set this all up?"

I shook my head. "I had a little helper," I replied, winking at Isla.

"Do you like it, Daddy?" she asked as he lowered himself to her level.

"I love it, princess. Thank you so much," he said, hugging her.

Alice was first in line to wish him a Happy Birthday, Jasper stepping up next before Tanya and her family took their turn. Then we took a seat before letting Isla talk about her dancing.

"Happy Birthday," someone quietly interrupted, their hand patting Carlisle's shoulder.

We turned around and looked up to see a smiling Edward, his hand out stretched toward Carlisle. He took it, thanking Edward before asking how he was.

Over the past few years, Carlisle had actually made an effort to get to know my ex. He liked this Edward, and although they weren't quite "friends," they were friendly enough. Carlisle had eased up even more around Edward - once he had gotten engaged.

About a year and a half ago, Edward had met Victoria, a pretty redhead who had moved into town six months earlier. She had shown a clear interest in him, though he stayed away.

Now it was my turn to hand out advice and lend an ear.

_"I'm nervous…because of my past," he revealed to me._

_I could understand that. How would a potential girlfriend feel knowing that he went to prison for abusing his ex?_

_"I know it's going to be hard, but you have to do it. You can't ignore it and hope she never finds out, especially in this town. Tell her, and no matter what, she'll appreciate your honesty."_

Edward did tell her, and worried, she'd came to speak to me. So I had told her about how he had changed – that he was a gentleman now. I'd even shown her the book, and she'd taken it away to read.

She'd been a little shocked to begin with - I hadn't really spared many details, but when she had seen how Edward had changed, how he'd rehabilitated himself and essentially grown up a lot, she'd taken some time to talk to him, and put that Edward behind her, getting to know him as he was today.

And now here they were: newly engaged and madly in love. I was glad he found happiness.

"On cloud nine," he smiled, pulling her closer to him, and Alice and I caught a glimpse of the ring at the same time.

"Now THAT is a rock," Alice exclaimed, glancing at Carlisle who smirked at her little dig on engagement rings. She was still wary about Edward, but was fond of Victoria. They were complicated friendships for sure.

Edward and Victoria took a seat at the end of the table near Tanya and conversation started up again as Alice pulled lids from platters revealing party food that she had no doubt spent most of the day working on.

"Da-Da," Seth mumbled from next to me, so I lifted him out of the high chair, standing him on the floor between Carlisle and myself. For the past few weeks he had been cruising around, using furniture and people to get where he wanted. He was yet to go Lone Ranger.

But as Carlisle held his hands out, and encouraged Seth to come to him, we all clapped with joy as he took 4 wobbly steps to his dad – all by himself.

Picking him up, Carlisle hugged him, praising him and tickling, Seth giggling in his arms. I beamed with pride as Isla and Jake also came over, held Seth's hands and helped him walk forward. Carlisle draped an arm over my shoulder, holding me tightly and nuzzling my neck from behind. "I love you," he whispered, nibbling my ear lobe a little.

"Love you more," I replied, kissing his arm once and grinning at my beautiful family and friends.

There was a time when Bella Swan didn't believe in fairy tales, happy endings, or Prince Charming – they all belonged in Disney movies.

But as Bella Cullen – I had a whole new set of beliefs that included true love. I had found my Prince, had a perfect family, and our own little 'castle.' I had a boatload of treasure in the form of wonderful memories and moments that we'd shared and made.

Sure, things weren't always perfect – times could be hard, friendships strained, relationships that needed work, but we always found a way to make it work, to be happy together.

And that was my happily ever after.

* * *

A/N:

So there it was guys

The final FINAL chapter. *Sniff*

I want to take the time to thank you all so very much for reading, reviewing and alerting my story, and for following me along on this amazing journey.

This was the first fanfic I had ever written, and I've learnt so much during it.

I've added a few personal touches to this story, making some of it autobiographical, and I'm so glad it's been received well.

I've been writing this story for nearly Two years now, and I'm sad to see it come to an end.

But it's helped me grow and get better with my writing, and I have a few new things I'm working on, plus a few one shots on my profile!

I want to thank Kale87, who was initially my inspiration. I'd never read a Carlisle/Bella pairing before, and her's had me hooked, which prompted me to start my own.

She talked with me, listened to me and then beta'd my story. Thanks hunni!

My next, REALLY big thank you is to nachos4children.

I don't believe I could even function without her!

Not only did she help me keep this story when I wasn't sure where I wanted to take it, she's beta'd it, stuck with me, and been there for me.

I love you so much girl!

So, once again, I want to thank everyone who read it – it wouldn't even be here without you all and the nice comments you leave!

And I'll just throw in a thank you to Stephanie for creating Carlisle in the first place. Gosh I love that character so much!

(And that was before Peter played him! Imagine how much I love Carlisle now! Haha)

I really hope you've enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

All my love! X


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